| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| JessieMae |
Posted - Feb 26 2008 : 11:45:01 AM
Autumn's wedding budget post gave me an idea. I'm willing to bet that a lot of us have been to weddings that made us cringe for one reason or another. Since I have a terrible mean streak ( ), I love to hear these kinds of wedding horror stories. Does anyone have some they'd like to share?
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| 25 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| KYgurlsrbest |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 1:14:21 PM
At my sister in laws' beautiful and rather, grand scale wedding, they served a sit down full- service filet mignon or lobster dinner, and while everyone was eating and quietly marvelling at the cost of such a meal, the priest who'd performed the wedding strolled in--Apparently, uninvited--now, I don't know what decorum is for priests since I'm not catholic, but we invited our JP, he just politely declined. Anyhoo, in walks Father Stan and sits down at a table with the most parishoners he recognizes and promptly requests lobster AND filet mignon "sort of a surf and turf" he was heard to say to everyone around him. Naturally, because he wasn't formally invited, they didn't have a meal prepared for him, nor was "surf and turf" an option on our response cards as I recall. Luckily, there were a few guests who didn't make it, so there was an extra piece of meat here and there and he was fed without much ado.
Oh. Ok, I conveniently forget that I was married previously...the reasons I forget are legion...
My future father in law was a drunk (and like father, like son, I found out later), who claimed to be just a "working class" guy, but really, was just a bumpkin-hick who was antisocial and thought everyone else was a snob and "hated" city folk (i.e., me.) The day before the ceremony, he called to tell my fiance that he wasn't coming because he didn't have anything to wear--not even a dress shirt or dress pants and he "weren't buyin' anything" because it was a waste of money. I thought, "really? Supporting your only son is a waster of money...", but I didn't say much--because it was SO typical. So my fiance loaned him his clothes because, well , he wanted his jerk of a father at our wedding... Once there, he complained the whole time about what an ugly tie he had on (I bet she--me--bought this for you!) and how he couldn't wait to get out of the "get up" and go back to the farm. They left before we even cut the cake, and while I was milling around visiting people at the small reception, guests asked, "who was that jerk? He complained about everything! His wife sure was nice, but I really felt sorry for her!!!"
Farmgirl Sister #80, thanks to a very special farmgirl from the Bluegrass..."She was built like a watch, a study in balance ... with a neck and head so refined, like a drawing by DaVinci"...
NY Newsday sportswriter Bill Nack describing filly, Ruffian.
http://www.buyhandmade.org/ |
| Past Blessings |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 12:33:24 PM
Kathie, my dear, you take the wedding cake (Tacky last-minute grocery store one at that! LOL!) But the fact that you can now laugh at it and look back mostly fondly at it, shows what a truly strong woman you are. Fast forward 31 years . . . have you married off any of your own children? I am guessing if so, it was a bit better planned and didn't involve used hankies and KFC! What a hoot!
Hugs & Blessings,
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
| one_dog_per_acre |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 12:01:55 PM
I can't wait to try peanutbutter relish at my garden party.
Farmgirl Sister #91
Make cupcakes not war! |
| JudyBlueEyes |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 11:53:40 AM
The only comment I can come up with at this time is ... the bride found a home-based caterer - not a bad idea, since it was a casual, outdoor reception, in the "garden" area of the little church where she was married. The food was snack-y and nothing to write home about, and one item stood out in memory - celery stuffed with a mixture of peanut butter and chopped dill pickles - and NO, the bride was not pregnant! I will tell you, I spent a decent amount of time with that item, trying to determine just what in the world it was, and that is what I came up with, in consultation with some of the other guests. I have NEVER heard of that combination and while not being out and out "spit it out of your mouth" repulsive, it was just strange and had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Other than that tidbit, I have been lucky in that I haven't been to any really tacky weddings. But some of these...boy! LMAO!!!
We come from the earth, we go back to the earth, and in between, we garden! |
| JessieMae |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 07:29:31 AM
Dressing down for weddings is a real trend we're seeing at the Club these days. We have a lot of wedding guests violating the Club's dress code (which isn't very strict - just no shorts or jeans). Of course, there's not much we can do about it other than frown at them.
