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Gathered Up:  Over 50 Farmgirls  |
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Bearclover
True Blue Farmgirl
2391 Posts
Bunny
Gig Harbor
Wa
USA
2391 Posts |
 Posted - May 25 2013 : 7:04:51 PM
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Holly, my haybale garden isn't doing so well..lol. I over fertilized it so lost almost everything except for the squash plants. The basil got totally eaten by something. I couldn't find what it was but it was hungry!. Lost one tomato but the other is doing well. I lost the little purple bell pepper plant. I will keep trying. I think I now have it down. The bales need to be conditioned the first year only. After that they have decomposed enough on the inside that it isn't needed. Maybe next year I'll do it right.
Marianne, I'm trying not to worry so much. It would be easier if it wasn't such an important step for me. Still waiting for the lady that has the job now, to call me. I might have to give her mom a call to see what is going on. Probably out having fun this weekend! Or packing getting ready for her move.
Time for a nap!
Bunny
Farmgirl number 3738
My blogs:
www.curiousorangecat.com
Handmade stuff http://www.etsy.com/shop/CuriousOrangeCat?ref=ss_profile
Fabric website: www.bunnyroseco.etsy.com
Not all who wander are lost.../
Plan to improvise
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Bearclover
True Blue Farmgirl
2391 Posts
Bunny
Gig Harbor
Wa
USA
2391 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2013 : 7:10:24 PM
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I just found a site that talked about my chicken dream. It was actually about chicken eggs. Very large chicken eggs at that. This is what it said:
If your dream featured eggs this symbolizes fertility, new changes, birth and creative ideas. It is a great omen! It indicates that a change is around the corner. According to old dream oracles from Egyptian times this dream is connected to life and spirituality and often represents our potential within. The meaning of this dream is to apply your knowledge and experiences that you have learnt in your life so far so that you can deal any problems in the future.
Wow! I sure hope this is true. How cool is that.
Bunny
Farmgirl number 3738
My blogs:
www.curiousorangecat.com
Handmade stuff http://www.etsy.com/shop/CuriousOrangeCat?ref=ss_profile
Fabric website: www.bunnyroseco.etsy.com
Not all who wander are lost.../
Plan to improvise
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doll58maker
True Blue Farmgirl
2259 Posts
G
TX
USA
2259 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2013 : 8:12:15 PM
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It is totally cool, Bunny. It is all going to work out for you. You have had such a hard time that you can not visualize anything good happening to you but it will. Just believe.
Janet I hope you are feeling better and that nasty bruise is going away
Mar, I am so happy for you-- I can hear all the love you have for your daughter I agree with Holly. You did a good job. Enjoy the moments!
Holly that is a good thing about having a large family--all those extra hands. It makes a huge difference. And teaching all the kids to pitch in and help is good for their work ethic and gives them self worth to know they are needed as well as loved.
I will get the apartment well ahead of B's arrival but he was able to look at it online and give his approval
I have enough furniture to furnish a small hotel so I will pick whatever pieces will work for the space and make sure it isn't too feminine and he will be happy.
I can not stand the confined space of this trailer any longer and the apt is in town but an easy drive to my daughter's as often as we want to get together.
Still not a perfect plan but at least a plan. We will be near two golf courses and three dance studios and the complex sits on a large reserve (or is it preserve?) with walking trails along a creek and lots of wildlife. It will suit us both. It is a good place for us to start. The waiting is brutal but it will be worth it in the end.
Hope everyone is having a great holiday weekend. I think the rain has finally moved on
hugs to all my sistas
Gypsy #3534
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JudyT
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
Judy
Southwest
Wisconsin
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2013 : 05:15:49 AM
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I just found this forum and hope to get some advice. I'm 51 years old, my husband and I just became empty nesters two years ago when our youngest moved out to go to college, and then decided with her two sister to move down to Texas. Which is all good since we have a son, dil and two granddaughters who live there.
