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A Farm of My Own:  This is hard  |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 12 2017 : 5:30:06 PM
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I have always wanted to live on a farm. In 2005 that dream came true when we bought this house. It hasn't been easy, but this is hardest of all. We are going to put the farm up for sale sometime in 2018. Son will be going away to college and he won't be around to help me. I've talked about my husband's health before - the diabetes, the heart problems, the numbness in the lower 2/3s of his body. Well, we don't have a confirmed diagnoses just yet, but the neurosurgeon is saying he's had a spinal stroke. He can still walk, but he falls frequently. He fell out of the tractor over the summer and I thought he was a goner. He can't find a job because of this - he's high risk for injury and no one will hire him. He fell from a height of about 5 foot a few weeks ago from a ladder he shouldn't have been on. He hit is head on a pile of concrete blocks. It knocked the artificial lens loose in his eye and now he's having trouble seeing. He's been denied disability 5 times - 6th hearing is in early February.
We talked about how he hasn't been able to keep up with the farm work like cutting, splitting and stacking wood, cleaning out the garage, cleaning out the barns, gardening - the list goes on and on. I told him that we had to sell and move to something/somewhere way smaller. Something that I could handle taking care of while still working full time. I still want to keep my ponies and a handful of chickens, but we don't need 18 acres to do that. I am terribly sad that we would be leaving a house that was custom designed by us after the original house burned down. I have this place set up the way I wanted it. I know I can set up other houses the way I want, but this house - with all the weird stuff that has happened here - this was OUR house - no one lived in this house before we did. We have lived on this property for nearly 12 years.
While figuring all this out, I am also waiting to hear if I got a new job closer to home. Still with the state police, but about 30 minutes closer. Right now I drive an hour each way. Love the job, but dang. I've been trying very hard to keep us afloat on my meager salary, but the drain is getting closer to sucking me in.
While the house will not need any work to be ready to sell, the land is another story. We had close to 80 trees cut down in 2015. It's now 2017 and this place still looks like a tornado when through yesterday. I bought myself a small - lady sized chainsaw last year for Christmas, but there are more things to cut up than days in a year!! You see, when we had the trees cut, we sold the trunks for the wood and they left all the tops. It's crazy. Last weekend, we burned 7 large brush piles and it doesn't look like we did anything. I wanted to work outside more this weekend, but it is so muddy I feel it would be too dangerous to run the saws. I will probably still go out and try to burn more brush piles or split wood.
I suppose a lot of people downsize when the kids leave the house, but I really thought we would be here for the long haul. Oh - I do need to rehome a mule and a 19 year old quarter horse. So, yeah.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2017 : 6:29:55 PM
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Oh, Lora... I know there are no words, but... Wrapping my arms around you in prayer, sister... Stay strong... Much love, Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
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dena91
True Blue Farmgirl
181 Posts
Dena
Pennsylvania
USA
181 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2017 : 7:20:53 PM
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Lora, Changes like this are so hard! Our boys are growing and moving away too - I have had to make similar decisions and i have felt so sad as well.
Hoping and praying that you and your husband can make the transition as smoothly as possible.
Hugs,
Dena
Farmgirl 5620 |
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Tumbleweed
True Blue Farmgirl
1036 Posts
Nancy
Texas
USA
1036 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2017 : 9:24:12 PM
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Hi Lora
My heart is breaking for you and your family. Prayers that things get better soon.
Xoxoxo
TW
The fun begins where the pavement ends! |
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craftingram
True Blue Farmgirl
526 Posts
Karin
Nashville
In
USA
526 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2017 : 06:17:06 AM
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Lora, I am so sorry that your husband's health is deteriorating so quickly and that you have to give up your beloved farm. I know there are no words that can help much. Know that you are being kept in prayer.
Karin
Sister #2708
Romans 8: 38,39 |
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
6663 Posts
Winnie
Gainesville
Fl
USA
6663 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2017 : 06:53:27 AM
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Lora, I hope you and your family will be able to find some good solutions for your life going forward in this new year. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for clarity and better solutions.
Winnie #3109
Red Tractor Girl
Farm Sister of the Year 2014-2015 |
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Marilyn Hartman Sullivan
True Blue Farmgirl
1138 Posts
Marilyn
Oxford
PA
USA
1138 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2017 : 09:09:24 AM
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Oh dear Lora -- (which, by the way, was the name of a Hoosier great-aunt of mine!) Sometimes life makes us wonder, doesn't it? Dude and I have been working on our home for the past few years -- big remodel, new garage in the works, etc. We PLAN to live here forever and hopefully we will get to, but there's always that thought in the back of our minds -- what if, what if, what if. It sounds to me like you are handling this change with aplomb, and there is certainly a lot of work to do, but it sounds like you are making the right choices. I will hope for the new job for you and for improved health for your dear husband.
Farmgirl #6318
"Where there's a will -- there's probably a family fight." |
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suny58
True Blue Farmgirl
4407 Posts
Dianna
Jack
Al.
