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Parenting & Farm Kids:  How long to give young adults to get jobs?  |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 07 2013 : 08:05:49 AM
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Kristina,
That is a tough call when jobs are so hard to find. Are they trying? If so I'd continue to encourage them and just deal with it.
If they aren't looking, maybe you could set some type of requirement, apply for a certain number of jobs a week? Start looking into things they might not have considered; check-out, convenience store, farm work for neighbors, house/pet sitting, whatever is available? Even part time would let them help out.
If they don't have a job, how can you kick them out? In spite of money and aggravation, the thought of one of my kids homeless would scare the daylights out of me!
Do they have education beyond high school? If not, maybe they need to get some training, there are loans available and if they are old enough they can get one without you co-signing.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2013 : 08:08:01 AM
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where I live, there are no jobs, so the only way to find one is to commute to other towns, it turns into a catch 22, cause of cost to commute (ie, gas, car up-keep, insurance etc), so alot of times, in ends up costing to go to work...soooo giving them a time limit, just does not work, and making them move out, well then they could end up living in the streets...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2013 : 11:28:55 AM
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Yeah this is a tough call in todays world.
My DH never was jobless in over 20 years. Then we decided to move from NYC to Kansas. And where Kansas usually has plenty of jobs it was in a lull. It took my DH about 3 months to get a temp job at Target. And then another month after that to get a job with the kansas dept of transportation, but it was like Tina described, about 4 towns away, and the very very low pay they gave, barely (sometimes we were actually in the hole from it) paid for the gas to get him there and back. Took about 1 1/2 years for him to get a living wage job with a trash company.
I have friends in the same situation.
My parents were pretty upset with us over the whole deal in the end. (I mean they said we could move in with them but then when it droned out like that they were upset, but none of us had any plans of it ever taking that long!).
I really don't know.
I would say I would look more at the effort they are putting forth to get a job then the actual achievement of getting one.
I know on every interview my DH has went to he says there is HUNDREDS of people there waiting at the interview place, and this will be for only 2 or 3 placements! I was shocked when he first started coming home from them and promptly being turned down for jobs he had over a decade of experience doing in NYC! I was like how many people could of applied for that job and had your time and experience in the field. And then he would tell me that there was hundreds of people there for the interview applying for the same position! One he said there was over 500 people there from all over the state and even from out of state. So it's really really hard right now.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2013 : 11:33:39 AM
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BTW, I think my parents kind of think we are all lazy bums making this stuff up. They have had never had problems getting jobs, my dad is a nurse and mom a doctor. But, it wasn't just my husband. My brothers (except for the ones that gave up and just decided to join the military just so they could have a job!) are having the same problems! I have 5 adult brothers and all of them have had a hard time getting a job as well, and they are NOT lazy in the least. Like I said 2 of them gave up and just went and joined the military. Two are working at grocery stores with minimal pay, and they have much better talent then grocery store. One got lucky and made friends with a old man who owns a theater, and he lives above the theater and is like the care taker of the theater, keeps it clean, and gets it ready for parties and such as that. And his pay is rooming (living there), other then that he has to also have other side jobs (handyman) to make money to feed his family.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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sissarge
True Blue Farmgirl
502 Posts
Linda
Montgomery
Texas
USA
502 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2013 : 11:55:43 AM
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| It would be hard to give ultimatum and then to think where would they go. My 40 year old son came back home after bitter divorce which he did not want and we put him in the cabin (very small 1 room) on our property. Then we did not realize the depression he sank into, and thought that he was taking days off. He ended up loosing his job. At first he did not look, then we began to apply pressure, cause after divorce he needed to pay child support. We gave him chores around the property, and requirements to continue living there. We did feed him his meals, but did not put xtra money in pocket. After about 4 months of this, we told him he had to find a job, and to show us where he had a pplied, this is tough since he is a grown man and been on his own for 18 years. But for us this was necessary. During this time jobs were very tough to find, and he was not young enough for some of them, and he really had no special education, and then my grandson got him on at Target for less than grandson who had been there a year was making. Talking about humbling, but it was a job. That was almost 2 years ago, and now he is working a good job again, but in a different field. And now he has remarried, and get this they are living in the cabin. It is a 14 by 24 foot one room, with enclosed bathroom. But child support is so high they can't live anywhere else. But I still have requirements about some work around the place, and his new wife, helps out also, she is so good, and they pay 200.00 a month on utilities, I refuse to call it rent. They have 4 more years to go on child support so I guess I know where he will be. Hope you don't mind my story, and of course it is a little more involved than this, but, said all this to say, perhaps there are some chores, they can do. Keep them busy, expect much. Painting, gardening, flower beds, cleaning attic, garage, storage shed etc... you get my drift. Chores keep them busy, and maybe feel like they are somewhat earning the meal mom puts on the table. Also may encourage them to get out and look for a job. Sometimes with applied pressure comes applied wisdom. You did not say how old your sons are but, that they were young, and as you can see my was 40. Hope this does not offend anyone, but this worked good at our home! Good luck, will keep you in my thoughts. Farmgirl #946 Linda |
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SandraM
True Blue Farmgirl
295 Posts
Sandra
Coldwater
Michigan
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Mar 08 2013 : 06:32:29 AM
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The kids can live here after they graduate but they HAVE to be going to school and working. They all have had jobs they didn't like. They have had to apply for a couple of months to get one but they were persistant and all have been able to get at least part time work.
