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Family Matters:  July, really?  |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 11:10:22 AM
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So, the Mister called me yesterday all excited because the people he interviewed with Friday were "moving forward" with him--only to call totally disheartened 30 minutes later because they had just gotten bad news from upper management: while the company really wants to hire him, they won't have room for him in the budget until July unless someone leaves. (Seems that if you've been in the tech industry for 15 years, you need a really big salary.)
I've encouraged him to strike up a dialogue with his interviewer/possible supervisor so that he stays in the front of their minds, and he's trying...but girls, I don't think I've ever seen him so depressed. He spent most of last night crying. He kept saying over and over, "I'm such a bum...I can't provide for you." What's a farmgirl to do? I've done some networking and may have a lead on a short-term job for him, but his confidence is GONE.
To make matters worse, that horrible mother of his started making snarky comments about going on food stamps. Goodness knows there are far worse fates--Mom and I were on them periodically when I was growing up--but it's more than his pride can handle. (Have I mentioned how much I loathe my MIL?)
My practical side says the heck with 'em all and this is the perfect time to build our own businesses, but he's SO not there right now. Since it's Leap Day, I made him a beaded eternity band and told him to treat himself to a 'Twilight Zone' marathon. Plus, our favorite show Restaurant: Impossible is on tonight.
I think I'll make him a candlelight dinner when I get home.
Thanks, farmgirls, for being so awesome and supportive! You gals are keeping my spirits up, which helps me give HIM a boost. I now know that I don't *have* to stay when he's at his worst, which makes it easier to *choose* to help him when he needs it. Does that make sense?
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 11:26:42 AM
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Alyce-
I am truly sorry that this has happend to Ric. I don't understand why this company didn't know this before the interviews. Chin up- I know that isn't easy when someones confidence has been crushed, my heart breaks for him. And then a family member that is not supportive- shame on his mother!! I am keeping you two in my prayers- I will continue to lift you two up.
Lori
I am just a phone call away! |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 11:32:35 AM
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Thank you, my dear friend. I may take you up on that phone call after I get done with payroll. 
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 11:45:46 AM
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| I just can't even believe that they went thru the interview process with him and then told him July...are you kidding me..can't wrap my small little brain around that one!! |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 11:52:53 AM
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Your brain is far from small! Yeah, I don't get it either. Apparently upper management didn't look at his resume until after his would-be coworkers decided, "Yes, hire this guy."
Now, when I was waiting for him, I *did* overhear a few people discussing So-and-so leaving for a different job, so...my fingers are crossed there.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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Bayou Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
252 Posts
Jennifer
Star City
Arkansas
USA
252 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 11:57:46 AM
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Alyce,
I hate to hear this, and I hate it that you two are going through this right now. This may not be what you want to hear, but my momma always says that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this wasn't right for Ric, right now. Maybe this is the time for you all to build your business. He is hurting right now, and decisions don't need to be made when we are hurting. Give him a little time and discuss your business idea again. A door is opening for you guys, I just feel it. Trust and have Faith.
~Jennifer~
Farmgirl #3803
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 12:26:34 PM
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Thank you. I actually can handle that idea (that it wasn't the right one), but not sure he can just now. I agree with your mother; I do not believe in coincidence.
We both know that we want to be our own bosses and want to build our businesses to where we won't need other jobs--but Ric is kind of "set in his ways" about these things. He can't seem to think outside the proverbial box, and that's what's needed here. He needs time, you're right.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 12:29:23 PM
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| Jennifer you are a wise woman- I get too emotionally involved at times- ok all the time!! and try to be the momma bear and be protective over my family and friends! Yes Trust, Faith and Hope- we need to hang on to these and I know they are surrounding us!! |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 12:41:51 PM
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I know how that goes; I even mother-hen my coworkers. It just takes a lot of faith to get by sometimes--but that's what it's there for!
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 1:00:26 PM
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ALyce- I am sorry that this is just adding fuel to the already proverbial fire. I can understand how frustrating it must be for Ric, because naturally as "the man" of the house he wants to be the provider. Unfortunately when your self esteem is low, it is difficult to pick yourself back up again.
I am praying that something comes up, and soon! You seem like a very intelligent young lady, and you are definately a positive in the whole situation. Obviously I would try my best to limit interaction with Ric's mom- since she seems like a definate downer. Amazing that she cant see what damage she is doing/has done to her own son, but I guess sadly, some people thrive on that kind of thing- gives them a sense of power etc.
Prayers continue to go out to you. Please keep us posted!
