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Family Matters: Never Calls |
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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl
369 Posts
Katie
Bangor
Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2017 : 06:13:06 AM
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Hi all. I was wondering if any of you have a similar problem as I do. My son who is 28 and live 6 hours away, borrowed quite a sum of money from my parents with the agreement that he would pay them $200/month back. I told my mom at that time he could not afford that. Anyway, instead of paying $100 or even $10/month he has paid nothing. This was 4 months ago and he has not been in contact with any of us. The only way I know he is alive is because I contact his girlfriend once in awhile to make sure (I don't want to get her in the middle so I don't overdo this.) He does suffer from bipolar. He is un-medicated. And, I am sad.
Sorry to vent; I just needed to get it off my shoulders a little bit and see if anyone else has gone through something similar and see if anyone has any suggestions. I am ready to drive to Pittsburgh and knock on his door or show up at his work!
Katie #7422 Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden. |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3957 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3957 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2017 : 09:50:15 AM
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I believe that a friendly call to your son's phone (I assume that he doesn't answer either.) saying that you will be in town for a day and want to have dinner with him. Set a date and go. Do not wait for him to confirm. A couple days ahead of time, confirm the dinner with his girlfriend and invite her too. Get a look at him and at his place, take a picture with him and of him. If you believe that he is a danger to himself or others, he can be placed in a mental institution by a person who is his next of kin. Because he is an adult, he has to consent to have further treatment. How to bring up the money problem is a tricky one. In my experience, this money may never be paid back.
I am so sorry for all the worry.
Marie, Sister #5142 Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Tumbleweed
True Blue Farmgirl
1036 Posts
Nancy
Texas
USA
1036 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2017 : 8:28:34 PM
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Hi Katie... Sorry to hear about your situation. I like Marie's idea to invite him to dinner and talk. I will keep you in prayer.
TW
The fun begins where the pavement ends! |
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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl
369 Posts
Katie
Bangor
Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2017 : 07:13:36 AM
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We decided between tolls and gas and a hotel that the expense of maybe not seeing him was too much. I just have to keep trying and keep praying he's alright. My mom said yesterday that he's almost 30 and things we'll change soon; I sure hope so, for her sake if nothing else. She won't be around forever, nor will my father and I want them to know that he's alright.
Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers!
Katie #7422 Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden. |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2017 : 1:24:02 PM
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Praying for you, Katie. Keep us posted. Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl
369 Posts
Katie
Bangor
Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts |
Posted - Aug 11 2017 : 06:16:53 AM
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Thank you Marly, the prayers mean a lot! Still no word
Katie #7422 Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden. |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2017 : 12:37:29 PM
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Still praying for you and your parents, Katie. Hugs to all of you. Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3957 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3957 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2017 : 10:55:55 AM
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Prayers are all well and good. I believe that this lad needs some direct confrontation and has to be made aware of some consequences. It had always helped me to be confronted in that way.
Marie, Sister #5142 Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2017 : 2:18:55 PM
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Continued prayers and hugs. Keep us posted. Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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farmgirl68
True Blue Farmgirl
369 Posts
Katie
Bangor
Pennsylvania
USA
369 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2017 : 11:26:01 AM
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Yeah, I'm to the point of direct confrontation but don't want to and can't make the 6 hour drive to Pittsburgh to do that and, because he never calls, I can't do it over the phone. I'm stuck. I just hope he realizes that his grandparents won't be alive forever and that he will be very sorry if he lets this go. That will be a reality he won't want to live with.
Katie #7422 Friends are the flowers that bloom in life's garden. |
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Family Matters: Never Calls |
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