| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Oct 24 2011 : 07:28:35 AM
With a good majority of people using facebook and other social networks (which I don't use), I often feel my friendships have dwindled (along with busyness). Does anyone else feel this way. I guess this is a whine today.
I often feel like my inbox is advertisements, FWD's or spam. I am not receiving true blue friendship conversations anymore. I really try to put balance in talking with friends and a balance with my chores/work/family life (even if it's via e-mail).
I guess I'm just feeling down today. Maybe it's just my allergy medicine, but it's been on my mind lately.
I've been praying for a friend who has a young pregnant daughter. The baby was due this month. I e-mailed last month with questions, and never heard back (one example). I know things can happen too, so I try not to over-dwell on it. And then again, maybe God plans to send me new friends.
Thanks for letting me whine a bit.....now back to washing laundry.
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| bvfarm |
Posted - Nov 16 2011 : 10:37:53 PM
I am really glad I found this too. Moving "out here" ...which is NOT that far from where I was...seems to have isolated me a bit. I attend distance ed school and am not working. I too feel that so many are so busy and really...seems they are simply uncomfortable to truly be real in another's presence anymore. Oh well. I love the pictures of Facebook, and to be able to share something cool or inspirational with several people at one time, but its no substitute. I find myself actually ignoring weird little things like when I long time friend instant messages me rather than calls. When I come to the computer during certain hours, its for business, not time-wasting instant messaging. I'm not really connecting or feeling anything. Its like when I was in the military and they would send out those stupid MEMORANDUMs (always in all caps, numbered, DRRRYYYYYY as heck)It takes so long and just distracts me from my original task, which I do NOT need any help w/distraction!
I also notice it goes with my lovely monthly cycle. Some days are way more lonlier than others. I watch as my guy's friends all stop by, but it takes an act of congress for my dear friends to do so. They are too busy cleaning , caring for the kids (so that their DH can be the one stopping by to visit w/my DH??) yup, thats griping for me. hear a resentment brewing, guess I need to shut this thing off & head to bed. I'm just grateful that K reached out and posted honestly and so many of you followed up. I relate so well!
So...NOW...we all have a solution somewhere in our hearts. Clearly we have identified the problem...any ideas anyone??
I'm game.
God is the only cure without sideeffects. Gratitude and Coincidence are His footprints. - CMV
I thank God for my handicaps for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God.
- HK |
| bvfarm |
Posted - Nov 16 2011 : 10:20:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by katmom
I hope our world never replaces human contact with impersonal validation.
I love this (not the point of it) - how it is said. tech, including this, is really such impersonal validation. So much of it can be completely misinterpreted without body language, tones of voice...
God is the only cure without sideeffects. Gratitude and Coincidence are His footprints. - CMV
I thank God for my handicaps for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God.
- HK |
| FarmDream |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 6:55:15 PM
...and I was just trying to find the "like" button for some of these posts...heehee
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
| sonshine4u |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 1:12:27 PM
Wow! I was just feeling this today about communicating with friends and family and stumbled upon this post. Ya'll have a lot of similar feelings as I do. I feel like we have all the tools in the world to be connected and we are all feeling as isolated as ever. It's hard to find times for us to connect with all our friends. The schedules are bonkers! So much going on that we have some friends we haven't seen (local friends, mind you) in years! It makes me sad. The world seems to be spinning out of control and no one is willing to stop the crazy cycle....except a few :)
I love MJF ladies, cause ya'll love sending real letters and sittin' on a porch shootin' the breeze and loving just the quietness of nature. I'm blessed by ya'll and thankful for such a great community of ladies who take the time to communicate beautifully!
Playing in the Sonshine
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| LuckyMommyof5 |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 11:50:10 AM
I agree - I am so thankful for MJF. Before I found the Farmgirl Connection I thought I was some oddball. I want to be with my kids and husband, enjoy nature, have pleasant conversations, laughter, etc and nearly everyone else I know in my area thinks I'm a nut. Here I feel like we all know the things that are good and important.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
| LucyLobo511 |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 07:56:41 AM
The only place I feel even remotely connected to another woman is on MJF.