The thing happening now is that my parents are going to be moving in with my husband and I. My mom recently had a stroke (fully recovered) but still is feeling effects from it, and my dad is a diabetic who's health is not the greatest. I have 3 siblings and all three are not in any position to take them in. My oldest brother's health is not the greatest, as he has had many strokes since the age of 47, and my second brother is taking care of his wife who has serious health problems, and my sister who is single and just doesn't have the patience, not just for my parents who are in their late 70's she doesn't have patience for anyone and I've come to accept that that is just how she is, but she is helping where she can and that is taking care of their banking, insurance etc., which will be a big help as I can't do both, and she has offered when my husband and I want to go somewhere that she'll come and stay so we can go. I realize and have accepted that I will have no help in the care of my parents from my brothers, who believe it or not has not even contacted me about our parents coming to live with me. Which I find rather odd, because that would be the first thing I'd do if either one was taking them in, I would call them to see how I could help.
Anyway, I'm looking to see if anyone has or is dealing with anything like this, taking their parents in with no help from some of the siblings? I don't want to get resentful towards not only my brothers but the fact that I'm taking care of them. I'm trying to look at it all in a positive way, because my life really is a good life and I have my health (unlike what my bothers are dealing with) and I have a wonderful husband, who by the way made the suggestion that my parents should move in with us. I have no idea how long my parents will be with us, and I do look at this as an opportunity to spend time with them and be with them. I know it will be something I won't regret. Has anyone gone through or are going through something like this? My husband is worried though that it will wear me down taking care of them. Any advice you can give I would love to hear. If anything it sure felt good to get all this off my chest.
Thanks for listening.
I hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend.
Judy~Farmgirl Sister #599
I've lived in an urban area most my life, but now I'm living in a rural area up on a ridge in the Ocooch Mountains in Southwest Wisconsin, sharing my life at...http://dailyyarnsnmore.com
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9436 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9436 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2013 : 12:55:02 PM
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Judy,
I understand your situation, sort of. We are in the process of moving my dad in with us. My mom passed away last August and he doesn't want to be alone. My sister, who has cancer,had been helping my parents. They lived near her and when my Mom passed away my dad came to visit for a couple of months. He decided he wanted to move here with us. I have two older brothers also. The oldest is not in a position to help. Nor is my other brother as he has his mil living with them and has for quite some time. I want my dad with us. I have never lived near my parents much. About a year and a half. So I feel like I will at least have a bit of time with him, he is 87. It is hard on my sister that he is leaving but she is also dealing with chemo treatments and such and he needs someone to take care of dr's, insurance, banking,etc. My son lives at home and so we will have the ability to go away to visit our daughter's family and know that someone will be here with dad. We have had to make some modifications to the house for him.
I hope all works out for you. I don't have advice really because we are just starting this and I have no idea how will all work out with changing to a dr. and pharmacy and all that. He is independent to a point and I am hoping he can continue to be so he won't feel like someone is hovering. I find I tend to do that.
I'll be praying all works out and that you can occasionally get a break since your sister is willing.
Enjoy your weekend!
hugs.
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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Bearclover
True Blue Farmgirl
2391 Posts
Bunny
Gig Harbor
Wa
USA
2391 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2013 : 3:24:32 PM
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Judy, the only advice I can give is watch the money. I have friends taking care of parents with other siblings taking care of money and not doing it very well. If your sister has total control of the money, you need to keep on top of it too. It is probably the biggest issue to deal with. People change when there is money to deal with. Especially if they don't have to account to anyone.
Sorry to be a downer, just watched too many friends deal with this.
Bunny
Farmgirl number 3738
My blogs:
www.curiousorangecat.com
Handmade stuff http://www.etsy.com/shop/CuriousOrangeCat?ref=ss_profile
Fabric website: www.bunnyroseco.etsy.com
Not all who wander are lost.../
Plan to improvise
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Tall Holly
True Blue Farmgirl
2305 Posts
Holly
Worcester
Vermont
USA
2305 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2013 : 6:08:35 PM
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Good evening everyone,
Bunny that dream interpretation it totally cool. Even your subconscious is rooting for you.
