| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| missusprim |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 3:28:00 PM
DH and I have been giving serious thought to adopting, in particular, a child or baby with Down Syndrome. There is much to consider and we are only beginning to research this. We are excited but we both have reservations of our own variation. We want to go forth with a clear head, mind and heart as this is a lifetime commitment and one not to be taken lightly.
We're not experts but we feel confident that we'd be able to do this and have done some research of our own so far. We'd also like to actually speak to parents, educators, doctors, etc. to find out all we can to better prepare us in our decision.
At this point we don't know if we even qualify because at our age (we're both 48.) So many questions and not really sure where to start. To do this would be awe inspiring, and we want it to be right.
If any of you ladies have any thoughts, concerns, etc. I'd love to hear from you. At this point my heart is treading oh so lightly as I don't want to get my hopes up too high only to have it come crashing down. KWIM?
Lately I've been taking note of any DS child I see, be it on t.v. or otherwise (Sarah Palin's son) and my longing just increases. It's a big step, and yet I'm so scared of being turned down - or running into an obstacle. My hopes are so high........ |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| missusprim |
Posted - Jan 14 2011 : 08:28:42 AM
Emily, what can I say? I smiled throughout the video of Jenny. To see how far this young lady has come makes my heart sing!
Thanks for much for posting this, and I wish you and Jenny all the best!
http://onceinnabluemoon.blogspot.com/
"Never trust a fart." Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List |
| alterationsbyemily |
Posted - Jan 13 2011 : 6:01:35 PM
missusprim - My aunt fostered roughly 50 severly handicapped children in the past 25 years or so. Her and my uncle had alot of heartbreak, some of the children passed because they were so sick when the got to them. Others like my cousin Jenny when they got her at the age of 2 she had slept in a drawer all of her life could not talk or communicate, the state gave her to my aunt and uncle and within a year they had her reading and communicating just fine, she is now 25 or so and is an artist. She went to this fancy school and started their ballet program for wheelchairs and was in their production of sleeping beauty here is the page for the school http://www.crotchedmountain.org/crotchedmountain/html/studentactivities.htm She really is something. Alot of the kids they really helped to become "adoptable" children and the parents would keep in touch. They get invited to alot of weddings now. I asked my uncle about it a few months back and he said it was the best thing they ever did.
--
See my custom costumes, download free patterns, and hear some spook EVPs from Gettysburg, PA on my site, www.alterationsbyemily.com |
| Tall Holly |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 09:40:36 AM
On the Texas adoption resource exchange page TARE there is a beautiful asian downs child awaiting parents. she is 2yo. you do not need to live in Texas to adopt her but you do need a homestudy.
Holly
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| ceejay48 |
Posted - Dec 23 2010 : 07:14:12 AM
Well, just a few "GUSHES" . . .
Jeremy has NO self esteem issues!! He is a "neat freak" and I can count on him to organize and clean up. He doesn't live with us . . his lives in a "host home" with a 24/7 caregiver but also is out and about doing other stuff . . basically he has his own life with lots of other people involved . . . we didn't want him to be totally dependent on us. We won't be around forever. He's only 5 miles away. He spends Sundays with us as well as other times when he stays over, goes on family trips, etc.
He is a huggy-bear, very courteous and friendly, never has been a discipline problem!
And, the boy can dance!!!!! He has rhythm like crazy and moves that one can be envious of!!!
He is a light!!
Thanks for letting me share!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665
From my Heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
From my Hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
From my Hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Dec 22 2010 : 6:13:20 PM
Hey there, CJ! Please wish Jeremy a happy belated birthday for me! Just l@@k at his light! It's beautiful!!! I'd love to hear all about him! Go ahead - GUSH! That's one of the best parts about being a Mom! :)
Still praying for you, Karen! :)
Merry Christmas! - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| missusprim |
Posted - Dec 22 2010 : 2:25:29 PM
Awww, Jeremy looks like a fine young man! Thanks so much for the encouragement and sharing your 'gift' - it surely warmed my heart on an otherwise dreary day.
