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Across the Fence:  very bad morning  |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 06:21:34 AM
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Let me preface this by saying my 4 children and I have all been sick and the children are still experiencing cold symptoms. Yesterday I took my oldest to the dr. after school. It was pick them up just before three, take them to eat and then be at the dr by 4pm. Then it took about an hour at the dr. Then we get home and it's been raining a lot, so they've been sick & cooped up. My 6 year old daughter was being too rough with her 8 year old brother. I get onto her. The second time she did something I explain the consequence of her behavior and also further consequences should she do it again. Okay, fast forward to this morning.
5 am my husband brings the baby in, he's up 1 hour early wanting to nurse, I had gotten him to bed late last night. So, you know I'm the one to blame because I was slow last night. (If he gets into bed on time he sleeps longer) I feed him, change him and then I play with him for awhile. We get the girls up and I am helping my 6 year old get dressed and she SMASHES my finger while I'm helping her get her shoes on (she has to wear a certain kind w/ her uniform and they tie and she can't tie shoes yet). I walk away fuming. Finger throbbing, head launching into rage (mentally) and I go in my room. I come out and I verbally dress her down and remind her that she has been too rough, etc. She apologizes, cries and goes out the door.
I'm feeling like about 2 inches tall by this time, because I realize, she's just tired. I'm tired. We need a break. I haven't got family that can help. I have a friend from church who helps, but she's been out of town. (Most friend my age either have a bunch of kids of their own or they work full time and have careers). My husband has been working late hours. And they've been sick, plus we don't normally go anywhere after school for that long, it's been raining. etc.
I just feel like a heel. Why can't I just have perspective in the moment??? That would be nice. Or one of those mood rings and when it turns black I know to just break out some chocolate or play some relaxing music. Etc.
I've been stretching at night, trying to relax. My husband has been extra nice. It's just the wear and tear of life. I just feel so bad for being a donkey's rear this morning.
I just had to vent.
One more thing.
Well, my baby took forever to take his nap this morning. He woke up at five, so really he should have been laid down about 7:30, but I was slow getting him to bed. So, he bawled until he just fell asleep as I wrote this post. (Which I wrote this post to take my mind off of him crying). Anyway, he's finally asleep.
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. |
Edited by - _Rebecca_ on Apr 18 2007 07:04:06 AM |
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lilpunkin
True Blue Farmgirl
368 Posts
Texas
USA
368 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 06:34:08 AM
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Hugs to you Rebecca.
Life isn't measured by how many breaths you take, but by how many moments take your breath away. |
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happyhousewife
True Blue Farmgirl
201 Posts
Mary
North Pole
Alaska
201 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 06:42:07 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by _Rebecca_
Or one of those mood rings and when it turns black I know to just break out some chocolate or play some relaxing music. Etc.
I would totally buy one of these! 
I hope your day gets better... |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
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KYgurlsrbest
True Blue Farmgirl
4853 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4853 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 06:57:02 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by _Rebecca_
I just feel like a heel. Why can't I just have perspective in the moment??? That would be nice. Or one of those mood rings and when it turns black I know to just break out some chocolate or play some relaxing music. Etc.
Poor thing! Let me just say we ALL feel like heels sometimes (me, more often than not :)....I think, that sometimes you just have to be where you are. That your husband has been extra nice tells me that he knows you're having a rough time. So, don't beat yourself up for being human. Just because you're a supermom, doesn't mean you have to be superhuman....
Sending you a much better afternoon!!!
Jonni
"In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt." Margaret Atwood
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Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 06:57:44 AM
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((((HUGS)))) to you and am so sorry the day started so rough! I do so hope it gets better! As much as we love our children and our job as mom which equals care giver/teacher/nurse/waitress/maid/peace keeper/motivator/etc... it gets hard and overwhelming when so much is demanded from one person, so please do continue to take time for you and try and get some down time ( I know I know.... its hard!!) so you can breath and relax and just be you for a moment! I am sending bright peaceful happy thoughts your way and hoping for a beautiful day!
Hugz!
