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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  From poor me to trying to turn it around...3/13/13  |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 10:19:38 AM
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I am so frustrated right now and I just need to vent. I know a lot of you have read and responded to my previous posts about the goings-on in my life right now. I appreciate it more that you'll ever know - good and bad.
Everything just seems to be piling up. I keep trying to put on a brave face and move on, yet I don't seem to be getting anywhere.
I just lost a friend 2 days ago to cancer. I am glad I was able to visit with her several times while she was in the hospital and give her daughter a break for a little bit. It was so hard watching her die, but I am relieved that she is no longer in any pain.
My mother, and I use that term loosely, is still being a pain in the rear regarding my grandfather.
After my DS came home from in-patient on Monday, he's been almost unbearable to be around. He won't help around the house - easy things like feeding the dogs, cats and chicks. Feeding his turtle and fish. He just complains that he can't play his xbox or get online to play games. I told him when he learns to help out, he can do those things on a limited basis, but he has to earn the privilege. That just gets me dirty looks and pouting. Keep it up, darling, keep it up.
My work is another story. I hate to be negative in this area since good jobs are so hard to come by now. My boss just really takes the cake, though. I was supposed to receive a raise at the beginning of the new year. Didn't happen - my work load increased, however. I have done everything he asks of me although sometimes I am a little slow especially when it comes to the tricky computer stuff he wants done. ie - he had me work with a guy out of California (we are in Indiana) on designing a new company webpage. I have no clue how to design a webpage! I managed to get through it, but he was constantly breathing down my neck over it. It took way longer than he thought it should. I tried to explain to him early on that I had no clue what I was doing, but he insisted I do it. Anyway - it's done.
He constantly complains about how much running 4 stores costs him, but then brags to everyone about going to Singapore in March, Bahamas in April, bought a new car in December, got a new designer dog for his kids for Christmas from a "state of the art kennel" whatever the hell that means, and it goes on and on and on and on - everyday day. It's like "Groundhog Day" the movie.
I don't mean to sound jealous - I try not to be, but we've struggled for so long and he teases me all the time about being 'country', I seriously just want to punch him in the throat. I know - not very lady like.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. It's just so frustrating. I am seriously considering looking for other employment. Some place where I can just blend in and not be noticed, do my job and get a paycheck. Right now, I am the only female other than his mother that works for the company. I think I put up with it because I know having a job is the most important thing. By the way, I have asked him to stop teasing me about eating possum, raccoon and groundhog - which I have never even tasted! That resulted in more teasing.
My DH back problems are getting worse. We've applied for Medicaid, much to my chagrin, but we have to do something before he ends up in a wheelchair.
I have two little weird bulges in my abdomen that get bigger when I eat and sometimes cause terrible pain. I went to the urgent care center, but that doctor told me it was just ulcers. I don't think so, but I don't know. I know I should go to the hospital, but I don't want to rack up another bill. We are still trying to pay down the one from last fall when DH went in for bladder issues.
I am just so tired all the time. I fall asleep on the sofa in the evening after work, wake up around 11 and go to bed and don't sleep well - weird dreams, then up at 6:30 and start the day. It's nuts.
We were going to try to take a small vacation in April just to have a break from everything for a few days, but if I change jobs, that won't happen. I feel bad because my DH really loves to go fishing at Dale Hollow in Tennessee. I know taking a vacation won't make the stress go away, but it might give me a chance to just stop and think and sort things out.
I just don't know. Thanks for letting me ramble on - cuz that's what I did and do that so well! lol.
I haven't had time or energy to list things on my etsy site or do either of my blogs. My brain is so foggy, I can't ever seem to focus on things for very long. I even made a mistake at work that cost the company $40. I was just sick over it. I paid a customer at our selling price instead of our buying price. Stupid mistake. I didn't have the extra money to pay it back so when the boss told us to close early for the day for other reasons (we were slow and another store was really busy and he needed me to take our cash to that store) and he would pay us for the time - I told him to keep my pay to make it up. I'm just thankful it was only $40 and not the $500 two other employees made earlier in the week. Both of them made $500 mistakes!
Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it! I just wish I could.