We've also got a lot of brides committing what I think is the cardinal sin of wedding planning...A-lists and B-lists. They invite the people they really want at the reception, and then if they get a regret, they invite someone from the B-list to take the A-lister's place. We've even had brides who want to serve a fancy entree to part of the guests and something cheaper to the rest, or an open bar for some guests and beer and wine only for the rest. (We can't accomodate those types of requests anyway because the logistics of serving such an event.)
Equally bad, people are leaving family members off the list because they say they can't afford to invite them. Then, I'm stuck explaining to Aunt Fran and Uncle Joe when they call to ask why they didn't receive the invitation that the rest of the family did that the bride would have loved to have them, but unfortunately "she is only inviting close family and friends." I think you should count up the people you want to attend and plan your reception accordingly. If you have a big family and can't afford to feed them all a plated meal, then you need to balance what you want with what your family needs and go with something simpler, like a buffet or even just punch and cake. I have big family, and in the end I had to cut out all but my best-best friends to accomodate them all in the church hall. My cousin did it the opposite way - she invited friends and cut out family that she wasn't especially close to - and six years later feelings are still hurt. |
| bohemiangel |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 07:09:15 AM
WOW, Meg that one, shotgun interesting.....you just might be a .... I know I know I'm bad sorry. I couldn't resist. Well its fun to laugh and gawk in amazement hehe. Thanks girls!
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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| Kathie |
Posted - Feb 28 2008 : 06:17:40 AM
Jessie.. I can't get over That wedding you went to Girl!
But you really have to give it to her.. If nothing else.. She Had a Plan .. She WAS determined.. I mean really.. regardless what ANYONE else thought, felt or wanted.. Or even KNEW was better.. SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WANTED!! Yes.. In her own little narrow mind of course..
But.. it was there Somewhere!!
As for My wedding..? Photo's? Your kidding right? Like with a Profesional Photographer?
You think this was a day our Mothers actually were wanting to remember?
I'm sure the two of them were hoping it would be over with as quik as it started!
Ok.. well... I DO actually have a Handfull of Polaroids..
One of us standing with the Minister.. a couple with Hubby & I together..Me & my Psycho Dad & that crazy get up of his.. & me With my youngets brother I think.. Then several back at the apartment.. So.. maybe I can figure out how to scan them & post them.. You can see what a complete Dork i was at 16 in my Dorothy Hamill Hair cut!
When my Husbands Brother who is 12 years younger then my husband got married about 10 years ago we went.. the wedding was a nice sweet little wedding.. Catholic.. so there was a lot of standing.. sit down.. kneel.. sit down.. stand again.. You get the idea.. But it was a very pretty church.. But.. aside from the wedding party.. & the GROOMS side of the Family..(US..) No one else was dressed up.. AT ALL!.. I mean.. We were all dressed up some what.. after all..
Wasn't this the way it's done..? You dress up a bit for the wedding.. then you can relax somewhat for the reception..? So heading back for the recption alot of 'us' NON Italians.. either wore what we had to the wedding.. or went a bit more casule..
Well.. talk about about feeling awkward..
When we arrived at the reception.... Whhhhooooooww..
The Bride's Family had all gone home & Dressed to the Nine's Girls!!
I mean THEY were DRESSED UP!! EVENING ATTIRE!!
Like Ball Gowns!! It was the Craziest thing I had ever seen!
& they had multiplied too!
There were 50 times the people at the reception then were at the wedding..
I think every family member that was related to them in Italy had come to the wedding..
Because half of them didn't speak English.. Really an odd turn about..
In OUR Family.. we always Dress for the wedding.. Then you can relax & let your hair down a bit for the wedding..(That is of course if your Family APPROVES of Your Wedding to begin with!)
Just funny to see how another family does things different..
Like the Dragon's I suppose!!!!
