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Gathered Up:  Christian farmgirls?  |
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MrsHurlbut
True Blue Farmgirl
117 Posts
Nikki
Carthage
MO
USA
117 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 23 2015 : 06:52:22 AM
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Good Morning all....Prayer request here:
So, you know when your younger and they say "you marry your father". Well, that couldn't be more true. My husband and I have been together for about 6 years, married for 3. We've been on an off alot at first but finally decided to grow up and get married and do things the right way. He has two kids from a previous marriage that we have 50/50 custody with (although it's usually more 60/40). And we have 2 little girls together. So we have a fully house. We are youth directors at our church, both of us are in the military, and we both work full time jobs, so we're pretty busy.
Every 6 months we have a fight. Not knock down drag out by any means, just fighting. I need help around the house. I have high anxiety. My mom and my grandma and my father do so I have a feeling it's genetic. So I get easily overwhelmed with house work. Military stuff, not so much, housework yes. lol. Well, trying to raise 4 children, along with my husband, is becoming really overwhelming. My husband was not raised in a family that taught him any initiative at all. There can be laundry overflowing, trash overflowing, dishes in the sink. He doesn't know how to just go do them, he has to be told. Then I'm the nagging wife. It's a vicious cycle.
This is both of our second marriages. I'm determined to get things right this time, live for God and be the best wife I can be. But, I need prayers. I'm struggling bad these last few weeks. I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water with everything that's happening. I feel like I can't even keep up.
Thank you girls.
Mrs Hurlbut #5131
Wife, Mother, Soldier, Blessed |
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ClaireSky
True Blue Farmgirl
1792 Posts
Julie
Arcadia
WI
USA
1792 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2015 : 07:52:01 AM
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Nikki, you sure have a full plate. I live by myself and I still can't get every thing done that I want. I do know of a website that helps a person get organized/motivated with things that need to get done around the house and it almost feels like it isn't a chore.... http://www.flylady.net/ It really has helped me.
I know of a wonderful couple that was on the brink of divorce... through their pastor, they learned to ask each other a simple question each day and that was, "What is the one thing that I can do for you that would make your life easier or better?" It might take care of the nagging wife thing.
I will be sending up a prayer for you. God Bless.
Julie 
Farmgirl #399
May 2010 Farmgirl of the Month
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2015 : 08:28:14 AM
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Oh, Rae! I'm so sorry - I think I missed your post! I'm glad you're happier now that you're retired! Hopefully now that you're home, you're blood pressure and weight will even out. Stress is definitely a killer on all counts. I'm so glad you've removed yourself from that employment situation. Working for yourself on important things at home is so much more satisfying, don't you think? :) You're in my prayers, sister!
Nikki - I absolutely did NOT marry MY father (praise God!) - but I think now that my hubby's getting older, I definitely married HIS father! (God help me!) LOL! It sounds like you are so overwhelmed, sister. I will pray for you. I have a question for you, though... What are you and your hubby doing to make some "just us" time? I know when you're juggling everything and priorities are high, it's almost impossible to do that, but it's super duper important that you do. Even if that means you make a couple of sandwiches and just go sit in the car together to have lunch and talk, you will be giving each other a tremendous gift. Husbands and wives both need time together when they shut out the world and just focus on being together. That doesn't mean you don't talk about your concerns, but it does mean that those concerns are not the center of your marriage. It's amazing what good will come from taking just a few moments' time out and smiling at each other, telling a funny story that happened to you, discussing what you'd like to do together and making plans for more "just us" time. It doesn't have to be a fancy date, an expensive night out - it just needs to be time where you remember why you fell in love with each other - because you really LIKE each other and being together. You are each other's sanctuary!
