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Across the Fence:  Working Full Time  |
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HollyG
True Blue Farmgirl
214 Posts
Holly
Hamburg
Arkansas
USA
214 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 11:37:38 AM
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I've been a Farmgirl for just over a month and although I enjoy it very much, I find myself becoming overwhelmed. How do you other farmgirls who work full time away from home get it all done? It's just me and my husband, but it seems like by the time I get home, get supper done - from cooking to dishes, finish up any random chores - like folding the clothes I washed & dried before work, I'm exhausted! And, that's not doing things like book-keeping for our family, sending cards, answering e-mails, painting my fingernails - any of those random things that don't take a ton of time, but I somehow struggle to complete. I keep saying I'm going to work on my yo-yo quilt while I watch TV, but I just can't seem to muster the energy to dig it out and complete even one yo-yo.
I'm gone from 7:00 - to at least 4:00 every day, and try to be in bed, relaxing, if not asleep by 9:30 or so. There just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. Any advice for doing the "fun stuff" without it seeming like a chore? I've started making my own yogurt, but I have to factor in cooking & clean-up time for that. I wanted to start making soap, but told my husband last night, that seemed more like a summer job (I'm a teacher.) Help? Anyone else out there in the same boat?
HollyG
Farmgirl #2513
www.mydeepwoodslife.com |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13635 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13635 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 12:35:52 PM
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Holly,
My daughter is a teacher too and I think she would echo your words. She is VERY BUSY with her job, because there is SOOOOO MUCH to it. It's very challenging and she cherishs the school holidays and her summer breaks. I don't even know if she'll see this thread . . .
I have been in that boat . . . things are eased up some now but I certainly can understand it. I tell my daughter to just pick one thing at a time for fun and see how it goes and to not overload.
HANG IN THERE HOLLY!!!!!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665
From my Heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
From my Hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
From my Hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
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Catherine L
True Blue Farmgirl
408 Posts
Cathy
Newton
Texas
USA
408 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 1:14:46 PM
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Holly, I am in the same boat; I teach also. I agree I have a hard time finding time to do the fun things. I try to put supper in the crockpot some days or use the pressure cooker. Shhh, don't tell anyone, but sometimes I let things go just so I can do something I want to in the evening. I have thought about finding time to do just one thing a week that isn't routine. The fun stuff. At least that way I will be doing one thing more a week than I am doing now. Cathy
~Catherine~
Farmgirl 2428 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 1:33:34 PM
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I work full time, too, Holly, and am mom to a VERY active 2 year old. Sometimes, I don't sit down until 11:00 and I'm plain stuppored. I also have 4 dogs and 2 cats to clean up after and take care of when I get home. My husband works nights, so it's the all-me show. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are the hardest for me in that, after picking the baby up at her gram's across the river, fighting traffic, I don't get home until 7:00. When I'm organized, I have supper in the crockpot or I eat a frozen meal, but I still have to fix the wee one something because she's always on some sort of hunger strike and doesn't like this or that, one week to the next. So, clean up from supper, feed the dogs/cats, let everybody out, do some laundry, bath time for the little one, then it's about 10:00 or so. Usually, I'm still in my work clothes, but have long ditched my heels for my Dansko's...
I tell you what. The only time I get to myself is about midnight or so, when I attempt to read a magazine or a chapter in a book before falling asleep with it in my hands. I'm usually asleep by 12:20, if that tells you anything!!!! And, as far as getting everything done, I simply can't let it get out of control to begin with. I have this goal almost every evening...if I do dishes, clean the commode and cat litter, then I can sit down and watch tv at 10. Or something like that. Otherwise, I'd just keep goin' until I fell down.