Thank you all for being here. I do believe we are all here on purpose not by accident.
Dysfunctional families,unattached friends, busyness, unfriendly neighbors this world is such a weird place.
Insane and Blissfully Happy
Mari-lyn
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| smiley |
Posted - Nov 04 2011 : 05:04:42 AM
Brenda I have a friend who is retired now but when she worked her solution was to type the letter or message and instead of email she printed it off and sent copies of the same update to all of us. I guess the gist of all of this is if you really care about someone you will find a way to reach them and to reach out to the needs of others above our own.Natlie congrats on your baby! How exciting! Boy or girl? |
| YakLady |
Posted - Nov 03 2011 : 10:16:25 PM
Now that the birth of my baby is imminent, I actually had a girl I went to high school with for one semester message me on Facebook telling me that I suck for not telling her I was pregnant... Uhm, what? Sorry, but we don't talk. We don't email, or even message on FB unless she's telling me how she didn't get her invite to my wedding or that I should've told her I was pregnant... People are so strange sometimes, it drives me bonkers. Just because you're on someone's "Friend list" doesn't make you their friend or entitle you to anything. I think a lot of people feel a false sense of closeness just by having access to a FB page. The more I see of FB and how it changes people into mindless, addicted drones, the more I want to delete my account. Unfortunately, I do have a few great people I love on there, and they do read my blog and keep up with me through other mediums.
~Natalie~ Just a farmgirl in Western Montana. http://mtnme.blogspot.com
Starting a family and raising Tibetan Yaks, Nigerian Dwarf Goats, Laying hens, Muscovy ducks, and a few dogs. |
| brightmeadow |
Posted - Nov 03 2011 : 9:47:18 PM
On the other hand, I am frustrated by my relatives who refuse to use email. I am caught up in corporate life which demands twelve-hour days for corporate business, I only have so much time for personal correspondence or personal business or sleep. If they won't use email, I have to use snail mail which requires more manual effort.
I have only so much time to devote to work, home maintenance, food - refueling, exercise, and spiritual matters. I am impatient with relatives who refuse to use email, as it causes me expense, ie. postage, and time addressing envelopes. Most of these relatives actually have email available through family members but refuse to use it as a "protest" of some sort. OK, that's fine, but if they want to communicate with me, they will wait until I have time to deal with their method of communication.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com [ or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
| smiley |
Posted - Nov 03 2011 : 4:52:21 PM
Sometimes it feels as if our way of life is becoming extinct doesnt it? |
| LuckyMommyof5 |
Posted - Nov 03 2011 : 1:10:34 PM
We are the only ones in our extended family to not be on Facebook (we have no interest in participating) and we get a lot of grief about it from other family members. We even had one close family member's husband have a heart attack and we didn't find out about it for a week. Stunned, we asked why no one told us and immediately asked how he was doing - the answer was, "Weren't you following the updates on Facebook?" WHAT?!
I also find that a lot of my friends have been falling by the wayside lately. A lot of the friends I made when my oldest two daughters were little now have no kids at home during the day (because they are at school) and I do have small ones at home (and will have all of them when we start homeschooling). One of these mom "friends" actually told me she didn't want to get together with me anymore unless I got a sitter and we went out alone because she had decided she really didn't like being around kids anymore (which is sad, because she has two kids of her own - ages 9 and 7!)
As for chores, all my girls love pitching in and do so all summer long. Problem is, when school starts I don't get the oldest two back home at the end of the day until almost 4 pm and school actually gives them about an hour of homework every night (and they are only in 1st and 3rd grades!) By the time we do snack and sort everything out, they're doing homework until well after 5 every night. Then it's time for showers, dinner and then bedtime. No time for pitching in. That's another reason we're homeschooling - we could use our time efficiently, get all our learning and activities done and plan time for tackling chores together. If we can run our family more evenly, everyone would be happier and have more free time and less stress!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Nov 01 2011 : 08:18:52 AM
I agree, that most of my e-mails are from farmgirls from meeting here. They are very encouraging and very much appreciated.
