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Parenting & Farm Kids:  kids and resentment for gardening  |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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rphelps4
True Blue Farmgirl
620 Posts
roxanna
westport
indiana
USA
620 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 30 2012 : 2:27:55 PM
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| once they reach a certain age, yes that is very normal, won't be long until you don't know anything.lol It doesn't matter what the work is, it's just part of growing up, I've been there with my kids which are now grown, and guess what all that stuff they had to do are some of their fondest menories, it will be alright mom. Roxanna |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2012 : 3:19:54 PM
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never had that problem with any of mine, they started out as babes in a sling on me, and continued to enjoy as they got old enough to help and then have their own little garden plots and then on to raiseing animals. They always ate straight out of the garden for snacks, so they are not picky eaters, and will eat anything that they could chew, lol...don't have a problem eating what they raised, as far as livestock either, and when old enough, they learned to butcher what they raised...but also they did not have video games, very little TV time, cell phones etc., and now as adults, still don't watch much TV, and neither do their kids...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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22angel
True Blue Farmgirl
498 Posts
Pam
Manitoba
Canada
498 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2012 : 5:04:33 PM
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Haha, I remember when I was a kid how much we hated weeding the garden, picking the peas & the tons of raspberries (that we gave away for free! Now they are selling them for $15 per 4L pail! How ridiculous!), beans, cucumbers, apples...and whatever else we had. We, too, ate a lot out of the garden (mostly peas & raspberries b/c they grew back - carrots not so much! lol). Funny story about where vegetables come from today. We had those mini-carrot sticks for snack, and one of the kids says "Pam, what is this?", so I told him it was the top of the carrot, where you pull it to get it come out of the garden. He looked at me like I was crazy for a minute, then he says "out of the garden?" & I said "yes out of the garden. They are the best just fresh picked out of the garden. Wipe the dirt off & yum!" He looked at me like "are you serious? Carrots come out of the dirt?". He didn't eat it after that lol. I asked him if it was because I told him that carrots came out of the ground - he said no, but I think it was! lol
Now, I am excited when I get to go out to my cousin's & help her pick the garden & freeze most of it. I think with a lot of kids & all of their "options" now, they don't necessarily understand or appreciate good food & how to get it! It's a phase that will pass....
Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself.
"When I grow up, I want to be dirt." seen on a box through construction in Wyoming 2010 |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2012 : 07:17:03 AM
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We never grew a garden until we moved here, and prior to that it was just a tomato plant and pepper plant (and herb gardens).
They really hate it and it's getting on my nerves.
I've been up prior to sunrise, grating potatoes for the dehydrator, watered the garden, picked 3 dozen green peppers, 6 lbs. of beets that are cooking for more pickling, rinsed soaked pinto beans and got them in the crockpot with onion, fed the cats, fed the barn cats, treated the goats with my beet tops, picked strawberries and they are just now getting out of bed.....Grrr!
I woke them up with Amy Grant blasting through the house. My brother gave my son some very large speakers - BWAHAHAHA!
I think they'll be getting up much earlier this month.
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
From my hands: http://pioneerpatchworkhomespun.blogspot.com/
From my Camera: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pioneerwomanatheart/
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cori1312
True Blue Farmgirl
64 Posts
Leslie
Fairborn
Ohio
USA
64 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2012 : 12:45:09 PM
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Well I'd have to say it depends on whether you started this recently, and whether they perceive any benefit from it. My parents started the garden/chicken thing when I was fifteen. To me it seemed like a hobby, not a necessity since we could well afford to buy eggs and vegetables. When they would tell us to weed the garden, yes we complained. I didn't like weeding, and it wasn't my idea to plant the garden anyway.
My brother made out worse. My dad bought about 40 chickens and my brother eventually inherited all responsibility for them, with no apparent benefit.
I would say that your children likely see it as something you chose and are forcing it on them. They don't enjoy your "hobby", and it takes time from the things they enjoy. I can understand why they resent it, having been there myself. It's not viewed the same as regular chores--like dishes, mowing the lawn, washing laundry--because they are tasks you do no matter where you live.
Perhaps the tasks that you ask them to do would be more welcome if it were tied to an allowance. That way they'd at least be able to trade doing "your" work for something that enables them to enjoy their own hobbies.
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"You don't have a soul; you are a soul. You have a body." - C.S. Lewis
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windypines
True Blue Farmgirl
4185 Posts
Michele
Bruce
Wisconsin
USA
4185 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2012 : 1:51:32 PM
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We grew up always having to help in the garden, then at 13 moved to a dairy farm and the work increased! Never enjoyed gardening, and actually still don't. We have always gardened because we had to. Yes myself and 2 sisters and 1 brother all do have our own gardens. My kids had to help on the farm and garden, and all complained and hated it. Tough love! Kristina think of that time you spent working before they got up, as quiet time! You could do all of that work probably faster then with complaining kids. I also firmly believed in working together. The job gets done alot faster, if everyone just does it. My kids are all grown now, and they complain that is all they did was work, and I tell them they didn't have to work near as hard as I did growing up! It was good for them too!