I have not had a parent live with me. We have taken care of a neighbor for several years and she just died. Her brother has his daughter live with him. I think it is a nasty situation because I think when she moved in with him she did not think he would live this long. I think she resents the responsibility but she refuses to hire respite help so she can go shopping with out worrying. She only has respite when her sister or cousin come to relieve her. They can afford to have help and my friend offered to pay for respite for her but she refused. She told me that she and her dad rarely talk anymore. I think that must be miserable for him.
When I was growing up we had my mother's mother and aunt live with us. My granny helped my mother with the household chores. I have heard people say that they resent their new live in mothers and fathers trying to take over and do it not the way of the hostess.(for lack of a better descriptor) I think you should discuss with your parents at some time a caper chart or something and menus. I would include them while they are still able to help. Most people like to feel useful and not a burden.
I do not know what your relationship is but now you are a caretaker as well as a peer adult that changes your role to them and their role to you.
If my parents were alive and needed me I would take them in. You are right you are given a chance to share your lives again.
As for your brothers if they will not talk write a letter. Tell them your expectations of them. I would expect each of them to call at least once a week to talk to mom and dad. If they live close maybe a lunch once a month. I think because they are male you have to tell them. I think a sister has a different emotional bond. Think about.
Do you expect mom and dad to pay rent or turn over their social security checks? I think the money is an issue as Bunny has suggested. Discuss with them and your sister what they think is fair. I would guess they do not want charity either. Do not feel guilty if they want to pay rent. If you do not need the money put it in a special account to go on a vacation or to fix a piece of the house.
How is that for having an opinion?
Today the wind stopped blowing and it was a lot easier to be outside. It was also a lot easier to keep the house warm with the woodstove. Some of the stupid meat birds died from the rain and cold because they did not go into their house. We are thinking we will get more chicks in a few weeks to raise up to replace them.
Gypsy glad you can do something instead of sitting on your fingers waiting. Waiting with nothing to do would be brutal. One could get really fat or have no fingernails left with waiting with nothing to do. The preserve sounds like a nice place to be, a little peace and quiet when the rat race is pressing in.
Sweet dreams,
Holly
farmgirl #2499
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JudyT
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
Judy
Southwest
Wisconsin
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2013 : 06:05:25 AM
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Hi all, thanks for the feed back. Bunny, you are not being a downer at all, I appreciate the concern and though I do trust my sister, I am cautious. Thanks Denise, I do want my parents with us and look forward to it. I wish you well with your dad, and pray too that all works out for you as well. Thank you Holly, I did think of a few ideas, but you gave me a few more. The one thing I don't want to do is take their independence away from them and have them feel totally useless, I raised 11 children and I don't want to treat them like a child and do everything for them. My parents could still live by themselves...only...if I lived closer, because then I could stop by there most every day to check up on them, but I live 3 1/2 hours away so that wouldn't happen. I think it helped me to just write my thoughts and feelings out here, and hearing from you all has given me a lot of thought.
Thank you all so much!
Judy~Farmgirl Sister #599
I've lived in an urban area most my life, but now I'm living in a rural area up on a ridge in the Ocooch Mountains in Southwest Wisconsin, sharing my life at...http://dailyyarnsnmore.com
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Bearclover
True Blue Farmgirl
2391 Posts
Bunny
Gig Harbor
Wa
USA
2391 Posts |
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jan49829
True Blue Farmgirl
2428 Posts
Janet
Gladstone
Mi.
USA
2428 Posts |
Posted - May 27 2013 : 7:06:50 PM
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Bunny, praying your fabric sale goes beyond your expectations!!! Sent good wishes that you do get that job. Once you are moved, you will be put there without having to worry about doing it again!!!!
Judy, it is a big job taking in your parents, but I am sure you will be glad you did. We took my dad in years ago after he had a stroke, but I spoiled him and he did not want to do anything for himself, or let anyone else help him. It was me or nothing. I got so exhausted, I could not get any sleep since I had a monitor in my bedroom and he would call me about 10 times a night. I tried though, and after 6 months, we all knew that he was better off in a nursing home where he could get 24 hour care. They had a time with him, because he would not do anything on his own. He lived another 1 1/2 years in there before he passed away. I am sure with your parents, things will work out fine for all of you. Wish I had the chance to do it all over again.