When the busy holidays are over I'll be sure to update! |
| ceejay48 |
Posted - Dec 20 2010 : 8:42:20 PM
Let me introduce you to our son, Jeremy, who has Down Syndrome. He just turned 37 years old.
I could get really long-winded about him, his life, his part of our family and the community, but I won't.
At this point, I will simply say that he is the BEST!!! He is a GIFT!!! What a JOY!!!
I would be really happy to share more if you wish . . you can email me.
.JPG)
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665
From my Heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
From my Hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
From my Hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
| missusprim |
Posted - Dec 11 2010 : 8:26:52 PM
Thanks everyone for your wonderful support - it's nice to hear all the positive feedback and good experiences with each and every one! I'll update you if I can. |
| Tall Holly |
Posted - Dec 02 2010 : 6:00:12 PM
Adoption is great! All nine of our children are adopted. Six came as older children and three as infants. All learn in their own special ways. Four are grown and not living at home anymore. All have had their challenges but all are miracles.
You might want to read a book called Children of Dreams, Children of Hope by Raymundo Veras it is published by the Institues for the Achievement of Human Potential. It is a hopeful book about children with Downs Syndrome.
I havw found in the children around here that if the parents kicked but to get services for their children then the children did better than the parents who just went along for the ride.
I applaud anyone who is able to parent in the foster care system. We did it years ago and I had an awful time sending the child back to her parents or sending the child to the next placement because I did not agree with the social workers decisions. So, now we adopt.
Adoptuskids.org is a good site to start learning about adoption.
Good luck to you.
Holly |
| rough start farmgirl |
Posted - Dec 01 2010 : 05:06:51 AM
wow, Karen
With so much support, I hope you can find the courage to make the right decision for your family. I always wanted more children . . . many issues kept my "natural" count down to one - but of course, one that really counts! I never felt a child had to be born to me to be my child and I think my "step"son (hate that word) would tell you it's true. A few years ago, my husband looked at me holding a puppy and said, "You were right. You should have had loads of kids." It kinda broke my heart to have him finally see my need. So, I urge you to go for it. You know the right way for you and don't fight the feeling in your heart with making the "sensible" choice. I am saying this all wrong, I hope you can understand my message. You know if this is right for you and if you will regret not pursuing this opportunity for the rest of your life.
Prayers sent your way
Marianne |
| ponypower |
Posted - Nov 30 2010 : 08:55:21 AM
Thanks Jaimi. ; ) I can't tell you how happy she makes me. We are so relieved to have her out of danger. |
| J.F. Brown |
Posted - Nov 29 2010 : 2:59:34 PM
You said it just perfectly! Glad the surgery went well, and I know she'll be just great! |
| Princess_Of_The_Barn |
Posted - Nov 28 2010 : 8:04:20 PM
My BFF has adopted two DS kids. Her oldest son came to her at almost 2 years old. He's now 13. Her youngest daughter came to her at a year old. She fostered both of them, but her oldest was foster-to-adopt from the get-go while her daughter was a foster kid whom she was able to adopt.
Having both of those kids in her life has been magical. It's been so much fun watching those kids bloom and grow while in her care. She'd tell you right off that there's a waiting list for folks who would adopt a DS kid and if you search there's a website that has just DS kids listed. Here's one with international DS kids. http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/ds-0-2
I also love that my BFF has a bumper sticker on her van that says "MY KID HAS MORE CHROMOSOMES THAN YOUR KID!" A sense of humor always helps!
Livin' the dream! |
| ramonaj |
Posted - Nov 25 2010 : 6:36:40 PM
Maybe consider fostering a child first, especially if your husband may be having second thoughts. there are foster to adopt programs here. maybe your state has something like that.
happiness to all sentient beings |
| ponypower |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 8:29:19 PM
I love that! Totally what I was trying to say but said much much better! lol! |
| missusprim |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 4:20:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by J.F. Brown
The Down syndrome is a part of a person, but not the only part, not the most important part.