Michele |
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Farmer Judy
True Blue Farmgirl
433 Posts
Judy
North Aurora
IL
USA
433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2012 : 2:46:54 PM
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When I was 12 we moved out of Chicago to the burbs and my aunt taught us how to garden (she was my dad's Big sister and always new more). I have been gardening ever since. My kids were out in the garden even in their bouncy chairs as babys. They still hate doing garden chores but each of my kids have their favorite veggie and we grow them. My youngest (14) has an heirloom tomatoe (jujubee) that is all his and he can eat whatever grows as soon as it is ripe. My kids just accept that this is the way I am and it's not going to change so they help out whether they want to or not. This year we even brought bins upon bins of wood chips that were free and we loaded ourselves to make the paths, and they shoveled right along side everyone else. Last weekend was the first they canned so they know now they are stuck with that too.
God bless,
Judy
Farmgirl #3666
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
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Farmer Judy
True Blue Farmgirl
433 Posts
Judy
North Aurora
IL
USA
433 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2012 : 2:48:24 PM
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When I was 12 we moved out of Chicago to the burbs and my aunt taught us how to garden (she was my dad's Big sister and always new more). I have been gardening ever since. My kids were out in the garden even in their bouncy chairs as babys. They still hate doing garden chores but each of my kids have their favorite veggie and we grow them. My youngest (14) has an heirloom tomatoe (jujubee) that is all his and he can eat whatever grows as soon as it is ripe. My kids just accept that this is the way I am and it's not going to change so they help out whether they want to or not. This year we even brought bins upon bins of wood chips that were free and we loaded ourselves to make the paths, and they shoveled right along side everyone else. Last weekend was the first they canned so they know now they are stuck with that too.
God bless,
Judy
Farmgirl #3666
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Jul 31 2012 : 2:50:57 PM
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When I was a teenager, I had to walk a mile two days a week to feed the rabbits. My brother had to do the other two days, and I can remember parents doing it on fridays because of football games in town, or if we had pigs. My high school bff lived two houses away, so she would usually walk with me. My brother joined track, and eventually took over my days, in exchange for not having to do the chickens. WE HATED DOING THOSE ANIMALS. Clarice, can you hear the rabbits?
On top of that Dad would run fruit and veg from Yakima to S. Oregon, so we would have to do things like de-dirt the garlic, and can a ton. We were personal work force for wood, yard, picking stuff, etc. But I think that's why I'm a farmgirl. I have always understood that Earth is a work planet.
Now I am the neighborhood crazy chicken lady, and my brother has two cows and goats, so I guess resentment pays.
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”-Charlie Brown |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2012 : 05:31:46 AM
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We are far from having a good economy,and on top of being prepared, the food is chemical free. I just don't think they are (most of them) mature to understand the realm of it all.
On one note, my 15 yo dd loves her goats and that is why I volunteer to milk when she wants to go away for a weekend. She takes care of everything from mucking to feeding to trimming hooves. Most kids her age would love it one season, and hate it after that.
The only reason the kids have a Wii, is because someone gifted it to them. I would never buy such things, not even a Kindle or electronic book etc. Call me old fashion, but the TV and the Internet can suck my kids into a world of disrespect and laziness.
Yesterday morning, my 10 yo dd invited me to the porch to drink coffee. She loves to do this, but by the time I got done with the garden and headed to the porch, she was on the computer watching some show. Needless to day, she did not join me, and was reminded how much time she gets on it. I'm tempted to say only between certain hours for the computer. Not sure just yet, as my 20 yo ds is signed up at college for a few classes on-line too.
As for my kids helping, I don't consider them a "work force" as some of you felt as a young child. I consider it responsibilities to helping a home function. We too burn wood, and I split a cord of wood by hand one year. Myself. My son helps me now, but the kids don't realize the importance of having it, until they wake up cold and freezing and no heat.
I also feel that if I don't have my kids help with chores, I am not teaching them to be responsible with whatever they choose to do when they start working or move out. They learn communication skills, home skills and much more. I have my kids help do dishes and clean the bathroom.
When my son got his very first job, part of it was to clean the store's bathroom. If I had not taught him, he would not have felt comfortable with his job, and quit.
As a child I had to walk to school too, but now living in the country, the ride the bus.
And Michele, you are right about quiet time before they get up. I was peeling the beets and thought to myself "I'm waiting until I have them all in the pot." Quiet for sure. After they get up, it's complain, complain, complain. They want dogs, but don't want to sweep the floors or brush them.
Last night I made a very large pan of roasted veggies to go with dinner. Guess who was the first to eat them? The oldest daughter who hates the garden and has refused to help for the last 2 years. She's 18 and moving out next week. I'm thinking she'll really be missing those pickle sandwiches too.
All I can do is pray they see the point in gardening and raising our food.