Thanks for 'listening'.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
Edited by - FARMALLChick on Mar 13 2013 10:37:55 AM |
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shanda
True Blue Farmgirl
522 Posts
Shanda
Broken Bow
OK
USA
522 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 11:49:07 AM
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wow, you need a hug, a good cup of tea, and maybe a piece of pie! Life does build up on us sometimes and we just need to vent or blow up! Prayers for you, your health and your hubby's back. And for the DS and not so dear boss!
Shanda
Farmgirl #4233 |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 12:20:09 PM
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Lora,
Sending you positive thoughts and a big ole hug.
We all need to vent sometimes. It helps just to clear all of the things going on in our heads.
I pray that things get better for you real soon!
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
View my New Blog:
http://simplesuburbanpleasures.blogspot.com
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 12:32:09 PM
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Thanks, ladies. It helps to be able to pour it out and not be judged. It also helps to sort it out when I can take a step back and re-evaluate what is going on if its on 'paper'. I'll get through it, I always have to date. I know there are so many out there that have WAY bigger problems.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7626 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7626 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 12:55:30 PM
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Hi Lora
Vent away girl it is ok with me! How can anyone help or just pray for peace for you if we dont know? I feel for you and definitely am praying for all that is going on in your life, I do hope you do get to get away though so you can re-evaluate everything or just for peace in your life. Take care with your health though or you might not be able to work at all. Like I said I am praying for you so Blessings coming your way and hugs too.
love
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
I trust in you Jesus... |
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buzzn bee
True Blue Farmgirl
1061 Posts
Deborah
Muncie
Indiana
USA
1061 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 2:52:57 PM
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Friend,
You need a big farmgirl sister hug! I will keep you in my prayers, and pray that God will lift some of this off of your shoulders.
It is okay to vent. Thankfully we are blessed with many wonderful farmsisters to listen and to hold us in their hearts when times are rough and tough.
Please know that we care and we are here for you. Meanwhile here are those big farmsister hugs! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Told you we all care!
Debbie H.
Buzzn Bee |
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rubyleesmom
Zapped Profile
190 Posts
190 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 7:15:48 PM
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| Hugs to you.. Keep your chin up girly, it will get better! I will say a prayer for you. |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7626 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7626 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 8:10:56 PM
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Yes we do care! This is the best place to be for caring friends. Mary Jane's Farm!
I love it here.
'
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I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
I trust in you Jesus... |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2013 : 8:25:59 PM
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A big hug to you, Lora. I will be praying for you.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 26 2013 : 07:03:57 AM
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Dear Lora,
My heart goes out to you. You've got sooooo much on your plate. Your boss sounds very difficult. My question is, did he make the other two employees pay for their $500 mistakes? Harsh unreasonable bosses can cause so much misery.
It sounds like so much is snowballing. Sending big hugs, warm thoughts and prayers. You can vent to your Farmgirls. :)
Maybe if you can't take a vacation right now, maybe you can get away for a day trip. Maybe visit with a friend? Even a few hours out of the house can refresh. Sometimes a cup of tea somewhere can work wonders.
Sorry to hear you are going through so much. Hope things take a better turn soon.
Hugs,
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 26 2013 : 07:46:52 AM
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BIG hugs to you, Lora - you have really been through the ringer. I'm so sorry!! The one thing I want to say most of all is that doctors are human and make mistakes just like anybody else. Trust your instincts and please get a second opinion, okay? We love you and want to be sure you are healthy! I will pray for you! This may sound trite, and I surely don't mean it to sound that way, but please remember: it's always darkest before the dawn! Good things and happier times are coming, sister! I believe that with all my heart! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 11:19:27 AM
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Dear Lora,
Too many things at once! Deal with one at a time.
First check out those bulges with a different doctor. I've never heard of ulcers causing bulges. Some things get better on their own, but others don't. Your family needs you in good working condition!
Medicaid is nothing to feel bad about! Get your husband the help he needs.
Your son has had his little pity party. Remind him that getting better is encouraged by being active, and being responsible, and that you and your husband NEED his help. No work, no fun makes perfect sense!
Take comfort in the passing of your friend. She is out of pain, in a far better place. I'm sure you were a great comfort to her in her last days. Now grab a cup of coffee, tea or something else you enjoyed sharing and a few quiet minutes and let the memories of her help you figure out how she would have helped you to help yourself.
Yes, your boss is a jerk, but that apparently is nothing new. Put up with him long enough to get that little break you and your husband need. Then head out on a job search. Jobs may be hard to find, so don't let go before you have a new one if you can possibly handle that.