Kathie.. Farm Girl Sister #29
"In a World Where you Can Be Anything, Be Yourself".. |
| theoanne |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 6:02:56 PM
These stories are great! The Dragons were...shall we say....interesting. However I'm wondering how they got away with that in a Lutheran church. must have been a very progressive pastor. :)
The one over the gopher holes was pretty funny that got me giggling. I could definetly picture this and it tickled me. .....BUT..... Kathie... yours was the BEST. I was wiping tears from my eyes. DH came home from work and thought I had lost it. You are such a hoot! Love ya. You really need to do stand up.
TEDDIE
Too blessed to be stressed! |
| Meg |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 11:33:34 AM
Kathie, I can just picture you two now. Do you have pictures? 
A college roommate of my hubby's wedding: I had never met him and Lucas hadn't seen him in a couple of years but we appreciated the invite and thought it would be great to see his old buddies. Well, we pulled up the address and the wedding was happening early literally in the front yard. So, as we were unloading the car the bride was walking down the aisle. The ceremony was short and sweet. After, as we were going through the receiving line, Lucas introduced me to the mother of the groom and inquired about the darling newborn she was holding. OH, it was all coming together. Shotgun! THEN, the good part...the reception began. Music, there was none. But Keg stands, has anyone ever even seen someone do this...in a wedding dress?!? We were shocked. And to top it off, the maid of honor's speech: "Kappie (the bride) has been with a lot of guys, but she really likes Joe (the groom)". Been with?!? Poor Joe! Oh, that was years ago and we still joke about that one liner.
MaryJane's daughter,
Meg
megan@maryjanesfarm.org |
| goneriding |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 10:58:18 AM
Oh, my word...Kathie, that is the funniest!! Especially the part about the pastor in the wheelchair. Really, you should make a movie of your wedding. I would pay to see it! I've been laffing my tushie off since yesterday when I started reading all this...
Winona :-)
When you lose, don't lose the lesson!!
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| bohemiangel |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 10:57:20 AM
HAHAH Heather I can just picture that.....
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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| catscharm74 |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 10:53:27 AM
I went to an over the top one where the "bride" wanted to be a princess...but it was WAY over done!! Her "colors" were lavendar and light blue. It was everywhere and everyone was required to wear something with the color in it. It looked like Easter has thrown up all over the place..The bride had a laced up back to her over the top dress and lets just say, her girls needed some support..
They had so many "traditions" and "moments" that it was nauseating and she was a complete control freak. Someone requested a song and she freaked out on the DJ and made him stop since it was not on the playlist.. I mean, it's a wedding, who doesn't do the tacky dances?
Everytime the bride and groom kissed, it was x-rated and gradually getting worse as the night and alcohol went on.
ICKY!!!
Cheers,
Heather
FARMGIRL #90 |
| LunaTheFarmLady |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 09:31:56 AM
Hoot hoot and hoot! It gets better and better! True life is funnier than just about anything else. Keep it coming.
Luna |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 07:18:34 AM
I still like the one about dragons the best....LOL
LOL :-D
****************
May we always be in thankful contemplation of God who presides over us all.
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
farmgirl #71 Linda in PA |
| yarnmamma |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 07:08:29 AM
I love this topic...soooo funny!! :-D
****************
May we always be in thankful contemplation of God who presides over us all.
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
farmgirl #71 Linda in PA |
| bohemiangel |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 07:07:53 AM
Ok I read all this morning but Jessies. OMG can you even imagine. Kathy yes yours is like a movie and a book!!! You really should think about it. Now I'm thinking of my big fat greek wedding. Oh girls how you always make my day and my smiles!!!
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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| JessieMae |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 07:07:50 AM
If you've never visited it, I highly suggest that anyone enjoying this post checks out www.uglydress.com. It is one of the funniest sites I have ever visted. |
| nubidane |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 07:07:10 AM
I hate to admit it, but last night, coincidentally, I was flipping through channels in order to avoid the CLinton/Obama debate, & came upon "My Big Redneck Wedding" on CMT.. The fabric of choice for the brides seems to be camo, and activities like catching a greased pig and mud hopping in trucks were abound. On bride had false teeth & lost her teeth right before the wedding.. OK, I admitted it, I watched it. C'mon you guys!! It's February! Cabin fever on a broke budget! |
| mima |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 06:51:55 AM
Oh my gosh!!! This has been the funniest thread ever!!!! What a wonderful way to start the day!!! laughing my bum off!!!! Thank you!
