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Across the Fence:  Empty Nest-----  |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3320 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3320 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 05 2015 : 09:57:00 AM
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Our son is settled in at Nashville as of this past weekend and will be attending Belmont University in the fall.
Any advice regarding Empty Nest Syndrome would be so gratefully appreciated.
I am looking forward to reading your wise and honest remarks--Thanks so much-
Melody |
Edited by - melody on Aug 06 2015 06:10:20 AM |
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sherone_13
True Blue Farmgirl
2460 Posts
Sherone
Evanston
WY
USA
2460 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 07:13:47 AM
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Allow yourself to cry and then run around the house naked! It's wonderful!
Sherone
Farmgirl Sister #1682
My Blog
www.annapearlsattic.blogspot.com
My Etsy
www.etsy.com/shop/annapearlsattic
Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we just jump on our broomsticks and fly! We are flexible that way! |
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Marilyn Hartman Sullivan
True Blue Farmgirl
1138 Posts
Marilyn
Oxford
PA
USA
1138 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 07:21:38 AM
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My daughter (my only child) stayed home until she married at 22. We always got along great and still do. About six months before she married, her fiancee got a job transfer to the other side of the state, so I knew she would be moving a ways away, but I also knew in my heart that it would be good for her to be away from Mommy to become a wife to her husband and start their life off without my presence being so "present." The night she got married, I came home after a long and happy day of seeing my lovely daughter walk down the aisle in her beautiful white gown, sat down in my chair and felt almost physically that a weight was lifting from my shoulders. She was not my child to raise any longer, but an adult, and while I knew that I would miss having her close, I knew that it was her time.
We raise them to become adults, independent, self-sufficient, and then we have to let them go. The first few weeks and then months were a time of adjustment for both of us. I kept busy with work and quilting -- she kept busy learning her new environment and settling in to married life. I never actually felt that "empty nest" thing because my heart was still full, and now I had a son-in-law, too. To be sure, I spent lots of extra time cuddling with my little dog-child, but I also enjoyed the new freedom of being able to come and go more as I pleased and to have time with just me and my Mr.
Even back then, there was always the telephone. Now we would have e-mail and Skype as well.
I guess I just saw the whole transition as part of what I had always been trying to achieve as a mother -- raising a person. Your son is off on the adventure of a lifetime, and you have given him the courage and confidence to go out and make his way in the world. He will always need you (and always be your little boy), but he's taking the next step to being a wonderful man. Hopefully taking pride in that will give you lots of good feelings about him not being at home now.
If you've got hobbies -- enjoy them! If you want to take a class -- learn something! If you want to vacuum naked -- now you can!!!
I hope you do well with your newfound role -- keep us informed.
Farmgirl #6318
"Where there's a will -- there's probably a family fight." |
Edited by - Marilyn Hartman Sullivan on Aug 06 2015 07:23:36 AM |
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quiltee
True Blue Farmgirl
7529 Posts
Linda
Terrell
TX
USA
7529 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 07:36:46 AM
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WOO HOO! I agree with Marilyn and Sherone. Enjoy your hobbies, lunch with friends, traveling all you can. Get out of the house and enjoy yourself. And yes, you can vaccuum naked if you want. Isn't it great? LOL!
Farmgirl hugs,
Linda O
Lone Oak, TX
Farmgirl #1919
"Women are Angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly . . . on a broomstick - we're flexible, like that."
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morganewilson
Farmgirl in Training
21 Posts
Morgan
Knoxville
TN
USA
21 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 09:13:09 AM
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My son is moving out this week too. Luckily he's only moving less than 5 miles away. Yet I still find myself a bit emotional about this big change.
I have a ton of hobbies already and I can't say that my life has really revolved around taking care of him for a while now (he's 20 and has been getting more and more independent over the last few years of course). But I see him almost every day or have a general idea where he is if he's not at home. It's going to be bizarre with even this short distance between us. I'm sure I'll worry to death..but right now I'm trying to plan him a moving in gift basket of sorts. I guess that's keeping me somewhat distracted.
