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Family Matters:  Is she too young???  |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 4:04:48 PM
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My eight year old third grader's class reads Time Magazine For Kids each week. There's been a couple of times I have raised my eyebrows at some of the topics. However, I want my farmgirl companions' opinions on this. This week, the cover is "Tragedy Strikes Japan" with a woman standing in front of complete devastation and wreckage. Inside are graphic photos of the tsunami, the homeless, with words like "destruction" and "nuclear disaster", and "radiation". The whole article is pretty detailed. I have a hard time wrapping my head around what those poor people are dealing with. I remember being older, in middle school, and being scared to death in the eighties over nuclear disasters. Is she too young for all this information, or am I sheltering her too much? We tried to sit her down and ask her if she wanted to talk about it or had questions, but she said no and wanted to go play. What do you think?
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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jackie v
Farmgirl in Training
32 Posts
jackie
easthampton
ma
USA
32 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 4:45:48 PM
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| Nicole..I see where your concern is. For some reason our society feels that kids aren't growing up fasr enough. I personally think that today's kids have had their childhoods stolen from them by stuff such as this. Maybe you could discuss it with her teacher..but the sad reality is that she will be subjected to far worse (sexually explicit advertising.movies,music) as the years go by. My husband and I try to keep the lines of communication open when it comes to this stuff.Not only does it let your daughter voice her concerns but it also shows her that you understand and therefor she will be more likely to come to you when she needs advise about lifes tough subjects and know that you won't be judgement. Good luck I wouldn't want to be a kid today..but..I got to tell ya' being a parent today is no picnic either, sometimes ! Good luck |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2011 : 8:46:04 PM
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I agree that people make kids grow up too fast. At the same time, I visited Haiti for the first time when I was 8 years old. It was pretty devastating. I had seen commercials of for the poor in Africa up to that point and I had been saddened by the commercials, however, Haiti was up in my face and there in real life. It was something I have NEVER forgotten. However, I don't think I was scarred by it. But, rather I always used it as a compose for my life. When ever I started feeling sorry for myself, I would always remember life was not anything in comparison as bad here in the USA as it was for the poor Haitians I seen. And it would immediately make me stop feeling sorry for myself. It gave me a depth of compassion and appreciation I don't think I would have in life with out that experience.
Personally I think magazines on such is probably at least better then seeing it on tv and such.
Also I don't think she would be so eager to go play if she was too scared about it. I think it being in print and not in moving pictures (as in tv) probably allows children to distance themselves from it, more then adults can. Cause they are still putting such together, and probably don't gather the full gravity from a picture and printed words as much as adults yet.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 03:56:14 AM
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Sounds like it wasn't bothering her at the time. A lot of this stuff
seems like its been a constant throughout their lives. For some of these kids, the Middle East wars are going on as it was w/ Viet Nam and those of us whop grew up in the 60's and very early 70's.
In middle school I remember reading "The Day After" and freaking out about nuclear wars. My mom very matter of factly said that it that were the case, she'd be one of the first out the door ready to go to heaven. Because that would be far better than trying to suffer through staying alive and possibly getting bad radiation burns. So her faith's example spoke far more loudly than fears and hype over nuclear war. I was in the 7th grade
It depends on how you explain these kinds of tings too. Don't buy into the type and instead focus on what your family can do for these people and turn it into a positive |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 04:05:21 AM
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as I sit here feeding my newborn, I wonder what the world will be like when she is 7 or 8. I am so thankful I live on this beautiful farm waaay out in the middle of nowhere!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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4forMe
True Blue Farmgirl
166 Posts
Dawn
Easton
MD
166 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 05:09:11 AM
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My son (4th grade) brought home this same Time for Kids. I thought the pictures were informative without being too "graphic". It does show devastation, but I think that is the point. The kids hear adults discussing this, they hear it on the news, at least my kids do. I don't see anything wrong with letting them have a few images to help them understand why this is a heartbreaking story. I think it is a great avenue for opening up lines of communication and discussion. My son often brings me his Time for Kids and asks me a question about something he never knew about and we have a chance to talk about it.
Sewing, knitting, gardening mom of 5. |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 07:40:15 AM
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This is another reason that I am glad that I homeschool. I will decide what is appropriate. Some things just can't be explained and the fear will be there. Why upset kids unnecessarily?
Me and my six year old discussed that there had been an earthquake and a flood. We prayed for the people of Japan. End of the story.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 11:40:26 AM
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I also agree with Anna, it would be a good time to maybe discuss your families beliefs about God and faith as well.
I also agree with Mrs Rooster, even though I haven't seen this particular magazine so I can't say weather or not for sure I would approve of it. I have seen a lot of things the school teachers have assigned that I totally don't approve of my children seeing or reading at their maturity level yet! Not to mention because of some of our religious beliefs.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Mar 24 2011 : 2:39:34 PM
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I think that kids seeing reality and discussing it with their teachers or their parents in a calm informative way is not only ok but necessary. When kids do see these things like earthquakes, wars, natural disasters, people having money problems, no work, losing their homes any thing that they can come up with in their imagination can be way worse than hearing rational and truthful facts. You can also talk about the ways to help protect yourself, how to cope if a disaster does stike. Help them to learn to cope and react in positives ways. Should you try to talk to a wee one of 2 or 3 no, of course not. But,to a child that has the brain capacity to comprehend and understand yes. I think today a lot of kids have been sheltered from reality to the point of not being taught what to expect and how to properly handle situations. Especially with things like money and where it comes from and how to manage it and how important it is to pay your bills and not over spend your budget. They don't learn the basic things in life, I see it all the time. Kids actually feel that their parents owe them and that they are entitled to everything their heart desires and that is ridiculous. You can't put blinders on them and let them think that everything is all roses and sunshine. Life is hard sometimes and for some people in the world it is hard all the time. Protect them and teach them how to protect themselves yes. But, shelter them to the point they know nothing of real life, no. That does no one any good. Because one day they are going to be out in the real world and they are going to have to face things as they really are. Sometimes absolutely wonderful, other times not so much. If they aren't prepared for this what will they do? They need to know they can do something to help themselves. Sorry off my soap box. I am not a downer of a person but I am no polyanna either. Being prepared and informed is so important. Teach a bit more at every age they calmly and honestly. It will help them more than you realize.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2011 : 03:55:05 AM
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You could also turn this into a major life's lesson and explain how this stuff also happens here.