Holly, sorry for sending all that bad weather, but you will be getting some nice stuff soon. We had a great weekend in the high 50s, but clod nights down to 28. Although it has been cold at night, I finally planted my green beans, wax beans and peas today, along with different herbs and flower seeds. It felt so good to finally get my hands dirty. I'm loving it!!!
Gypsy, I am glad you found a place that sounds like the both of you will like. I am happy for you that everything is falling in place for you and B. July will be here before you know it.
Denise, Praying that things work well for you and your dad moving in with you. I am sure he knows how special you are.
Marianne, Hope you had a wonderful 2 days with your DD. I am sure you did. Hope you had nice weather for all to enjoy.
Well, with all that fresh air today, I am tired. Took my shower and ready for bed. Have a great evening,
Janet
Farmgirl Sister #3340
http://hardatworkcrafts.blogspot.com
http://Jan49829.etsy.com
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JudyT
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
Judy
Southwest
Wisconsin
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2013 : 07:14:01 AM
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Good Morning All! Bunny I hope your fabric sale went well, and I'll say a prayer that you get the job and things work out for you. Janet, thanks for telling me your experience with your dad. I've gotten something from all the comments and I'm sure it will all work out for us. My mom is from the copper country, she was born and raised in Calumet Michigan. My husband and I would go to Rogers City for a fishing tournament a few years back and would go through Escanaba.
Hope you all have a beautiful day today.
Judy~Farmgirl Sister #599
I've lived in an urban area most my life, but now I'm living in a rural area up on a ridge in the Ocooch Mountains in Southwest Wisconsin, sharing my life at...http://dailyyarnsnmore.com
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Bearclover
True Blue Farmgirl
2391 Posts
Bunny
Gig Harbor
Wa
USA
2391 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2013 : 08:11:45 AM
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My fabric sale is actually this coming weekend. Sorry for the confusion. I did apply for a second job last night. The college is hiring an accounting specialist. It would be perfect for me! I would be able to save almost $1000 a month. That was my plan before so when a job in Calif did come up, I would have the money to move. It will be interesting to see what happens. Seeing as how I'm in there catalog, have the accounting teacher as a recommendation, in the honor society and already have work experience at the college. The only thing that could hold me back is my credit. With losing my house and filing bankruptcy last year...well we will just have to hope they are understanding.
Marianne, hope you had a wonderful visit with your daughter and her SO.
I'm thinking about researching the paleo diet. I know a few people using it and they are very happy with the results. Not sure if I can stick to it. But it's worth a try.
Anyway, off to work and school.
Bunny
Farmgirl number 3738
My blogs:
www.curiousorangecat.com
Handmade stuff http://www.etsy.com/shop/CuriousOrangeCat?ref=ss_profile
Fabric website: www.bunnyroseco.etsy.com
Not all who wander are lost.../
Plan to improvise
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janiee
True Blue Farmgirl
820 Posts
Janie
Shawnee
Oklahoma
USA
820 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2013 : 1:20:40 PM
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hello gals! am back at work and doing ok. will be missing my mom for quite some time. judy, i think it is great that you are taking your parents in with you. i could not do that so i spent a lot of time going back and forth from my house to my mom's and i just lost her on the 10th of may. i learned so much from her and about her and would do it all again in a heartbeat. there will be times that make you really happy and times that break your heart but you just put one step in front of the other and keep on keeping on. my brothers and one sister rarely visited her while she was alive but now that she is gone they are coming every other weekend to clean out the house and fix it up to sell. i am the executor so they cannot do it without my approval and my mom set up her will that i could sell without their approval. that went over like a lead balloon but they will just have to deal with it. please let them do what they can for as long as they can. my mom was always getting on my case because i wanted to help her get up from the chair and she would tell me over and over to let her do it herself.
well, my boss is wanting me to work--can you imagine that? hahaha
hugs to all
janiee
farmgirl #390 |
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JudyT
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
Judy
Southwest
Wisconsin
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2013 : 1:41:13 PM
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Hi Janiee, I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it, my dad loves to cook and does make most if not all of their meals, so I think spending time in the kitchen with him would be awesome, and maybe we can even share in the cooking as long as he's able to.