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
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| dutchy |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 08:51:38 AM
I hear ya too. I was thinking just last week: MY email inbox is b o r i n g yawn  . I used to get more emails from friends but not anymore. Guess most are too busy with either FB or any other social media.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
http://pinkprincessdecorating.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me, my home and my crafts
Farmgirl sister # 2410 |
| ClaireSky |
Posted - Oct 31 2011 : 08:07:22 AM
"Amen" to that one Debbie, I couldn't agree with you more! I love having so many "sisters". They feel like family to me. I think that should be the next bumper-sticker. "FARMGIRLS MAKE GREAT SISTERS!!!!!!"
Julie
Farmgirl Sister #399
West-Central WI Farmgirls
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." Herman Cain |
| debbies journey |
Posted - Oct 30 2011 : 10:58:06 PM
I feel the same way too . And I would like to thank CJ and Debbie in Co for all
their e mails and kind words and encouragement when my husband was in the hospital
earlier this year. FARMGIRLS MAKE GREAT SISTERS!!!!!!!!!
Debbie |
| smiley |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 7:32:32 PM
Kristina this was a good thread! Seems many of us feel the same way and yet society would have us believe it is only us. I read an article that said phschologist now have a diagnosis of "clinical loneliness" caused by the social networking that is keeping people from face to face contact! We can only be consumed by it if we allow it. My 16 year is very unhappy we dont allow facebook. We did once and it turned dangerous. You cant be too safe this day and age. |
| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 07:01:46 AM
Thanks for all your input on this. I just can't get over a friend telling me that I need to be on facebook to continue a friendship. Limitations are good, but not when there is technically an ultimatum involved, to continue the friendship.
I miss the old-fashioned phone calls for sure.
When there are days I need to unload, I need a good friend to lean on. I know God comes first in my life, but there are days when a good friend just eases the pain.
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
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| FieldsofThyme |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 06:55:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by FarmDream
I think what I find most discouraging is the things people are "busy" with. I find a real imbalance in a lot of families and mom is having to do more than her fair share. Why are kids going to lots of activities but not helping to do chores and leaving it all for mom? Why is mom responsible for EVERYTHING? I know it's not true in all houses, I'm listing things I hear other women at work say. They work all day and then have to run errands and still make dinner, clean house, take kids here and there. They aren't even complaining about it. They say it like it's just the normal course of things. I, on the other hand, will always find time for a friend. I have the whole family doing their fair share so everything gets done and we have free time.
I would LOVE to see what Nini's advice on this.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com
I know what you mean about kids not doing chores and balance of what makes us busy.
For me, I have two teenage kids who work almost every day, and one who goes to school full time. My son takes care of the chickens, and my 3rd youngest dd takes care of the goats (completely). However, when they work, they cannot do their dish chores, nor even help me. My husband works every day, and often late nights and weekends. I don't use facebook, but write a blog. I spend most of my day caring for the home, meals, stocking up etc. I have very little free time, but I still keep up with those who keep up with me. I have much of my extended family that does not keep in touch at all during the year. Even after I have sent e-mails with asking how things are. Most of my busyness is caring for my family. I have very little time to volunteer outside the home, with the size of my family
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
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| sunshine7 |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 09:17:06 AM
Thanks Kristina for starting this topic.
I had the same feeling this morning. I don't feel hip like my girlfriends. We live out in the country, my topics of conversation include, chickens, cows, and gardening. Whilst they are talking about politics, town affairs, and real estate while looking on their ipads!
I haven't done Facebook as much, I find it impersonal and a good place to brag, or nag, or even dramatize the yuckey things happening in life. Close friends are the best, but life gets in the way!!! Our country lives are even diffrent to those that we live close to. I think my family is just old fashioned too!!! But it's good to be that way, writing letters, and taking life slow, people will crave that when the computers cost them thousands in shrink bills!!
CAN we start a letter chain somehow and the old fashioned ones can write letters to each other??? |
| magnoliakathy |
Posted - Oct 25 2011 : 10:08:50 AM
Just 2 days ago my 21 year-old granddaughter asked me if I thought social networking was a good thing. I told her no, it is too easy to lie about your self and you don't learn to deal with people if you can't see and learn to read body language. I do use FaceBook once a week, to see if any of my family has posted any new pictures, one of the nephews is in Malaysia and travels globaly so that is the only way to keep up with him, otherwise, FaceBook is a waste of time. I don't text, instant message, or tweet. I don't take unimportant cell calls when I am visiting with someone, the caller can leave voice mail and I get back to the later. Telephones,cellphones, and other forms of communication are a convenience not a necessity.