Our homeless rates are bad in some inner cities, and a great humanitarian project might be to volunteer on the weekends..This gives back and also provides feelings of being able to see the effects of good works in action |
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forgetmenot
True Blue Farmgirl
3602 Posts
Judith
Nora Springs
IA
USA
3602 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2011 : 07:37:57 AM
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I think you made a good point, Anna. Also, homeless rates are unacceptable all over. We find this in small cities; and, even small communities.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Mar 26 2011 : 07:19:59 AM
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I don't shelter her completely, by all means, but there is so much our kids have to deal with these days, sometimes I think the details the school gives on things is too much. Yes the world is scary and bad, but shouldn't kids have some innocence in childhood? Just a thought. She did ask if tsunamis could happen here, and now she seems to have moved on anyway. Thanks for all the opinions. Also, there was no discussion in class, Time magazine is sent home as a homework assignment.
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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Lindsay C
True Blue Farmgirl
117 Posts
Lindsay
Rogersville
AL
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2011 : 08:13:50 AM
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I think that she's going to probably end up seeing a lot of this stuff anyhow. At least in magazine form it won't be as overwhelming as on the news, at least that's what I feel. The news tends to be a bit sensationalist sometimes, and the pictures they show seem to be some of the worst. However, in magazine setting, it may be a good way to strike up a conversation about current events in a less "in-your-face" way. I agree that this may be a good way to talk with her about how lucky she is to have a blessed life and maybe come up with some ways she can help in her community. That way you're also giving her some power so that she may not feel so overwhelmed by the world's bad news.
Lindsay
Farmgirl Sister #1452 |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2011 : 6:12:59 PM
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I think there is a big difference between not wanting kids to grow up too fast...and being realistic. I also think it has a lot to do with perspective. Just today, a friend and I were discussing an older relative of hers who had been a kid in Germany during the second world war and the realities she'd had to deal with. She was ten years old. Can you imagine that happening now? I hear so many people saying that we want kids to grow up so fast nowadays, and yes, in some ways I think they do. But in other ways, compared to history, kids nowadays have it soooo easy and so many things are candy coated for them.
My personal farmgirl opinion is that the magazine is a great way to open discussion about what happened in Japan (which obviously was a horrible thing, and I'm not sure there is anyway around that)and to talk about other disasters/tragedies...and how lucky you are that you are safe. Its never fun discussing the bad stuff in the world, but I also think its really important that the kids know what is going on in the real world. Just my two cents. :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com |
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HollyG
True Blue Farmgirl
214 Posts
Holly
Hamburg
Arkansas
USA
214 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2011 : 10:56:49 AM
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I'm a little late to this topic - don't usually check out this page. I was teaching social studies to my 4th graders the morning of 9/11. My room was next to a counselor's office with a television. I watched the first tower collapse, saw the second plane hit, the second tower collapes, and the aftermath of the pentagon crash. I think it was one of the most tragic and tramatic things I've ever experienced, although I was very far from the tragedies themselves.
My kids knew something was going on, so I used it to be a teachable moment. They didn't see footage until they got home, but I was able to show them on maps where the damage occurred (as opposed to where we are.) I was able to introduce them to the basics of Middle Eastern politics and answer some of the basic questions as best I could. I prepared them for the war I knew would come from it and did my best to give them a sense of patriotism and security during the day and in the weeks to follow.
Many of their parents later commended me for explaining things to them in terms they could understand. This is an event that shocked our nation and left adults speechless. I certainly didn't have all the answers or words that needed to be said, but I know my students were able to go home and sleep well knowing where we stood that day.
It's a very difficult call to make. What is enough? What is too much? As a child, I was never introduced to violence and world politics. I remember the first dead body I saw on television - during the Beiruit bombings in the 80s. It bothered me for weeks. I wish I had a teacher (I didn't talk to my parents about it - not that I couldn't - I just didn't) or someone I could have expressed myself to about this - asked questions, and somehow gained some closure.
Don't be too hard on your teachers. They have a tough job. Your children are exposed to much more than you would believe. Imagine the worst home environment you can think of - and I'll guarantee your child is playing with someone at recess who lives it. I long for the days of protection and innocence of our children, but our kids are facing adult situations and need to learn how to process the thoughts, ideas, and images they are receiving from the outside world. Who would have thought someone would have needed to have "THE TALK" with a 10 year old girl- but that's what's happening - and what has to happen for her protection these days.
So, as much as we may want to shelter our kids, we ultimately have to think about what is best for them in the long-run. Would you rather them hear about these disasters now where you can offer comfort and security? Or, put it off for a few years until you think they are ready for it - by which time they have established a view that may or may not be your own? Just food for thought...
HollyG
Farmgirl #2513
www.mydeepwoodslife.com |
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4forMe
True Blue Farmgirl
166 Posts
Dawn
Easton
MD
166 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2011 : 2:34:24 PM
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Well said, Holly.
Sewing, knitting, gardening mom of 5. |
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Family Matters: Is she too young??? |
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Is she too young???
