| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| 1badmamawolf |
Posted - Apr 10 2010 : 09:06:12 AM
There is so much to tell about our lost loves...I think starting this thread about those stories will help some of us towards healing, and others, what it will be like...I think we should start out with how we met our men...then our weddings...the birth of our babies...the funny stories,the romantic stories and the sad stories...
As for me...it has been almost 3 yrs , and I miss him so much that it hurts,I miss him every second of every hour of everyday, 365 days a year, a chunk of me died with him. I will step in every so often and tell my stories.
P.S. if this offends you, then just don't read it!!!
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jan 23 2015 : 11:26:25 AM
Hugs going your way Ashely.
I agree, this is a wonderful topic.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| sow.hoe.growfarms |
Posted - Jan 21 2015 : 09:30:18 AM
Teresa,
THANK YOU! I needed your post. My situation is a little different as my childhood sweet heart and best friend into my twenties is still alive, but he has been gone from my life for 6 years now. We had a terrible falling out, one of which I cannot deny is more then likely irreparable. For the last 6 years I have found alternative ways to cope with the loss, nearly shutting all the pleasant and the not so pleasant memories out.
Recently my husband found himself working with my friend. When my husband mentioned this to me it tilted my world. The memories that I had spent so much time shutting out suddenly rushed to the surface.
I have been seeing a counselor for several weeks now. Apparently, when we humans suffer a traumatic event we are capable of shutting out the memory; a survival mechanism of sorts. When something or someone reminds us of the traumatic event the memory moves through its victim like a run away train. Unfortunately I have used this coping mechanism for quite some time; I mastered the skill growing up as our home was closer to a nuclear facility on the verge of a meltdown. The memory of my friend tripped my trigger and has allowed for bits and pieces to trickle in.
Sure I could sit here and be mad. I could be really mad at myself for shutting down, for not coping, and for feeling now what I should have years before... but I have to imagine I remembered because I am stronger now. Because I am better prepared as an adult then I was as a child. My parents behavior wasn't my fault. I can either be them or learn from their mistakes - I want to learn. Because I understand that while I had a falling out with my friend, and it rippled through our circle of friends leaving me feeling ousted and alone, I'm not alone. I have an amazing husband, who has an ability to be my light in the darkest of places. I want to make new friends. I want to be more forgiving. I want to pick my head up again and smile, even if the world doesn't smile back. I want to heal.
I am grieving the loss of my friend. At one time I thought I would like to tell my friend I'm sorry, but the truth is saying I'm sorry would be opening up an old wound and filling it with salt. If I ever see my friend again, I will smile and say hello.
Thank you for touching on this subject Teresa. Thank you to all of you wonderful girls for sharing. Your posts gave me the courage to do the same. ;-)
Thank you Mary Jane for making this a safe place to share!
"A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people." F.D.R |
| Calicogirl |
Posted - Jan 16 2015 : 11:55:37 PM
Bump
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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| delsgirl |
Posted - Aug 15 2014 : 4:22:32 PM
I wish they would too, we all need to stick together and kind of "watch over" one another. I was absent just because of "life", I guess, as I stated above, was trying to sell my house, had both knees replaced, then did finally sell and moved back to my hometown. I have missed MJF so much, but didn't realize how much until just recently!
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| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Aug 15 2014 : 11:25:57 AM
LOL, Patty...I wish all the ladies who were posting on this thread would come back and let us know how thay are doing, it seems they all quit at about the same time the lady who started this thread did, they were all some very strong women...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| thebyrdhaus |
Posted - Aug 15 2014 : 11:17:17 AM
Subject: : “Frank Feldman”
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.
He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just
like Frank.
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time.
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to
Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won
the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced
like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really
special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday.
He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like
me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could doeverything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I
always seem to get stuck in them.
But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always
immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake.
No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his widow..."
Patty #1840
http://ladygonegreen.blogspot.com/
A rind is a terrible thing to waste. Compost.
When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”
-Jesus in John 6:12 NIV Bible |
| thebyrdhaus |
Posted - Aug 13 2014 : 7:40:49 PM
As I read through these post, though they are dated some time ago, my heart goes out to those who have lost a love one. I too lost a spouse. He passed away of cancer almost 11 years ago. I have since remarried, but there is not a day goes by that I do not think of him and miss him terribly. He was my soulmate and at times I feel his presence. I dream of him often and believe God gives us dreams of lost loved ones as a gift so that we may visit with them again.