Judy~Farmgirl Sister #599
I've lived in an urban area most my life, but now I'm living in a rural area up on a ridge in the Ocooch Mountains in Southwest Wisconsin, sharing my life at...http://dailyyarnsnmore.com
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9436 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9436 Posts |
Posted - May 28 2013 : 3:30:03 PM
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Janiee,
So sorry for the loss of your Mom. Mine passed last August and that is why we are moving my dad here with us. I have been reading all these posts and gleaning a lot myself though Judy posted originally. It has been a big help to read all this.
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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sherone_13
True Blue Farmgirl
2460 Posts
Sherone
Evanston
WY
USA
2460 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 07:01:17 AM
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Well, apparently I should have bought the extended warranty before I turned 50! I found out yesterday that I have a partial tear on my Achilles tendon, as a result of doing water aerobics. Can you believe that! Water Aerobics! Arrrrggghh! So it is one month in the boot of shame and then back to my hot orthopedic doctor for the next step. The positive here is the HOT ortho doctor. Oh my! :)
It has been raining here for the last two days, which is wonderful for our hay crop. The temperatures have been going below freezing at night, so I am covering the veg garden and the flowers every night. It is supposed to warm up by this weekend. We usually cover everything until June 10th. That is usually the last freeze.
My youngest moved into a place with a bunch of his friends over the weekend. I am officially empty nesting. He came over last night and I just couldn't hug him enough. I sent him home with two bags of food, even though I just bought groceries for him last weekend. He's going to be fine, I know. He is a good man with a good head on his shoulders.
Btw, check out my blog for the best dang muffin recipe ever!
I hope all of you are having a great week! I read each of your post daily and am enjoying getting to know each of you.
Sherone
Farmgirl Sister #1682
Thirty-One Independent Consultant
www.mythirtyone.com/233237
My Blog
www.annapearlsattic.blogspot.com
Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we just jump on our broomsticks and fly! We are flexible that way! |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9436 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9436 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 08:37:15 AM
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Ouch Sherone! Hope you heal up quick and enjoy your doctor visits. 
We had a fire in the wood stove going last night. Was downright chilly here.
Supposed to be up in the 80's this week.
I understand what you mean about your son. I was like that when ours moved out to go to school. 
Checking out your muffin recipe!
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 1:40:21 PM
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Janie, I am glad you are getting so much help from your siblings. I hope it lasts through the entire process of getting the property ready to sell. Good luck, it will be a tough job. Thinking of you.
Judy, I will be thinking of as you get ready to have your dad move in. Love seeing your posts. Hope you stay with us and keep us updated on all your goings-on.
Good grief, Denise! Non-impact water aerobic injury? Almost unheard of! It does bring home the Over-50 feeling, doesn't it? Hope you heal up perfectly. And behave with the Doc! ;)
Bunny, it is a different world credit-wise now. I think employers should extrapolate more info from a poor driving record (repeated speeding/ DUI) than someone's credit report these days. Let's hope anyway. It is officially out of your hands. I hope you are due for the great weather this weekend that they are predicting for us. It will get more people out to your sale. Be sure to let us know how it goes.
Dh and Ihad a wonderful weekend with our favorite people --Dh and boyfriend. We bbq-ed three times. We don't bbq unless we are together and obviously, Memorial Day is the official beginning of bbq season, so we decided to get our fill! Veggie burgers, chicken sausage, teriyaki chicken. Delish! We had fun just visiting, catching up, playing games, fussing with the horses, driving the dogs crazy! Just lots of laughing.
