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Across the Fence:  whatever happened to civility???  |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 08:36:54 AM
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So, yesterday something truly shocking happened to me and I need to post about it.
After I picked up my oldest two girls from school, we had to drop a present off for one of their friends because we'd been invited to attend his birthday party this weekend, but couldn't make it. However, we wanted him to have a gift from us to open at the party even if we couldn't be there.
I haven't been to their house before, but I had their address and, unfortunately, got lost! I was driving slowly, trying to get my bearings, and finally pulled over to pull a local map from my glove box. Suddenly, a woman in a car pulled up next to us and put her window down - I put my window down, too, THINKING she was trying to offer assistance.
I was wrong! With a string of curse words she proceeded to SCREAM at me about how I was a terrible driver, I was holding up traffic (we were the only two vehicles on the road, by the way) and I should have my license taken away! I was so shocked I actually apologized and said I'd gotten lost - and she started screaming at me louder and calling me an "idiot" and a "moron." Then she screeched away in her vehicle at about 3 times the speed limit. My children were TRAUMATIZED and crying and HORRIFIED because we don't use language like that in our house.
I don't understand that woman. If I see someone pulled over in a vehicle with a map in their hands, I pull up to them and ask if I can help, I don't curse and berate them. Why did she bother stopping if all she wanted to do was be abusive? And I can't believe anyone, let alone a fellow WOMAN would curse like that - especially in front of children!
What happened to people being civil to each other? What is wrong with some people?
I did eventually find their house and deliver the gift, but we were all shaken by the whole incident.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
Edited by - LuckyMommyof5 on Sep 03 2011 08:40:51 AM |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 08:54:56 AM
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We had a situation like that in NYC the last straw for me to get out of NYC!
What happened was, we were both parked "illegally". BOTH, her and my husband! Not just my husband. However, she had went upstairs for quite some time and left her car parked illegally for who knows how long! My husband had double parked next to her, cause he was late to work, and just ran upstairs for about 5 minutes (that's how long it takes to run up 12 flights of stairs, and come back down) to just get his work shirt (he worked for transit and HAD to have his reflective wear). In the meantime she came down to go to work, and started screaming at me if the car wasn't moved, she was going to be late to work, and I told her my husband was coming right back, and he was. (again at most it took him 5 whole minutes from start to finish, and she wasn't down there that whole 5 minutes, more like about 2 minutes) if two minutes was the difference between her being on time and late then that was her fault I figured.
Any way when my husband returned she was a lot bigger then him or I. (we are both small people, we are both the size of a typical third grader-literally!) She was larger then most people especially for a woman, so she literally tried to get physical with my husband. Of course my husband didn't do anything to her but went on passed her and got in the car, and she was still up in his grill/face when he was actually in the car, trying to move it, calling him really really foul names, with my children there! And she acted like she was going to try to get to him through the window. I finally yelled at her if she was so late to work then get in her car so she could go to work cause we were leaving! any way, my husband moved, I and my children got out of the car, and started in to the building, and she stopped again (oh she was sooooooooooo late to work, she had time to do all this) and yelled out at me, by my name, and said, tell your husband he's a #($)@# and again I had two small children with me! We NEVER curse my husband and I. My kids never are exposed to this kind of language by us, and just made me so mad, and for what. Cause my husband cost her 2 whole minutes from her day, as she was just as illegally parked as us! (parked in front of the building which was not allowed, we were supposed to find street parking when you are doing that which can be miles away, which takes a while to walk. However, where we lived it was quite common though for people to park there any way and just run up to get what they need and come back, it was also quite common for people like her to get by with just parking and not even worry about when they were coming back. By, the looks of her car, I knew she was one that would just leave it there for hours! Either way though it wasn't like she was more legally parked then us or had any more rights to being there then us, if she was so worried about it, she should of been parked some where else, this was a typical spot people would be double/triple, and even quadruple parked. We lived in a small circle that had over 10 thousand (literally) apartments in that one little court! So yeah, there is going to be parking issues! When the parking lot for all 10 thousand apartments only held 150 cars! lol haha (again literally I know the 150 number cause the parking spots were numbered! And took us 5 years to get a parking spot there! And cost us monthly to rent the darn thing, however, we had the parking spot that was 2 miles away, and that's why we had on that day double parked there. However, we tried not to do that too often, but again almost every one who lived there did it from time to time).
