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Across the Fence:  Hi-LARIOUS chicken story  |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 12:43:34 PM
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I came across this on the hobbyfarms board as a true story of the poster. Funniest farm story I think I've ever heard in my life.
...At that time, both of my boys were picky eaters. Neither would eat leftovers, so our fridge was usually filled with bowls of un-identifiable bits and pieces.
Chore time in our house is to be avoided at all costs….The chicken bucket is where we scrape everything that is left on the plates or left too long in the fridge for human consumption. On this morning, my youngest went to empty the chicken-bucket, but it was already empty. Knowing he had to find something, he went to the fridge to see if anything was scratching at the door to be let out. He found several likely bowls, emptied them into the chicken bucket, and went out to feed the chickens.
About an hour later, my oldest son wandered into the house, munching on an apple. “Chickens are dead,” he said calmly. I peered out the back door to see limp feathered bodies scattered around the yard. Three obviously ill chickens were still alive. One was staggering around making strange noises, while another lay on the ground with a glazed look in its eyes. One was spinning in circles with wings outstretched. Within minutes, all of these chickens lay motionless as well. I walked over and poked at a limp body with a stick a couple of times. No movement-no signs of violence.
I figured the boys had finally fed them something that had killed them. This was really bad, because I loved my chickens.
I knew we couldn’t eat them, but I figured I would pluck them and use the feathers for something. I have always wanted feather pillows. I didn’t want to scald them as wet feathers stink to high heaven. I got the boys and we sat down and plucked dead chickens placing their feathers in a bag, leaving their bodies under a tree until I could dispose of them. (I didn’t realize at the time you only use the down of geese, not feathers of chickens.) I ran out of garbage bags, so the boys and I hopped in the truck to go buy some more. One thing led to another, and by the time we got home it was late.
I went into the house to put bags away, when the oldest sauntered into the kitchen and started foraging through sacks of food. “Chickens are alive again.” he said, face buried in a bag. I stared out the back window to see eight naked, shivering chickens…two pecking half-heartedly in the garden, the rest squinting and staggering around extremely carefully. I went to find my youngest to see what he had fed the chickens that morning. It turns out we had a big bowl of corn niblets that had gone “fizzy” and a half a bottle of fermented apple juice. The chickens hadn’t been sick, they were drunk…and apparently had really bad hangovers.
Until their feathers grew back, people would drive past the house slowly, mouths gaping, staring wide-eyed at my naked flock… but they would swerve wildly, almost taking out the neighbor’s bushes…once the chickens got their sweaters…
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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YakLady
True Blue Farmgirl
652 Posts
Natalie
Montana
USA
652 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 1:13:33 PM
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Awesome!!! This made us cry laughing so hard thanks for sharing!
~Natalie~ Just a farmgirl in Western Montana. http://mtnme.blogspot.com
Starting a family and raising Tibetan Yaks, Nigerian Dwarf Goats, Laying hens, Muscovy ducks, and a few dogs. |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 1:15:32 PM
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Very funny story Jen! Thanks it gave me a good laugh!
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 1:33:29 PM
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WAY too hilarious!!!!! This awesome! lol hahaha I can so see this happening in my parents house! lol haha Just....awesome! lol
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 1:40:50 PM
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That is the funny thing i've ever heard. I had tears rolling down my face.Thanks Jen.
marlee |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 1:45:20 PM
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Oh, that is too funny! I can't even imagine.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 2:18:02 PM
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Many years ago my neighbor called me in tears, the school had called and said they had to have her there RIGHT NOW, and she might as well know childrens services and the sheriffs dept were there also, I offered to go with her thinking what in the world, and of course horrible thoughts were going threw my mind. We pulled up, a deputy came over and told her she was under arrest, what was she thinking allowing her 1st and 3rd graders to drink and then send them to school. She was mortiifed, she is also a devout Mormon. Long story short, they had brought homemade grape juice to school that day, and unknown to all, it had fermented, so her two kids were 4 sheets to the wind, falling down drunk. They went to the hospital for observation, the deputys and child services went to her home and all was straightened out, with the stern warning, that all grape juice was dumped out, and never made again...next day her kids were home with terrible hangovers, but would be fine, who would ever think to check their homemade juice to check it for this, I did from then on...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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hoosiercountry
True Blue Farmgirl
572 Posts
karla
north port
fl
USA
572 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 4:36:03 PM
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| LOL, Thank you for a really good laugh. |
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Lieberkim
True Blue Farmgirl
839 Posts
Kimberly
Sunnyside
WASHINGTON
USA
839 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 5:14:41 PM
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FUNNY!
Excuse the mess & the noise, my children are making happy memories |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
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Simply Satisfied
True Blue Farmgirl
427 Posts
Emily
Montana
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 8:22:35 PM
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My husband and I loved the chicken story as well as the drunk kids. Too funny ladies. Thanks so much for the laughs.
Emily
Farmgirl # 3591 |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2012 : 9:15:57 PM
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That is one funny story! Thanks for sharing with us.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17161 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17161 Posts |
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oregonatural
True Blue Farmgirl
152 Posts
Susan
Sprague River
OR
USA
152 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2012 : 5:25:18 PM
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You guys cracked me up! I needed that laugh today! What a riot. I need a pic of a hen in sweater, that is too funny.
My random wacky off-grid blog: http://oregonnatural.blogspot.com/
Blessings on you from the bottom of my mountain girl heart! |
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GinghamGirl
Schoolmarm
1415 Posts
Joyce
PE
Canada
1415 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2012 : 5:28:03 PM
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| love it!!! that way sooo funny :) Thanks for making me smile today!! |
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rubyleesmom
Zapped Profile
190 Posts
190 Posts |
Posted - Jan 13 2012 : 8:56:41 PM
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| Hee! Sounds like something that would happen around my farm...lol |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 14 2012 : 1:16:36 PM
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Love it! Shared it with a "chicken friend".
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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Across the Fence: Hi-LARIOUS chicken story |
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Hi-LARIOUS chicken story