You also need to figure out how to do something just for you every once in a while. Again, BELIEVE me, I know how near impossible that can be. "Just for you" doesn't necessarily mean going out for a day of beauty, either. It can mean picking something you like to do and incorporating it in part of your daily routine - maybe bubbles in the bath at the end of the day instead of a quick hot shower before bed... Or, maybe when everyone has finally gone to sleep, you can read a favorite book or sneak in a favorite t.v. program... Or maybe you just need to plug in your earbuds and listen to some of your favorite music while your husband snores beside you. I, personally, like pulling out my Kindle and watching an interesting how-to video on YouTube while my bulldozer tosses and turns next to me. It's just something I do for me, and it makes me happy. And one really important thing I do when I'm feeling absolutely exhausted is to put dinner in the oven, let my guys figure out the next hour for themselves, and crawl under the covers for a quick nap. Sleep is the number one thing I lack on a daily basis. When my body needs it, I manage to squirrel away a short time to myself to refresh by catching some zzz's... It makes me feel so much better, it makes my head clearer, and it makes me a much nicer wife and Mom! ;) Remember, although at times you may feel like it, you are NOT nothing, sister! YOU are most important! And to your family, you are EVERYTHING, even though they might not say so. Your husband is the head, but you are the heart. If the blood isn't pumping and flowing properly, the rest of the body falls apart... It's okay - you have to take care of you, too!
And I'm sure you know this, but there are many, many free family activities out there so you can all take a fun time out together... Long nature walks in the woods, free days at the museum, making cookies or pie or pizza together, a day of hay bale mazes and pumpkin pickin' at the local farm, card-making at the holidays, popcorn and a movie on Netflix on a chilly afternoon... My foster daughter loves taking her whole family out for a day of geocaching! They LOVE it! Again, it doesn't have to be expensive, it just has to be a fun time out from the usually "have to's" - an activity, just for fun, that you all can enjoy. In this day and age where electronics and activities seem to pull the family apart, it's IMPERATIVE that you find things to help keep the family bond together, so make time to have fun! And the old adage is very true: the family that prays together stays together. There are days when we all are so frustrated with each other that we retreat to our own areas of the house, but we always pray at meals, we always pray together before bed - even when we don't want to look at each other! LOL! Seriously, though, focusing on the Lord may not take away all our anger or problems, but realizing that He is the center of our lives and so much bigger than anything with which we are contending makes all the difference in the world.
We, as women, sure do the majority of the juggling and housework. I am STILL finding myself folding laundry at midnight sometimes, and our son is grown! And it's hard because what we do is a given - it's not like people recognize that the toilet paper was changed a couple of times by Mom every week - it's just magically there! The one thing that always amazed me was how people couldn't see that the living room needed to be picked up, or that the dishes needed to be washed... if I saw them, how could they NOT see them? But the truth is, they don't. It's ridiculous, but they don't. Unless it's something important to their immediate comfort or happiness, it's just not that important to them. SO, I learned over time to pick my own internal battles. I learned to say, "no." I learned that if my chores caused dinner to be a little late, suddenly my family asked why dinner was late. When I explained what I needed to accomplish before I could make dinner, they offered to help because suddenly their happiness was affected - do you know what I mean? I didn't do it to manipulate, I did it because I realized MY happiness mattered, too. And if getting that one project tackled made me happier and able to relax and not have to rush through dinner to get back to that unfinished project, that was what I was going to do. Suddenly I started hearing, "What can I do to help?" "Do you want me to do that for you?" etc.... Every little bit of unsolicited help not only lightened my load, but also made my guys feel needed. I tried very hard to bite my tongue when things weren't done exactly to my liking - I sure wanted them to offer again in the future! And my very relieved "thank you's" made all the difference in the world to them. What can I say? They just really like being my "heroes." LOL!
I know it's a lot for you, believe me, I do. And I know what works for me might not work for you. But I hope something I've said will help a little. Just remember the Lord is right there with you. He's pulling for you, He sees what you do every day, and He will bless you. The MOST important thing I do every day is talk with Him - just like I would talk with you or anyone else. He always quickens wisdom and His encouragement to my mind, and His love to my heart... I always "hear" His voice... He will do that for you, too. And in the midst of the chaos, HE is our true help! "I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me!"