Farmgirl #800
http://pioneerwomanatheart.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
From my hands: http://pioneerpatchworkhomespun.blogspot.com/
From my Camera: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pioneerwomanatheart/
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windypines
True Blue Farmgirl
4185 Posts
Michele
Bruce
Wisconsin
USA
4185 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2012 : 04:21:14 AM
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Another thought, even though they are complaining about the work, they are learning valuable life lessons. They will know how to grow their own food, and feed themselves if they ever have too. And growing up on a farm, kids learn how to work, and again, that is something that is hard to find in young people these days. We worked, but we had alot of fun to.
I am proud to have grown up a farm kid.
Michele |
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Stacy~Creativemuse
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
Stacy
Camarillo
Ca
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2012 : 2:15:42 PM
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Susan Lovejoy has wonderful books for kids to be in love with the Garden. 1st and foremost it is not pulling weeds!!! I gave the book Roots shoots buckets and boots to my mom and she Created a Pizza Garden for my 4 children and they love it!!! I need to make pizza dough so we can create those fun pizzas! She has beginning to end for them with many ideas! FUN! http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_9_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=sunflower%20houses%20by%20sharon%20lovejoy
hope this link will work for you. Gives you some fun books to check out at the library too! I've also gotten seeds from SUSTAINABLE SEED COmpany that has CHILDREN"S garden seed packet with blue corn rocket carrots easter egg radishes skyscraper sunflowers .....such delight and we sow the seeds in Tp or paper towel tube(you can cut 3 out of 1 tube) put good soil it we tie 3 with twine or yarn put in recycled lid/tray and no stress transplant and fun fun for the kids
Warmly,
Stacy~Creativemuse
Somewhere over the Rainbow is Right Here Right Now!
www.Creativemusewhereinspirationsflourish.blogspot.com
www.Creativemuse.Etsy.com |
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edlund33
True Blue Farmgirl
1501 Posts
Marilyn
Renton
WA
USA
1501 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2012 : 8:56:18 PM
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Growing up in a family that gardened and owned a landscaping business, there was always some sort of work to do. But my parents managed to make it fun by working along with us. We'd have contests to see who could fill up a bucket the fastest, or find the biggest weed, or throw branches into the truck from the furthest distance back. There was always a reward at the end of the day for work well done. For us that was our choice of things like popcorn and a TV show, an icecream cone, a bicycle ride or a trip to the library. We were expected to help out but yard work was never used as a punishment and our friends were always welcome to help if they wanted, and most of them eventually did! Dad taught us that weeding and other garden work was a way of "helping tend the plants we want to grow". I still use that concept with employees today to get them to shift their way of thinking about weeding to a more positive spin. Good luck convincing your kids to value the benefit of a hard day's work!
Cheers! ~ Marilyn
Farm Girl No. 1100
http://blueskyanddaisies.blogspot.com
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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SarahJ
True Blue Farmgirl
198 Posts
Shreveport
Louisiana
198 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 07:00:21 AM
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I think kids resent anything that means they have to do things they don't want to do. My kids have to help with household chores, and you'd think that I was putting them on a chain gang work detail. I just reiterate that chore will ALWAYS be part of life, and that as a family, we all work together.
SarahJ
Farmgirl Sister #116
http://bayoumama.wordpress.com/ |
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KatTylee
True Blue Farmgirl
230 Posts
Katrina
Mitchell
Nebraska
USA
230 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2012 : 08:56:28 AM
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They may resent you for awhile but I think they'll eventually see the value. My husband hated weeding and mowing the lawn. I think mostly because despite the "we need to..." it ended up being a he needed to do whatever. The garden and really nice lawn wasn't his choice it was his mom's. I think if he had been given something for his own fun so he could see the benefit to him he wouldn't have been so resentful. My four-year old loves to be in the garden but I think that is because he gets his own plot that is purely his to water, weed, plant, and harvest. I don't nag about the weeds because if the weeds choke out his veggies then he sees that he needs to do something about them next time. Since he loves veggies he's pretty good about taking care of things. Of course because he's only 4 I still help out quite a bit when he doesn't know it but that will wane as he gets older and more able. :)
Now that we've moved I think he misses his garden as much as I miss mine. To sum up. I think the answer is doing something like with your daughter and the goats. Find something in that realm that they really enjoy and let them own the project. It can be cooking "gourmet" meals for the family, sewing projects for the family and farm, the goats, maybe pigs, chickens, a particular plant in garden. I'm even going to do this with my hubby. ;) He gets the orchard when we find our farm. I don't want the work of an orchard, he wants apples for cider etc., and I don't want him to resent me wanting to grow things by forcing him to help. Hopefully I can continue having kids (and eventually a husband) that enjoys the work and effort that goes into a garden and farm. The reward really is worth it if they can find their personal reward.
~"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde~
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Parenting & Farm Kids: kids and resentment for gardening |
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kids and resentment for gardening