"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars,or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit." Helen Keller |
| bohemiangel |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 06:34:30 AM
I went to one that I worked with the chick at the restaurant. WELL her fiance cheated on her with a 15 year old he met on the internet and did more than just hold hands. He was convicted and served jail time cause she lied about her age...They got married but NOONE wanted to go to the wedding, there were a few of us that said ok we'll go support her. Her mother and father abused her as a child wouldn't give her food and her bro or let her out or they would lock the phone in the bedroom so she couldn't use it. The mom looks like a hooker and cheats all the time and then the father was just mean. It was so sad....I mean picture trashy, bad vibe wedding. We tried to keep upbeat for her. That is her choice, but they can't have kids because of his registration. There were probably 30 people there at the reception.
**~~Farmgirl Sister #60~~**
"... to thine ownself be true."
http://liggygirl.blogspot.com/
http://liggygirlslonggreen.blogspot.com/
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| palmettogirl |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 06:22:38 AM
let me start with BEFORE the wedding....my brother-in-law was introduced to a friend's cousin who had been jilted (like two weeks before going to the alter) a few months prior. anyway, after three dates (3 weekends/or/two weeks) he was getting married to her. she kept everything the same as planned for her wedding that didn't take place. in fact, she told everyone in our family that she was registered at.... and macy's. when aunt joan went to purchase a gift, she told the sales girl....Gebel and Rosenblum wedding. (my brother-in-law was Rosenblum!) the woman could only find Gebel and Smolinsky-----the bride forgot to change the name to the NEW Groom! |
| DeepsouthMamma |
Posted - Feb 27 2008 : 06:02:11 AM
"HELP! I've fallen and can't get up!"
Ya'll are killing me!!! I recover from one story only to read another!!! This is hilarious!!!
Kathie- we have more in common than you know. If I ever get more than a minute to check in here Ill tell our story so you can have a good laugh!I-like you married young and 34 yrs ago!! Yikes- I am only 50!!!
Blessings,
Autumn
Farmgirl #49
http://simplytoday-autumn.blogspot.com/
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. |
| JessieMae |
Posted - Feb 26 2008 : 11:45:48 PM
The Ice Queen
My husband was the best man in this wedding. Everything started off on the wrong foot when Bridezilla scheduled the wedding photos on a weekday a week before the actual wedding. She said she wanted to look her best for the photos and not feel hurried during the photo shoot. At the time, we lived out of state and my husband couldn't take the extra time off to make a trip back just for photos. So, the best man is in none of the wedding photos. There was also a lot of animosity between Bridezilla and groom's family. One of the groom's sisters is morbidly obese, and Bridezilla didn't want her to attend the wedding, saying that the sister was too large to be dressed appropriately for the event.
Bridezilla also assigned duties to the wedding guests. If you were in town the night before, you had to attend a meeting with an agenda and everything to go over your responsibilities. If you came the day of the wedding, it was written in the inside of your program. I was assigned to church-decorating duty and had to give a presentation on how to get from the church to the Chinese restaraunt where the reception was being held. Considering I was from out of state, it was probably not the best assignment for me. I basically read out loud a printed page from Mapquest. People were even assigned roles of "birdseed thrower" or "balloon holder." BT's were to throw birdseed when the bride and groom left the church, while BH's were to let helium balloons go as they ran past. Church decorations included white Christmas lights wrapped in tulle, a hundred helium balloons, 2 50-candle candleabras, and 2 10-ft tall hollow plastic columns with gigantic vases of fake orchids balanced on the top. The pastor ultimately vetoed this last decoration because they wobbled precariously whenever anyone moved near the altar. Bridezilla wept when we put the vases on the floor in front of the columns instead because we ruined the whole asthetic. When the groom shouted, "We can't suspend the laws of gravity for you!" I knew we were in for a long weekend.
