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Across the Fence:  Oh Times, How Are They A-Changing!  |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 23 2020 : 10:50:19 AM
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I was sitting here in my husband’s recliner this morning, wrapped up in his favorite throw, reflecting on all the upcoming exciting and new changes we are looking forward to this year… graduations, weddings, babies… My already must-do filled calendar is quickly becoming overloaded with the happiest things life has to hold. SO exciting! SUCH a blessing! Isn’t it funny how one moment you’re changing diapers; the next you’re running alongside a two-wheeler; the next your car keys are missing; the next the hard-earned tassle is being transferred; the next the wedding bells are chiming; and then the babies come…
Oh! NO! I’m sorry, not my son! But I have the feeling all of that will be forthcoming. It’s just a feeling. He has found love. REAL love. There have been others, but… this feels different. A lovely young woman has entered his life who has transformed him somehow. At 23, he’s still my sweet boy, still my ornery knucklehead, still my pride and joy, still the bane of my existence. (Lol. Just kidding on that last one.) Even though he is still all those things to me, he is changed by the presence of this new person in his life. There is part of him emerging that I have never really seen before – not in this particular way. It’s exciting. I see him putting her needs first, protecting her, caring for her, being thoughtful about her...not in that giddy-kiddy-puppy-love sort of way. In the TRUE sense of the word. I see LOVE love. He is softer with her, gentler, kinder…his big ol’ tough guy heart walls are melting. His true manhood is emerging. His eyes are different. His SMILE is different. I actually hear music when they’re together, and I wonder: does he? He says, “Mom, I don’t know – there is just something different about her. I don’t want to say too much soas not to jinx anything, though.” Then he laughs at the ridiculousness of that comment while looking in the distance, as if he sees a future bigger and greater now than he had imagined before. There is a comfort between the two of them; a familiarity of souls, as if they have known each other beyond forever. An ease. A peace. A meaningfulness. It’s just… like he says… different.
Could this be the one I have prayed for since before he was born? Could this be the one who joins with him, hand-in-hand, to forge new exciting life-paths together? The mother of his babies? My grandchildren? Could this be the one who takes up the baton, with whom I share all the memories, the pictures, the mementos of his past, and who will share with me the snippets of his future? I’m not sure. I swear I am not trying to make more of what is actually there, or rush things, but this feeling just keeps filling my heart and this song keeps ringing in my ears. This time is very different. Holy, in a way.
That’s it! There is a HOLINESS between the two of them!
That’s the perfect description: there is a holiness.
I feel very much like I need to prepare for something… Perhaps for fully letting go? Exciting? Absolutely! Yet deeply heartfelt and bittersweet. There will be a re-defining of our relationship as father and mother and son, which is always ongoing, to be honest; but now, quite possibly as in-laws as well. It’s a bit awkward trying to figure out how we fit in now. Not that we are being excluded – far from it! We are loved, no question about that. But there is a sense that we need to step back, if that makes sense. I’m taking my own mother’s cues and just allow him to be. Just be. Accept. Love. Don’t interject. Be there with open heart and arms. Be there with a kitchen full of good things for when they grace us with their presence so they might be tempted to stay just… a little while… longer. Be there with the recipes. Be there with the family history and pictures. Be there with Kleenex for both the happy and the sad that comes. Never intrude. Never judge. Never interject. Advise ever so gently, but only only ONLY when asked, and, even then, only when absolutely necessary. Try instead to pose their own questions back to them, leading them to realize their own answers. Always do my best to gently veer their hearts back toward love. Just be there as a beacon of love and hope and support and comfort. My Mom taught me well. Even thought it’s really kind of scary to entrust another completely with my child’s heart, I will just pray… a LOT. TWICE as much, if not exponentially.
Oh times, how are they a-changing!
How exciting as life’s beauty unfolds!
Weaving a tapestry of colorful splendor
That enriches and dresses the soul!
The past is the fabric of quality.
The future is the fabric yet wove.
Appreciate the hand of time felt in the cloth -
The continuity of Holiness and love!
Happy Son-Day, sisters! I think I'm going to take a minute and go hug mine!
Love and Hugs –
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on Feb 23 2020 11:02:03 AM |
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StitchinWitch
True Blue Farmgirl
2249 Posts
Judith
Galt
CA
USA
2249 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2020 : 11:04:24 AM
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Good words, Nini. I wish the best for your son and his girlfriend. Yes, they grow up so fast. It doesn't seem that long ago that I saw my grandson born; now he is in college and moved in with his girlfriend; something unheard-of when I was his age. Times have changed. When they get to a certain age you have to just let go and hope for the best and trust that you have given them the right upbringing to make the right choices. Many the times I have bitten my tongue bloody to not say what I think about something but it paid off in the long run (at least for two of mine).
Judith
7932
Happiness is Homemade |
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LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2020 : 11:27:32 AM
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Oh, Nini...that was a beautiful reflection of a Mother's Heart!!! I loved every word...and have lived every word. I raised three boys...feeling those same thoughts.
Draw him closer to your heart...while allowing those wings of love to unfold and set him Free! I was blessed with the best three boys in the World...and yet they
are all so different and far from perfect. I Love them ALL...but they have brought both pain and joy to my heart over the years. But never have I loved them more
as I do now that they are grown men. I can fully enjoy them Adult to Adult and not feel responsible for them anymore. That is between them and God. I get to
just enjoy them as the men they have become. And you too will find the Freedom of that...and the beauty of accepting that special woman in his life and
watch them make something out of nothing as you once did. I am Happy for you dear friend!!! Yes, Things Are A Changing...and it will be good and wonderful!!
Love, Hugs, And Joy,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
Member since Feb. 2010
Dec 2011-Farmgirl of the Month
Aug 2018-Farmgirl of the Month
LOVE YOU TO THE BEACH AND BACK!
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
6594 Posts
Winnie
Gainesville
Fl
USA
6594 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2020 : 07:03:10 AM
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Nini, your sentiments resonate with all of us Mothers, I think. It is both worrisome and joyful to watch our kids grow to adulthood and select the kind of lifestyle and people they wish to have. My mother always told us kids that her job was to give us roots and wings to fly on our own and make our own choices and decisions. While I appreciated her wisdom, I found it hard to let go of my girls and follow her advice. I did follow and I see now that it was the best decision for them. But IT WAS SO HARD AT TIMES!! LOL!!! I hope your son will find his path and happiness that he deserves and desires. It is both exciting to watch and hard when things don't work out. But they must learn to navigate without us for we won't always be here. Enjoy the journey with him!
Winnie #3109
Red Tractor Girl
Farm Sister of the Year 2014-2015
FGOTM- October 2018 |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9331 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9331 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2020 : 07:05:31 AM
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Nini, such a blessing! I hope I can say the same when that special someone comes into my son's life.
~Denise
Sister #43~1/18/2007
"Home is where we find comfort, security, memories, friendship, hospitality, and above all, family. It is the place that deserves our commitment and loyalty." William J. Bennett
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Mar 05 2020 : 11:35:09 PM
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Thanks, girls... We had lunch the other day, and I just fell in love with her myself! We are both looking forward to our next outing: tea!!! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Across the Fence: Oh Times, How Are They A-Changing! |
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Oh Times, How Are They A-Changing!
