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Family Matters:  Well it is going to happen  |
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 30 2013 : 08:31:59 AM
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Hello Ladies, This is going to be a shock to some when I tell the rest of the family...But it wasnt when I told my Daughter..My husband and I are going to separating and more than likely divorce. It has been a few yrs coming.Yes we just bought a house in the country..and have been doing things to fix up the fixer upper...But he is not the man most people think he is...He loves the ladies if you know what I mean...and not just once...but 3 times...I cant forget...I have forgiven..but I dont get it..WHY...so I have asked him to leave..and he didnt put up a fight..I think he knew it was coming...There is a small problem. His brother lives with us. He came to help out with the farm and has done a great job. He knew this was coming before my husband did. And NO he is NOT my type...he is like a brother to me..and that is all...My husbands brother said he would stay to help me if he wanted me to..I need the help and he hasnt been able to find outside work..he is still looking...My niece is coming to live with me this spring so that is another hand to help also and to help with bills...
I dont need pity but just a sound word...
Deborah
now we are on our forever farm. God has blessed us. |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2013 : 08:44:19 AM
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I would never pity you my friend, I would instead say that I'm glad you are no longer prolonging a dead marrige...as far as your BIL staying on, why not, since he is helping out, spliting from your husband, does not mean dropping the rest of his family...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3945 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3945 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2013 : 08:53:59 AM
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I agree with Tina. Lose the husband. Keep his brother.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2013 : 10:18:11 AM
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Deborah,
This is a big change to begin the new year! I wish you well.
You have a right to peace and happiness and a split from this situation will give you new opportunities to plan your own life. If the real "Mr. Right" appears someday or not you seem to be wise in making this decision. You are showing wisdom and strength, both will serve you well.
It is the right decision, but I know it still won't be easy. Remember we are here to encourage and support you.
Hugs,
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2013 : 3:13:32 PM
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Good time for a new beginning! Sending good thoughts your way.
Marianne |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Dec 30 2013 : 5:53:28 PM
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Deborah,
I don't pity you, I admire you! Good for you for taking a brave step and saying "no more" to a relationship that has an aspect you can't (and shouldn't) tolerate. A long time ago I read an amazing novel where the main character realized that one of the most powerful words was "no." So, you have said, "No! I won't accept this because it is not acceptable to me! No!"
And, as for your BIL, if he is a brother to you then the best thing in the world is to have a brother helping you as you move on. Surround yourself with family and friends and know that you are worth the most fabulous, happy life in the world. All the Farmgirls will be here rooting for you!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder
"A [wo]man is rich in proportion to the number of things which [s]he can afford to let alone." - Henry David Thoreau |
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Dec 31 2013 : 05:35:47 AM
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Get the negative people out of your life and welcome the two family members into your life. You never know what is waiting around the corner. Maybe this is meant to be. No relationship, just three people moving forward with their life. Why not? Go for the gusto and create the life you have been wanting. Who is to stop you, but you?
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 05:27:42 AM
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Ladies, You are all amazing. I am sitting hear reading these wonderful words and tears running down my face. Not knowing yall and knowing yall is such a blessing. I wish everyone was the way all you ladies are...Thank you so much for the lift up...it is really helping. And when I dont think I can do it..I come here and now I can..Thanks again
Deborah
now we are on our forever farm. God has blessed us. |
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Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 05:56:33 AM
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Deborah, you can do this. Don't stop, put one foot in front of the other and weather the storm. It will not last forever,even if it feels like it will. In a year you will look back and think....whew, I made it. Blessings
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 12:26:00 PM
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Kem, Thank you so much for the wise words
now we are on our forever farm. God has blessed us. |
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
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nndairy
True Blue Farmgirl
3099 Posts
Heather
Wapakoneta
Ohio
USA
3099 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 1:11:18 PM
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Deborah,
I wish you well on the rest of your journey through life. I think the hardest part is deciding enough is enough. It will be tough at times - all change is - but like the other girls have said we're here for you. And as for the brother - he sounds like a great brother trying to help you and you deserve the help. Best wishes for a great new year! Hang in there girl!