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 06:59:16 AM
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| Hugs to you Rebecca. I raised 4 and even tho they are adults now I can remember those days! I have funny story from back then... I took all four little ones to the mall- not a fun trip. The kids were tired and cranky, I was tired and cranky. We get almost to the car when one of them decides they have to go potty RIGHT NOW!. So I drag them all to the potty. Hold the door to the potty closed with my foot so the 5 year old could have privacy, holding a screaming baby and tryng to watch a couple of toddlers. ANYWAYS! This sweet little old lady comes in looks at me smiles and says,"Oh honey! These are the best years of your life!" She walks out and I just start sobbbing!!!!!!Everyone has those rough days, and now I can tell my 27 year old daughter who was the 5 year old in that story when shes having a rough day with her 2. THIS TOO SHALL PASS! I think that quote should be painted somewhere in every mom's house! Good luck to you HUGS! |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 07:03:08 AM
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Thanks for cheering me up, you guys are awesome. I love the fact that I can talk to you all about stuff like this and the things you share are such good medicine.
Yup, now the baby is crying....again. He's having a rough morning too. : ( And I'm supposed to have showered by now and he is bawling, so maybe I'll put him in the highchair in my bathroom. *sigh*
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. |
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Meg
Moderator/Farmgirl True
974 Posts
Meg
Idaho
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 10:11:20 AM
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Feeling for you and wishing for you for a few moments for yourself today. Hugs...
MaryJane's daughter,
Meg
megan@maryjanesfarm.org |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 10:32:45 AM
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Rebecca-
*hugs* I only have the one so far, so I don't know how it is when you have four, but I sympathize. Sometimes there is nothing worse than the baby crying when you are doing all you can! Yesterday I didn't get to take my shower until 5pm because I had a sick fiance to deal with!
I think you are doing great! Soon the weather will be sunny and the older kids will be out playing. Tonight the baby will probably sleep so soundly and you will get all caught up on your rest :) Or at least that is what I hoping for you!
*hugs!*
Alee
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 10:51:27 AM
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He's definitely sleep deprived. He, I think, also ate a piece of paper or something, he had a diaper a while ago and he was so mad!! It looked like he was a bit chapped, so I slathered him in a ton of ointment and held him and rocked him. Poor guy. He's cutting teeth too and he's had a cold, he's usually quite the trooper, but maybe this has tested even his limits. : ) And I can't find the non-madicated nasal spray. Argh. I guess I will pick some more up at the store. He's out of his favorite types of baby food too, so I have to get that as well.
And today I have to take my son for a make-up school picture (my 8 year old) because he had the flu for pic day and it's a studio here in our city, so I'll go do that this afternoon. I finally got my shower, thank goodness. I can handle more stress when I'm clean. It's a mental thing. : )
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. |
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Leezard
True Blue Farmgirl
950 Posts
Elizabeth
Novi
MI
USA
950 Posts |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 12:06:53 PM
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honey, many hugs to you. Take some time for YOU. Im sorry & I hope you have a better day.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 12:46:28 PM
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Rebecca- You have made think of a song by Michael McLean. Every mother has these days. You are not alone. (((HUGS)))
Karin
A Lullaby For Me
This hasn't been the day that I would call my best.
I'd give myself a failing grade if this had been a test.
I did not comfort you when you were all alone.
I was to busy crying through some problems of my own.
Today I have not been the mom you needed me to be,
And tonight I wish that you could sing a lullaby for me.
I'm glad that you can sleep, I wish that I could too.
I'm sorry that today I wasn't really there for you.
I must have slipped away, to some far distant land,
Where I'm the child who cries until her mother takes her hand.
Tomorrow I'll reclaim my proper place,
I'll tuck you in and gently kiss your face.
I'll do the things a mom's supposed to do,
And I'll know what those things should be
'Cause tonight I need them too.
This hasn't been a day that I want to repeat.
I'm sorry I could only say "I'm sorry." while you sleep.
Today I have not been the mom you needed me to be.
And tonight I wish that you could sing a lullaby for me.
Tonight I need someone to sing a lullaby for me.
Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl
367 Posts
Shannon
Independence
Oregon
USA
367 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 1:22:40 PM
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I feel for you, Rebecca. This is the second week of the nastiest cold and rainy weather. Yesterday I flew off the handle at my 3yr daughter for picking all the leaves off of an heirloom tomato seedling. It was way over kill and I almost started crying. A couple hours later she said "Sorry Mama for hurting your plant"
It melted my heart, then I alomost started crying again for being so mean.
