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Across the Fence:  Is this bullying?  |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 3:24:04 PM
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I have a co-worker who doesn't like me, reasons unknown. Last week, he took some pictures of me with his cell phone that weren't very flattering. It really upset me. I felt violated. I was so upset that I missed some days of work because I had pounding headaches and was throwing up. I tried to explain things to my supervisor today and she acted like it was no big deal, that I was imagining it. And I know I wasn't. He took the pictures because I had something smeared on my face and didn't realize it. And he's mean. I'm starting to feel like I just can't compete in the workplace anymore. I have a disability and my co-workers know it. I feel like they pick on me and ostracize me because of it. I have a difficult time dealing with people who are mean or aggressive. And I'm afraid it'll be the same story if I go somewhere else. I haven't heard back from my supervisor even though she said she'd contact me. I've been praying to God for peace of mind and the answer I get is "Something will happen". I just pray it's something to my benefit. The workplace is so awful these days. Thanks for letting me vent.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 3:36:49 PM
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Yes. Bullying. And also he took your picture, Cindy - this could be stalking. PLEASE be careful. I would report it to the authorities, especially if your supervisor is not taking it seriously. And you also may want to contact an attorney to find out what your options are. You are in my prayers, sister! I'm so sorry you're going through this! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 3:54:29 PM
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That's harassment and I would definitely report it. That's not right at all. He should be ashamed of himself. How old is he? 10?
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05), Bennett (7/11/07), Truman (7/28/09) and baby Graeme (11/29/12) |
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kysheeplady
True Blue Farmgirl
1291 Posts
Teri
KY
USA
1291 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 4:00:55 PM
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Cindy,
There seems to be a few things going on here. First you do know there is a chain of command and as an employee it is YOUR right to follow it. Manager, her manager, HR. and so on. If you feel that YOUR mananger has NOT addressed this, then it is YOUR right to go to HR office. Explain to HR that you went to your manager and did not get the issue resolved. And then if you have to go to a laywer, you have followed all steps.
Good luck!
Teri
"There are black sheep in every flock"
White Sheep Farm
www.whitesheepfarm.com |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 5:47:36 PM
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Excellent advice from my fellow farmgirl sisters. I would say this is definately a form of bullying/workplace harrassment. As Teri said- if your immediate supervisor is not doing anything about it, then you need to go over her head.
This is simply NOT acceptable- and you must do what is right for yourself.
I am keeping you in my prayers Cindy. Be strong and stand up for yourself! You can do it!
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
View my New Blog:
http://simplesuburbanpleasures.blogspot.com
Everyday is a beautiful day, and sometimes the weather is even nice! |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 6:25:46 PM
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Right - harrassment. That's the word I was looking for! Cindy - there are laws about this. Please trust your instincts with this. I want you to be okay! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2875 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2875 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 6:31:48 PM
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HR, & let them know you have a lawyer on stand by
"We must reject the idea that every time a law’s broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” – R.R. |
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shanda
True Blue Farmgirl
522 Posts
Shanda
Broken Bow
OK
USA
522 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 7:07:56 PM
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I agree. Go to the next level manager, until you are heard.
Shanda
Farmgirl #4233 |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 7:17:17 PM
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First, take a DEEP breath. Now,I agree with my sisters. This is not right. He took YOUR picture and he has no right to that without your permission. I would make sure I wrote down when it happened, when and what you told him, when and what you told your supervisor, what your supervisor told you. I would make sure thatI took that toHRwhen you go and I would write down who I spoke to and when and what was said by you and HR. You may also need a lawyer, but I would start there. Keep notes.