So many of you have mentioned I must be a good mom to have such a loving daughter. I would like to think that is true, but I think the two are somewhat unrelated. I think you try your best and then sometimes you are lucky. I am not as lucky with my son. Although, we used to laugh as much as my dd and I do, we no longer are in one another's lives. Life and love interrupted what was a very happy, loving family. But, he has a family of his own now and I know he is a great dad. We did see him, his wife and their two daughters once. He is obviously a good father. They seem happy, so good enough. (It took ten years to get to this outlook.) But, as much as you cannot be exactly the same to two different children, I think both dh and I enjoyed them both. Ds had a wicked sense of humor, which I think is very important. I spent hours on the phone with him when he was in his twenties. It is a relief to be at the point where I no longer think, "What happened? What did I do wrong?" And I don't feel guilty about anything. It just is what it is. So, I want to chalk that up to being "not so lucky."
I spent the morning online dealing with banks. Somehow between dh and I, I got locked out of one of our accounts. So, unknowingly we were both trying to access one account from two different computers, using two different User IDs and passwords. Which should have worked just fine, BUT .... So then we both, frantically tried again and then requested new passwords and it just snowballed. Someone in the bank's security department was probably just laughing at us thinking we should stick to paper!
Glad to be here where all that can disappear "for no reason" is my post, not a bunch of bucks.
Hope everyone is having a lovely day,
Marianne |
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Tall Holly
True Blue Farmgirl
2305 Posts
Holly
Worcester
Vermont
USA
2305 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 2:46:25 PM
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Good evening everyone,
I am at the library because Talie is at baseball practice. Games end on Saturday. The internet would not work at my house the last few days. It is very frustrating.
We had several days of beautiful weather. Now it is raining again. the weather guessers say the rain and cold will move out after midnight and by Friday it will be in the eighties. Meterologically summer is here the weather guesser said today.
Sherone that must have been some water aerobic workout to partially tear your achilles. Heavy water? Some people have made their first cut of hay but I think it will go into haylage and not bales. The fields are very green these days.
Janiee I am glad you have some control over your mother's estate. I hope your sibs are treating you kindly. I do not have much patience for treasure diggers. I am glad you popped in. My mother died 38 years ago and I still miss her. The pain is not so acute or constantly present but there none the less. I am glad you had your mom around for so long.
Marianne, I remember you saying a while ago that your son had vanished. I hope some day he returns to your life. I listened to a show on the radio and it talked about people losing touch with one another and the one who initiated it feeling such shame for not keeping up his/her end that he/she could not get past the shame to initiate contact. I can not remember if you know where he is but if you do not and want to know my partner has those skills to find people. Maybe all he needs is a note telling him you still love him. Sometimes I send people notes because I need to do that. In that sending I do not expect a response. If I get one I am happy if I don't I am not disappointed because there were not expectations.
I am very happy that you had a great time with your dd and her partner. Laughing is good.
I am interested to hear about Judy's 11 children. Did you birth them all? combined family? adoption? I have 11 children four are not longer at home and two adult special needs foster women who have lived with me for a long time. Not many people raise large families any more.
Bunny sending hopeful thoughts your way for a great job and moments of joy.
Sweet dreams everyone,
Holly
farmgirl #2499
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 4:52:22 PM
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Holly, You make the kindest offers. I do know where my son is. And we always make sure that he has all our information, if it changes. It was in '08 when he and his family visited. We had a wonderful time. Afterward, we called them often. I wrote weekly. Sent cards, goodies, emails, everything. We were (I was) met with dead silence. Followed by a phone number change. I talked to our son on his work cell phone and asked for the new number. Heard him tell his wife, "My mom wants our new number." And heard her response... "have her call your cell." I never again was allowed to speak to the children. We have never received a school picture, Christmas, birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day cards. No phone calls. There were never any angry words or issues. Just apathy. It hurt. The people who love me encouraged me to pull back. I slowly decreased. It seems to not be missed and my heart is scabbing over, so it must be for the best. For now. Always, just for now. A mother is always hopeful.
I do thank you for your offer Holly. You can always see through the shtuff and notice what needs to be done. You are remarkable and I am happy to call you my friend.
Judy, I, too encourage you to tell us about your adventures as a mom of THAT many. I think your knitting is beautiful. You are drawn to the same projects that I love. Kinda quick, but interesting. I love your fingerless gloves. They are gorgeous. I may have to ask for a pattern (and probably some help) next winter. I tend to knit when it is cooler, how about you?
