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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  Mom is stopping chemo  |
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musicmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Wendy
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 04 2013 : 4:44:30 PM
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This has been a hard Thanksgiving for us. I always host dinner here at our house and on Wednesday, Mom said there was just no way she could make it. Just too sick. Friday, she was admitted to the hospital and Saturday was moved to Cardiac Intensive Care. She has had a problem the last few weeks with fluid build up around her lungs. She had it drained a couple of weeks ago and they took out 2 liters! They put in a permanent drain a couple of days ago so that she can manage the fluid pressure on her own. She's still in the hospital because her blood pressure hasn't stabilized yet although it's getting close. Hopefully, she'll be home Thursday or Friday.
The thing is, she's been fighting this cancer now for 2 years and is on some of the most aggressive chemo possible. She's had one dose of it and it's pretty obvious that she can't tolerate this chemo. At this point, several doctors are saying that it might be time to go off chemo and enjoy the days she's got left. Quality days over quantity.
We would appreciate prayers for peace and wisdom. Prayers as my husband and I try to find the right words to tell our boys knowing that no matter what, their hearts are going to be broken. I'm just really sad right now...
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
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jan49829
True Blue Farmgirl
2428 Posts
Janet
Winter Haven
Florida
USA
2428 Posts |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4737 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4737 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2013 : 6:54:39 PM
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I'm so very sorry about this Wendy. I lost both my parents two years ago (they died 2.5 months apart). My late father-in-law fought leukemia for 13 years before he said no more chemo. He was 83 years old then. The first 6 months after he quit the chemo he felt petty good. So well that he traveled back to Iran to visit his siblings and then came out here to IL to visit us. He visited with all his friends and the family that lives in CA (where he lived too). I know he was grateful to have those final months to say good-bye to everyone before he came so ill and couldn't leave his home. His decision was very hard for some of the family to accept, but my husband and I always thought it was the best one. I pray that your mother will have some quality time too and can enjoy her loved ones for as long as possible. You are both in my prayers.
Dawn in IL |
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
6592 Posts
Winnie
Gainesville
Fl
USA
6592 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 05:04:54 AM
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Wendy, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. It sounds like she has fought the good fight the past few years and now her body is just tired from it all. I worked as a hospice nurse for 11 years and I think patients know when they wish to stop aggressive treatment. Although it is a hard decision to make, we all can understand that what they wish most is to have some good days with a sense of peace. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers during these next days as you move towards a different plan of care as a family. May I encourage you to not be afraid to allow hospice to come and talk to you about what they can do to help your mom live as fully and as comfortable as possible. Hospice is a healthcare option. Think of it as a second opinion for the situation that you can review and consider. In the end, if treatment is what is desired by you mom, then those wishes should be honored. But if not, there is a way to help her have great supportive care for her at home. Being a former hospice nurse, I admit to being a bit biased, but sometimes, hospice is just what benefits the patient and family the most in these difficult days.
Hugs to you !
Winnie #3109 |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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wildflower17
True Blue Farmgirl
3043 Posts
Judy
KY
USA
3043 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 11:18:43 AM
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Wendy...so sorry that you are having to face this...will be praying for peace for all of you and only the comfort that God can give.
Hugs!
Judy
THERE IS ALWAYS...ALWAYS...ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR...
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened...
"Country Girl at Heart...Blessed Beyond Measure"!!!
Farm Girl #5440
Farm Girl of The Month September 2013 |
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 11:24:54 AM
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Wendy,
I am so sorry that your family has to go through this- for that matter any family. I will keep you all very close to my heart and in my daily prayers. Treasure every moment as I know you will- and always remember we are right here with you for the journey!!
Much love being sent your way!!
Lori
God has promised strength for the day, rest for the labor, light for the way, grace for the trials, help from above, unfailing sympathy and undying love.
We are here to love each other, serve each other and uplift each other. |
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nndairy
True Blue Farmgirl
3075 Posts
Heather
Wapakoneta
Ohio
USA
3075 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 5:24:40 PM
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Wendy - Sending you a big hug. I'll be praying for you, your mom, and your family as you go through this incredibly difficult time.