Patty #1840
http://ladygonegreen.blogspot.com/
A rind is a terrible thing to waste. Compost.
When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”
-Jesus in John 6:12 NIV Bible |
| delsgirl |
Posted - Aug 07 2014 : 9:15:02 PM
So glad you brought this back up Tina, I haven't been on this thread for a couple of yrs., in fact, haven't been on MJF for a few years! I am happy to report that after two yrs. of trying to sell my home in Cheney, I was able to do just that, and move back to my hometown of Enumclaw, Wa., and into the same house my late dh and I shared, that was almost two yrs. ago. I went back to work for the same company I worked for before moving, was there apx. a year and a half, and retired the end of April. Sometimes you learn that life is just too short. I keep busy working in my yard, with my flowers, closer to family, have re-connected w/old friends and co-workers and in general am loving life. The five year anniversary of my late dh is coming up in November......there isn't a day that goes by without missing him, still, and sometimes think "why did that happen", but am a firm believer that he, and God, have bigger things in store for me. I so hope all of you are doing well, and those of you that might be new, take words of comfort from all that have posted on here. Marly, I'd really like to know how Teresa is doing!! |
| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Aug 02 2014 : 7:17:20 PM
I tracked this thread down, and am bumping it up, I think there are a few ladies that might need this thread...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jan 06 2012 : 07:41:21 AM
Michele:
I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Your good news is wonderful. Your new house sounds delightful. I wish I lived in your neighborhood; maybe I could learn to bake. LOL
I'm also happy to see you again on this Thread. Have a great day.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| vintagediva1 |
Posted - Jan 06 2012 : 07:25:23 AM
Hi Ladies,
I know I haven't posted in ages, but thought I'd let you all know what has been happening in my life. Some of you will remember that my DH's brother was trying to cheat me out of the buyout he had agreed to from the business he and my hubby owned together. Long story short, he paid me nothing for 3 years (my only source of income) I sued him but he is a very slippery devil and good at hiding things so that went nowhere. Now he has decided to pay me about 1/3 of the money monthly. My house was foreclosed on and I was in real mess.
Now, here's the good news part.... After a lot of prayer I left my house which may or may not be sold in a short sale so I might be able to salvage some of my credit (oh, well) I found a very nice little manufactured home in a community about 12 miles from where I lived. They agreed to finance, even with my stinky credit, and I moved in in October>
I Absolutely LOVE living here. My house looks over some woods. It is very peaceful and my neighbors are friendly. A pleasant change from where I used to live. It a nice neighborhood with people of all ages and it is just great. I am fixing up my little house sort of Cottagey with lots of thrift shop finds. The kitchen is terrific and I've been cooking up a storm. All of my family was here for Christmas and we had a great time.
The Lord has used it all for good. I am really happy here and hope to start teaching some of the teenage girls in the neighborhood knitting and baking.
Michele
www.2vintagedivas.etsy.com
www.sissyandsisterstitch.etsy.com
www.dreamingofspringtime.etsy.com
Love that good ole vintage junk |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Jan 04 2012 : 8:46:10 PM
Alanna, thank goodness your kids were safe, and by now, there is a new furnace installed!! I am so sorry for your loss....4 mos. isn't all that long ago, hope you managed alright over the holidays.....this is a wonderful thread, have you read it all the way through?? Teresa was truly, so much inspiration and is filled with nothing but positive thoughts and love. She once told me "it doesn't get easier, but it gets better" (think I've got that right), and it does take some time, but things do get better and each one of us is individual in how we deal with this sort of thing.I am so glad to see others responding to this thread, and some of us jumping on again, it does the heart good!
