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Across the Fence:  inconsiderate neighbors  |
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naturemaiden
True Blue Farmgirl
2569 Posts
Connie - Farmgirl #673
Hoosick Falls
NY
USA
2569 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 02:31:03 AM
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We have rented this house for about 7.5 years now. In about maybe 5-7 years we will be buying our own home. In the meantime I've been at my wits end with people.
The neighborhood I live in has always been relatively quiet, except for 1 neighbor 2 houses over, that always had to be the loudest on the block, literally. (my husband went to school with him and said he's always been loud). Four people have moved since we've been here, and the 5th is moving out now. Part of the reason she is moving is because of the neighbor next to me (& across from her). At one point she even came to me insisting we rally the other neighbors to confront the one next to me. I told her it was pointless, because if they cared, they wouldn't be disruptive in the first place.
This neighbors house next to me is their 2nd home. They come from the city. They use the house for parties. About a year ago we had to endure months of construction as they put their pool in. Now all it is are loud parties with music, and kids screaming. Working from home, it makes it very stressful for me. Even with the windows and doors closed, and the tv on, all i hear is their music. Well after enduring it for so long, I finally (with one of my sons), went to ask them to please turn it down.
The wife came out with her cousin. I tried to be calm, but the cousin got involved and things got heated. In the end I kept my composure, but was upset for days after that. I never wanted a confrontation, but was at the end of my rope. It's like living next to a vineyard, and I told them so. While they did turn the music off that day, they have since still turned it back up with no regard for anyone.
Last year they had a beatles cover band playing, and had a party. The music was SO loud, it could be heard blocks away. (it literally was like being in the front row of a concert it was that bad). Several neighbors called the cops. When the cops came they lowered it, but when they left, they turned the volume back up and the cops came again.
Where I live was once all potato farms and rural spread. Now it's vineyards and brewery's and drunk driving. Maybe you heard last year, when four women were killed in a limo last year by a drunk driver as they left a vineyard, that happened just a few minutes from my house.
When we buy our home, there will be acreage, NOT neighbors.
The 1 guy who use to be the only loud one, has since calmed down. Go figure. If you know anything about the north and south forks of long island, southampton is 'rich', and the north fork (where I live) is being taken over and is being turned into the south fork. We can't leave here soon enough, we just hate it. My husband was born in this town and he can't believe the changes.
It's suppose to rain most of the day today and I'm hoping they went back home. How do you handle inconsiderate people?
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Artisan Soap
http://saratoga-rose.blogspot.com/ My published books & other writing.
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ Vintage Sewing Machine Parts
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Edited by - naturemaiden on Jul 29 2016 02:36:18 AM |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 07:17:14 AM
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I completly understand your problems...so frustrating..
Ok...y'all are going to think I am evil but we have very VERY VERY nosy neighbors...It's the parents on one side of us and the son, 2 houses down. Things started out nice but the son spends his WHOLE day gossiping about people. He stops to talk to people in their yards and annoys the heck out of them. The final straw for me was he gossiped about us..and then tried to come between me and my husband..not a good idea. We have taken the ignore them at all costs approach and so far, it's working. The mother had a moment of being nosy when I had a party for the LEO's to come visit my hubby...he was hurt and I set up something fun. We had a water slide thingy for the kids and after not talking them to almost a year THAT DAY she had to show up and find out what was going on, with the excuse that she thought it was my son's b-day. Um...who interrupts a party of unknown reason to barge into a party...She didn't expect 6 cops standing behind me, glaring at her. LOL This is a reason I want a house that has some land around it..even an acre..these people can see right into my yard and there house is less than 20 feet from ours..I hate cookie cutter homes :(
Second neighbor had a dog,,that was always getting out, she was leaving in the heat and storms..we even took it in one night when it stormed so bad, it flooded. We texted her and she didn't even care about the dog. After months of listening to this dog bark and howl all nigh and it escaped 10 more times...I took it to a friends farm for adoption. I know..but that poor dog had nails longer than 2 inches and was covered in mud and fleas. She didn't even ask where it went or cared.
I guess my point is do what you need to do to survive. Where we live used to be a quiet country town and they are putting up cookie cutters faster than I can blink. They put up businesses so fast, they go out of business in a year and then it's an empty store front on what was beautiful land. It's affordable because the houses are cheap and fast and people don't care about upkeep. I am no fuddy duddy but dude, you need to mow your lawn and maybe power wash your house once in a while. We have a group who bully everyone at the community pool and I am not kidding, the are part of the Mexican Mafia we have here in Texas. We are having a hard time finding affordable land in Texas that is close to work. We are thinking we may have to buy a house in the better neighborhood with the smallest floorplan. You don't see the extra cars parked all over the streets, the houses are cared for and there is space..like 1 to 2 acres, in between houses. It is sad this is what it's come too for us.
