| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| sherrye |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 08:04:22 AM
i spent yesterday running. doing things papa always does. as i went i spoke with lots of different women. our story is different and yet the same. for me-- being disabled requires special needs. with papa gone it is WAY harder. moving cows and doing chores and milking and budget and shopping and and and and...sometimes i feel i shall fall down crying and never get up. my cup is over flowing with good. BUT dang this is hard. so during the big war woman had to step up. i believe we are in the situation again.if the men are unemployed for a long time some just check out mentally. some drink some are abusive. MANY have hit the road for work. AMERICA is on the move. behind me across from me down the road and on it goes the woman are alone. we are learning to hone those farmgirl skills. making fences or fixing the faucet. saving money making do. how is it for you. yesterday 4 woman including me cried together. our bones ache our hearts hurt and we do what is right in front of us and keep going. at least he is drawing a check. well gotta go milk 3 cows and feed 25 head of stock and sort produce bins. i have a home i am safe. i am loved and supported. it is just a big life. i did ride tatoo the other day. it was just like drugs. it felt so good to be on his back. he was the gentlemen he is known to be. happy days here everyday. i hope this is not a downer. i believe many of us are doing this alone right now. i know how hard it is first hand. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| sherrye |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 11:45:00 AM
i am still hanging margaret, LOL going to go get the meat today. probably 700 pounds. yikes. we will see. any way i love this thread. so any plumbing going on girls. my toilet started leaking where it bolts to the tank. took a flash light and a few tries with different wrenches. then i got it. not dripping now. it felt good solving it. happy days to you sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| MEWolf |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 09:24:18 AM
Hang in there Sherrye!
Margaret
“Kind hearts are the gardens, kind thoughts are the roots, kind words are the flowers, kind deeds are the fruits. Take care of your garden and keep out the weeds, fill it with sunshine, kind words and kind deeds.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1808-1882)
Farmgirl #3020
www.grey-wolf-farm.com |
| sherrye |
Posted - Oct 28 2011 : 07:36:56 AM
i am not wanting to beat a dead horse on this thread. BUT papa now is going to hermiston oregon for work. we need it. well i am missing him big time today. you all are so strong to do this day in and out over and over with out your man. its a little warmer now. that is good. today will be a day of driving i think. i need to pick up my meat still from the butcher. i hope you girls are having a fine day sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| sherrye |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 08:56:11 AM
well today i have to say i am thinking we need to rethink our life style. financially i think it is going to stay hard to survive in america. i am honestly thinking of moving into a 5th wheel. papa will have retirement SSI in 14 months. holding up the farm is breaking us. i love what we do. i am just thinking the place has NO value in this market. it would be a walk away deal. maybe it is time to do a new adventure. it would take a year at least to move all our stuff gone sold given away etc.so a lot on my mind today. not bad just thinking things through. i would sure like to be some where warmer in the winter months. 2 nights ago it was 13 then next night 10. brrr way cold. anyway anyone living in a 5th wheel now? i could then go with papa when he does work away. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| BarefootGoatGirl |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 7:48:33 PM
I love this post! A lot of times I feel like I'm the only one doing this alone. Even when I was married, I was pretty much left to fend for myself and my kids. Now I'm working on putting our world back together and getting us back onto a homestead. Some days I really do miss having a man in my life, but in my long term view of the future I just can't see where one would fit in.
www.muddyprincess.wordpress.com
www.barefootfashion.wordpress.com
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| sherrye |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 6:32:49 PM
amen jonni, what a fine post. it is great to be a part of the farm spirit. getting things done when we rather not. today lisa and i took hazel and cripple cow maudie out to pasture. they are jerseys. i traded maudies keep for a year for her calf she will have in spring. so 2 cows out. now i am hoping maddie is sold for beef. then millie will go. i will have 2 jerseys here if penny gets well and my heifers bred back for spring. maudie is a jersey that is knock kneed. i saved her. she is a sweet cow. so this is good for her. getting a crippled cow in a horse trailer was tricky. we did it and were very amazed at ourselves. LOL oh megan so sorry about your father in law. jennifer all the way to the antartica. all you woman make me proud. well i have cow poop all over me. so time to get clean from milking. have a fine night all you amazing woman. lets add some daily stories here of what you are stepping up doing right now. like me loading maudie. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| FebruaryViolet |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 11:30:06 AM
I grew up in a house where my father was gone 9 months out of the year with the horse racing industry. He was generally home for the winter season, December, January, February, and would come home, when he could, from West Virginia, Southwestern Kentucky, Delaware, Arizona, Arkansas, Louisiana...you name it, he worked there. I never really thought much about his being gone all the time because my mother, bless her, was such a great mom. The greatest mom a child could ever ask for. It also never occurred to me how difficult this must have been on her because she never complained. Ever. She worked full time, managed to take me to and from school (2 counties away to better schools), took a late lunch hour to take me to ballet classes everyday and picked me up at 10:00 at night to do it all over again the next day (and the next, and the next...). She also managed to keep the time Daddy was home very special--date nights, and concerts together, dinner out and good time with family and friends. When something broke, she either fixed it herself, or called someone to do it. But gosh, as a kid, it never occurred to me that she might have been lonely, or if she needed an "adult" to talk to. Those were the days of high long distance and no cell phones, so he only called once a week. I'm a grown woman now, with a husband and child, and I get lonely and he's in the house! When Daddy died, I was 19--and true to his nature, he was working away in Arizona, in Tuscon. Mom said she dealt with his death for the longest time as if he was just "away, working." It broke my heart, honestly.