Most of all, remember prayer does wonders and we are joining you in those prayers.
Let us know how you are doing.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2013 : 1:04:15 PM
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Thanks, Ladies - I'm feeling better since you all let me vent like I do. I don't have many closed friends so this is my outlet. Over the weekend, I cleaned house, made brownies and sourdough starter. I think my problem is mostly the weather causing me to feel so blue. It's been so cloudy here. I am so ready for Spring and sunshine. I was going to start some seeds also, but the farmer's almanac says to wait until the 20th.
I have sent some applications in for my husband. He's resisting, but I said either he gets a job or I start selling his guns, boat, fishing poles, lures and whatever else I can find. He just hung his head and walked away. He knows I'm right. Even if he only gets a part time gig, it would help so much.
I keep reading other posts and the issues others are dealing with and tell myself to get over what I think are issues. These girls have some way worse stuff going on. I think that offering support to others has helped me too. I know when I read - Here's a hug, or we are here for you...really goes a long way to brightening things up. Thanks again!
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 10:43:58 AM
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Hoping today is a good day after reading your posts above. How are you feeling?
Farmgirl #31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 11:10:53 AM
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You need a vacation. I go once a year to a cabin for a week with 2 of my best friends. And it
really energizes me. I even sneak off by my self to the park or beach for the day and that really helps also. I just pack a picnic lunch and take off. I shut my phone off and just relax the day away. I hope this helps you.
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 1:10:49 PM
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It's a bright shiny day. I am really tired to day though. I didn't sleep well last night. I think it was after 1 am before I fell asleep, but that dang alarm went off at 6:20. Early to bed tonight. My boss hired his nephew to work in the Indy store. I think he plans to have him work in here and I will be going to the Anderson store more (closer to home). He's getting ready to fire someone in that store I think. He's been having problems with people buying/selling on the side using his business as the meeting place. We'll see. I am also going to look at a part-time gig doing morning stocking at Menards from 5-9. I don't have to be here until 10a. I don't know what it pays, but will find out in a couple of days.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7626 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7626 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2013 : 2:08:09 PM
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My prayers are with you Lora. Good luck.
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
I trust in you Jesus... |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13639 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13639 Posts |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2013 : 11:10:02 AM
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I had an entire day to myself yesterday and did some soul searching. It is clear to me that my boss is not going to grant the promised raise. I understand. The market drop has caused our business to drop. I am going to get the company car cleaned up and ready to turn in. (I haven't been called yet, but want to be ready!) I have applied for 2 jobs at a company where a friend works. It's second shift (not my fav), but the money is way better and has benefits. AND is closer to home. I realize I have to step out of my comfort zone to make a change.
In a positive light - if I get the 2nd shift job, I can work in the gardens in the mornings when it is cooler anyway!
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7626 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7626 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2013 : 5:51:20 PM
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Lora, I am praying that you will hear soon from that 2nd shift job. and maybe it will be this week! :)
It is not easy to change jobs no matter how it is done, one of those comfort zones, supposedly any way.
Take care and blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
I trust in you Jesus... |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13639 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13639 Posts |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
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Sue Feely
True Blue Farmgirl
1044 Posts
Sue
Buffalo
New York
USA
1044 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2013 : 4:15:42 PM
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| Dear Lora - When it rains it pours, so many sad stories, you are such a good person (I have met Lora and spent a few days together) things just have to get better! I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers! |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 07:25:38 AM
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Dear Lora,
I'm checking back to see how things are going. Your whole tone changes as you look into other job possibilities. I'm praying that one of the jobs you have applied for will be the one!
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Mar 13 2013 : 10:37:32 AM
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Nothing heard about other jobs yet. Am still looking.(and working) I went to the doctor again today to have those bulges checked out. They weren't getting any smaller and are hurting more. This doctor (a chiropractor) thinks I have at least 1 hiatal hernia. He said without a barium x-ray or an endoscope - he can't be sure and he doesn't do those. He did say I need to keep a close eye on it so that it doesn't become 'strangulated' and therefore an emergency situation. This could get interesting.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
Edited by - FARMALLChick on Mar 14 2013 06:59:39 AM |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: From poor me to trying to turn it around...3/13/13 |
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From poor me to trying to turn it around...3/13/13