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
| batznthebelfry |
Posted - Oct 25 2011 : 08:29:33 AM
I am on Facebook but its to play Farmville...lol....I do have a few friends who are on it that I can at least read about to see how they are doing.....thank goodness for email though or I would never hear from the family ect who live in other states...but I so understand its hard to stay connected now a days even with all the new ways of doing it.....Plus it seems no one ever has the time to just come & visit unless they are wanting something or to use me as a sounding block.....I live in an area where everyone is my sons age (30's), no one in their 50's who really relates to me so yes I too get sad when I feel I am all alone...cause to be honest a 30 year old hasn't a clue to what I have done in my 50+ years.....nor do they seem to understand the concept of just talking without it having to really mean anything.....I think thats why I so want to go home where my friends i will be near are my age & get the 'lets sit & have coffee' idea....& I hate the phone..I have an answering machine which I may remember to listen to but most often forget..the only reason I have one is for the hubby & his military...otherwise I would be happy without one....but saying that I do love hearing my sisters or sons voice occassionally....Like said above this seems to be my place here on MJ for feeling like I connect & others understand me...thank goodness for all you hens!...Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
| levisgrammy |
Posted - Oct 25 2011 : 06:26:08 AM
I get letters from one of my aunts, my parents on rare occasion and my pen pals through this forum. And some those have dropped down to two that I actually hear from. Face Book has definitely taken over but my dd who lives in Ohio calls me sometimes and I her so we can hear each others voices and the baby can hear me too. She is not talking yet but she loves to hear someone on the phone. I do text but on very rare occasion and only to my children. We are empty-nesters so there is no longer the amount of work there used to be here at home. I work part time and I love it because it gets me out and interacting with people. It does get lonely and I so cherish the letters I get from my pen pals.
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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| texdane |
Posted - Oct 25 2011 : 06:07:01 AM
I hear ya! Twenty years ago, I moved across country to the Northeast. I have a big box of letters I have saved from friends and family. Email ruined that. I don't really get letters anymore, save for the two dear pen pals I've got from here. Then Facebook came around. Facebook has squashed email, in my opinion. I have "friends" that won't communicate any other way. Or by text message. I love a good, "old-fashioned" phone call or letter. So much more personal. I recently read an article in the old-fashioned newspaper, in Parade magazine, that therapists were worried about today's youth and teens. Many kids are saying that they "don't know what they are feeling without texting or tweeting it first." They say children are growing up emotionless and without compassion. An "I'm sorry" is not as meaningful when texted as when you see the person's face and expression in direct conversation. Scary!
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
| Okie Farm Girl |
Posted - Oct 25 2011 : 05:43:18 AM
Natalie, I so understand what you are saying. Not one of my family members reads my blog and very few of my friends do. I have made a whole new batch of friends from the blog with whom I acutally feel connected. FB, well, it's just turning into a bunch of short comments that mean nothing. I enjoy seeing people's pictures, though, and I think that is the blessing of FB. Even with all the technology we have today, I feel less connected to my family then when I lived in NE Texas on a 17 mile long ranch with no neighbors. I talked with family on the phone all the time. Now, I am afraid to call because I am always interrupting something.
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
| naturemaiden |
Posted - Oct 25 2011 : 04:42:38 AM
same here....i'm sick of facebook. even my 'family' seems to busy. facebook seems full of drama most times, and i hate that. i dont find i have much in common with most people on it anyway. i do enjoy coming to this forum however. I feel i belong here :)
my dear friend came over the other day and we actually went for a walk..how refreshing it was to get out of the house! she doesnt believe in computers so she doesnt go on one at all.
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ - Soap & Candle
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ -My Personal Blog
http://www.prairiefarmherbs.com/ -Herb Plants for the Home Garden
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ -My Online Thrift Shop
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