Mom was raised by a single mother--my grandfather was a drunk, and bailed on the family when she was a wee thing, and my Great Grandfather was long dead, so she grew up around strong women, with absolutely no men around, and the traditional roles of women in the 40's and 50's got blurred because of necessity, whether it was taking in wash and ironing to feed the family, or working outside the home in an airplane factory. I was blessed to have my grandmother and great grandmother for a large part of my life and I've never heard them complain about what they had to do.
But, women are the mother's of invention--and necessity. You do what has to be done, when it needs to be done, no matter how tired, no matter how poor, or whether you're feeding 200 head of cattle, or 2 toddlers.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
| SusanScarlet |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 11:00:37 AM
Michele - While many of us have traveling husbands, few of them are in a war zone. Please exend our thanks to him for his service to our country.
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| MEWolf |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 09:20:05 AM
As I sit here and type it is snowing, our first real snowstorm since we moved to Colorado this summer. I have already fed the horses and donkeys; mucked out the barn and most of the corral; and put blankets on a couple of our guys who do not grow heavy winter coats. Hubby is in Chicago this week. He called me this morning to see how we fared last night and how much snow we have gotten. This morning I am feeling so blessed, we were able to complete all the major projects in the last few weeks, so things are easier for me when he is gone.
I love reading about all of us strong Pioneer spirited women, who keep the home fires burning when our loved ones are away.
I raise my cup of coffee in toast to all of you!
Margaret
“Kind hearts are the gardens, kind thoughts are the roots, kind words are the flowers, kind deeds are the fruits. Take care of your garden and keep out the weeds, fill it with sunshine, kind words and kind deeds.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1808-1882)
Farmgirl #3020
www.grey-wolf-farm.com |
| Betty J. |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 09:18:23 AM
Jennifer, I'll bet you will be glad to see your man come home from McMurdo. Being on your own for so long will make it an adjustment, but he has done a lot for the family. Too bad he couldn't have hitched a ride with that ill woman (heart attack, I believe), then he would have been home sooner.
Keep a strong heart,
Betty in Pasco |
| queenmushroom |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 09:06:48 AM
Sherrey, You are an amazing woman. Even though my dh is a farmer, he also does work off the farm. That leaves me to stack our winter wood (including unloading the truck), any type of work that I can do in the garage without help or supervision(painting, etc), mowing lawns (ours and mil's), "weeding" blueberry grounds, mowing blueberry grounds (with riding lawnmower), raking hay, tedding hay on top of my household word and a job outside and raising a 4 yo son. And if that sounds like alot, I'm his "right hand man" when he is home. No you are not alone in your struggle to make a go of it. Take care
Lorie |
| sherrye |
Posted - Oct 26 2011 : 08:21:34 AM
bump i thought i would post again here papa will be home hopefully by monday. i reread some of the posts. i am still moved by all you who have absent husbands. he has been gone WAY TOO long for this farmgirl. we have been 13 degrees these last few nights. makes chores a lot harder. i will put the tank heaters in today. we thaw to about 50 in the day. kris was saying how she had been sooo busy when her man was home for 5 days. they worked fixing things. that is how it will be here too. plus i have not picked up our meat yet either. it is a big job. when thinking back on last year when he worked away, this is about how long we can stand it. then we need to see each other. wondering how you all are? have things changed for any of you? any other guys home other than kris and me? kris i know he is probably gone now. i hope you all your list done? how are the bucks? hoping everyone is doing good on a cold fall morning. hope you have a happy day sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| markandfawn |
Posted - Oct 03 2011 : 6:35:06 PM
I have to do everything on my own. I have 3 children at home and 7 children total. The ones taht are home are 2, 8 and 21 so I do have some help now from my oldest daughter. My husband is an over the road truck driver and because we own our own truck he is gone 6 weeks and home 1 week. We have been doing this for 22 years. I wouldnt know what it was like to actually live with him. The kids and I have a system that works for us. We do what we have to do and keep on doing. We consider ourselves grateful that we get to see him once every six weeks...as there are so many women with military husbands that are away for 2 years at a time. You can do anything that you put your mind to. |
| mountaingirl |
Posted - Oct 02 2011 : 06:58:21 AM
My husband took a job in Antarctica to support us and provide medical insurance and has been gone since February. I've shoveled snow, fixed cars, learned about washing machines and wells, etc., etc., etc.. A friend of mine said she felt like God was actively cultivating Warrior Women for a specific reason. Not sure I agree but I do know that I feel a little more capable now than I did eight months ago. He's supposed to fly out of McMurdo tomorrow but a storm has blown in so it's kind of iffy. Even with being proud of all of my new skills and strengths I'll sure be glad to see that big man commin' off the plane!