Big warm hugs, much love, and many prayers and blessings -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
www.papercraftingwithnini.ctmh.com
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on Oct 23 2015 08:31:42 AM |
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MrsHurlbut
True Blue Farmgirl
117 Posts
Nikki
Carthage
MO
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2015 : 08:34:09 AM
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Thank you girls so much for all the encouragement!!
It's honestly nothing we haven't been through before, and nothing that we won't continue to work through in the years ahead. I do not do enough praying, that's for sure. I mean, we pray before meals of course, pray before bed, but honest time with just He and I reading and praying. I put all my other "chores" ahead of Him and I think that's a big reason my marriage is the way it is.
I'm the typical example of a girl who didn't have a daddy growing up, wanted to marry any man that said they loved her, run away and live happily ever after. Then, reality hit and let's just say it didn't exactly happen like that, big shocker! lol!! But it never does, of course.
I am happy with my husband and happy with my family. It's just hard sometimes when my mind gets ahead of me like it has recently. I want to retreat to my bedroom and just cry. My life has really came to this? This is what my life consists of now? While I'm defiantly thankful for my children and my house and my health and my job and all those goodies, I can't help but think of all the things I don't get to experience or do. I'm sure it's normal (I'm only 27), just hard to get over sometimes. I've had to grow up alot in my 27 years, experience things no one should have to, and have dreams that those in the 1800's probably wanted. lol!
Mrs Hurlbut #5131
Wife, Mother, Soldier, Blessed |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2015 : 08:44:04 AM
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Nikki - I talk to Him aaaalllllll day. He's my best friend, and helps me through everything. Try it - you will be amazed!
It is hard to be 27 and going through all of this. But it's only for a time. Before you know it, the years will have flown by, the kids will be grown, and it will be time for you to discover yourself again, and to do all those things you've been missing. Trust me - I'm there now. It's a good place to be. A little unnerving at times, but still, a very good place. Everything has a season. Just hang in there, and know we are praying and here for you - always!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
www.papercraftingwithnini.ctmh.com
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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MrsHurlbut
True Blue Farmgirl
117 Posts
Nikki
Carthage
MO
USA
117 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2015 : 11:14:19 AM
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Thanks for all the prayers girls. Things with the hubby are getting a little better. I'm trying to keep my mouth shut and pick my battles, and trying to get him to open a little here and a little there.
He is a federal technician for the MO National Guard (which means he works full time for the military, but gets paid like a federal employee instead of a soldier). He is a soldier, but it's just how it's coded. Well, we get to be part of the government shut down that's due to take place starting Dec 11. The estimated time is 60 days. This is going to hurt us so bad. After all bills are paid I get about $200 to use for gas, groceries and any other misc things that come up until the next pay day. I should be thankful for that, I know, it's just really rough here lately. It's so hard to stay positive when it seems like one thing after another.
I'm trying to make some crafts on the side. Crochet tea towels, ear warmers, paracord bracelets, things like that. But they are difficult to sell around here. Just trying to take it one day at a time.
Mrs Hurlbut #5131
Wife, Mother, Soldier, Blessed |
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Hideaway Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1553 Posts
Jo
Virginia
USA
1553 Posts |
Posted - Dec 24 2015 : 3:35:44 PM
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Hello ladies,
Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, as we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
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Noreen
True Blue Farmgirl
110 Posts
Noreen
Essex Junction
Vermont
USA
110 Posts |
Posted - Dec 25 2015 : 05:07:45 AM
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Have a wonderful Christmas Day!
May God bless us this Christmas and in the New Year!