The wedding ceremony itself was pretty run-of-the-mill, except for the lack of a kiss (see below). There was a 4-hour gap between the end of the wedding and the beginning of the reception because Bridezilla had purchased 2 wedding dresses - 1 to wear during the ceremony and 1 to wear to the reception. She needed the 4 hours to go back home, change clothes, and have her hair and makeup professionally redone. During the break, most people went out to eat and then arrived at the reception already full (in my case and the cases of half of the bridal party, full of margaritas from Carlos O'Kelly's!). Bridezilla became infuriated when she saw people were not eating as much as she thought they should be and took the microphone away from the karaoke machine and shouted, "Eat! Eat!" at us all. She explained that the meal was a 10-course traditional Chinese meal and that we were disrespecting her culture by not eating it.
She is Vietnamese - not Chinese.
The weirdest part was that Bridezilla refused to kiss the groom. When the pastor said, "You may now kiss the bride," she coldly offered her cheek to her new husband. It was so obvious that a nervous giggle erupted from the guests. The groom looked panicked at first but then kind of hammed it up, shrugging and kissing her cheek with a lound smacking sound. She still refused to kiss her husband at the reception. When people clinked their glasses with their silverware, she took the microphone and said that instead of clinking glasses, we had to sing a song with the word "love" in it. Several of the groom's elderly aunts stood up and did an absolutely adorable acapella version of "Let Me Call You Sweetheart," but Bridezilla changed the rules...now we had to kiss our parter first and then she would kiss the groom. Well, at that the groom's dad grabbed his wife, dipped her right to the floor, and put a smack on her that made the windows vibrate! Everyone cheered, but Bridezilla still wouldn't kiss her groom. People actually started booing her.
There was karaoke, but no alcohol, so nobody really wanted to sing. Bridezilla started calling on people and making them serenade her. She picked the person and the song. (I had to sing, "The Gambler" with the wedding party.) One of the bridesmaids and I developed an instant rapport, and she told me that neither she nor any of the other bridesmaids were Bridezilla's friends. She told me that Bridezilla had wanted bridesmaids but didn't have any friends to fill the role, so she asked the groom's female friends to be bridesmaids. Bridezilla had to pay for their dresses and, for one bridesmaid, plane fare and hotel room before they would agree to it.
Unbelieveably, they are still married 7 years later. |
| abbasgurl |
Posted - Feb 26 2008 : 10:21:09 PM
We went to a wedding/reception where the groom never showed. His Daddy got him "fall down drunk" to stop the ceremony. I heard they hid him from the bride's Dad & brothers for a couple of days after.
Once it was determined the groom was a no show, the family ripped open the trays of chicken & said "Let's eat!, no use wasting good food". Groom's uncle pried open the gift card "wishing well" to hand cards back, and the very pregnant maid of honor was serving drinks with dollar "tips" she'd earned poking from her ample cleavage.
The grooms dad finally showed up REALLY drunk, flirted shamelessly with his ex-wife , telling her she "looked dam* good, I shoulda kept you", in front of his then wife and all the guests. Later he was seen outside relieving himself on the tire of his monster mudder pick-up truck.
I'd say the poor bride...but she was stomping and swearing and carrying on in front of everyone. The "pastor" assured her that if the groom showed up, he'd marry them "drunk or not".
I had to DRAG my husband (a quiet, gentle man) out of there...he was laughing so hard and wanted to see "what was going to happen next"! I assumed it would end in a brawl...
When trying to leave we got stuck in the parking lot in a foot of snow...turns out they weren't the sort of folks who think about things like plowing.
It was like a bad, bad movie! I still cringe when I think about it.
Oh my I am still laughing at your stories... the reams of yellow legal paper in the bosom and immortal dragons was just toooooo much!
Rhonda
I will sing at the top of my lungs, and I will dance even if I'm the only one...
http://www.kattywhompus.etsy.com |
| mikesgirl |
Posted - Feb 26 2008 : 10:06:40 PM
Kathie, after I read your story, I had to go in and wash my hair.
Farmgirl Sister #98
Check out my new online store
http://www.shopthefrontier.com/VFstore/index.php?manufacturers_id=79&osCsid=6be4b25bf9555031c6e2e86bbde23dba |
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