On weekends, though, I've made a pact with myself that I do something for myself. Whether it's cleaning or baking, or shopping, or a hair appointment, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 2:50:42 PM
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Oh Holly! I hear ya! I don't even work full time, 24-32 hours per week and I can't seem to find time for much else. And we finally closed on our dream, 40 acres & house. It has sat vacant for 2 years so there is a lot of cleaning and prep work to do before we can move. Now I get to do that and pack the apartment we've been living in for over a year. Then we have a house in Colorado that we'll need to pack and move. I get exhausted just thinking of it. The only thing that keeps me going is that some day soon I can wake up, look out my window and not see anyone for miles! I guess we all do what we can then try to do a little more. Maybe take one day (or evening) where you eat a microwave dinner (no cooking or cleaning)then spend the rest of the evening on pampering yourself or doing something fun with your family? All work and no play not only makes Jane a dull girl but also tired and cranky!
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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Lady Woodworker
True Blue Farmgirl
259 Posts
Karen
Chamberlain
Maine
USA
259 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 3:59:42 PM
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My work place is 100 miles from home so I have to rent an apartment, drive up on Sunday nights (or early Monday mornings) and then be away from home Monday-Thursday. I work 10-hour days. After work I go to the exercise room and usually run a few miles on the treadmill.
Maybe I was a hamster in a former life.
I nearly always take work home with me on weekends. I put in more than 40 hours, for sure.
I feel like I'm always working. I have a good job (magazine editor)--but it's a lot of responsibility.
One of the things I now do to relax is to visit this forum when I can. I work almost exclusively with men so it's really nice to visit with women from time to time. Reading about kids and chickens and sewing aprons and all sorts of nice things like that helps me feel less alone.
Back at home I have a nice husband and two cats. That is where I want to be. If only I could figure out a way to work from home--or at least nearby. When I'm there I relax in a variety of ways: knitting, cooking, doing woodworking, volunteering, writing, watching movies; not that I get to do much of any of these in a week's time.
One new favorite thing is that my husband and I have started a new habit of taking our morning coffee or tea into the living room (no TV in there) and just sitting and talking. Sometimes we discuss the day but often we ponder big questions. We learn so much and enjoy these times of togetherness. It's especially nice at this time of year with the woodstove to warm us.
Balance is difficult. I don't have it but I keep striving...
Karen
Farmgirl Sister # 2419 |
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 4:46:08 PM
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It's a constant challenge for me too. I work full-time and commute 33 miles each way, plus you add in the errand running etc. and some weeks there's not much time at home. I've come to realize that if I can just have two days in a row at home without driving I can feel very restored - I have also relaxed my housekeeping standards. I don't have any specific advice as we are in a time of transition with my husband having opened a new business, my work hours changing and one kid graduating this year and another just moved home but - take your time where you can, and don't try to do too much. I have all kinds of hobbies that I do "a little" but there's no way I can do them all the time. This time of year I start thinking about the garden, and that's all I do.
I don't know if there are any easy answers but it sure helps having fellow farmgirls to commiserate with!!
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2011 : 8:12:07 PM
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I work full time and sometimes I have lots of energy and sometimes I'm just dragging. So I try to get a lot accomplished on my high energy days, even if it means not falling asleep till 2 a.m. Probably not very practical for someone who has a family, but it works for me (my family is a dog and two birds). I wish I had more time to do things like make homemade bread, but since it's just me, I let some thinngs go, like cleaning the house. I'm also doing a lot of writing in my spare time; and I seem to write best when I push myself. So maybe I'm just not meant to be a happy homemaker. I'd settle for being a happy (and published) writer.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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katmom
True Blue Farmgirl
17161 Posts
Grace
WACAL Gal
WashCalif.
USA
17161 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2011 : 10:22:42 AM
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oh Holly, it's the age old question....how does one get anything done!
if you ever figure it out,,,,shoot me an email! lol!
in the mean time, don't stress over the 'un-done' things,,, just enjoy what ever you are able to do...
if i told you how many UFO's (un-finished objects/projects) I had, it would probablly give you heart failure!
and I am constantly adding to the pile!
p.s. a glass of wine doesn't hurt either! wink wink!
>^..^<
Happiness is being a katmom.