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Psalm 23:1 |
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Bonnie Ellis
True Blue Farmgirl
2474 Posts
Bonnie
Minneapolis
Minnesota
USA
2474 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2015 : 02:04:23 AM
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God's promises are new every morning. Enjoy God's blessings today and every day.
grandmother and orphan farmgirl |
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SunnyJam
True Blue Farmgirl
129 Posts
Jamie
Seattle
WA
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2016 : 4:58:57 PM
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Hi there sisters! Have any of you heard of the IF: Gathering? It's an event for Christian women coming up this weekend that I just randomly heard of. It sounds intriguing to me, but there were also a couple of red flags, so I thought I'd see if anyone in this smart an enlightened group knew anything about it.
https://ifgathering.com/
Farmgirl Sister #2504 |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13664 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13664 Posts |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13664 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13664 Posts |
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Old Spirit
True Blue Farmgirl
1498 Posts
Rae
MN
1498 Posts |
Posted - May 12 2016 : 8:06:57 PM
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Wow been quite a while since anyone has been here. How is everyone doing?
...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles:...
Isaiah 40:31
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7714 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7714 Posts |
Posted - May 13 2016 : 10:39:35 AM
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Hi Rae,
How are you doing? I think alot of the people go to Hogs and Quiches for prayer alot.
I hope everyone is having a God filled day today and that the weather is good to them this weekend.
Take care.
Blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
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antoinette
True Blue Farmgirl
826 Posts
Toni
East Freedom
PA
USA
826 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2016 : 5:56:14 PM
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| Hi Rae, How have you been? How is retirement? How is the farm? I use to be one of your penpals, maybe I should write?? |
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Old Spirit
True Blue Farmgirl
1498 Posts
Rae
MN
1498 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2016 : 6:25:56 PM
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Oh Toni please do write!! The farm is growing, retirement good but scary, the no income thing.
...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles:...
Isaiah 40:31
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9436 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9436 Posts |
Posted - May 17 2016 : 08:30:25 AM
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Glad someone thought to pick up this thread again. It has been awhile since I have been here. Life...
Hope that is the thing with everyone else, just busy.
I know some have a lot on their plates and I pray for their yoke to be light.
God bless!
~Denise~
Farmgirl Sister #43
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
http://www.torisgram.etsy.com |
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HealingTouch
True Blue Farmgirl
3448 Posts
Darlene
Kunkletown
Pa
USA
3448 Posts |
Posted - May 26 2016 : 8:29:51 PM
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Toni,
How are you? I have thought of you and your sister often. Did you ever quilt all the blocks we made from the swaps? Glad to know you are ok.
Be Blessed and Be a Blessing,
Darlene
Sister 1922
God first, everything else after!
When Satan's knocking at your door, just say "Jesus will you get that for me?"
When it gets to hard to stand, Kneel!
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Farmgirlquilting
True Blue Farmgirl
79 Posts
Angie
Ft Meade
FL
79 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2016 : 05:38:59 AM
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GM So excited to have found this thread. Love communicating with other christian women that have similar interests.
Angie Gordon
#6966 FGOTM June 2016
farmgirlquilting@gmail.com
http://farmgirlquilting.blogspot.com |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2016 : 7:10:24 PM
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Welcome, Angie! WELCOME! So glad you've found us!
How are you all doing, girls? How is the Lord directing you today? What is He showing and teaching you?
Question: If you had to choose, what spiritual gift would you request? I would love to have the gift of healing. Can you imagine how exciting and wonderful to just touch a person and pray and have God completely heal them?!
Have a blessed week, everyone!
Hugs and love -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Old Spirit
True Blue Farmgirl
1498 Posts
Rae
MN
1498 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2016 : 03:35:09 AM
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Nini healing would be awesome! Then the gift of ministry, I really want to share my faith but to have God putting the right words in my mouth.