AND know that we are here for you. You can always vent here. Know that we support you. Keep us posted. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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crittergranny
True Blue Farmgirl
1096 Posts
Laura
Lindrith
NM
USA
1096 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 7:30:09 PM
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Maybe you can have a lawyer send a letter to this person. I don't know people perplex me sometimes. I'm happier hanging out with my animals..lol. I am sooo sorry you are going through this Cindy. I wish I could be there for you. We could stick out our tounges at him after he walks by or something. Maybe your lawyer could demand that he either delete the pics or turn over his phone. There are laws concerning photographs but I don't know what they are in your state. I do know how you feel. My daughter has mild cerebral palsy and is slightly learning disabled. But it was so mild that people wouldn't treat it as a disability but just treat her as a lower form of life or something. Also it has never been legally documented and she does not get benefits or anything. She works on the ranch now and trains horses and grooms dogs, but she used to live in town and work at petco and then at petsmart and she would get treated so badly. I wanted to get hold of some of those people out behind the building. She is very sweet and gentle but they didn't have a clue how the rest of her family is, lucky for them...grrrr. If you are legally disabled you may be able to get after them on those grounds. I mean discrimination towards a disabled person is bad news for a workplace. You also may be able to get benefits like SSI and not have to work. A lot of people are on SSI that don't really need it but maybe you do Sweetie if it is causing you that amount of anxiety.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CrittergrannysLair
www.creamofthecroptrailrides.webs.com |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2013 : 8:04:55 PM
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I finally heard back from my boss--she said it would be discussed when I go back to work tomorrow. I have a feeling something happened cause it was late when she called back and she was still at work. And she's never there that late. The only person who seemed to take me seriously was one of the Sisters and I know she definitely doesn't want any trouble for the hospital. I talked to someone else and he said this type of thing goes on more than people realize. I don't want to leave my job but I could probably get back on disability if I really needed to. Only I've been there before and didn't like it. So we'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm the type of person who tends to let stress build up so when it comes out, it makes people uneasy. I also can't stand it when people lie, which often works against me. Pray for me, sisters, and I'll be strong. God bless you all.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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crittergranny
True Blue Farmgirl
1096 Posts
Laura
Lindrith
NM
USA
1096 Posts |
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magnoliakathy
True Blue Farmgirl
453 Posts
Kathryn
Magnolia
Texas
USA
453 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 06:22:39 AM
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Start a paper trail, document everything, even this latest solution from you supervisor. Full names, dates, times, details, I have had to do this in the past and when you have to go to people higher up the chain of command, these details will support your case, no it does not make you sound like a whiney child, but an informed adult. Also, when your co-workers find out you are documenting, the good people won't care because they don't have to worry about getting on your "list" and the bad ones will either hang themsleves or give you a wide berth. Never give up the original, make copies and give then when asked. After it became known that I was documenting, there was some good-natured teasing from my working friends, stares and some people leaving the room when I came in. Good luck
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 06:54:13 AM
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Yes, it's bullying. It's a hostile work environment, AND, you could have a nice lawsuit against your supervisor and company if they continue to be complacent. The disability act provides that you are able to work in a worry free environment (actually, we all are given that opportunity).
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13621 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13621 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 08:13:33 AM
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AMEN and AMEN!!! Can't agree more and going through the channels in proper order is important and documentation of EVERYTHING is essential!
I will be praying!
CJ
P.S. I have a 39 year-old son with Down Syndrome and I could tell you horror story after horror story. However, his older sister and I were/are REALLY GOOD at the "look". We can give "looks" that cause people to shrink and run away. I know, that's not the solution but it helps on some level . . I'm one "battle scarred" mom of a developmentally disabled son!
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE
my aprons - http://www.facebook.com/FarmFreshAprons
living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com
from my hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
from my hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 08:19:00 AM
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Ceejay, I've never understood how people can be so cruel. My mother's favorite cousin, Mary, was mentally disabled and I grew up playing with her (even though she was my mom's age). And later, I taught adults with Downs and other disabilities life skills and I loved each and every day I was with my students. I guess I was just raised better than most folks, because I was never allowed to see them as weird or different, I was taught to see them as gifts.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 09:27:37 AM
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You also have protection under the law with your disability. Your employer could be in a world of hurt if something isn't done. Frankly I think there should be a cpolicyin place that prevents employees from using cell phone at work for any reason during the work day with breaks being excluded. Yes, in this day, cells are a God send, but they have there place. My rule with family is that unless someone is dead dying or bleeding, don't call me at work. If you need me to pick up something or do someone after work then call during my last hour then keep it brief 2 minutes or less.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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ptroupe
True Blue Farmgirl
1752 Posts
Portia
Johnson City
NY
USA
1752 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 11:02:55 AM
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All good advice. Hope things work out. This sounds like a case for the ADA as well.