Oh and I forgot to mention the whole time she was doing all this yelling and threatening, if she wasn't drunk/high (which I highly suspect she was by her behavior) she would of realized, NO one was parked behind her, cause it was a drive way behind her, and all she would of had to do was back up a few feet and then pull out and could of been on her merry way! In fact, it seems like I even mentioned that when she was yelling at me before my husband got there, but I can't remember. I just remember thinking what a crazy woman that she wouldn't just back up, then with her anger and REAL craziness, I got to thinking she must be drunk or on drugs!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
Edited by - MagnoliaWhisper on Sep 03 2011 09:08:30 AM |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 09:11:22 AM
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Oh dear. It just seems that people are very angry these days. It is even happening in the grocery store. The other day, I was just checking out the cheese on sale and this man challenged me if I truly knew whether the cheese I had in my hand was REALLY the cheese on sale. I said that it was because it said "Shurfine Cheddar Cheese" but he, very rudely, informed me that I didn't know what I was talking about since the cheese on sale was "mild cheddar cheese" and what I had was just "cheddar cheese". I calmly explained that normally, reg. cheese is considered mild as opposed to sharp and medium. He asked me, "So? Are you going to trust that? You are going to go all the way to the front to check out and may have to come all the way back because it is the wrong cheese." Huh???? What does he care?? So I smiled kindly and said, "I think I'll go ask that man over there." To which I bounced over to the little store guy, who affirmed that I had the right cheese. When I went back to the man and told him it was correct, he mumbled, "Well, it doesn't say "mild" so how are we supposed to know?" I was very nice to him and left with a smile on my face but for the life of me, I don't get what the big deal was. I figure life is too short to get all bent out of shape. I am going to go out on a limb, but I'm thinking that the more our society gets away from a trust and an understanding of God and His control, the angrier our society is going to get.
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 09:26:27 AM
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Mary Beth - that's crazy about the cheese! Why was this guy upset with you over it?
Heather - that's scary about that woman in NYC! And I thought the same thing about this woman who pulled up next to me - if she was so mad for "holding her up," why was she stopping to yell and scream at me??
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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mydakota
True Blue Farmgirl
152 Posts
kristi
redmond
oregon
USA
152 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 09:42:41 AM
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I am sorry all of you had these things happen to you. I just try to remember that I don't know everything about the situation. Some people just suck. Some people are pretty nice, but have things going on in their life that they aren't prepared to handle very well and so they act in ways that are uncharacteristic of them. Some are bereaved. Some are losing a loved one and feel helpless. Some have been unemployed and are running out of benefits and have no job prospects and kids to feed and are frustrated beyond belief. NONE of those things are an excuse. But they may be reasons. We can't control what people do. Only how we respond to it. That doesn't make it any more pleasant though, and I am sorry that your poor kids were shook up. I bet that was pretty scary for them.
HearthCricket Farm. Where the door is always open, and the coffee is always on. |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 10:27:19 AM
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This is why the older I get, the harder it is for me to want to be away from my house. ;) Some people, I tell you! I saw we all start a commune and never leave! :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 10:32:20 AM
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Amen to that, Amy! Ever since I joined this forum and the Farmgirl Sisterhood, I thought how nice it would be if we all lived in the same city!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 10:45:32 AM
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We had a much milder incident but one that left me shaking my head non the less. We were driving down the road after just having turned onto it. A man was pulling out of a road from our right. He was looking the other way so my sweetie braked to slow and see if he was going to actually stop. It was just a brake tap, not a noticeable stomp or anything. The fellow did look our direction, see us and come to a stop. Then he blew his horn at us and showed us a finger. His kids were in the van with him. What? Nothing even happened. I just don't get it.