Heather
Farmgirl Sister #4701
http://nndairy.blogspot.com/
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9324 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9324 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 6:52:24 PM
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Wendy,
I understand what you are going through. My sister left us less than a month ago from cancer. She too was getting a very aggressive type chemo. She only had three treatments and they were not consecutive due to her body not being able to handle it. It is a very difficult row to hoe. For those battling and those trying to walk the path with them. I will be praying for your Mom and you and your family. My sister passed peacefully with her husband and son with her. She had had a lot of pain for quite a while and the few days before she didn't take any pain meds as she was not having pain anymore. I think maybe God was giving her a reprieve from the pain before he took her home.
One of the hard things for me in letting her go was that I had just lost my mom 14 months before this. I know have my dad living with me because my sister got to sick to help him. But I wouldn't have that any other way.
Hugs,
Denise
Farmgirl Sister #43
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
Psalm 119:105
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
http://www.torisgram.etsy.com |
Edited by - levisgrammy on Dec 05 2013 6:53:11 PM |
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musicmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Wendy
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 7:01:30 PM
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Thanks, my friends. Mom is home from the hospital today. She feels great now that she has a permanent drain in for her lungs and the chemo is out of her system. She's talking about fighting more, but I don't know. We'll be with her tomorrow making Christmas cookies.
Can I just say that this sucks? I hate looking at my boys and knowing that they are hurting. I know that this is all a part of life, but I'd really like to protect them for a bit longer.
I appreciate your prayers and your words of encouragement. My mom and I have never really had a good relationship and I'm sad about that, but she and I are connecting now. Better late than never!
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9324 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9324 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 7:28:36 PM
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Wendy,
My sister and I did not have the greatest relationship but we did what we could with the time she had left. She made two trips from Florida to NJ to see my dad. It took a lot out of her but she was determined to do it. She also extended the last trip to go to NY and take care of all her arrangements. I tell you she had a very strong will. We did as much together as she could do without wearing her out.
Yes, you can say this sucks because it really does. Just have the best time you can with your mom and include your boys in doing as much as possible together with her.
You will be glad you did. If your mom is feeling better and feeling like she can fight it, let her. Encourage her. She will know whether she really can or not but if you encourage her she will have better emotional days.
Cancer plays havoc with the emotional state of those battling it.
Sending love your way and prayers heavenward for all of you.
Denise
Farmgirl Sister #43
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
Psalm 119:105
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
http://www.torisgram.etsy.com |
Edited by - levisgrammy on Dec 05 2013 7:29:30 PM |
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hudsonsinaf
True Blue Farmgirl
3162 Posts
Shannon
Rozet
Wyoming
USA
3162 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 7:42:34 PM
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| Oh Wendy! My heart goes out to you. And your boys :'( What a hard hard path to travel! I want to give you words of wisdom and encouragement, but I have none that will help or ease your pain. I do know, however, that there is a God wanting to carry your burden! You can absolutely say it sucks, because it does! My cousin is in 4th stage cancer - it started in his esophagus and has metastasized to his liver and spine. We've been told there is no hope - and it sucks! With Christmas coming, the pain seems even greater for the family. But he is still fighting. I agree with Denise - if your mom wants to fight, encourage her to do so! We've told my cousin that we will stand beside him while he fights - but if he gets too tired and can't any more, we understand that too. Praying for wisdom for the doctors and lots of love and prayers coming for you, your mom, your children, and the rest of the family!!! <3 |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2013 : 12:41:24 PM
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Wendy,
I am praying for your entire family during this difficult time. Three years ago I went thought the same this with my Dad, in fact your story and mine seem to mimic each other. Dad had the drain in and I would drain him weekly, or as needed. He had Mesothelioma( lung cancer from asbestos). We did the whole chemo thing etc too. My children were 10 and 12 at the time. It was very difficult. We took trips back and forth for treatment to Boston, as they have one of the best mesothelioma cancer centers there. It was very trying on all of us, so I can definitely relate to what you are going through.
I am praying for comfort and some quality time for your mom, and for strength for your family as you travel this horrible journey. It is not easy, but God will see you through and give you strength and there will be signs of this along the way, I promise you.
Hugs to you and your family,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
View my New Blog:
http://simplesuburbanpleasures.blogspot.com
Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds that you plant.