Gypsy, dear, come out, come out, wherever you are!
I once read a quote that said, "A woman is forever changed the day she loses her mother." I lost mine almost eight years ago. As Holly said, it is not as raw an ache, but it never goes away. I no longer think, "I'll call..." But, mom was a great gal! She was born in 1923, went to college, took flying lessons and waited until she was almost thirty to marry and almost forty when she had her last kid (me). Trendsetter! What's everyone's favorite Mom story? I would love to hear.
Marianne |
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doll58maker
True Blue Farmgirl
2259 Posts
G
TX
USA
2259 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 5:15:52 PM
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Marianne, I'm here. Just nothing going on in my life of interest right now. I feel dull and dreary.
My son's first wife was like your sons wife. She just did not have any feelings for anyone but herself. These people self destruct sooner or later. But your son should be ashamed of himself. I think his dad ought to call him and find out why he sees fit to allow and participate in this behavior.
hugs to all my sistas
Gypsy #3534
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jan49829
True Blue Farmgirl
2428 Posts
Janet
Gladstone
Mi.
USA
2428 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 5:33:04 PM
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Marianne, I also have a son like that. I see him on facebook once in awhile, but that is about it. He is in Korea right now, will retire from the army in July. He has not been home since 2002, when my grandson was 8 1/2. I have only seen him 4 times and he is now almost 20!!!! I would send Christmas gifts and birthday cards, etc. for years, them hubby says to quit doing that, it was just hurting me more, not knowing if they even received them. I would sneak them and finally quit all together about 5 years ago. My only wish is that they change and start coming around before it is too late and they regret losing all those years. We cannot change them, they have to do it on their own. Too bad for the grandchildren though, they are missing out on a lot of hugs and love.
My mom has been gone for over 34 years now. I think of her all the time also. She was only 57 when she died suddenly of a heart attack. I was the last one in the family to see her alive and we had a very long talk that night, just like she knew she was going to die a few hours later, she needed to get things off her chest. I was in church the next morning thanking God for the talk we had. I could feel a fluttering inside of me. When I got home, my sister and I went to her house worried that something was wrong, her newspaper and mail was still out. She was gone. The next month, both my sister and I got pregnant unexpectedly!!!!!
We are back to cool weather and more rain tomorrow. I hope we do not have a cold summer this year. Last year it was too hot, but I do not want to have to wear a jacket all year. I have grilled out a few times, I do that as much as I can. I cook just about anything on the grill. We use charcoal, and wood chips in the smoker. I love smoked turkey!!!!!
Have a great evening,
Janet
Farmgirl Sister #3340
http://hardatworkcrafts.blogspot.com
http://Jan49829.etsy.com
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JudyT
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
Judy
Southwest
Wisconsin
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2013 : 6:42:40 PM
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Oh wow Sherone, I do hope you heal fast.
As to my children, I gave birth to all of them, no combined families, just one husband ;) We'll be married 35 years this year. We have 6 boys and 5 girls, our oldest 8 are married and the youngest 3 are not and live down in Houston Texas near one of our sons, dil and granddaughters. Our children are scattered over 6 states and we have 26 grandchildren. I was a stay at home mom when they were all young and to say it was a bit crazy when they were young and all home you would be right :) I don't think most of my children will have large families like we did.
We have relationships with 8 of our children and 3 not so much. I totally understand what you ladies are going through with your adult children. My son in Texas said to me not long ago "Mom, they're missing out on having good parents in their lives, but more so, they're missing out on having GREAT grandparents in their children's lives".
I head out tomorrow for Illinois as my parents are having a moving sale this weekend, so I'll be gone for a few days. Marianne, thanks for the kind words about my knitting. Those are my favorite fingerless gloves and I would love to share the pattern. I too only knit in the winter, with the exception of a dish cloth now and again.
I hope you all have a great rest of the week and weekend.