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naturemaiden
True Blue Farmgirl
2569 Posts
Connie - Farmgirl #673
Hoosick Falls
NY
USA
2569 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 07:23:21 AM
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Heather, my former neighbor was VERY nosy and gossipy. She left last fall, the new neighbors let the property go. Before the previous owner left all she did was gossip to me about everyone else, I hated that. Though we started out friendly when I first moved here (she had lived here for 40 years), in the end I avoided her because she drove me nuts. Calling me, asking me who is at my house, same thing as you describe, finding any excuse to pry. When she was selling her house she asked me to go onto HER property and trim wild vines that were growing up through her trees. I told her no. I had had enough. I was dumb enough to do it a couple of years prior, but in reality, its a mass of wild growth, and why is it MY responsibility. Her excuse was 'the new owners complained about it'. She's was a liar because the new owners let the lawn grow wild and have NO idea what a weed wacker is. SIGH, I just keep thinking about my house in the woods I'll have one day...
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Artisan Soap
http://saratoga-rose.blogspot.com/ My published books & other writing.
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ Vintage Sewing Machine Parts
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 07:29:39 AM
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It got so bad that EVERY TIME I would go outside, the son would go walking by and practically fall over himself trying to get my attention. They wanted to come landscape our front garden with pavers, because they thought it would look better with white ones.. WHACKO!!!! I am not as nice as I used to be. When she showed up, she was making all kinds of excuses. She started talking about her surgery and how she has been stuck at home..the old me would have sympathized, the new me said I said I have guests and I need to go..and closed the door.
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 08:50:49 AM
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Oh my gosh, Connie - my heart breaks for you! Where we live, all the houses are so close together that we can all reach out our windows and grab hands, but for the most part, we are all very aware and respectful of others' privacy and personal space (including hearing space). We have had times where some neighbors have gotten pretty raucous in the wee hours, but it's such a rarity, and usually on holidays like the 4th of July when you anticipate loud celebrations into the wee hours. I have to ask, though, aren't there some sort of local ordinances on the books in your area concerning noise? I know a lot of communities have them, and if yours does, it's time for you and your neighbors to act! That is ridiculous. How absolutely rude, inconsiderate and classless that those people do that to all of you. When we were kids living on Cape Cod, if we even had birthday parties, we would go to our neighbors homes the week beforehand, let them know we were hosting a party on a given date and at what times, invite them to stop by if for a visit, and give them a paper with our phone number on it to call if we were to get out of hand or disturb their peace. We never had any problem - we tried to be very respectful. But my Mom always drove it home to us that this was an important, respectful courtesy to our neighbors. Further, we lived far enough apart that we didn't know everyone super well. If anyone had an invalid or a baby at home, we might not know, but we sure wouldn't want to disturb them. I just can't get over these people brazenly coming in without any regards to anyone else. Sounds like they could care less. That must be horrible. I will pray that God helps you in this present circumstance, but also that your dream home and the ability to purchase it and move comes very, very soon. Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3329 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3329 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2016 : 11:22:12 AM
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Wow. I can TOTALLY relate to the stories shared here. We bought our house over 20-years ago in what was considered one of the best blocks in town. The apt complex--very tastefully built is right across the street from us. About 4 years ago renters on the state's dime moved in and all hell broke loose. The complex at the time housed retiree's who were old school-very considerate-quiet and clean. Not a problem ever! Since the latest renters have moved in ---one very sweet lady who has lived there longer than we have been in our house packed it up and moved away because she just couldn't deal with it a minute longer. It's been constant very verbal filthy yelling and screaming, cars with radios blasting and a barrage of police officers responding to either domestic disputes or whatever it seems every other week or so. Since the kids have flown the coop I constantly check the homes for sale ads within a 50 mile radius so that we can leave this place. My husband wants to stay-He is not around during the day and often out of town especially on the weekends up to 'camp.' I explain to him constantly what I am put through with the noise, noise,noise. Finally, very recently he has agreed to seriously look for another place to live...for MY sanity's sake. It's so very sad what has become of my neighborhood. But, I have never been so ready to move in my life. My main requirements for a new home? I am insisting on having a LONG driveway -and small story 1/2 home away from EVERYONE- No trains, no ambulances, no police cars and definitely no renters within spitting distance. Hopefully, in a year or so I will have found my little piece of paradise...because ladies it is not here in town any longer.
