| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Apr 09 2009 : 11:06:30 AM
Ok, I'm trying really hard to let go of this anger but it's been very difficult and it's all I can do not to go buy a pack of smokes and smoke the whole darn thing!
The divorce is over, he not only left the house, he left the state and went to Oregon. All well and good, right? Should be, except for what he took with him. He took all of dd awards, trophies and her memory box. He took my jean jacket with my MJ Sisterhood patch on it, my personal journal, ALL of the family photos and photo albums including the baby pics of MY kids (previous marriage), the layout sheet of my baskets in MJ's book that she had given me and I had framed, my rosary, my cross necklace, the step stool dd made me with mom carved into the middle of a heart on it and my family bible with my mom's funeral flowers pressed in it.
I'm not nearly as upset over dd stuff as she is. I'm more upset that he upset her by taking her personal things that she's been saving since kindergarten. I suppose I can replace the rosary even though it was a gift and the necklace. MJ might not have a problem replacing my sisterhood patch but she probably doesn't have that layout photo anymore. I guess it's really the journal, which is a very private thing in my eyes; the baby pics that can never be replaced and my bible that upset me the most.
I keep telling myself that they are just things and to let it go, but it upsets me no end every time I think about it. I'm filing contempt charges as it was ordered in the divorce that I get back all of my personal items in his possession and all items in dd's room. Probably the only thing that will accomplish is to keep him out of state and away from me, which is also a good thing. I suppose I can't have it all my way and should be grateful I'm still here and that he's gone. But, ooooooooooh!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Alee |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 10:48:23 PM
I wish the original "If you ever come back to the state" order still sat. That would have been nice!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 10:42:37 PM
No, Alee, I couldn't include her in it because she's not a minor anymore. She has to do it herself. I told her, too, that maybe the city police can just go pay him a visit and let him know to leave her alone. They can go on the state system and see that he already has a No Contact Order against him which should help her in convincing them to at least pay him a visit.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| Alee |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 8:25:33 PM
Oh my gosh, Lisa! That man is a menace! I think he took a dive off the deep end! Is there any way that your no contact orders can include Felicia too?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 5:19:14 PM
I will certainly enjoy my birthday, Cindy. Felicia will be home for the summer next Saturday! It appears it is just in time, too.
She called me this afternoon...her dad showed up there(talk about popping up somewhere!) and tried to get the administrative office to tell him where he could find her on campus! When they wouldn't do that, he left a message for her there saying he was staying in a hotel and wants to see her and has money for her. Again with the money! She's scared to death to go see him. She told campus officials that she did not want to see him nor does she want him on campus looking for her. I told her she should notify the city police up there as she already has plenty of documentation for harassment just in the dozens of messages on her cell phone. Well, she only has one week of this before she comes home. Hopefully, he'll move on before she starts back in the fall.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| Mother Hen |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 3:21:33 PM
Lisa, at least you finally got that No Contact Order! It's wonderful that he can't even enter the county! I agree not to let your guard down, just when you think it's been a while and he must have moved on, he's bound to pop up somewhere.
God Bless, at least now you can enjoy your birthday(I hope).
Cindy
FARMGIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
| Diane B Carter |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 12:08:20 PM
I'm glad things are working out for you but do not let your guard down, at least not for a few years.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
| CherryMeDarlin |
Posted - May 08 2009 : 09:23:27 AM
Wonderful!
~~Cherry~~
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - May 07 2009 : 5:44:35 PM
Thanks, girls! I haven't been in this thread for a little while and I'm surprised you're still here! Well, he has a thick skull, alright. He changed his mind about the whole leaving the state thing and tried to hire an attorney. Several turned him down and one finally decided to take his case but only if he was willing to plea to a deal with the prosecutor. This attorney was not interested in going to trial with him. So, the deal is (all signed by everybody yesterday) he plead guilty to 2 counts of Disturbing the Peace, pays court costs on both, got 6 months jail on both and a total of 3 years probation. The jail time is suspended which means it's held over his head during the entire probation period and if he messes up, he can be sent to serve it all. Also, during the probation period, another No Contact Order was issued ordering he not enter this county for any reason. By putting it in the No Contact Order that means he can be arrested "on sight" if he's caught here in this county. So, will he really behave himself and stay away? Who knows. I want to let my guard down and live like I never knew him, but...not quite yet. Anyway, I really hope he finds somebody else soon who takes all of his attention so he'll forget about me. I really hate to wish him on somebody else, though.