Just know your not alone.
http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/ |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 1:37:21 PM
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Everyone is entitled to having a steam blower offer!! Don't worry, you didn't scar your child for life! She hopefully will think twice before smashing your finger again. It is OK to lose your cool on occasion. Nobody is perfect and you know what we can only be as good as we can be in each moment, so don't sweat it, let it go!!
Here you need another one of these: (((((((((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))))))))))))
Oh, and I'll buy one of those mood rings too!
EAT SOME CHOCOLATE!!!
G
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 1:55:17 PM
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Rebecca-
I am so glad you got your shower- I know I always handle stress better when I am clean too! I think it sounds like you are an awesome mom. Hopefully your little trooper starts feeling better soon! Maybe the car ride will help put him to sleep a little bit.
Alee |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 2:52:32 PM
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That song is too close to home. Whoa!
This lady I knew when I was pregnant with my first child told me (something someone else had told her) that once you give birth you need to "pack your guilt bags because you're going on a guilt trip!"
Yeah, I've really come to know that it TOTALLY TRUE!!!
Oh, somedays I'm supermom and somedays I don't like myself and I'm rotten and miserable and feel pretty awful. But, then I always think that no one would love them as much as I do and I keep on keepin' on.
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 6:29:36 PM
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The first day I felt horrible as a mom was a little over a week home from the hospital. Nora's fingernails had grown enough that she was scratching herself so I waited till she was asleep to clip her fingernails. I accidentally made her bleed (just a tiny bit!!) on one of her fingers. Luckily she didn't even wake up so she didn't know- but I felt like the world's most horrible mom.
I know it is kind of silly since she wasn't really hurt much, but I guess as moms we just always want to make life better and happier for our kids, so when they are hurt or we over react it makes us feel that much worse.
I hope your baby sleeps better tonight. Perhaps tomorrow will be sunny too!
Alee
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2007 : 8:34:44 PM
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Rebecca,
I'll just chime in and assure you that every Momma does indeed have those days. I remember when my boys were 1,4 and 8 and we were in the middle of building a house. I had no family close by. Hubby was working long hours to make extra money, and I was in charge of everything else, including overseeing construction. I just remember crying a lot and telephoning hubby too many times to count! LOL It was probably the hardest time I can remember in my life.
Children are indeed a blessing, but raising them well will take everything you've got. My husband always says that good parenting is 99% perseverance. I think that's so true. You can't judge the job you are doing by one day or even a month...We are in it for the long haul and it's the end result that we are working toward every day.
Here's another ((HUG)) to keep you going...wish I were there to give you a real one and help you out! Know that you are not alone Rebecca-even when t feels that way.
Blessings,
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2007 : 07:52:32 AM
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Rebecca, I'm really late on adding my 2 cents, but the other posters are so right. We all have those moments. Those are the things that happen that cause the infamous "mommy guilt". 
I hope things are better and less stressful for you. Take care of yourself!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
Please visit me at www.marykay.com/pmiinch |
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Tracey
True Blue Farmgirl
766 Posts
Tracey
State of Confusion
USA
766 Posts |
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lamamama
True Blue Farmgirl
255 Posts
Melanie
CA
USA
255 Posts |
Posted - Apr 20 2007 : 12:50:05 AM
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Here is another (((((((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))) for you, Rebecca!
All of us Moms have been there, done that. And I just have to confess - in the spirit of honesty - that I have let loose with some real whoppers of the blowing off steam variety. Nothing I'm proud of, certainly, & quite a few I remain very ashamed of. What you describe sounds routine, something we've all done. If you really feel it is important, tell your dear kids you are sorry, & let them know why & what (it words they can understand) precipitated it. Then reassure them that you love them, & that the whole thing is done with. Then let life go on. It will all be OK.
Hang in there, & try to do just a little something for yourself today.
Melanie |
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Across the Fence: very bad morning |
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very bad morning
You need some relax time. Showers are nice, but baths are divine! Can your hubby handle the four of them for an hour so you can take a bubble break?