Melody |
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guineahen
True Blue Farmgirl
86 Posts
Andrea
Hawley
Pa
USA
86 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2016 : 05:43:23 AM
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| We are blessed to live on almost 80 acres. One neighbor has hundreds of acres so no problem with them. An almost thousand acre hunting club borders much of our land so no problem with them. Our neighbors in back bought the place as a second home (my Grandpa sold that off before I was born). They live in NYC but he grew up on a sheep farm in Europe and we raise them chickens and lamb. However... the neighbors right next door are retired from NYC jobs and spend much of the time up here. I was friends with his Mother long gone now. They hate our animals and let us know it. Roosters crow and sheep blatt. They are not vegetarians but they are clueless. They have a driveway but have started to park in the lane between our houses. The lane is ours but the nice neighbors in back have right of way. The other neighbors block the lane so if a fire truck was needed... We endure their shouting and loud music. It's their attitude we could do without. |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Aug 08 2016 : 3:44:03 PM
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I can completely relate about inconsiderate neighbours, unfortunately some people think it's their right to make noise and some people just like to live their life loud (never considering that some of us like quiet).
Your area must have noise bylaws, I know it's a hard decision to get the bylaw enforcement officers involved but if you are at wits end maybe consider it.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world"
"The things that matter most are not really things after all" |
Edited by - knittingmom on Aug 08 2016 3:44:33 PM |
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NikisMom
True Blue Farmgirl
140 Posts
Julie
Framingham
MA
140 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 07:41:56 AM
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I can so relate to all of the stories. That is why in one year I am moving to Maine and will hopefully have ten to 20 acres with no near neighbors. I am single in soccer mom hell. The neighborhood has ostracized me as I garden and spend my time caring for my plants and vegetable.what is sad is they are teaching this hateful behavior to their childen, so another generation to not be an individual. Very sad.
My childhood neighborhood was not like this. Five families were so close and were in each others homes and yards. Hopefully, rural living will be different |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 08:07:37 AM
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Julie, that is so sad!! I have the same problem. I like to maintain my house and wave to neighbors and I thought I would be the house kids hang out at, but not after the boy down the street, who was 9 at the time, rode by on his bike and said he was going to pee pee on me..yep..sure did!! Then the other people let their dogs destroy my porch decorations at Christmas one year and I had it all on camera. And we supposedly live in a nice place.
I keep telling hubby we need to move WAYYYYYY out and I will just drive if I have too.
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MaryJanesNiece
True Blue Farmgirl
7243 Posts
Krista
Utah
USA
7243 Posts |
Posted - Aug 09 2016 : 11:38:45 AM
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It makes me so sad to read all your neighbor horror stories. I have been blessed to have good neighbors. The worse thing we have had is a non stop barking dog across the fence, but they seem to have started getting after the dog. I hope things will turn around soon for you and you can find some peace with your neighbors. Wish I could be of some better help. Good luck!
Krista |
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Tumbleweed
True Blue Farmgirl
1036 Posts
Nancy
Texas
USA
1036 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2017 : 4:40:06 PM
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I had to search for this topic as I neeed to know I am not the only one with rude selfish people living near by. I refuse to call this person a neighbor because he is not neighborly.
He had a party until 4am this morning and they are starting up again as I type.
He parks his huge truck in front of our house on trash day. Hubby tried to talk to him but he took an attitude.
When people go down our street a little too fast he yells at them SLOW DOWN AH OR B... I still live in the Burbs and our neighbor children do not need to hear that. This person has only been here since June and most the neighbors are put off by him already.
Hubby says I should stay calm about it but he is hard of hearing and can sleep through anything.
I can't wait to move. I know this sounds mean but I hope a large family with 10 or more kids buys our house.
Thanks for letting me vent. Trying to be adult about this but it is getting very hard to do.
TW
The fun begins where the pavement ends! |
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naturemaiden
True Blue Farmgirl
2569 Posts
Connie - Farmgirl #673
Hoosick Falls
NY
USA
2569 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2017 : 12:45:33 PM
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Nancy,
Wow, that's an older post of mine.
That's terrible, and I'm sorry you are going through that. Why are the husbands always the 'calmer ones'? My husband is hard of hearing too! LOL I'd be calling the cops if that was going on here at that early hour. It seems to me that some people just have no consideration for others. Sadly, I had posted again recently under 'No harvests this year', because its gotten so bad here, that my husband and I were unable to enjoy our back yard this year. It's an ongoing problem that just won't go away.
We're counting down the days to move too. I hope a large family with 10 or more kids does move into your house, LOL. It sure is hard to stay calm, but I've been taking advantage of the little quiet time I do get and make a point to meditate, which has been helping some. I don't know what the answer is, but I can understand how you feel, that's for sure.
