| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Nov 03 2009 : 08:17:21 AM
Hi sisters,
I really need some feedback about this....I am divorced...and wonder now if I can have a partnership with a man.
I'm dating a man that I dated several years ago...we saw each other only a few months and I fell so hard for him back then (never felt that way before or since). He stopped by to say hi a couple times in the last 4 years and now we are back "together" and he's somewhat cold to me but also wanting to move in together and talking marriage. He is 62 yrs old and I am 59....we agree we enjoy each others company and we want a com0panion for life. The problem is he is cold to me and acts like I am a friend with no deep feelings for. I am also tired of being criticized. yuk....of course it's not always bad and for the most part I really enjoy being around him.
I wake up now every night with memories of things he said and feeling like I don't want to spend my life with someone so cold and who seems to not even care about me.
I had oral surgery yesterday and he drove me there and back home but didn't want to do anything else for me...I kidded him about being my nurse now..and he was far from caring. Maybe he is just too selfish...so why do I still want to be around him?
Getting older with no family is lonely for me and it is nice to have someone there...but I still deserve to be loved!
Please tell me your ideas and opinions and experiences!
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Dec 07 2009 : 07:29:04 AM
thank you so much for the love and encouragement!
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| Kayce |
Posted - Dec 07 2009 : 07:19:06 AM
P.S. LOL I so agree with idcityrose. |
| Kayce |
Posted - Dec 07 2009 : 07:15:25 AM
Well it looks like you have a lot of support here. :D I understand the need for being accepted and loved. It is my oppinion that no one can give you true advise because we dont wear your shoes, we might wear similar shoes but I have found that NO situation is exactly allike cause you are the one and only YOU :D I am the one and only me. God made us that way. Our FEELINGS drive us to do many things. I would only suggest that you read your bible, pray, and be very careful. My heart goes out to you. Congrats on the furry man. He will lay by yourside and wish he could make you more comfortable. |
| idcityrose |
Posted - Dec 07 2009 : 07:10:09 AM
Linda, I came in late, after you already ended it, which I was really glad to hear. I am 58 and have been divorced from my 3rd husband for 19 years. I haven't even dated because there are no quality men available in my area. Truth be told that I am only recently, and only on occasion, wishing I had someone to share evenings with. Overall I like being alone because I am active in the community and in our Farmgirl Chapter so I have my outlets. I also work a 40 hour week.
I will never "settle" just to have someone around because life is too short to be unhappy. I have considered the online dating companies but, again, I like being alone.
Fill your life with your family, friends, farmgirls, hobbies and you will be fine. To me another person represents more laundry, more cooking and putting up with habits that irritate me.
Remember, when you stop looking, someone will come into your life, so relax and enjoy the good things that are in your life now.
Some people look for happiness, others create it.
Farmgirl hugs,
Rose
We are never alone in the forest of Sisters! We "Mountain Farmgirls" are outstanding in our field! |
| LisaH |
Posted - Dec 07 2009 : 06:48:31 AM
You had a really rough day! I hope calmer and sunnier days are ahead of you. I have a sister-in-law that has been divorced now for a couple of years and it is very difficult to date and find the right person. She has given up on the whole dating scene for a while and I think that's a good thing. Get involved in some community things. Keep busy. Take a trip for singles. You never know where you'll meet Mr. Right. Being alone is scary, but being with someone that focuses only on the negative isn't the answer. It definitely isn't a healthy relationship and wouldn't justify feelings of loneliness. You'd still feel lonely and have someone in your life constantly telling you were basically worthless. Not good.
You did the right thing reporting that guy to the store. They need to be aware of how he makes people feel in their own homes. Predators come in all shapes, sizes and ages. Good for you for reporting him!
Have a good week!
Lisa
An Indiana Suburban Farmgirl |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Dec 07 2009 : 06:20:42 AM
thanks Dutchy..
I sure enjoy my new puppy. Her name is Twiggy. She is called a Chorki...meaning half Yorkie and half Chihuahua. at 3 months she weighs about 3 lbs.
How are you doing?
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| dutchy |
Posted - Dec 07 2009 : 02:31:36 AM
OH Linda good for you! Enjoy your men dog and hope you have a great time woth HIM.
You deserve all the happiness in the world, WITH or without a man in your life. Love and hugs from me
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| rhondacate |
Posted - Dec 06 2009 : 10:31:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by luganlass
I was wondering if anyone else was having dating issues as everyone on this site always refers to their wonderful hubbys and here you are...good for you for standing up for yourself. It's really nice to have a man and to be in a loving relationship but I have found peace and serenity in being with myself until the right person comes along....
You should check out farmersonly.com!
CC
I met my husband on FarmersOnly! We have been married for a little over a year and we dated for a couple of years before that. He is definitely wonderful!
~Rhonda
http://rmfo-blogs.com/rhonda |
| luganlass |
Posted - Dec 06 2009 : 9:38:03 PM
I was wondering if anyone else was having dating issues as everyone on this site always refers to their wonderful hubbys and here you are...good for you for standing up for yourself. It's really nice to have a man and to be in a loving relationship but I have found peace and serenity in being with myself until the right person comes along....
You should check out farmersonly.com!
