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Emily Anna
True Blue Farmgirl
863 Posts
Emily
Fort Atkinson
WI
USA
863 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 08 2012 : 7:41:55 PM
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You never want to see someone get divorced, but there are cases when when it's unavoidable....this being one. So sorry you friend and her children have to go through this. I actually feel sorry for him too. Can you imagine going through life like that? I'm glad your friend is making this decision, but sad that everything will have an impact on the kids. I will keep all of them in my prayers.
Emily |
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ClaireSky
True Blue Farmgirl
1792 Posts
Julie
Arcadia
WI
USA
1792 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2012 : 5:10:15 PM
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Jonni, we as Farmgirl Sisters should do something special for her and her children for Christmas to show her that she is not in this alone and that we care and are praying for her. Maybe a care package or even a card shower.... just a thought. Divorce is a pretty lonely thing to go through.
Julie
Farmgirl #399
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2013 : 08:35:31 AM
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Julie, I am so sorry I just saw your post about doing something wonderful for my friend. I tell you, the holidays were so rough on she and her family--and I was so busy with stuff I didn't check in here as often as I'd have liked to. I saw her frequently over the holiday, but I have to say, there was a point about a week before Christmas that I called her and told her that I wasn't sure of her safety. Her husband was so angry. So volatile. More than I have ever seen him and I really thought perhaps he would hurt her. She mentioned to me at that point she had hidden the guns (they live on a rural property and target practice for fun) and that he had found them and brought them back into the house and it made my skin crawl. A few days later, the children were killed in the shooting at Sandy Hook and she said he took the guns out of the house again. Which still made my skin crawl.
It's January now, and I'll offer a bit of an update: Her husband is still living in the house they share with their boys, he has been sober for 6 weeks but it still unable to obtain a prescription for his bipolar disorder (apparently, after losing his job--and insurance--he went to a local mental health clinic and they would not treat him for his chemical imbalance while he was abusing substances (and I get that, I do...) but he is now in a severe depression as a result and will be unable to get medication for another 4 weeks in the case of relapse. I'm not certain how I feel about all that. I understand the method of treatment, but I wonder how many people actually make it to those goals without harming themselves, others or retreating back to substance abuse and self medication?
Their relationship is repaired only in their civility and respect to one another. He is no longer so wild and out of control, which makes it easier I suspect, and the boys love him desperately so she is very honestly respecting that and she is proud of him for his sobriety. She does not, however wish to remain married and they are working towards an amicable separation and divorce, but it is likely that they will retain the same residence for a time. I think that can be tricky, but even he "seems" to be coming around to the idea that their marriage has not been a healthy one for a long time, and that they would be better off as good parents to their boys to remain friends. I know other couples who have pulled it off, but they don't have the added issues of substance abuse and mental illness to contend with and even THEN I'd imagine it takes two very big people to do it.
She is working outside the home at a little restaurant near their rural property and I think that's done her some good. Seeing people, making some friends. Just getting out of her head for a few hours.
I am just heartbroken still for them that in this New Year, there are only a few new beginnings.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Need to give girlfriend advice: UPDATE
