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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  Next Direction Please  |
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LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 02 2014 : 6:48:11 PM
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Hello, all...
I just wanted to put this out there because I've been thinking about it a lot.
DH was discharged from the Navy in a rather controversial manner back in 2012. I won't go into details right now, but it really tore us up. We were very upset. There were even certain events prior to his discharge which were handled in ways we have been told were illegal.
I didn't marry him because he was military. I married him because we're in love... even after everything we have been through. That stuff strengthened us and our relationship. But there is a large part of me that felt, and still feels that I was supposed to do certain things as a military wife.
The point is -- I feel like we're not done with the military. DH's discharge papers recommend that he NOT be allowed to ever re-join. But there are appeals, etc. that can be made to reverse the decision, and possibly even allow him back in.
The tricky part is the appeals. The "prickly" part is DH himself. We're not in total agreement. He felt pushed / forced into the military before. Now it's all he knows aside from his work at PDQ (fast food restaurant). I DO NOT look down on his current job. The work seems to satisfy him and agree with him very well. The people are lovely, and so kind. But even DH says this isn't what he wants to do forever.
DH wants his own business, but doesn't know what he wants to do yet, and we both know we're not ready for both of us to be full-time work-from-home. I view the military as a means to an end. A wonderful opportunity for continued growth. A "safety net" of sorts where benefits abound. To me, the military is one of few places in America where DH could spend his time earning money, furthering his career, all while continuing his education and building on his ultimate goals. In the end, he would get out in a preferably more stable manner, we would adjust to our new lives, and he would be able to work from home.
No matter the scenario, there would still be challenges, difficulties, the occasional drama, fear, worry, etc. Everything in it's time and place. It wouldn't "fix" any problems or magically make bad-vibes go away. But it seems a good call in my mind.
I just feel so strongly... DH and I are not fighting or anything. We just agree to disagree for now, and that's okay. It's part of a healthy, growing relationship.
Please pray for:
- Wisdom and knowledge. There have often been things "I've just known" or "felt strongly" for completely inexplicable reasons. My sole explanation is that God works miracles within our lives and hearts. Lie back and let Him. DH is happy here and I'm glad for that, but I don't see PDQ as an endless opportunity. I don't want to push / pressure / force him in any direction. I simply want us as a couple to think about the future so that we can GRADUALLY move in the direction of goals to come to fruition later. As opposed to moving forward with no plan at all.
- Peace. I really like it here. I truly want to be here. But if I'm constantly looking forward to moving again, I won't remain happy long. I've got that "let's get on with it and get back to a place I actually consider home" itch...
- Gratefulness / Kindness. I want to be grateful for now. Kind to DH (and others). I want to truly live in this moment.
- Reading. This may seem silly, and probably fits under Wisdom / Knowledge, but I'm a reader. I often read books like The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It's really helped me through a lot of this, and advanced me through some understanding of what we need to do now. I consider DH to be more mature than most 26-year-old men I know. But I feel we've both struggled to adjust to adulthood... and now I feel we're a little "off-kilter" and not on the same page because I've reached some new understanding. I want to find our way back to the same page... so prayers would be very helpful.
Thank you all.
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
DH and I share a blog: http://wesubtleties.tumblr.com
Follow on Twitter: @wesubtleties |
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
Posted - Jun 03 2014 : 05:55:53 AM
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I will definitely be praying here! I am so sorry to hear about your hubby's discharge! I hate to hear about individuals being discharged that WANT to defend our country's freedoms. Unfortunately with the MANY cutbacks, getting back in the military will be extremely difficult. They are kicking people out left and right, for extremely minor offenses. It has even gone as far as commanders not signing re-enlistment paperwork due to a 4 on an EPR. They just reduced the numbers extensively and plan to do the same next year or the year after. Ironically, I am on the opposite spectrum as you - I am ready to retire from the military! We have a little over two years left. As I said - I will definitely be praying for your situation!
~ Shannon
http://hudson-everydayblessings.blogspot.com/ |
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LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
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LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 10:32:54 AM
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When we moved here, I found a yarn shop here in Hickory, and called them up to see if they ever had socials or mixers where I could go and crochet or knit. They did!
Well, after I posted this, I went and crocheted with them one afternoon. The conversation turned to my frustrations over not being able to find a VA Rep who would listen to our rather bizarre discharge story. One of the ladies happens to go to a clinic in the same building as a particular Veterans related office. She told me where it was.
The next week, completely out of the blue, when I went to the meetup, this kind woman had left with the other ladies a business card for a local individual who works with veterans! I emailed her yesterday, and am hoping to hear back Monday about possibly arranging a meeting with her.
Also, while DH and I were out and about a few days ago, we met an Air Force vet who is setting up an office for a political campaign here in Hickory. We ended up talking to him for several minutes. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to meet others who understand...
http://lalauland.tumblr.com
http://lalauland.etsy.com
Follow me on Twitter: @lalauland
DH and I share a blog: http://wesubtleties.tumblr.com
Follow on Twitter: @wesubtleties |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3930 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3930 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 2:01:31 PM
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It is so good hearing how well you are doing making connections in this new place. There are kind and helpful people everywhere. I suggest that both you and your husband volunteer for this vet's political campaign. Above all, pay back all the kindnesses you are given by unconditionally giving out kindness yourself.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7583 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7583 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2014 : 5:39:23 PM
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Laura I definitely will put you in my prayers.
blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
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LaLa
True Blue Farmgirl
233 Posts
Laura
Hickory
North Carolina
USA
233 Posts |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: Next Direction Please |
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Next Direction Please