Good luck! |
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Ozark Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
130 Posts
130 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 09:14:40 AM
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Edited by - Ozark Farmgirl on Sep 27 2015 10:49:50 PM |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3320 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3320 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 09:31:44 AM
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Sheesh....as a 58 year old woman with vast amounts of experience with life-I have found I am completely unnerved and unprepared for this. Thank you so much girls for all the WONDERFUL and heartfelt GOOD advice. I knew I could count on my farm girls....
Melody |
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
6617 Posts
Winnie
Gainesville
Fl
USA
6617 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 09:34:59 AM
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Good luck Melody for whatever seems and feels right for you! It is a time now that you have earned as a mom and so enjoy getting out and about and doing new things that were always an interest but you never had enough time.
Winnie #3109
Red Tractor Girl
Farm Sister of the Year 2014-2015 |
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windypines
True Blue Farmgirl
4216 Posts
Michele
Bruce
Wisconsin
USA
4216 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2015 : 6:27:52 PM
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Enjoy your life again, and enjoy the visits and watching your son as an adult! Time for "me" time or "we" time again! Vacuum naked, yippee. haha
Farming in WI
Michele |
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morganewilson
Farmgirl in Training
21 Posts
Morgan
Knoxville
TN
USA
21 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2015 : 06:27:38 AM
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| So my son moved his bed out last night. I went to the store and spent about 100$ on a few school supplies, cleaning supplies, sheets, towels, etc etc. I guess I resorted to retail therapy to make myself feel better. I took the stuff to his new place and he told me he was happy to know I "had his back" during all this because it's stressful for him too. I just wonder if he has any idea how hard it is to live on one's own...all the little things you have to buy. Oh well, I guess he'll figure it out! |
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Ozark Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
130 Posts
130 Posts |
Posted - Aug 07 2015 : 07:35:25 AM
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Edited by - Ozark Farmgirl on Sep 27 2015 10:50:06 PM |
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sherone_13
True Blue Farmgirl
2460 Posts
Sherone
Evanston
WY
USA
2460 Posts |
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naturemaiden
True Blue Farmgirl
2569 Posts
Connie - Farmgirl #673
Hoosick Falls
NY
USA
2569 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2015 : 01:32:26 AM
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when my older son Joe was suppose to move to another state for college years back and I went through that empty nest syndrome way before he was to leave. I felt devastated. Circumstances changed it and he never went. In my heart I didn't feel he was really prepared to be on his own, he was immature and not financially stable.
Joe recently moved out and is with a wonderful girl he plans to marry. He is now 27, an electrician & making excellent money. I no longer had no worries about him being on his own, I could see he was more than ready and I am so happy for him.
Now it's Andrews turn LOL- but he's only 21 and he is no where near ready to be on his own. I came to the realization recently that my boys are grown and no longer 'need me'. It felt depressing. On the other hand now it's 'me' time, but I have no idea what I will do, LOL. MY life has always revolved around my boys.
Can't wait to have grand babies- someday.
http://www.naturemaiden.com/ Handcrafted Soap & Candles
http://saratoga-rose.blogspot.com/ My published books & other writing.
http://modern-day-laura.blogspot.com/ Filled with everything I love!
http://www.thriftyfarmgirl.com/ Vintage Sewing Machine Parts
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Edited by - naturemaiden on Oct 01 2015 01:34:49 AM |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17161 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17161 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2015 : 8:42:28 PM
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Oh Melody,,, you are not alone,, we all at some point have or will go through the empty nest syndrome... it's a right of passage for us moms...
How blessed we are to be moms, through both the sadness and joy,
hugz... now go run around the house in your skivvies! lol!
>^..^<
Happiness is being a katmom and Glamping Diva!
www.katmom4.blogspot.com & http://graciesvictorianrose.blogspot.com
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Across the Fence: Empty Nest----- |
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Empty Nest-----