~Robert Louis Stevenson |
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lovinRchickens
True Blue Farmgirl
3440 Posts
Kelly
Pipe Creek
Texas
USA
3440 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2013 : 1:21:27 PM
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Wendy,
I am praying God gives you and your family peace and courage through this terribly difficult time.
Farmgirl #5111
Blessings
~Kelly~ |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Dec 10 2013 : 10:49:50 PM
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Wendy,
I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I pray that the Lord would heal her and grant her wisdom on making decisions concerning her health. I am also keeping you in prayer for encouragement and strength and comfort as well as for your husband and your sons. I am sorry.
Farmgirl Sister #5392
By His Grace, For His Glory
~Sharon
http://amerryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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Simply Satisfied
True Blue Farmgirl
427 Posts
Emily
Montana
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2013 : 6:44:49 PM
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I will pray for you family and mother. I always talk to clients about quality of life versus quantity for their pets and I can't imagine making those choices for human family or with human family. I think quality is so important but also can't imagine how hard it would be to actually make such a decision. I hope you get many quality days to enjoy with your mother.
Emily
Farmgirl # 3591 |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2013 : 03:42:35 AM
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Wendy - thinking about you, your Mom and your family today. You're in my prayers, sister. How are you doing? How is your Mom doing? Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2013 : 07:43:58 AM
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Wendy,
my prayers are with you and your Mom for peace and wisdom. It is a hard decision. None of us want to let go of those we love but that can be from the selfishness of wanting to keep them. Sometimes the kindest act is to allow them to make the decision to move on to a better place without the pain and illness they are now suffering. May the rest of the days with your be full of the peace and joy that will be what you both want to remember.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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musicmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Wendy
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2013 : 11:42:51 AM
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Every time I pull up this thread and read all your kind words, I feel so blessed! At this point, my mom is really feel pretty good. All the chemo is completely out of her system and with the permanent drain in, she is able to keep the fluid off her lungs so she can breathe easier. She has regained so much energy and is now able to do things with us again. No final decision has been made yet about the chemo, but she is leaning towards not doing it anymore. Lesser chemo will make her feel lousy and won't have any affect on the cancer. Stronger chemo may well kill her a few days after starting it.
We are going into Christmas knowing that barring some miracle, this will be Mom's last Christmas with us. So, we're trying to make lots of memories for the boys.
She currently has a home health nurse coming 3 days a week which is great for it gives Dad just a little break. She is considered on palliative care, but we will definitely use hospice when it is time.
I will say, everything looks different this Christmas.
Thank you for all your prayers and kind words.
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
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Denise Ann
True Blue Farmgirl
831 Posts
Denise
Shoreview
MN
USA
831 Posts |
Posted - Dec 17 2013 : 4:38:55 PM
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Wendy
So sorry about your mom. Thinking of you and your family! You will be in my prayers. |
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Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl
5078 Posts
Connie
Arlington
TN
USA
5078 Posts |
Posted - Dec 17 2013 : 6:43:28 PM
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Wendy, your family is in my heart and my Prayers!
Connie
Imagine....#3392 |
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auntsmelly
True Blue Farmgirl
559 Posts
Jenny
Pitman
NJ
USA
559 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2014 : 1:30:28 PM
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Wendy, thinking of you and your family.
I have lost my mom, dad, and brother to cancer. It is a terrible thing, but it has
made me stronger. I don't understand it, but try not to question God either.
I will be praying for all of you.
I would like to think that I will die a heroic death, but it's more likely I'll trip over my cat and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
Jenny, Blessed Farmgirl #4359 |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7583 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7583 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2014 : 5:19:55 PM
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Wendy you and your family are in my prayers and your mom is in them for peace and healing,
blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
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AFinkberry
True Blue Farmgirl
310 Posts
Ally
Kalama
Washington
310 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2014 : 5:40:57 PM
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Wendy, I hope that you had a wonderful holiday season with your Mom, full of memories and cookies! Keep the communication open and honest with your boys! And when YOU need support, us farm gals will be here to help!
Ally
Farmgirl Sister #5672
"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness." ~His Holiness the Dalai Lama |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: Mom is stopping chemo |
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Mom is stopping chemo