That is such a wonderful way to put it, I thank you!
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| J.F. Brown |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 3:27:16 PM
Through my son's sports, I have come to know many people with Down syndrome. Each is an individual, and each brings as many gifts as disabilities. My son is 31, and has autism and intellectual disabilities; his best friend, who has DS, has no problem telling my son to pull it together if he starts to spin out of control.
They have a friend who refers to herself as 'stubborn', but also says she is 'conservative but non-partisan'. She has DS. Another man we know, who also has DS, is the life of the party, and every one of them works, has opinions, activities, friends. Most vote, many are active in church or temple, most volunteer in the community.
Every child can drive a parent to tears, and to tears of joy and laughter. The Down syndrome is a part of a person, but not the only part, not the most important part. |
| MaryJane |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 12:46:31 AM
Hi Karen,
My sister adopted a Down Syndrome boy/infant and raised him until he was 18. He was anxious to be in a group setting/home and is doing fabulously well there. She still has her biological Down Syndrome/Autistic child at home with her. Because of his autism, he isn't at all social plus she keeps him on a very strict 100% organic, wheat/casein-free diet. She has cured his 20 year bout with Chrohn's disease through diet changes. She raised 7 children total, all of them super wonderful. Their DS boy is much loved by his siblings. With that many children, it was just one big pajama party (mostly a diaper party in the early years), all of it orchestrated by my sister's heart that is as big as a washtub!
I remember when all my siblings and spouses and their children converged on my farm for my mother's 70th b-day many years ago. We were all gathered around as my mother opened a necklace we had commissioned custom-made for the occasion. As she tearfully put it around her neck, our little guy broke the silence by loudly saying KEEP IT! He is uniquely humorous at all the right moments and has an infectious giggle/laugh.
MaryJane, Farmgirl #1 Plowin' Thru ~ giving aprons a good wrap for 45 years and counting ~
 |
| ponypower |
Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 8:02:37 PM
Dear Karen,
I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl Melody Sophia on April 30th of this year. She is a sweet, sweet girl with personality plus and I love her with all my heart. She is so much fun! She happens to have downs syndrome and we just got a major heart surgery behind us. What I want to tell you is,..from my view,..I applaud you for keeping an open mind and heart to a child that needs you. They are people first and foremost with the same prospects for a happy life as anyone that enters this earth. The diapers go on and off the same way! lol! So many people get hung up in the whole DS thing. I have already faced a lot of sentences starting with "downs syndrome kids are,....." Hooey!Each and every child is an individual FIRST! I asked about the "spectrum" that is talked about and the answer that I got was "when there is love and support in the home there is no limit as to what they can do" So I hope that if it is meant to be that a child finds you because it sounds to me like there is love to be had at your house. <3 |
| jpbluesky |
Posted - Nov 21 2010 : 5:50:11 PM
I firmly believe there are no more loving people than the farmgirls found here on this forum. Any child that needs love and care.....it is so wonderful that there are people who would take this opportunity to do God's work. But everyone must be prayerful that it is the job meant for them.....not everyone can do it joyfully and without reserve. I pray for you that your decision will be the right one for you as parents, and that you will not feel guilty if it is not the right time. Listen.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
| missusprim |
Posted - Nov 21 2010 : 5:09:38 PM
Nini, I was just a breath away from deleting my topic when I read your post. DH has not spoken a word about adopting for several days and I am very worried that he has changed his mind, or is having second thoughts - and so I basically gave up. I'm too afraid to ask and at this point I will see what happens.....it might be just the ensuing holidays that has him preoccupied.
But now I'm having second thoughts, and this is what I've been worried about: DH throwing out an idea (and boy, this one's a loaded one for me and he should've known it) and then backing off. It's not fair, and I'm at a loss as to where to go from here.