Hugs,
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 2:05:40 PM
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Thank you Laurie. He keeps saying he's worthless--but since he's worth everything to me, I keep arguing that point. 
And thank you, again! I was feeling a bit bad about being 35, but not anymore. Not to brag, but I do have a genius-level IQ--and more importantly, a fair bit of common sense! I try to be positive for him, I really do, but he insists upon e-mailing and calling his mom every single day. It makes it very hard when she's so poisonous. She used to be CEO of a bank around here, and I pity her former employees!
My gut tells me things are going to turn around soon, but I just wish I knew when.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 2:26:17 PM
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| Dear- we are surrounding you with prayers and positive thoughts- all being sent your way. I hope you can feel our strength- things will turn around and we are here to help each step of the way! |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 3:01:57 PM
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Alyce I am keeping you and Ric in my prayers. -Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 3:23:07 PM
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Thank you, Lori and Marlee! He is doing a bit better today, but still not to where we can make plans.
My cousin suggested that, if he can confirm that he will have a job in July, he may be able to draw unemployment for a time since it would be a form of seasonal layoff. It's worth investigating.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 4:21:25 PM
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Check all your options, no matter how "out there" they seem. That sucks major about not being hired until July. Keep your head up, something will work out--it may not be what he wanted right now but it will work out. I'll set lights for you both.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
http://madame1313.wordpress.com/ |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22944 Posts
22944 Posts |
Posted - Feb 29 2012 : 8:25:41 PM
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If I remember right the headhunter said he has some other job offers lied up for him? Maybe remind him that since the are opportunities they then he definintly has value to offer. It's not his fault the economy is slow right now. Perhaps they have some freelance work he could do in the mean time? Give work history with the company and still bring in some money? *hugs* Things will work out. I have a gloomy Gus of my own that seems to just dwell and dwell on the negative. They sure can take a lot of energy but can be amazing when the are "with it" so to speak. *hugs* I hope something amazing pops through soon!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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kathleenshoop
True Blue Farmgirl
102 Posts
kathleen
oakmont
pa
USA
102 Posts |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Mar 01 2012 : 3:28:16 PM
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Thank you for the great advice, everyone (and the prayers and candles!). I know the company takes contractors, so suggesting that is a great idea! I know of at least three people who are helping look for positions for him, so yes he has a lot of value. Thanks!
And yes, it did. Watching Robert Irvine break stuff and yell at people seemed to ease a lot of tension, too. (Weirdly therapeutic I suppose.)
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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Tn.Earthmama
True Blue Farmgirl
451 Posts
Phyllis
Englewood
Tennessee
451 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2012 : 06:19:55 AM
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dear Alyce, I'm so sorry for the let down. it's hard when dealing with physical and emotional problems to have hopes dashed(even temporarily) and then have the people who are supposed to be on your side abuse you. his mothers remarks say much more about her than about him.
glad that he has you and pray that things get better soon. blessings Phyllis |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2012 : 06:50:55 AM
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Alyce, I truly believe God doesn't close a door unless he opens a window. You and Ric hang in there. He's lucky to have you, sounds like you are his rock right now.
Farmgirl Hugs,
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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musicmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Wendy
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2012 : 07:40:09 AM
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I can totally relate as my husband was unemployed for a year at one point. He was so low and I felt helpless. He even went so far to say that maybe he should leave us so that we could find a man to provide for us. Of course, I said no! It's so hard when something look so promising and then having that excitement shattered.
Here's hoping for a better day! (and your mil sounds horrid for him to be talking to!)
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2012 : 12:29:58 PM
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Phyllis, thank you. Yes, I'm worried this is going to send his health off-kilter again. His mother has really shown her true colors during this time; unfortunately, they are slime green and mud brown.
Thank you so much!
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2012 : 12:34:49 PM
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Nicole, thank you; I surely try to be. I sometimes get the impression that he's not used to having supportive people in his life. Even his so-called "best friend" can rarely be bothered to call or spend time with him--and he lives ten minutes away! My BFF lives in Montana, and we e-mail all day long!
I get so angry on Ric's behalf; it doesn't seem that people are being fair to him at all.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2012 : 12:37:07 PM
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Wendy, Ric's been saying the same thing. I put my foot down on that one. We have been through way too much together at this point!
She is horrid. She is selfish, manipulative, domineering--and he thinks she's a saint. *heavy sigh* She reminds me of my own mother, who was mentally ill and often not a good person. It scares me.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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Family Matters: July, really? |
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July, really?