CC
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world". -JRR TOLKIEN |
| Room To Grow |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 4:38:12 PM
I am sure it is loneley but you have to make sure you are treated like the Queen you are. I went through a few frogs until I met my Prince. You will find your Prince I am sure...I just read your post on the 3rd. I am sorry you had to indure what you did..And I a glad you did what you did...good for you...and I am also glad you didnt get hurt. Just keep looking and never settle...
Deborah
we have moved to our farm...and love it |
| Annika |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 10:26:10 AM
YAY! I love my little armful of cuddles! He is a pure-bred Pomeranian and is just soooooo sweet. I just know you will love your little fella and give him such a wonderful home. Can't wait to hear about him and all the things that you do together!
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
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| yarnmamma |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 10:14:57 AM
Happy day! I've got the money in my hot little hands...and a little man dog waiting for me to go get him to give him a new home. LOL I may have him neutered soon just to calm him down to be more gentle..but we'll see.
He's a 10 lb Chauhaua--can't spell and a couple years old and loves to play.
He's getting new sweaters and blankets and toys as soon as I can get them made!...and a new soft bed.. and treats and etc..... :=D
I've only seen pics and he looks adorable.
Now I'm sending messages to Stephanie, queenofdreams...to ask how she taught her little Miss Morgan things, like wear a diaper..lol
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| jpbluesky |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 09:53:07 AM
Linda - we never get too old to learn and grow. Good for you for using your head and saving your heart a lot of wear and tear.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
| MyGreenGravity |
Posted - Nov 09 2009 : 04:22:11 AM
Phew...I am SO glad you dumped him. I was reading your post and the responses and could barely wait to get to the end of them so I could tell you to RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN...FAST!! I know of someone who was in this situation and HE married HER anyway. HE even knew it was the wrong thing to do, but he made himself overlook all the bad things anway. This woman was a con-artist and used this man for money only. Once he put a ring on her finger (even though he didn't really love her in his gut) that was when she showed her true nature. And wow, how nasty she really was. Stole his money, belittled him all the time, moved her horrible ADULT kids into the house and they don't work and one goes to jail regularly....it went on and on. This poor man is the kindest person, and he got conned so badly. Now people are stepping up telling the truth about her, and I wish they would have done that BEFORE he got fooled. They all want to know who she's going to use next! This is how people view her. My thoughts went to if you got money/the house after your divorce. Maybe this guy of yours is a user and interested in gaining from you somehow??? Who knows, but DO NOT GO BACK WITH THAT JERK, PLEASE. LIFE IS SHORT!! YOU'LL MEET A BETTER PERSON, JUST HOLD ON!! |
| knitnpickinatune |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 6:07:06 PM
Linda I'm catching up on the posts here and am very proud of you!
You didn't settle for less in a relationship and refused to be taken advantage of by "the pervert" & did what was right in both instances. Looks like you had a test involving setting your perameters,which you did! You keep it up girlfriend,and keep those heart string standards high!
http://www.pluckyfarmgirl.blogspot.com
http://www.mandochicks.com
http://mandolinbabe.net
http://www.mandolinbabe.com
http://www.mtndulcimer.com
@MandolinChick on Twitter
fingerpickin Farmgirl #702 |
| dutchy |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 09:51:31 AM
Linda, I USED to be allergic to cats too (and still am to dogs :() But since I had Elvis and now Pinky. no problems. Well at least not as bad as with a doggy. I AM a dog person, but due to those allergies opted for Pinky. AND she is sweet :)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| yarnmamma |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 09:32:13 AM
..lol had a feeling you'd say that Dutchy...
I'm extremely allergic to cats...wish I wasn't.
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| dutchy |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 09:00:02 AM
Or a kitty cat ;)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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| yarnmamma |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 08:54:14 AM
I'm gonna get a puppy instead. :-)
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| BarefootGoatGirl |
Posted - Nov 07 2009 : 07:48:58 AM
linda, don't settle for anything less than what you deserve! hang in there, your man is out there somewhere!
What we write today slipped into our souls some other day when we were alone and doing nothing.
-Brenda Ueland
http://quilandneedle.blogspot.com/
http://musingandmuttering.blogspot.com |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 6:06:18 PM
I'm feeling the love from ya'll...sure needed it
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| Karrieann |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 6:04:15 PM
:o)
You're AWESOME, Linda!!!
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766
(29 Sept 2009) |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 09:22:57 AM
Fargirl sisters, you have reminded me my self respect is important and what love really is. Life is good and I'm very happy to have your support.
huuuuggggsss to ya!!
Linda in Scranton, PA
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| Mikki |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 09:15:15 AM
Good for you!!!!
~~Blessings, Mikki Jo
"Courage is being scared to death... but saddling up anyway" ***John Wayne
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/iloveyoumom
http://burningmeadowsprings.blogspot.com/
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| Mikki |
Posted - Nov 06 2009 : 09:11:02 AM
I agree with your feelings, if your laying awake wondering about this, I would act on that. You just go with your gut, your gut knows what your heart and mind needs. Sounds like he is not what your looking for. Blessings to you and I pray the situation unfolds in a way that makes your decision easy.
~~Blessings, Mikki Jo
"Courage is being scared to death... but saddling up anyway" ***John Wayne
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/iloveyoumom
http://burningmeadowsprings.blogspot.com/
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