live, laugh, love |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jan 04 2012 : 5:48:30 PM
Alanna:
I'm so glad your son and his girlfriend are okay. I do believe angels were watching and protecting. I'm sending you a hug. I hope your days get better.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| Alanna Neupert |
Posted - Jan 04 2012 : 07:04:17 AM
Dear Grace-Good morning from the farm! You stated you raised 2 children by yourself, it must have been hard for you. I just started on this journey of widowhood Aug 23, 4 months ago. I'm like to think that I'll be happy again, to be able possibly to share my life with someone down the road. At nite, as you probably know it's the worst. Wind howling across the snow covered fields and roads. Yesterday, I cryed all day. My son stopped in the morning to tell me that overnite the furnace overheated and smoke was billowing all thru the house and he never smelled it. He is a very heavy sleeper, but his girlfriend did. They had 8 firetrucks at the house and all of that commotion to get all of the smoke out of the house. The furnace was ripped out and there will be a new one put in today. Thank God that everyone is okay and that they weren't overcome by the smoke. They must had angels looking over them, I believe. Going to go through my clothes today and take the extras to Good-Will! |
| grace gerber |
Posted - Jan 03 2012 : 08:10:44 AM
Alanna you are not alone on this - last night it is Cream of Wheat for me with a pear. It is hard at times to get up the excitement to cook just for yourself but I have learned to be kind to myself and not let that get me down. I figure that Cream of Wheat is a heck of a lot better for my body and budget then eating something prefabed from the dollar menu at some fast food. Be kind to yourself and don't judge yourself. One lesson that is complicated is to build a new life by your needs, wants and dreams and not what others say it should be. I am here for you - it has been 15 years since my husband passed and I build a whole new life here and raised my two sons by myself. Now I am considering a whole new adventure maybe in a far away land, Cream of Wheat and all.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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| Bear5 |
Posted - Jan 03 2012 : 08:05:20 AM
Hi Alanna:
Happy to see you posted on this thread. A dog name Angel. How sweet. Happy New Year to you.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| Alanna Neupert |
Posted - Jan 02 2012 : 10:13:31 PM
Happy New Year to all of the farmgals! Well I'm struggling along got Thanksgiving over with- C& C allday! Cooked and cryed,did 2 whole turkeys and alot of the sides. Christmas evening and day I just went thru the motions of the holidays. My husbands birthday was on Dec 22, so that was a emotional day,too. I'm trying to keep busy as I can with my new normal life. I can't believe that I have lost my desire to cook- last nite's supper was oatmeal with home canned peaches. I thought it was good, but thank goodness I didn't have company, people might think that I'm really loosing it. I did make homemade dinner rolls for Christmas eve dinner and they turned out great! I baked them on a stone baking pan. Well hope everyone is keeping warm, I've got a Dr. appt tomorrow and I have to venture out. Love from the farm, Alanna and my dog Angel! |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jan 02 2012 : 8:21:31 PM
Suzie, I will give Teresa the message. Thanks. I miss her so much. She surely helped me a lot when my pets were not feeling well. Every thing she told me to do worked. Teresa should have been a writer, which one could see, as Suzie put it, "so much inpiration and love in the words she wrote". I agree. What a loss. I did mention to one of the MJF about missing her so. I won't share the response because I really did not understand what she exactly was referring to. But- she and I have remained very close.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| cheneygal |
Posted - Jan 02 2012 : 4:12:13 PM
Didn't she start a wonderful thread?? I would love to see her come back as well, so much inspiration and love in the words she wrote. Hope you all had a good New Year......Marly, please give Teresa our love.
live, laugh, love |
| oldbittyhen |
Posted - Jan 02 2012 : 1:33:49 PM
does anyone know why Teresa (1badmamawolf)is no longer posting, after reading her posts and her starting this thread, I would love to see her come back and post again...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Jan 01 2012 : 11:49:01 AM
Anna: I agree, this thread is wonderful. Thanks for posting to it. Hope your New Year was great.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| marthajane |
Posted - Jan 01 2012 : 09:58:36 AM
Well thank you Marley-that shows love that you can express such tenderhearted comments.
I just always wondered what "to visit orphans and widows" meant...and by reading through this topic I see that it is perhaps talking about listening, caring, doing acts of empathy, and mostly just being there...not letting a person feel all alone and deal with such tremendous loss as if there is no one else who loves them.
Happiness IS being a MOM |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Dec 31 2011 : 2:26:00 PM
Anna, I am glad that you stumbled upon this topic. It pains me to read the grief you all are going through. I do know one has to go through the grief. And- you are so right, we should all minister to the widows, especially at this time of the year. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
| marthajane |
Posted - Dec 31 2011 : 2:20:07 PM
New Years Greetings. I found this stumbled on it. Wanted to thank ladies for helping me understand something.
Thanks for sharing your pain on here...this is why the Bible says pure religion is visiting widows-THAT's REAL LOSS and PAIN
I feel it too...wishing there was more I could do.
Praying for your hearts and for ways to minister as you grieve.
ps I have woken up crying out loud too...more than once
Happiness IS being a MOM |
| Bear5 |
Posted - Dec 31 2011 : 12:04:00 PM
Thoughts and prayers to all the "widow women" of MJF. I often think of all of you and wonder how you all are doing. I haven't lost a spouse, but I have lost my parents, a sister, a nephew. Happy New Year to all of you.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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