Have your heart right with Christ and He will visit you often, and so turn weekdays into Sundays, meals into sacraments, homes into temples and earth into heaven.
~Charles Spurgeon
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| walkinwalkoutcattle |
Posted - Oct 01 2011 : 07:44:35 AM
My husband works full time AND farms-which means he's hardly ever home. With an 8 month old it makes things really difficult-sometimes it's like she hardly knows who he is it seems. He just lost his stepdad last week, so things are somber around here right now.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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| sherrye |
Posted - Oct 01 2011 : 07:10:18 AM
yes amy i agreee. i am inspired each time i come here and read a new post. i think of the woman with their aprons on getting things done when the man was gone. in our family we have the story of grandpa walker. they were sooooo hungry. honest hard working at least willing to work folks. deep depression. he was in a store and stole a sack of potatoes to feed my mama and her sisters. when things turned around he went back and paid for those potatoes. they were crop pickers and lived in the camps with the chinese. mama tells stories of the barn dances they would have. grandpa played the guitar. she said she felt loved and cared for. hard times the woman were picking the kids were picking the men were either gone or picking. when i get scared of this economy and where we are headed i remind myself of those stories. i know we all have some. where our strength comes from. i have to say i love gone with the wind. i love my land. i shall deal with the bigger thing tomorrow today i just need my tara. well our vet jake is coming to borrow tables for a winter festival. i am going later. meant to have a booth. well with the man gone i learn my limitations fast. no booth this year. i shall stop by and say howdy. hoping to hear more folks stories. my computer is breaking. so if i am off awhile i am still kicking dirt. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| farmmilkmama |
Posted - Oct 01 2011 : 04:50:01 AM
What an inspiring post! Just goes to show that you can't bring a farmgal down. My hubby works in law enforcement, but because of his current schedule and our living situation, he's gone 4-7 days at a time and comes home on his days off. But even then his days off aren't for sure because he can always get called in by the dive team or the swat team or (used to be) the fire dept. I can't tell you how many times we've been in the middle of some project and he just hast o leave (no choice at all) and I get to finish. :) You get used to doing things yourself...and you survive. Thanks SherryE for pointing out that during the war, that was normal for women to do. The guys were gone, the women had to step up and that's just the way it is. Thank goodness we are a bunch of gals who can still do that. I'm not sure that everyone nowadays could. (I can think of a few female relatives who whine when asked to change a lightbulb...)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
| sherrye |
Posted - Sep 30 2011 : 7:22:23 PM
well just got off the phone with papa. he got his high blood pressure meds today. so now i can relax. i was so worried he would go without. you know he leaves that to me usually. i sure miss him. it is so great to even have a phone and can talk to him. i am so encouraged from all the posts. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| FarmDream |
Posted - Sep 29 2011 : 2:41:01 PM
I'm so impressed with everyone's abilities. I'm a lucky one and DH is home everyday. In fact he only works out of the house about 4 hours a day. But we are always working on how to do things and fix things. Youtube is one of our biggest teachers. I'm always worrying that the economy is going to fail and we'll lose everything, so I study up on edible local plants so no matter what we won't go hungry.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
| Ingrid |
Posted - Sep 29 2011 : 07:39:26 AM
Mine is away two weeks and home two weeks and switches each time from days to graveyards. He used to be away 21 days and home 8 days with two days of travel. It is tough when they are gone but we talk everyday by phone even if it is just to say good night. I try not to have too many projects for him when he is home so he does take time to relax. Fortunately, I am able to be at home and not work so the time he is here is spent together. Until two years ago I worked full time and that was more difficult because we were always trying to cram time in together and then we would stress about it. I would still love to have him home every night but also realize this being away isn't for forever either.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
| Fiddlehead Farm |
Posted - Sep 29 2011 : 06:18:46 AM
What is that saying I read the other day? A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong they are until they are in hot water.