Heather
Farmgirl Sister #4701
http://nndairy.blogspot.com/
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 2:53:23 PM
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I know we've all said it, but I will say it again - we mean it when we say we are all here cheering you on. Lean on us - feel the hugs coming your way from all over the country! And, again, I admire your strength! It takes real guts to leave a situation and forge ahead to build a new life!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder
"A [wo]man is rich in proportion to the number of things which [s]he can afford to let alone." - Henry David Thoreau |
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hoosiercountry
True Blue Farmgirl
572 Posts
karla
north port
fl
USA
572 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2014 : 3:51:48 PM
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| Deborah, You Go Girl! You did right by you and your daughter. She will learn so much from your brave choice. It will be hard and painful for awhile, but remember you already did the hardest part, that was saying Enough. As for you BIL why not, like others have said he helps with the work and when he does find a job he will help with bills. You have shown your are a strong woman, not one to be pitied. Big Hugs Karla. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2014 : 2:23:45 PM
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Deborah... You have been in my thoughts and prayers since I first read your post. I wish there was something I could say to explain the "why," but the truth is, I don't think there is one. What I do know, though, is that taking care of your heart, mind and health, as well as those of your loved ones is of the utmost importance. You truly are brave - this has to be the most painful, difficult decision in the world for you, even if in many ways it comes as a relief. I really admire your strength. This is one rollercoaster that even the most seasoned of riders would not choose, of this I am most certain. Everyone is right - we're here for you. God bless your niece - you must be SO looking forward to her arrival! And I think it's such a wonderful thing that your brother-in-law loves you and thinks so highly of you that he wants to stay on and help. I'm sure it will not be without its complications in some ways, but what a great blessing it will be in others. One step at a time, sister... Just take everything one step at a time. And remember, if at any point you don't like where the path ahead of you is leading, you can always change direction. It's only made of dirt and sod; it's not a path carved in stone. :) Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2014 : 3:10:16 PM
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Nini,
Thank you so much for you kind words. I have been here for several yrs and when something comes up that I dont think I can handle alone I come here..It is that I as a woman can talk to women to help with many things..I have friends that I can talk to but here seems like you all are my friends even if there are miles between us. My BIL is a sweet man and does many things with out being asked. He just sees what needs to be done and does it. My niece is mostly a city girl...but she said that it will be a blessing for the quite. And she will be interested in learning how to garden...That is exciting to me..As for being strong I am not sure if I really am..it will be hard but it was harder to lay in the bed with someone that has other women on his mind. So I think I am just tired of living a lie...And God doesnt want me to live this way either.
Thank you for all you ladies...
Deborah
now we are on our forever farm. God has blessed us. |
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MrsTracy
True Blue Farmgirl
145 Posts
Tracy
Beaufort
South Carolina
USA
145 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2014 : 06:02:39 AM
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I admire your decision. I wish I could get my daughter to do the same thing. Good luck and God bless!
Aspiring Titus II and Proverbs 31 Lady. |
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laurzgot
True Blue Farmgirl
1686 Posts
Laurie
Alvin
Texas
USA
1686 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2014 : 7:07:07 PM
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Deborah, I admire your strength and wisdom. You are doing your best for your family and that's what counts. You remember that you always have loved ones who care a lot. Take care and great big hugs and prayers. We are always here for you.
Laurie
"Smile and be yourself everyday"
Country girl at heart
Laurie
Aprons and More by Laurie is on my FB page. www.facebook.com Aprons and More by Laurie/2487022
www.etsy.com/people/Aprons And Home Decor |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2014 : 11:55:35 PM
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I think having the brother there could be a big blessing as long as he doesn't start spying & running to your soon to be ex with all your doing. I think though that having him there will help you get the work you need done plus have someone you can just talk to.... not the serious stuff but someone to just be company with at times while you go thur all this....I can understand how hard this is for you but it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders & will get through it even better & stronger....my thoughts are with you dear hen ....Michele'
Chickens RULE!
hen #2622
www.theoldbatzfarm.blogspot.com/ |
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2014 : 04:00:45 AM
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Deborah,
It does take the strength and courage you never knew you had to say 'no more'.
I have been there myself. Take things one step, one day at a time.
You will have a good support system with your Bil and niece.
There will be a roller coaster of emotions going on for awhile, but you will stay strong and busy and get thru each day.
It will be an amazing journey ahead for you! The very best wishes are coming your way!
Sending prayers and hugs as you begin this new chapter of your life.
Blessings,
Linda
http://grannysbirds.blogspot.com/
Country at Heart
'For I know the plans I have for you......'
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KayB
True Blue Farmgirl
540 Posts
Kay
Del City
Oklahoma
USA
540 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2014 : 12:17:59 PM
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I'm right there with you. My husband keeps disappearing on me and I have called it quits. My friend is coming over tomorrow to help me pack his stuff while a take a mental health (bawl my eyes out) day from work. I will be praying for you.
Unfortunately, I have no help other than my best buddy Regina. Both of my girls are married to soldiers with one in Texas and the other in Germany, but they knew it was coming.
We are both strong and will be okay.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
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lovinRchickens
True Blue Farmgirl
3460 Posts
Kelly
Pipe Creek
Texas
USA
3460 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2014 : 12:57:43 PM
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Deborah
I am sending prayers for you to remain strong. God Bless
Farmgirl #5111
Blessings
~Kelly~ |
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2014 : 09:57:58 AM
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Kay I am sorry to hear that...but as I did it was time to say enough is enough...I dont understand men sometimes..I think some not all are so selfish and only think of what is good for them and not for the marriage...Hang in there girl..email me sometimes and we can help out with good chats.. Kelly thanks hun...I need all I can get
Deborah
now we are on our forever farm. God has blessed us. |
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2014 : 11:53:34 AM
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Ladies, It is final. The papers were signed and the judge declared the divorced. I have been here with my exes brother (Larry) and we are doing great..no pressure on me and he is a GREAT help to me here on my farm. Chickens are in there big chicken coop and they love it. my seeds are planted and raised beds are getting dirt next week...I am so happy...And stress free...
Deborah
now we are on our forever farm. God has blessed us. |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3945 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3945 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2014 : 12:10:44 PM
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Glad to hear that everything has worked out.
Marie, Sister #5142
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Family Matters: Well it is going to happen |
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Well it is going to happen