FYI, since my last post about the neighbors, new construction has begun on the summer peoples home (20' from my bedroom window), half the house has been ripped off and is being redone! They start early and you hear equipment all day. They are probably loving the fact that even from afar, they are disrupting our lives. I also resent them because it's these city people who are buying all the houses out here, driving up prices, and making the rest of leave long island. We just had another $100 per month rent increase because of the 'price of housing', per the landlord.
I keep dreaming of my house in the woods.... :)
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Artisan Soap
http://saratoga-rose.blogspot.com/ My published books & other writing.
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ Vintage Sewing Machine Parts
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Edited by - naturemaiden on Nov 12 2017 12:51:54 PM |
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Tumbleweed
True Blue Farmgirl
1036 Posts
Nancy
Texas
USA
1036 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2017 : 2:56:51 PM
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Hi Connie, thanks for the understanding. I just needed to vent. This guy is under thirty and has rich parents. Probably never had to compromise ever.
Sorry you didn't get to enjoy your garden. We like to sit outside in our backyard the same.
TW
The fun begins where the pavement ends! |
Edited by - Tumbleweed on Nov 12 2017 2:57:43 PM |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1145 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1145 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2017 : 08:55:22 AM
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We had the same experience in town. I formed a neighborhood watch group, and I got the police involved. They even had an officer come talk to our group about how to cut down on crime and what to report. I got on the local news station after we had some punks come steal Christmas decorations up and down our street and we were broken into twice.
Even so, working with our city and police force was frustrating. So frustrating that we eventually moved. Sadly, many of the old homes are now filled with renters who don't care a thing about being neighborly. For that matter, neither did the landlords. We have about 4-5 known 'slum lords' in our town, and I know them all by name. I know where they live, their children, etc. Interesting how THEY live in the nicest neighborhoods, drive the most expensive vehicles, etc. Pretty sure they would not want their own renters living next door to THEM.
I found out who owns what by going through our county's CAD (appraisal district; it's all online and free!).
One time, we had a neighbor shoot off fireworks at midnight on the fourth of July. First of all, fireworks are illegal in town, second of all, it was 4th of July, not New Year's, so why at midnight? and then last of all, my baby had just fallen asleep. Word to the wise, do not mess with a mama bear. I marched myself right across the street and made some kind of incoherent, sleep deprived, new mother tirade and also called the police. My husband couldn't even catch up with me it happened so fast. Anyway, never heard a peep out of them again and then come to find out, he thought I was another lady (his next door neighbor) and gave her a verbal tirade of his own the next day. I didn't find that out until a couple of weeks later when she told me! Ha! Whoops! After that, my husband decided it was probably best to see if we could find some land.
We ended up moving away about two years afterwards. Granted, we did have some issues with a neighbor out here, but after a call to his landlord, not a peep. This was only after about 16 months of ridiculous behavior from people who don't even live there. Sheesh.
Praying that all of you can find your peace and quiet. I know how frustrating and stressful it can be. After we were burglarized twice, I lived with an enormous level of anxiety. It is no fun. Having noisy and inconsiderate neighbors in the mix did not help, either.
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.blog |
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Audra Rose
True Blue Farmgirl
2281 Posts
Vanessa
Brooksville
KY
USA
2281 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2017 : 11:29:39 AM
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One of the reasons I insisted on moving to the country was because of our neighbors who would have parties every weekend. They usually cut it off at a decent hour, but they parked their cars on the front yard and were generally trashy. The final straw was when we noticed that their poor dog had a swollen infected ear. My husband took her to animal control and let them know who she belonged to, but they didn't go get her. Our part of Kentucky is quiet, rural and the house & 4.25 acres cost less than our 3 bedroom place in Florida.
Farmgirl Sister #6754
Doxie Mom - Everyone loves a Weiner!
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1145 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1145 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2017 : 4:59:58 PM
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You know what we should do, right? WE all need to become neighbors! LOL! :D
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.blog |
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Tumbleweed
True Blue Farmgirl
1036 Posts
Nancy
Texas
USA
1036 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2017 : 7:22:04 PM
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Excellent idea Amanda! I am up with that Girl friend!
Next year can't come soon enough. 289 to the big R.
Thanks again Gals for your support. No matter how bad a day I have I know I can always count all y'all to cheer me up.
TW
The fun begins where the pavement ends! |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1145 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1145 Posts |
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naturemaiden
True Blue Farmgirl
2569 Posts
Connie - Farmgirl #673
Hoosick Falls
NY
USA
2569 Posts |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3957 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3957 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2017 : 05:19:51 AM
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I live in a 20 unit apartment and it is never that bad. Whenever I have thrown a party (not with live bands, excessive drinking etc.), I always invite all the neighbors so they are fore warned and so they can join in. It is only fair.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Across the Fence: inconsiderate neighbors |
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inconsiderate neighbors