But it is finally all over, now. He signed the papers, his attorney signed, the prosecutor signed and the judge signed. It is no longer possible to change his mind. It's done. I know, he didn't get a stalking conviction, but I am happy with this. I really wasn't after punishment; I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone. As long as he obeys the court, there won't be any more problems.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| KayB |
Posted - May 06 2009 : 11:24:24 AM
Good going, gal! I'm so glad that so far it is working out for you. Now if Mr. "Wonderful" gets it through his thick skull, you'll have it made. Keep your chin up and keep on trucking.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go |
| CherryMeDarlin |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 08:26:20 AM
Lisa, just read through this thread for the first time and WOW! you have so very much to be proud of! You will never encounter another situation where you may doubt your strength or perserverance. Now you know that you can survive anything!
I'm thrilled that you received the support and action from your local law enforcement needed to get this situation handled. That's not always the case in small towns.
I certainly hope this is totally resolved for you, but please don't let your guard down too much. You said several times that you feel like you're in the middle of a bad movie and you know what happens in those; just when you think it's all said and done, surprise!, it's not. I'm certainly not trying to diminish your victory or take away your peace of mind. I'm just asking that you continue to be vigilant and careful for a little while longer.
~~Cherry~~
"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy |
| Amie C. |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 07:06:24 AM
Lisa, I'm so glad it worked out! By the end of the week, he should be gone for good, right? |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - May 05 2009 : 06:00:19 AM
Hi Lisa, it's been a while since you started this topic and I wanted to know how you are doing. Still thinking about you.
(((hugs Lisa))))
Linda
in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
The Universe says: Speak abundance and act abundantly, no matter what, and an outpouring of the "stuff," far in
excess of what we could ever spend will come! |
| Miss2Missus |
Posted - May 03 2009 : 8:11:26 PM
i can see why you would divorce him since he's the type of person to be that much of a jerk. your anger is completely understandable. just take pride in knowing that he's out of your life.
Karen ^_^
http://apple-and-eve.blogspot.com/ |
| Michigan Girl in TX |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 3:52:03 PM
I am so happy for you! I knew they would all wake up and see this was becoming a serious problem. I hope he leaves soon and then you will have all of Idaho to yourself without having to worry about him!
Many hugs!
~Kristi
Farmgirl #474
"Grown men may learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure, and, therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss" ~Black Elk |
| nubidane |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 10:14:59 AM
Oh Lisa, I've been thinking about you all day today, as we had a Spring Fling at church & I did Frugal Farmgirl Back to Basics & wore your denim butt apron.. Everyone loved it & wanted to know where I got it. I told them my Farmgirl Friend in Idaho City!! I was praying all was well with you. Onward Farmgirls!! |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 06:54:04 AM
Corrine, I'm no smarter than anybody else, but thank you! I hope your situation improves soon and my prayers are with you. If you need to talk, you can email me anytime.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| BarefootGoatGirl |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 06:20:32 AM
lisa,
i havent been around here much, so i just now found this post. i'm happy to know that things are looking bright and sunny for you now. i am going through something similar, so i can really feel for you. i know that a smart farmgirl like yourself has a great future ahead of her.
corrine
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/
http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 05:59:32 AM
Oh Lisa, I wish I could! *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Apr 25 2009 : 05:56:33 AM
Alee, I'm not even going to worry about that stuff. I'm happy with what I got back and he can just live with the deeds he's done.