Hugs,
Portia
Wishing for the country life! |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 2:37:00 PM
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Well, I went to work today and found they had given me back my helper in the morning. Which made for a lot less stress. I told them my side of the story and they were going to talk to the other people involved. Haven't heard anything back yet. But at least they're no longer making me do everything by myself. So that's a plus.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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crittergranny
True Blue Farmgirl
1096 Posts
Laura
Lindrith
NM
USA
1096 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 3:30:42 PM
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Way to go Cindy!
As for cell phone policies I call my hubby several times a day because we are both out in potentially dangerous situations. So we need to keep an eye on each other. He has about a 100 mile radius of gas and oil wells that he has to check alone and has to drive through deep snow and mud to get to many of them all day long and if there were some sort of policy or law that said he can't use his phone it would put him in danger. I say people just need to stop being silly slackers at work and leave it to the individual business owner to make policies if they want I guess, if it's becoming a problem. He checks on me to make sure I haven't gotten kicked in the head and am laying out in the mud getting trampled.
Laura
Horse poor in the boonies.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CrittergrannysLair
www.creamofthecroptrailrides.webs.com |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 4:37:17 PM
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I can understand if you're working alone ESP.in a dangerous situation. I was referring more to office and other occupations where cells are more of a distraction than a need.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 4:48:26 PM
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I also grew up with a mentally disabled person as my best friend even though she was older then me. She had a profound effect on my life.
As for cells in the work place for sure, (good if a need-bad if a distraction). I remember one of my last times shopping in NYC and the store clerk just kept on yacking on the phone. And would huff and puff at any question I had for her, and when I asked to check out. Finally all her huffing and puffing about me actually wanting to check out (after I hung around the cash register for a good 20 minutes, trying to get some one to come over and check me out-a TINY store so it wasn't like they couldn't see me!) I finally asked the clerk to come check me out, and she huffed and puffed and then said something snotty about me to the person she was still talking to on the phone (she had been on the phone my entire shopping time!) I said you know what forget it, and put all the clothes on the counter and walked out. It was ridiculous. I said to her that I hope her boss was seeing how much money was in the cash register while she was on duty...and maybe he wouldn't be so happy with her....
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 5:06:38 PM
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Our hospital does have a cell phone policy--you can check your phone only while on break. The incident I'm talking about happened during a break. I'm kind of slow to pick up on things sometimes and I didn't realize at the time what my co-worker was doing. But I talked to a professional counselor and he said he knew of nurses who did that sort of thing--he said it was very juvenile, immature behavior but it's just a product of our technological world. I say that if everyone spent as much time and effort pursuing their own dreams as they spend trying to make other people unhappy, the world would be a better place.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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SandraM
True Blue Farmgirl
295 Posts
Sandra
Coldwater
Michigan
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 03:27:37 AM
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My daughter is working with someone who has blown up at several employees. We think he even did damage to her car. She has complained and the company is worried about a law suit and won't fire him. They are documenting everything but that doesn't help my daugther. She has considered transferring. It is a crazy work place anymore. She went out and bought some Pepper Spray because this man is so unnerving. He is in his 30's and old enough to know better she is 21.
So sorry you are being harassed. It can be very unnerving. I would document everything that happens.
Sandra
www.mittenstatesheepandwool.com |
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HodgeLodge
True Blue Farmgirl
662 Posts
Tiana
Berkeley Springs
WV
USA
662 Posts |
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Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 06:21:14 AM
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Oh Cindy, That is so mean. That would upset me also. When I hear these stories I am so glad I work for my DH in his office. From hearing these stories it makes me not ever to want to work out in the world with all these mean people. I am so sorry this happened to you. Can you get him fired some way. I thought it was against the law to take other people's picture with out their permission. That guy sounds like a weirdo...
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
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Across the Fence: Is this bullying? |
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Is this bullying?
