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Project Discussions:  A funny for today  |
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quiltee
True Blue Farmgirl
4793 Posts
Linda
Terrell
TX
USA
4793 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 14 2024 : 10:14:56 PM
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This showed up on FB today and I could not stop laughing in order to read it to my husband.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, documnt their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submittd by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget poundng on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget |
Linda B
quiltee
Farmgirl #1919
FGOTM for August, 2015 and April, 2017
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Edited by - quiltee on Aug 14 2024 10:15:24 PM |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
6121 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
6121 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2024 : 12:07:12 AM
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Oh that was funny!
Thanks Linda!
Hugs and have a great day tomorrow.
Darlene |
Farmgirl # 4943
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.
Tell God what you need, and thank him for what he has done.
Philippians 4:6
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
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StitchinWitch
True Blue Farmgirl
1347 Posts
Judith
Galt
CA
USA
1347 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2024 : 12:20:58 AM
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| ROTFL!! We were just talking about how laughter is supposed to be so good for your health. Thanks to you I will now live longer. |
Judith
7932
Happiness is Homemade
FGOTM 6/21, 6/24 |
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levisgrammy
Scattered Prairie Hen Honcho
9764 Posts
Denise
Ohio
USA
9764 Posts |
Posted - Aug 15 2024 : 03:39:04 AM
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Denise~~
Sister #43
"I am a bookaholic with no desire to be cured."
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path"
Psalm 119:105
www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com
www.torisgram.etsy.com |
Edited by - levisgrammy on Aug 15 2024 03:39:46 AM |
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quiltee
True Blue Farmgirl
4793 Posts
Linda
Terrell
TX
USA
4793 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2024 : 09:01:18 AM
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Here’s another one I found on FB from a friend for today:
When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
I'll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.
'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry I'll run if I'm able!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
I'll sit close to the TV, through channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.
And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"
– Credit Goes To : Joanne Bailey Baxter
– Via Heartfelt Creations
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Linda B
quiltee
Farmgirl #1919
FGOTM for August, 2015 and April, 2017
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StitchinWitch
True Blue Farmgirl
1347 Posts
Judith
Galt
CA
USA
1347 Posts |
Posted - Aug 19 2024 : 1:30:05 PM
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| Another good one Linda except I like okra so I'll choke on the avocados instread. |
Judith
7932
Happiness is Homemade
FGOTM 6/21, 6/24 |
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
3575 Posts
Winnie
Gainesville
Fl
USA
3575 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2024 : 11:08:26 AM
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| This list by pilots kinda makes me worry about flying on planes!! LOL!!! Some of that stuff seems potentially dangerous because getting off the ground and landing puts a lot of stress on planes and the smallest issue could be a serious one sometimes! Or maybe I am just a worry-wort as my Grandpa used to say. |
Winnie Nielsen #3109
Red Tractor Girl
Farm Girl of the Year 2014-2015 |
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Project Discussions: A funny for today |
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A funny for today