I find this thread very inspiring. All of you women are amazing! Sending a big hug to each one of you.
My DH is active duty air force and has been gone for months a couple of times over the last few years. Funny thing about our situation is he is not very handy around the house. I am the handy man in the family! He is the brains and the technical support while I am the fixer and the doer. It is still hard having him gone. He retires in June of 2012 after 28 years and will be driving a long haul semi truck. So I better get used to his absence. We are still looking for our farmland. Which means I will be in some of your shoes if we ever find it. We just want to be more self-sufficient. It is nice to have so many kindred souls on this forum. God bless you all!
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Don't go with the flow...you are the flow.
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
| sherrye |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 9:19:57 PM
i am so impressed with all these posts. what a fine group of woman. this is happeing all across the states and even other countries. we have marian in the netherlands. single woman and married making do. kris i am sad for you 53 days. wow that is so little time with him. yes i agree classes would be nice. i drug a rabbit hutch out of a pile of wood today. the tractor helped till i got to the barn. it took hours of rebuilding it then trying to get it in. i finally got the saw and chopped the legs off. LOL then with muscle i pushed shoved and got it in. now my back says ouch. all your stores are a testament to woman. for you with men at war i send my love and prayers. it is a hard thing you do. i hope this thread runs awhile. i hope more share their stories. i agree it is harder now that i am older. everything i do takes sooooo much longer to get done. papa has a saying If you dont like this speed you sure wont like my other speed. if i am going forward its good. thanks again for all the inspiration and heart warming stories. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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| kristin sherrill |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 8:52:41 PM
My husband drives a truck. Has for about 18 years now. When we did our taxes this past Jan. he figured up he was only home about 53 days last year. So yeah, I do it mostly all by myself here. ut the animals are all my idea.
I was just thinking the other day that someone needs to have a class for women like me who want to learn how to do things like fix a faucet or build a shed. I so want to learn more things. The big things, like broken down things, have to wait for hubby to come home to fix them. Or I have to hire someone to fix them. It is hard at times. But at least mine does get to come home.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
| acairnsmom |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 3:38:13 PM
Sherrye, this post is far from being a downer! I find it uplifting truth be told. You ladies are amazing! Right now I feel abundantly blessed, we both have work (at the same office!)we bought a house in our new state while still retaining our old one. But I feel for everyone of you who are struggling. Up until 3 years ago I was in the same boat, DH un/under employed, I wasn't working and we had to make do with what we had. DH frequently went out of the area for work so I was left to tend to the home, yard, car...you know the drill. He has worked from Massachussets to Alaska. Sometimes he was gone for a few days, sometimes for 6 months straight. During his absence I learned plumbing, electrical, some rough carpentry. I am thankful we had to go through all of that because it has helped me see that you don't need all the stuff the world says you need. I'm still drivng my 1997 Expedition, my clothes are from the thrift, we eat at home now not in a restaurant.
Because we have abundance now, we are trying to help others who are still struggling. DH frequently needs to hire people and we are amazed how many people we know from our old hometown turn him down for a job offer becaue they don't want to travel 90 miles for work. They'd rather sit at home and wait for someone to come rescue them where they are and not have to go looking for help. But your DH's are a testiment that the old ethics are still alive today. They are men who still feel the need to provide for their families and you their wives step up and take care of the homefront. Ladies I salute you! We can be a strong bunch when we need to.
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
| Lieberkim |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 1:56:53 PM
I'm blessed to be married to a farmer! He's here but not really available. Right now it's harvest so he's going non stop from 3am to 8 or 9 pm, sometimes later. The pressure is on so although he wants to he can't be here for us. Some things need to be installed, built, fixed and it's not going to happen till after harvest because I'm tool challenged. :) But I'm also blessed because he has a job, he's home for most all meals and every night he's asleep beside me instead of in a war zone. We have all our needs met and then some which a lot of people can't say today. I do understand the fatigue and mental anguish though as I'm doing all the livestock chores, homeschooling, preserving food and trying to stay on top of everything. And I know what it feels like to live apart as we did while he was working here before we moved here.
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
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