I have three girls that have graduated. My oldest worked for a year and then went away to school, my second and third went right to school after they graduated. They all have worked at least part time while going to school. I have one daugther that is working full time and going to school part time.
They would not be allowed to live at home and do nothing. If their are literally no jobs I would help them relocate to a city where they did have jobs. Or they would have to be going to school even if it was online courses.
I would be giving them ultimatums. You know your kids and you know if they are taking advantage. Life is hard and it isn't going to get any easier. I have family members who constantly are going back home to live...and we are not talking extreme circumstances we are talking they just don't want to work. It is more difficult to get a job but they are out there. All of my girls have had to work retail or food industry and they have not liked it, that is why the opted for college. College doesn't guarantee them a good job, especially in todays economy but they are working towards something.
Sandra
www.mittenstatesheepandwool.com |
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KatyDid
True Blue Farmgirl
66 Posts
Kate
Warwick
RI
USA
66 Posts |
Posted - Mar 15 2013 : 2:57:17 PM
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Kristina,
That is a difficult one, especially with the economy the way it is. It's hard enough for older college graduates to get jobs, and we're applying for positions we're way overqualified to do, just to earn some income! We are all competing for such a small number of jobs.
If they can't get paying jobs, they should at least apply for internships, or do volunteer work, so it is experience they can add to their resumes. Their colleges will have placement services and job/internship boards for alumni and current students.
I graduated in 2005 in a not-so-great economic climate, and as as we all know, it got worse from there. I was relentless at applying to jobs in the industry I thought I wanted to work in - advertising - with no luck. I had to "cast my net" farther and farther away from home. Three months after graduation, all my savings were gone and I was writing my parents IOU's! So I took the first job that was offered to me - a receptionist position 1 1/2 hours away in Boston, at an advertising agency, for intern pay (pathetic). But I figured it would be a foot in the door. It wasn't easy commuting all that way (in fact it was miserable!), but it did give me experience and I met my future husband there, so hey, it was good for something! I worked there for 9 months until I got laid off due to staff cutbacks, and it paid my commuting expenses but nothing else. After I got laid off, I luckily found my next job within 3 months. I think I saved that money for 9-10 months and then had enough to move out and pay for my own apartment at $700/month. So altogether (aside from a brief apartment arrangement in Boston), I think I was at home with my parents for a full year and a half before I really had any means to be independent.
Having said that, I wanted to be independent and did not want to feel like I was sponging off of Mom and Dad. I had parents who raised me to do my own work and have some initiative, earn grade school/high school allowance, etc. I am sure you have some sort of similar understanding worked out with your kids already, but I would certainly say they need to do something - anything - to get ahead and out of the house, even if it is a non-paying job. If they do make some money, I think it is reasonable to ask their plan for saving it and to set a goal of when they would want to move out. If they are not earning enough to make a ton of progress toward moving out, I still think it is important for them to contribute to the household in some way through a "reduced rent" program and/or doing housework for you. My best friend's parents were charging her $200/month to live in their in-law apartment after college, which covered electric, gas, water, and some groceries (but she would buy most of her own anyway). She was in a very good job making way more money than I ever have, but she was paying off grad school bills, so that was the best arrangement for her for a few years. By all means help your kids out in getting their start, but don't provide too much incentive to stay! When I was 18 I had a boyfriend who at 24 was still living at home, left his job and did not finish school...and of course his parents did not encourage him to do anything else (someone had to take care of their 3 dogs and 14 cats!). Can you guess why I broke up with him??? No initiative! Not attractive in a man :P
Good luck! Hope they can get on their feet soon!
Farmgirl Sister #4527
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
- Mae West |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: How long to give young adults to get jobs? |
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How long to give young adults to get jobs?
