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Across the Fence:  funeral at home?  |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 3:28:50 PM
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Has anyone ever attended a funeral that was held at the deceased person's home? As in, the body and everything is at home? My aunt passed away this weekend and it was her wishes that everything be done at home, like in the "old days". I have to say we all thought she was a little strange for doing it, but felt we needed to honor her wishes. I just got back from her service at home and it was AMAZING. I can't even describe it, but there was something so special about everything having been done for her by her close family (even the preparation of the body)and having it held right where she's always lived. There was something just really special about it. :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13645 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13645 Posts |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 4:50:25 PM
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Intimate - that is the word I was looking for. It was just kind of neat and I had the same thought: I would do this when I pass on as well. :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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jessabelluh
True Blue Farmgirl
349 Posts
Jessica
South Dakota
USA
349 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 5:09:29 PM
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I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like a beautiful service!
~jess |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 5:17:36 PM
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Amy: Sorry for your loss. Yes, I've attended such a funeral. It's intimate for the family and for the deceased.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 5:27:00 PM
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Thanks, Jess and Bear. It was not unexpected as she was very sick with cancer and knew she didn't have long. From diagnosis to end was about two months - it was very fast. She was very ill at the end and her passing was really a blessing. :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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Twinsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
116 Posts
Debbie
Wyoming
USA
116 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 6:22:17 PM
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Amy, Sorry for your loss. We have been to a funeral held in the deceased person's home. It is special and usually brings family close to share special memories of the deceased. Funeral parlors can be so cold and homes are filled with warm memories of the deceased.
Twinsmom
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 7:23:36 PM
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I have an article around here somewhere about handling all aspects of "final expenses" in a down home fashion, not just the funeral. I'll see if I can't find it in case it's helpful to someone.
Edit: Ample information through mother earth news, just give "mother earth news funeral" a quick google if interested.
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
Edited by - Dusky Beauty on Jan 22 2012 7:29:20 PM |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Jan 22 2012 : 10:49:09 PM
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as freaky as it sounds the older i get the more I worry about that part of my life when it comes...I even bought the plot next to my mother as did my little sis so when that time comes we are all together...but i must say I thought those times of home funerals were gone & love the fact that someone did it....You do not have to deal with funeral homes & people who did not know your Aunt...People came cause they really knew her & wanted to pay last respects...I think its lovely........plus with her being home you didn't have to deal with the grief of endless car rides to a funeral home, talking to people who are being paid to act sad & concerned.......I now know this is something I can do for me or my husband when that time comes & to be honest it really does bring me peace.....where better for me to be those last days before the burial but home with those who love me & my chickens....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2012 : 07:00:52 AM
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I have attended funerals "at home" most of my life--it seemed to be a custom in Southern climes, within my father's family in Louisiana. The last "at home" funeral I attended was about 1989. My ballet teacher's mother, Mona, was laid out and attended at her home and come to think of it, so was her husband a few years prior. I haven't been to one like that since, and I'm not sure what it entails. Honestly, if the home is large enough and can accomodate the coffin, people, etc., I don't see the problem with it. It's how things used to be and that was obviously a comforting thought to your Aunt before she passed. I am sorry for your loss and hope that you can remember her in the way she wanted.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Sue Feely
True Blue Farmgirl
1044 Posts
Sue
Buffalo
New York
USA
1044 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2012 : 07:46:38 AM
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| I really like this idea, since about 40 years ago when my great grandmother passed, everything was set up in her home, including herself in the casket right in the living room, we had endless friends and neighbors bearing gifts of food and lots of stories were exchanged, I would love to have for myself and have already expressed these wishes to my immediate family! |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3324 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3324 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2012 : 08:11:43 AM
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I think that is beautiful!
Why not have all of your family and loved ones at home with you before you are laid to rest? There is something so very personal and loving about doing just that. I think that the whole burial ritual has evolved into a "show-case" for the survivors. It should be kept close to home and to the heart just like your aunt wanted. Good for her and good for her family who respected her last wishes.
Melody
Farmgirl #525 |
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JessieMae
True Blue Farmgirl
702 Posts
Jessie
Raleigh
North Carolina
USA
702 Posts |
Posted - Jan 23 2012 : 09:18:31 AM
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Home funerals are making a comeback. A few years ago I watched a fascinating documentary about it. Here is the link: http://www.pbs.org/pov/afamilyundertaking/
Jessie Mae
Farmgirl Sisterhood #134 |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2012 : 5:45:30 PM
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My condolences for your loss. I think that is awesome (having the service at home, that is). Check out a documentary called "A Family Undertaking" it is really eye opening and so good.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
http://madame1313.wordpress.com/ |
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oregonatural
True Blue Farmgirl
152 Posts
Susan
Sprague River
OR
USA
152 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2012 : 7:25:28 PM
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When my brother passed away, he was living in a very remote small village in Alaska. The village health officer called me and said that my brother's body was in a cold storage bay and would be fine till I got there. Wow, you have no idea how hard that hit me when I realized what he meant by that. In other words, in the village they took care of their own and as the next of kin, I was the one in charge. I flew to the village and with the help of two native women and my cousin we washed and prepared my brother's body, dressed him, combed his hair, laid him in the coffin. Then the village men put the coffin in the back of a pickup to haul it over to the village church. Intimate is the right word. I know it sounds funny to say it, but it was an honor to take care of my brother and all those who helped and participated felt the same. Yes it was difficult, but we have grown so distant from the fact of death in our culture, and I don't believe that is healthy.
In Oregon where we live, it is one of the states where it is legal to be buried on your own property (with some provisions) and my husband and I have agreed that up here on our mountain is where we expect to be laid to rest. That experience taught me that death is a natural part of life and there is no reason to be so afraid of it.
Love on,
Susan
My random wacky off-grid blog: http://oregonnatural.blogspot.com/
Blessings on you from the bottom of my mountain girl heart! |
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BusyBeeMary
True Blue Farmgirl
178 Posts
Mary
Nampa
Idaho
178 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2012 : 7:48:38 PM
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I actually have been to a service like that at my great grandmothers funeral. Back then when i was young it was very common to have the funerals at home. So sorry for your loss. Your memories of her will radiate your love forever, believe me. Been there. Blessings.
To Live a Full life one must LOVE MANY THINGS- Vincent Van Gogh
Mary Fitzpatrick
#3232
http//www.Thepurplecrazylady.blogspot.com
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Jan 26 2012 : 09:25:25 AM
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My Dad passed away 1/3/12 and was cremated. We did not have the funeral at home and I honestly would not have liked that at all, but we did not have a funeral home. We had 2 "Celebration of Life" memorial services at the church in the town he spent 75 yrs in and at the church where he had worshiped for the past 10 years. Both pastors knew my father well. My brother and I spoke about favorite memories and others shared stories of my father. It was all very intimate and personal and many people commented to me that they had changed their minds about a funeral and were now going to have "Celebration of Life" services because it was all so upbeat and also honoring of my father. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 26 2012 : 09:41:03 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss, Joey. I like that y'all celebrated your dad's passing.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Jan 26 2012 : 10:56:47 AM
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My grandmother died at home in March 1955, when I was six. The viewing was in the living room of her row house, the same room where she would set up a small table and give me pots and pans to watch the cooking shows on tv. I understood completely what was happening, and was impressed by all those people there to say goodbye to her. The following day, everyone gathered at the house again, the casket was closed and taken to the church for a Mass and burial, leaving me behind with a total stranger as babysitter.
I have never forgotten the feeling of abandonment and exclusion, and it has always haunted me. |
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Across the Fence: funeral at home? |
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funeral at home?