"Is it time for my Dirt Manicure yet!"
www.katmom4.blogspot.com & http://www.graciesvictorianrose.blogspot.com
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2011 : 11:58:59 AM
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One of the things I like to do is "over cook" and then freeze the extra. So I cook usually for about 6 people and then freeze what we don't eat. Some nights it's easy to just defrost from Chili instead of making a whole meal.
The other thing is- relax! Don't try to live up to other's expectations. Just find what works in your life. If what you are doing for fun starts to stress you out- something is off kilter.
I find that on my days off I set a timer for cleaning and once that is done, I can do something fun. It takes will power and self motivation to actually power clean straight out of 3 hours or whatever, but it's amazing what you can get done in that time!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2011 : 6:30:10 PM
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Oh CIndy, you and me both. I have a trilogy I am trying to find an agent for.
There are only so many days in a week and hours in a day. You can't do it all. that's for sure, but just try to do what makes you happy at least a few times a week. CHores will always be there. Personally I like when the BF (Soon to be hubby) and I do dishes together. It gives time to talk and play. Dishes can be fun that way. We like to cook together too and just rearranged the shed. I'm an organized freak and he's not, but it gave us time together. I agree with Alee, relax (OK Laurie listen to your own words here). It's too easy to get overwhelmed by it all, so don't stress it.
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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debbies journey
True Blue Farmgirl
635 Posts
debbie
anchorage
ak
USA
635 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2011 : 10:23:04 PM
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Holly,
I know how you feel, I try to get all the chores done first, and then find I'm too tired to do anything else. So I have started to take
short periods of time, like 15 to 30 minutes, BEFORE anything else,
to do a little mail art or work on quilt blocks!
I don't get alot done, but it makes me feel good to lose myself for a few minutes and it makes my whole day better, and the chores alittle
easier!
Debbie
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Edited by - debbies journey on Feb 12 2011 10:38:20 PM |
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nh.farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
74 Posts
Barbara
New Hampshire
USA
74 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2011 : 09:50:25 AM
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Hi Holly!
I am in complete sympathy as I know the feeling well. Here are a few things maybe you could try doing. Possibly you are already doing some of these things, but just maybe there will be something here that might help you out. Here's my list:
1- Plan meals ahead of time and have a cooking blitz only one day a week - maybe on Saturday or Sunday. Plan and cook 3 or 4 meals, each meal with enough for you and hub for 2 nights. Break the meals up and freeze so you simply need only to take out in the morning what you want for supper that night. Then when you get home, just heat and eat.
2- Get hub to do the dishes. Barring this idea and if you need to do them yourself, there shouldn't be much to do with the heat and eat plan above. I personally don't recommend paper plates for any meals except sandwiches and that sort of thing - first, because of the added expense and also for "green" considerations; second, because a farmgirl needs the luxury of pretty dishes to look at and use during the week - they make you feel good and you need beauty in your life. 
3- Utilize a slow-cooker which you get ready the night before, pop in refridge overnight, and in the morning just turn out before heading off to work.
4- Plan simple, easy-to-prepare meals. Here's one of my simple and fast favorites (prep time less than 5 minutes):
1 pkg ground turkey
1 can mixed veggies
1 can turkey gravey (or chicken gravey)
1 pkg tater tots
Preheat oven to 375. In casserole mix the ground turkey with the gravey; drain and add the can of mixed vegetables; cover entire top with the tater tots, and bake for about 35 to 45 minutes or until your tater tots are nicely browned on the top. (For me and my oven, this takes maybe 40 minutes.) Set your timer for the 40+/- minutes.
Okay, now this is maybe the most important part of this recipe: During the 45 (give or take) minutes that your super-easy casserole bakes in the oven, use this time to relax while your house fills with the wonderful aroma of the casserole. Since you'll also want the casserole to sit at least 10 minutes once you take it out of the oven, you have nearly an hour. This is YOUR TIME to do as you wish - to relax and unwind, to pour yourself a little glass of port or make yourself a cup of your favorte tea, to work on a few yoyos for your quilt, to bathe, to do whatever YOU want to do.