I do try to keep in mind that I don't know what is going on with that person, what stressors they may be coping with. But I also know that no matter what is happening in my life that kind of behavior is not an option. Maybe coping skills are what makes the difference. I don't know, it just makes me so sad to see that behavior role modeled for children to see. Those poor kids don't have a chance.
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 1:43:21 PM
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This is why I only go to town, maybe every 2 months,because I would end up in jail if someone did that to me, in front of my kids...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 5:44:27 PM
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I almost got hit by a car walking into a business two days ago. She hit the gas out of valet parking, without even looking straight ahead. The lady driving didn't acknowledge me, 5'9' 240 lbs. Standing in front of your car, waving my arms, trying to make eye contact with her. I wanted her to see me making the ole chug-a-lug a bottle motion.
When ppl are jerks on the road, make the ole chug-a-lug, like you're downing a bottle. It makes them think you'll call the cops for thinking they are drunk. Or that you're just crazy enough.
Trish
Make cupcakes not war!
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 6:03:26 PM
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Amen Amy and Tina!
It is so much less stressful living in the country.
You know what, I actually enjoy being "stuck" behind a tractor on my way some where! I do, no kidding. It gives me time to breath and take in the scenery around me! I am so happy to be out of the city you don't know!
And Mary Beth, I agree with you too, it does have to do with people getting away from God, and I also think too wrapped up in the unimportant things. I think people especially in the cities, are into waaaaay too many things.
When I was growing up, kids got up may have a few chores, go to school, come home to a snack, do home work, play with your siblings, a few hours with the family, eating dinner together, etc. And went to bed, and did the same thing the next day. On weekends, Jill may of been in a weekend Soccer team, and John maybe a softball team, but there wasn't practice EVERY school night!
Today, people have their children in 10 different extra activities, they are driving through Mc D's for dinner while eating in the car while mom drives, to 500 places for each child's activities, dad isn't even seen cause he works from sun up to sun down to afford all this junk. And no one gets to just "be". Just be home, just be with the family for dinner, just...be.
If I had a crazy schedule like that I would be wigged out as well. The extra stress in NYC was the traffic you could be sitting in dead stop traffic for HOURS, once I was in it for 12 hours with out moving a inch! You really do start to lose your mind when that happens. Not that my husband and I are anxious people but you start to wonder if you are going to run out of gas, ever get to where you were going, when you will ever see home again, etc. We did almost run out of gas once cause of such, we just didn't intend to sit and idle in one place for 12 hours! When my parents came to visit they said wow you really have to learn patience to live here don't you. Every one always says how isn't it hard to get used to the "slow" pace of the country. Believe me, considering NYC to me the country is fast pace! Doesn't take me more then 20 minutes to get any where and back home! lol Heck took me 20 minutes to walk to my car 2 miles away in NYC! lol haha Just to get started to where I wanted to go! haha
When my inlaws came to visit my dad mentioned that to them, and they didn't get it.
But, any way, again I would rather be "stuck" behind a tractor for 5 to 10 minutes, and get a chance to look at the neighbors horses, pigs, or cattle, or even just the wheat growing, any day compared to stuck in dead lock traffic with nothing to look at but other angry faces, for 12 hours!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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alterationsbyemily
True Blue Farmgirl
691 Posts
Emily
Chambersburg
PA
USA
691 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 9:11:58 PM
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I am totally on board with this.
In York County people drive with no sense. On the one street, the speed limit is 45, I go about 45, honestly, the entire way to town it is a double yellow line. I can't count on two hands, how many times I have been passed on blind curves and on upward hills and honked and given the finger. The people have no reguard for safety here. I just tell myself, that is just how they drive in York County. I should stop saying that because if my daughter is with my husband while he is driving and he makes a fuss about someone she says, daddy that is just how they drive in York County.
On another side note, we live on a fairly busy cut through, speed limit 40 MPH, if you are going 65, you are going too slow, I am serious. The one cop will sit down the street, today he caught 7 people for speeding. This was only between the hours of 2 and 6.
I might bunker down more-so for the next week.
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Farmgirl #2951
Currently renting-farmgirl wannabe |
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Across the Fence: whatever happened to civility??? |
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whatever happened to civility???
