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Holidays:  Lightening up!  |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 04 2012 : 1:11:10 PM
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Edited by - FebruaryViolet on Dec 05 2012 12:47:35 PM |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2012 : 2:20:11 PM
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Oh Jonni, I so understand. My family are the same way, but it's not just the cost, it's that everything has to be store bought, and nothing home made at all. Drew and I, after nearly 2 decades, got a few of our family members to give to charities in our name. We are far from comfortable financially and it's always such a head ache. Perhaps you could ask them to give you a gift card for a store and then at least you could do what you wanted with it instead of letting them choose something that you don't want or need. As for getting gifts for others, we have started socking away a bit of money from Drew's income each month to buy the required gifts for others. I really do feel for you, I too, really want very little that anyone would give me...
I never have understood wanting things just to have them either.
Hugs n' cookies =}
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
http://thegimpyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
http://pinterest.com/annikaloveshats/
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hwright95
True Blue Farmgirl
90 Posts
Heather
Murfreesboro
TN
USA
90 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2012 : 2:32:37 PM
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i understand too, we can't afford to do they gift swap with hubby's family, and no one draws names. some years they seemed to forget about us anyways. I usually make some home baked goodies, and leave it at that. I think you should give them a gift for a charity,
Heather Wright~ Farmgirl Sister #2187 “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not.”
#8213; Dr. Seuss, The Lorax
www.vintagekarmajewels.com |
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kysheeplady
True Blue Farmgirl
1291 Posts
Teri
KY
USA
1291 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2012 : 3:03:00 PM
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Well, ladies ... We can afford it, but I refused to be held hostage by mine or my hubby's family as to what they want. If you don't have it by now (ages range from 40+ -75) you don't need it. And, I will not be TOLD as to what to buy them. A gift is a gift, if they don't like it, then re gift/recycle or throw it away. We ask for nothing, and expect nothing.
However, we do give quite generously to our nieces and nephews and to the salvation army, toys for tots and local organizations.
It is very sad, that anyone should feel such frustration over something so insignificant as gift giving/receiving and dollar amount in this joyous season.
I wish you all peace this holiday.
Teri
"There are black sheep in every flock"
White Sheep Farm
www.whitesheepfarm.com |
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Emily Anna
True Blue Farmgirl
863 Posts
Emily
Fort Atkinson
WI
USA
863 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2012 : 3:34:29 PM
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Jonni,
I can totally feel your frustration. My family and I don't really exchange gifts anymore....we haven't for quite a few years. Usually my parents just give me a bit of money. This year, I am making almost all of my gifts. It is fun for me, keeps me busy, and my parents love it (which I am thankful for!) One year, instead of buying gifts, we all went to see a play, and for several years we adopted a child or family to buy gifts for and we bought things as a family to donate.
I admire one of my friends who has a young daughter because they do several types of "charity" during the holiday season. They do it as a family and her daughter knows what it means to give and help people who are less fortunate. That's what it should be about......not just buying for the sake of buying.
Do you think you could just tell them next year that you won't be interested in exchanging gifts? Then you could use the money that you would have boughten gifts with to donate to the charities you want? Just tell them that you have the things you need and would like to share some of your good fortune with others who may need it. Maybe they will see your point of view and follow suit or maybe not. You can't control what others do, but you can do what is right in your heart and lead by example for your daughter.
Emily |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2012 : 5:03:11 PM
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I hate getting a shopping list from people! If they know what they want, they should go get it themselves. Christmas is supposed to be about surprises, and actually thinking about someone else in your life enough to be able to pick something that will please them, but still surprise them! If you don't spend enough time with them during the year to have a clue about a present that would please them, why are they on your Christmas list?
This year I was so pleased to get a phone call from my 8-year-old grandson. He had just visited the secret Santa shop all by himself and picked out gifts for all of his grandparents and his momma, and he was just burstin' to tell somebody about the surprises he got gotten them. We talked about gift-giving being the essense of Christmas and how it was fun to pick out something for someone that you thought they might like because of how well you know them.
Unfortunately as you are probably aware, Secret Santa shops have a bunch of junk from third-world countries that nobody really wants or has a need for. But the joy of watching my grandson learn about buying gifts for others is something that money cannot buy.
I like to make hand-made gifts for family members. One year I gave honey in pint jars from my bees to each family. The following year two of my in-laws actually had the nerve to tell me not to give them that again! How RUDE!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blogs at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com (farming) http://brightmeadowknits.blogspot.com (knitting) or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2012 : 06:40:35 AM
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| ...ladies. I appreciate the thoughts. I'm trying to think of this in another way that isn't so negative. |
Edited by - FebruaryViolet on Dec 05 2012 12:49:30 PM |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2012 : 09:55:08 AM
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I tried the first year or two after we got married to "fit" in with DH's family's POV on Christmas gift giving. then gave it up as a very bad idea. I love making a special gift for someone that is personalized, and unique, that i know they won't get from someone else. and no one appreciated this. so rather than give into the "bullying" we simply stopped participating. i was considered to "out there" to understand so they didn't even bother asking. DH told them it was a question of finances, partially true. they were more willing to accept that than that their behavior was causing the issue! it was a problem the first year but nothing else was ever said.
i do Secret Santa for the ladies here at work, but i stick to cutesy office supplies like animal shaped sticky notes or funky colored highlighters. they get a kick out of it and enjoy searching for the little items that don't cost a lot and they like.
Some dreams are worth the risk it takes to make them real.
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2012 : 12:02:25 PM
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Brenda, I can NOT believe they asked you not to give them honey from your hives anymore. What is wrong with people? That's beyond rude, honestly--I would love that gift!
Charlotte, I think that's what we're going to have to do, is just bow out. Whether they like my reasons or no, it will make me feel better in the long run to give my few dollars to someone who needs it far more than me.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2012 : 1:42:17 PM
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wow as expensive as honey is...and how great it is...to actually tell some one that is rude. I would think that would be the last gift they would ever get from me!
Personally any more with all my siblings and own children, and parents, grandparents, etc etc. I and my children only give hand made gifts. I do a few crafts with my kids through out the year, and I tell them we are making these for the family, when we are done I store them in a plastic tub to keep them safe (moths, and what not), and in the summer I make jams, and the like. And that's what every one gets when it's gift giving time. So far every one has been super happy. My brothers really liked the rummed cherries I made them from MJF magazine suggestion! lol haha I have bought my dad a few foods, and my step mom a few foods-dad likes to try local and different kinds of sauces, so if the local farmers market has anything that catches my eye and taste like something he would like to try I get that for him. And then I give my step mom her favorite brand of salsa for a gift as well, cause she is a dr, and has very long hours, and 10 children, so doesn't get much time for shopping at places that close, and the only store that sells the locally made salsa she likes closes quite early (Small town grocery store! lol) One of my sisters likes owls, so sometimes if I see something she would like on Freecycle I get it for her (free! lol) But, other then that all our gifts are home made. And for the most part my siblings do the same-home make all their gifts too. We just have too many people to give to, to buy them all.
Plus, to be quite honest, I don't want a bunch of junk. (things from dollar store, or what not cause that's all most people would be able to afford to buy this many people in a family!). And what I have told my family is I think it's better for the grown ups of each of the families to buy their selves and own children the "big" gifts that they would really really want to buy. And just give meaningful home made gifts for all the rest of us (extended family). That way we all don't go home with a piles of junk no one wants! But, I love when my sister bakes me some brownies or cookies, of gives me pumpkin butter! Just as much if not more then my siblings love getting my home made jams, and the kids little crafts! (the crafts are usually for decorating their homes).
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Holidays: Lightening up! |
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Lightening up!