You've probably already noticed that, if you don't carve the time out for yourself, nobody else it going to. Change the way you handle your time, and make the time for yourself.
I actually had to make two little paper signs (with same message) for myself that I tape to both the front and back of my sweater. My signs read: "MY TIME! Unless ABSOLATE EMERGENCY, please respect my time. [And then I list what constitutes an emergency to me: House is on fire, you're injuried or think you're dying, cats are injured or dying; the police are at our door; the country is suddenly under attack; the sky is falling." So housework, laundry, where can he find a pair of clean socks, etc. etc. are not emergencies. It's up to you to strictly enforce your rules for your time. A clever little trick is that this can also be hub's uninterrupted free time, too.  No computer (unless that's what YOU decide to do with your free time.
As far as doing fun stuff so that it doesn't seem like a chore, I can only think of one thing: Be mindful and in the moment. And if you're not doing something that fills you with absolute joy, don't do it.
Are you a Gemini by any chance?
But yes, I do think you are on the right track. Leave all thoughts of soapmaking for the summer; tell yourself you are going to work on your quilt during the winter; find a new fingernail routine, maybe streamlining to a French manicure, for instance, that will last several days longer than polish. Set up automatic payments through your bank/checking account for routine monthly bills (this saves a LOT of time on the constant drudgery of checking-writing, envelopes, and stamps, and is actually a free service that many banks offer, thus even saving the expense of the stamps(!); it will take you a bit of time to get it set up, but once it is, I find this a real time and money saver!
Well good luck with whatever you decide!! Hugs and best wishes!!
Barbara
]
"If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."
- Edward Hopper
www.newhampshirefarmgirl.blogspot.com
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nh.farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
74 Posts
Barbara
New Hampshire
USA
74 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2011 : 11:15:31 AM
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Wow, a trilogy!! I was wondering if there were any writers here - aside from Mary Jane, of course. I just finished a novel and am presently working on revisions, editing, and polishing, so I am nowhere even CLOSE to someone who has written and finished not one, but THREE - wow!!! I'd love to stayed informed about your search for an agent! :) Best of all wishes and luck!
Barbara
"If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."
- Edward Hopper
www.newhampshirefarmgirl.blogspot.com
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HollyG
True Blue Farmgirl
214 Posts
Holly
Hamburg
Arkansas
USA
214 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 08:09:24 AM
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Thanks for all of the advice and tips. I ended up with 2 1/2 snow days (we just aren't prepared for snow and ice in South Arkansas.) I discovered, much to my dismay, I am the source of much of my problem! Yes, I'll admit it. I'm the problem! I read. That is my time sucker. My kindle and any other book or magazine I can pick up. Truthfully, I'd rather read than do anything else and it's catching up with me....has caught up with me? So, I think I'm going to re-evaulate my daily schedule.
I am an Aries (for Barbara who asked) who was raised by OCD parents. We only played when all the work was done. Well, as an adult, my work never gets done like it did when I had mom's chore list. I either feel guilty for playing, don't play at all, or play all day. I have balance issues! I'm going to try to take time for me during the day in smaller increments so that I don't feel deprived, yet set a goal to get things done more efficiently. I've slipped on my planning - my monthly menus, shopping lists, daily cleaning schedule (my routine used to be 30 min. per day every day except Sunday and my house stayed spotless. Why did I stop this again?) Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to know I'm not the only one in this boat.
HollyG
Farmgirl #2513
www.mydeepwoodslife.com |
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nh.farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
74 Posts
Barbara
New Hampshire
USA
74 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2011 : 10:25:19 AM
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Holly,
I was raised by parents like that too, so I know exactly what you mean.
The nice thing about being an adult is that you are free to reinvent parts of your life that are not working for YOU.
You go girl!!
Barbara
"If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint."
- Edward Hopper
www.newhampshirefarmgirl.blogspot.com
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Across the Fence: Working Full Time |
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Working Full Time