However, he did say when he originally brought it up, he made the comment about thinking about it for awhile, maybe until January, and seeing where we're at by then.
So glad you finally got your bundle of joy - doesn't it make it that much sweeter? I'm so happy for you, and I appreciate all you've said as it's given me the courage to hang on and see what happens in the enxt several weeks.
Thanks so much for your kind words! |
| Ninibini |
Posted - Nov 20 2010 : 12:08:43 PM
You're making me cry, Karen! I think this is a wonderful, wonderful thing you are considering! Every child comes with their own unique challenges, some more profound than others... but a child with Downs Syndrome also comes with the most incredible successes to celebrate! One of my cousins has a son with a multitude of challenges, and he is the delight of the family! Please try not to worry about what others think or feel - if this is in your heart, I'm with AnnMarie - God probably did put it there. He will not only make it all fall into place, He will equip you and your husband with everything you need. Love knows no bounds, and God has no limits!
As I was reading what you said about it being hard on you as a woman, I cried. I deeply feel for you. And I know what it is you must feel when you see the potential father in your husband. I went through that for eight years, never knowing, always hoping. We were blessed with a child of our own - our miracle baby - and I am truly grateful. But for years now I continue to pray for "just one more," however the Lord sees fit to bring him or her into our family. My heart aches, too. I have been there and do understand. I always say that I don't think God gives us these feelings to abandon us to pain. I believe instead that they are meant to uplift us to greater heights than ever imagined or hoped for! It sounds so much like that is what is happening in you! Awesome!
Prior to the birth of our son, we fostered teens, and I am truly grateful for the whole experience. I don't believe your age really has anything to do with fostering, and I also know that now a lot of states offer adoption to the foster families after so much time passes and when a family reunion is unlikely. Just a thought.
I am very, very happy and excited about the possibilities for your future family! I am sooooo looking forward to following your story, in prayer, the entire way, whichever option you pursue. No matter how your hearts are lead to find your child, please do not be afraid to follow.
Hugs - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
| missusprim |
Posted - Nov 20 2010 : 07:32:12 AM
I've also thrown out the idea of foster parenting to DH, as knittingmom has suggested. That, too, is an option that we should entertain. My head is spinning!
I've tried not pestering DH, as he is the one who initially broached the subject with me, but I can't help myself. For years I've expressed my sorrow at not having a child with him, and he had (up till now) has resigned himself to just enjoying each other, and yet I think now his heart is open for another life amongst ours.
I might add that DH and I will have been married 5 years this coming July. He has three kids from a previous marriage and I have two - all but my DD are adults and on their own with college, etc. It's been the ultimate in heartache to have met THE man who makes my soul smile, only to both be 'fixed' and unable to have a little one of our own. And it's been much harder on me as I think it's more of a woman's natural instinct to have that desire to provide a child for her DH. Even seeing DH cradling a cat in his arms as he would a child is so so very hard. Harder yet, is that my DH is such a wonderful, caring, kindhearted individual and absolutely loves little ones.
That said, I'm just not sure how to pursue this in a way that doesn't seem too forward, needy, or with the wrong intentions based on what others may think or feel.
Anyway, such serious stuff so close to the holidays! |
| maggie14 |
Posted - Nov 19 2010 : 6:45:24 PM
Hi, I don't have any advice either but may God bless you both!
Hugs,
Hannah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Lifes not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
Just a small town country girl, farmgirl,loggergirl, trying to live her dreams. :)
P.s. I've been playing around with the spelling of my name ( weird I know) and I've decided that I will stick with Hannah for good. Sorry I got you all confused. Hugs!! |
| KanMogirl |
Posted - Nov 19 2010 : 2:32:54 PM
You might, also, check out education facilities in your area as to what services are available for down syndrome children. Is there an ARC organization or support groups in your area?
I would rather wear out than rust out.----Richard Cumberland |
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