USA
4407 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2017 : 10:26:04 AM
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Hi Lora. I am new to the sisterhood AND to the country/farm life as well! ( a huge life change for me) I will tell you from experience that at my age there have been a few HEARTBREAKING fearful changes...major changes in my life where I thought "God how am I going to make it through this or WHY am I having to go through this or WHY ARE THINGS CHANGING"? But I can tell you at 57 when I look back on those events in my life I wonder why did I ever fear or fret so much or even hold on so tight because I can see now where they have lead me to an even better path in my life I would have never known had I not gone through those experiences. I hate you and you family are hurting and struggling but please know this one thing....YOU are amazing and can turn 'life's lemonade' into blessings beyond measure! Life is a journey, an adventure. Embrace it and know that you have a strong support group of 'sister's' here with Mary Jane. We are lifting you up to the ONE who knows and sees all things from the beginning to the end and creates a work of art out of our lives...if we let Him. Can't wait to hear how positively wonderful this chapter ends and the new one begins! hugs from the heart,
Farmgirl #7703
Dianna
"Blessed are they that see beautiful things in humble places, where other people see nothing." Pissarro |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2017 : 10:42:59 AM
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Lora- Just an idea, but is there a possibility you could petition to a local 4-H group or something for a farm clean up day? Or maybe put an ad online for a kid that wants to ride horses to come out and earn horse back rides for work around the place? Have you looked into Farm-Aid? I hear what you are saying about expenses, and downsizing might be the answer, but in order to get the money out of your property that you deserve, it sounds like you need some help. I know that a friend of mine that has a horse ranch often has people who are very interested in helping for free or very very cheap just for the benefit of being around animals. Another idea would be to put an ad out to see if anyone wants to come chip the tree tops for landscaping or even bedding for animals. Sometimes someone else might have a need (like needing the wood material) and you have a need (getting the wood material gone) that can help each other out. *hugs* Hope something breaks loose for you soon where things might get easier.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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MaryJanesNiece
True Blue Farmgirl
7231 Posts
Krista
Utah
USA
7231 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2017 : 12:33:43 PM
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Lora, I agree with Alee. There may be someone who is actually in need of what you are trying to get rid of. Maybe try some of those ideas out. I'm sorry to hear that things are tough for you. My heart hurts for you and I wish I had a solution to help out. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping that everything will turn out for the best. May your husband feel better soon.
Krista |
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lovinRchickens
True Blue Farmgirl
3492 Posts
Kelly
Pipe Creek
Texas
USA
3492 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2017 : 12:04:29 PM
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Lora
I too will be praying for some good answers to come your way.
Farmgirl #5111
Farmgirl of the month October 2014
Blessings
~Kelly~ |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2017 : 12:39:12 PM
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Oh Lora,
I am so sorry to hear you are all going through so much. You poor dear, and your poor dh. Hang in there. I know things are very hard. Glad you can post to us. Prayers and hugs!
Farmgirl Hugs,
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Farmgirl of the Month, January 2013
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/
www.facebook.com/suburbanfarmgirlblogger |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9436 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9436 Posts |
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LilDebbie
True Blue Farmgirl
107 Posts
Debbie
Days Creek
Oregon
USA
107 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2017 : 9:21:08 PM
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| HUGS Lora. I am new but also lifting you and your family in my prayers. Praying for a job closer and for hubby's health. Keep looking upward. HUGS |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2017 : 12:57:45 PM
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I am praying for you Lora. Keep us posted.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Bonnie Ellis
True Blue Farmgirl
2474 Posts
Bonnie
Minneapolis
Minnesota
USA
2474 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2017 : 10:20:05 PM
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Lora, lis is just so darn tough sometimes. So very sorry about hubbys health. But your decision, though a hard one may be the best. Just a thought, could you get a part time job helping out on someone else's farm? It would keep you close to the land . As we go through life there are some tough decisions to make. I find myself re-inventing who I am a lot because of health. You are in my prayers.
grandmother and orphan farmgirl |
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TexasGran
True Blue Farmgirl
4919 Posts
Marilyn
Stephenville
Texas
USA
4919 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2017 : 08:55:18 AM
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Lora, I just came across this story. Did your husband get the disability he needs when it came up in February?
Could you find some boys who need to earn money, who could cut the wood to sell as firewood, then you could burn the little stuff.
Also could you sell off all but one to three acres? If you are not too far out of town you might be able to sell to a developer who would build new homes for families on 1-3 acre plots. Or sell it in small bits gradually yourself. We are five miles from the city limits...but in the last three years two developments have gone in a mile further out than we are. Small acreage brings big bucks around here.
My husband is 74, has had back surgery three times and is not able to do much either. I am still working at 73, but next year I will go back to sub work. That way I will be at home more. I can not keep up with house and yard by myself, and be gone every day. I understand. Prayers and hugs.
TexasGran
#6389
Let God's light shine through you every day.
Amazon Children's Books, look for my name:Marilyn Robinson Godfrey
Craftsy: patterns for farm stick animals under my name.
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1Anne
True Blue Farmgirl
99 Posts
Anne
Lebanon
CT
USA
99 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2017 : 8:13:46 PM
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Lora - So sorry to hear about your situation. Change is hard, especially when it's a change we don't want. Hang in there and know that many prayers are going your way. Anne
Yes, in God I trust. |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2017 : 07:17:41 AM
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Dh did not get a hearing for disability in February. It was delayed for another 18months. I basically forced him to get a job or we were going to lose the house anyway. He's been working for 4 weeks now and just got his first check.
We are already looking at other properties closer to Indy. DS has finally accepted that we are going to sell no matter what. He's sad about it, but knows dh and I cannot take care of a property this big and work full time too. Thanks for all the suggestions and support. It means a lot.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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TexasGran
True Blue Farmgirl
4919 Posts
Marilyn
Stephenville
Texas
USA
4919 Posts |
Posted - May 31 2017 : 09:10:47 AM
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Best wishes for your future.
TexasGran
#6389
Let God's light shine through you every day.
Amazon Children's Books, look for my name:Marilyn Robinson Godfrey
Craftsy: patterns for farm stick animals under my name.
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A Farm of My Own: This is hard |
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This is hard