Cindy, you're missing a few zero's after that number! I feel like I just crawled out of a hole in the earth after the weight was lifted off me. I'm standing in the sunshine; grateful for and enjoying every second of it!
Thank you all for your support, healing thoughts and all the prayers on my behalf. Yes, I believe that is how I got through all this and why it all came out so well for me. It has been a long and rough 5 months.
I am planning a Thank You Barbeque on May 16 to thank everybody for all their help in keeping me safe. You all have certainly done your share, too, and if you're in the area or want to fly in...you are all welcome to come! Just let me know and I'll make arrangements to pick you up at the airport.
Love and bear hugs to all!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| Mother Hen |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 9:54:14 PM
Lisa, I'm so happy for you!!! What a relief, and more so when he leaves town. Congratulations, we are all so proud of you!!
I knew those prayers(that many of us were praying)would work!
You must feel 10lbs lighter at least
God Bless you,
Cindy
FARMGIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!
I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. Psalms 34:1 |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 6:59:45 PM
That is wonderful, Lisa! What about the property he stole from you?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 5:09:45 PM
The arraignment for the stalking charge against my ex this morning went wonderfully for me. I stayed out of the courtroom as I feared seeing me there could either set him off or he could take it as encouragement that I still care about him (his mind is that twisted). So, the Prosecutor (PA) asked me what I thought about setting up a jury trial date in the very near future and telling the ex that he can just leave the state and as a result of not showing up for his trial a very high-bond warrant would issue for his arrest. The PA said (and did) make it clear to the ex that since this charge he's facing, while serious, is a misdemeanor he cannot be extradited back to Idaho on this warrant. So, as long as he stays out of Idaho, he won't be arrested, but if he ever returns, the PA assured him that he would be picked up and put in jail and that he would spend a great deal of time there. The PA felt that convicting him and sending him to jail at this point would not do any good and that he would only come after me when he got out. He felt the best way to end this is to encourage him to leave the state and make the prospect of coming back very unpleasant for him. The charge is NOT dismissed and will stand on the books with an outstanding warrant for his arrest for many years as will the No Contact Order. So, if he ever decided to come back, I, and the police would then have "teeth" to deal with him.
The ex accepted the offer after it was explained several times, he waived his right to an attorney (he has too much money to be given a public defender and he doesn't want to spend it on one), to a reasonable period to prepare for trial and various other rights in order to set the trial date for May 7. The PA told him he had until then to leave the state OR be prepared for trial as he agreed because the judge said he would NOT continue this trial to a later date.
The No Contact Order says he must stay 100 ft from me personally and 300 yds from my home and the courthouse. This whole town is only about 300 yards long and wide! Which pretty much limits him to his apartment and any businesses out on the edge of town. Which means I can now go to the store and to work and to neighbors and out in my yard without fear of anything more from him. All the neighbors have been informed of this order. One of my neighbors stopped by a few minutes ago to tell me she drove by his apartment and he had several boxes out on his landing. Yay! I just might be lucky enough that he'll leave this weekend. He might as well. His favorite bar is less than 100 yards from my house. He's pretty much banned from the whole town.
So, I will finally have peace and be able to move on and heal! It's finally over. I think I'll grill me some salmon tonight to celebrate.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
| Alee |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 11:58:48 AM
That is so great, Lisa! I can't wait to hear the details! *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
| Lainey |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 11:29:55 AM
Big hugs Lisa!! So glad to hear it. Looking forward to hearing all the good details. I got out a bit ago too. It's so beautiful out today!
Farmgirl Sister #25
http://countrygirldreams.blogspot.com/
An Angel says, 'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.' |
| lisamarie508 |
Posted - Apr 24 2009 : 11:20:32 AM
The judge issued an indefinate No Contact Order! Will give you all the details after work. I spent most of my lunch hour out in my yard for a change. It was sooooo enjoyable. Later girls!
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
my blog:
http://lisamariesbasketry.blogspot.com/
My apron website:
http://lisamariesaprons.bravehost.com |
