| Author |
Family Matters:  how can family not be important?  |
|
|
farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 06:21:15 AM
|
We are attending a family picnic this Sunday. It's not a giant extended family reunion, but it is a side of the family that used to get together more often than they do now. We try to do something twice a year so we can all keep in contact.
My uncle is not coming to the picnic because his KIDS (who are six and eight) decided they would rather hang out with friends on the lake. Another cousin is not coming because his kids (age 10 and 12) are so hyper involved with sports that they can't possibly even come for an hour because they're involved with either practice or a game (just like they are every. single. weekend. And have been since they were little.)And someone else can't come because...and someone else can't come because...even though its literally been planned since last Christmas. And they helped "choose the date".
I see this huge shift in our society away from family, and our family is one that I didn't think that would happen to. But it IS happening. Have you experienced this, too? It seems like its so hard to get everyone together because everyone is so involved in "other things". It seems like no one WANTS to get together anyway, and just wants to sink into their own little self-absorbed worlds. When I was younger, family was ALL that mattered, and we were always getting together. Now, as I have grown up, it seems that no one thinks it is a priority anymore. Thoughts?
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
|
|
Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 07:33:42 AM
|
I agree with you that extended family don't seem to be priority. I think people have just busied their lives to the point where they are now on a vicious cycle of doing and not enough time of just being with family. Lives seem to be run by kids and what they want to do all the time rather than giving the grown ups what they need and that is connection with family. Maybe that's why everyone always seem to be so stressed and frazzled. I don't know just some thoughts.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
 |
|
|
crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 07:43:25 AM
|
Amy,
This is so true..I have two brothers that hardly make it to family functions because they are either working (that I understand) but their children are so involved with sports that their families are running all over the state that we see very little of them. We all live in the same, small city in Wisconsin. My values are very different than theirs. I have always made it a priority that my daughters and I attend family functions, first communions, band concerts, picnics and whatever else maybe going on... I don't understand. This was not how we were raised, family is everything. I don't want my daughters to miss out on knowing how great the family is...we have the chance to be together for such a short time we need to share our family history with each other and treasure the love that family gives. |
|
|
|
FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 07:52:56 AM
|
This isn't anything new. My family became disconnected years ago. My Granny, Papa, and mom were the glue to the entire family. We were always getting together for reunions. My granny was especially known for traveling to go see relatives. Once they passed away no one was really interested in seeing each other anymore. There were also dysfunctional problems that caused deep and lasting rifts. The cooling off of love between family members is also predicted in the Bible. I don't like that my DD is going to grow up without the large extended family but in my case it simply can't be changed. We do our best to have a strong, solid family in our own home and hopefully it will change our future family to include more and more people.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 12:13:56 PM
|
Ingrid--you make a good point about how family seems to be centered around the kids--some marriage counselors are now saying that husbands and wives need to spend more time focusing on each other and less on the kids. Parents go to extremes so their kids will be "happy" but that's not a parent's only concern. Kids eventually will have to learn to make themselves "happy" and they won't know how. Just like so many kids I know don't know how to entertain themselves. I was content to play by myself when I was young, but I see kids today who think that's child abuse. And getting back to the subject, when I was young, one of the things that made me "happy" was seeing my relatives and having that feeling of connection. Which is so sadly lacking in today's society.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
|
farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 12:37:13 PM
|
Cindy - I have heard people say that this society now suffers from "child worship". The kids are in charge, the parents are just along for the ride (to foot the bill). The kids grow up, move out, and then the parents (if they were able to stay married) look at each other and realize they haven't really been a "couple" for the last 16, 18, 20 years. They've just been running around trying to make the kids happy.
My grandma just about fell over dead when my uncle (her son) told her he wouldn't be coming because the KIDS had decided the family should go on the lake instead. My grandma asked him point blank, "Since when do the kids get to make the decisions for the household?"
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
|
|
one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Aug 10 2011 : 10:44:44 AM
|
Families who are in sports have commitments to teams, other players, etc. What if every family decided a picnic would be better than Little League? Sports build character and fight obesity. Usually there aren't any games on Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Trish
Make cupcakes not war!
|
|
|
| |
Family Matters: how can family not be important? |
|
how can family not be important?