Judy~Farmgirl Sister #599
I've lived in an urban area most my life, but now I'm living in a rural area up on a ridge in the Ocooch Mountains in Southwest Wisconsin, sharing my life at...http://dailyyarnsnmore.com
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9436 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9436 Posts |
Posted - May 30 2013 : 05:54:34 AM
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It is a beautiful sunshine-y day here today. I am going to head out in it and get some outdoor things done.
Judy, thanks for telling us about your family! We wanted a big family and we have 3 children. They have given us 5 grandchildren so far. I am sorry for those of you who are dealing with broken relationships with your children. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Though we did experience a similar situation with one of ours, we now enjoy having them close and seeing the grandchildren a lot.
My Mom passed in August. My mom and I were close and I miss the old times with her. She was suffering from Alzheimer's and so I really feel like I lost her long before she passed away. I was a late baby so I think the relationship was a bit different between the first two of my siblings and my parents and us last two. Mom was my friend and we did lots of things together when we were together. We were military and so did not have the opportunity to live near them.
Isn't it wonderful that we have our memories though we have to take the good with the bad we can choose to leave the bad ones. Seems they fade over time sometimes.
I hope you are feeling better and the doctor has helped you Sherone and that you are on your way to recovery!
Hope everyone enjoys their day.
Hugs to all
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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Edited by - levisgrammy on May 30 2013 05:56:25 AM |
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sherone_13
True Blue Farmgirl
2460 Posts
Sherone
Evanston
WY
USA
2460 Posts |
Posted - May 30 2013 : 08:26:37 AM
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What wonderful topics we are talking about right now. I can't help but jump in....
Judy - On the topic of large families, I have to say that the Pearly Gates will surely swing open for a mother of 11 children! I also say that about mothers of twins. I only have two children (I was terrible at pregnancies) and I really think God knew I was not cut out for more. I have always admired women who are able to manage a household with many children. What a busy, happy life you must have. Just the laundry scares me.
On losing a parent - I lost my Mom about 2 1/2 years ago. She was only 72. She had been a smoker most of her life and she had COPD. My son was getting ready to leave on a 2 year mission in Texas for our church. One Thursday, I got the strong prompting that I should take my DS to Phoenix to see his grandma before he left. We took off that evening and drove straight through, arriving at her home early on Friday. We had a wonderful weekend with her and my Dad. We drove back on Sunday. Monday morning, my Dad called and said that Mom had a stroke. I will forever be thankful that I listened to the prompting (I believe it was from God) to take my son to see her. She was in the hospital for 10 days, with no improvement, so we had to make the difficult decision to remove life support and let her go. One thing I have learned and want to share with others is that she made it very clear that she did not want to have a trach or be on a vent. Although, it was heart-wrenching for us to make the decision, it was so helpful to know that it was what she wanted. She had given us the gift of love by helping us in the most difficult time. Please make sure your loved ones know what you want, both by speaking with them and writing it down.
On Broken family relationships - my kids are both unmarried and are still maintaining relationships with us. However, my brother continues to put my family through this kind of thing. While I love my sister-in-law dearly, I think that they tend to lean more toward her family with their time and affection. It was always difficult for my Mom to deal with. There is a very special bond between a mom and her sons. My mom expressed that it is often difficult to understand when that changes. She was persistent (to say the least) in making sure that my brother's family knew that she was still in their lives. Cards were sent every month. Birthday presents were handmade. Holidays were always acknowledged. The result has been that those grandkids love her and respect her. It really didn't matter what the parents did. The kids saw through it. Hope this helps with your situations. :)
On the Boot of Shame - my foot hurts worse than it did before I started to wear the boot. Does that mean it's working???? You should have seen me out in the garden making rows, with this silly thing on my foot. I'm pretty sure the neighbors were pointing and laughing.
Well off to work to make money to support my crafting, sewing, gardening, and glamping habits. Have a great day, my friends!
Sherone
Farmgirl Sister #1682
Thirty-One Independent Consultant
www.mythirtyone.com/233237
My Blog
www.annapearlsattic.blogspot.com
Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we just jump on our broomsticks and fly! We are flexible that way! |
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Gathered Up: Over 50 Farmgirls |
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Over 50 Farmgirls