He is leading me to a simpler life which is much more peaceful as I move that direction, getting rid of debt and unnecessary things. Knowing true needs from frivolous wants. Learning to trust which is hard since I quit work. I prayed about it and God had told me the previous year I would not go back but paying bills some days is very stressful, yet, yes He has supplied. In prayer He is leading me to do things out of my comfort zone which I am still verifying that He really wants me to do 
...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles:...
Isaiah 40:31
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Edited by - Old Spirit on Jul 11 2016 03:37:18 AM |
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YellowRose
True Blue Farmgirl
7109 Posts
Sara
Paris
TX
USA
7109 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2016 : 05:30:59 AM
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Rae, I know what you mean about being led by the Lord and leaning on him. When life becomes simpler and quieter the easier it is to hear from God. The more I seek peace, the more I have to lean on God to achieve it.
You talked about having a ministry. Years ago the Lord put it in my heart to minister to women. To seek out opportunities to reach out and encourage women. In the last couple of years he has enlarged that ministry to include youth that are in need of a kind or encouraging word.
Ministry doesn't have to be a large undertaking. It can be as simple as offering a bottle of cold water to someone walking by your house on a hot day.
Sara~~~ FarmGirl Sister #6034 8/25/14
FarmGirl of the Month Sept 2015.
Lord put your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2016 : 12:51:33 PM
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I have to agree with Sara, Rae... Ministry comes in all shapes and sizes! And remember what the Bible promises in Luke 12:11-12... Jesus teaches: "11 When you are brought before the synagogues, rulers, and authorities, do not worry about how to defend yourselves or what to say. 12 For at that time the Holy Spirit will teach you what you should say." You have nothing to worry about. He WILL give you the words, no matter to whom you are speaking! You will be amazed! Many times when I find myself in a situation where I have the opportunity to witness, my palms start to get sweaty and my stomach starts to feel butterflies. I just silently pray to God, asking Him to fill my mouth with His words and help me to say whatever it is that God wants me to share with the person. He always comes through. One thing that really helps is just opening up your Bible and reading it daily. Doesn't matter where you begin - God will always reveal Himself and His Will and Wisdom to you. You'll be so surprised how quickly He quickens Scripture to your mind when you are faced with an opportunity to witness! Also, there are Scripture Memory Songs that are extremely helpful. And, of course your own personal witness and testimony of how God has worked in your own life always has a profound effect. I bet you are more ready for ministry than you already realize! Don't be hesitant - be bold! Go forth and bloom in whatever the Lord is leading you! SO exciting!!!
I've been paring down a lot lately, too. And now that my husband is ill and our life plans have drastically changed, we're more mindful of needs vs. wants than we ever have been. The Lord has always met my needs in the past, so although the future is uncertain, I really do trust Him for whatever we - or I alone - may face. I truly believe He has been preparing us for what is happening now for the past few years. I know how hard it can be at times working toward becoming debt free, Rae, but believe me, when you finally make it, you are going to feel like the weight of the world has been lifted. And then if, Heaven forbid, a crisis comes your way, you will be prepared to deal with it - not just because you don't have debts, but also because you have learned daily of the faithfulness of the Lord to meeting your needs. I love that you are growing closer to Him in this way! I just wish I could help you end the stress and struggle! I will pray for you, I promise! You can do this! I know you can! We can do ALL things through Christ Who strengthens us! :)
Have a blessed day!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Edited by - Ninibini on Jul 16 2016 6:09:59 PM |
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brianna.e
True Blue Farmgirl
54 Posts
Brianna
Gladstone
Michigan
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2016 : 06:33:00 AM
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I just wanted to sneak in here and say hello!
I am a Pastor's daughter, a Missionary kid, and at 27 - a brand new Christian. I know, it is kind of weird to spend your whole life in the church or on the mission field and not be a Christian but sometimes we just have to figure it all out for ourselves...and some of us take longer than others. I am actually thinking about blogging about it all...if I ever get around to blogging (SO bad at it!)
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Edited by - brianna.e on Aug 04 2016 07:04:00 AM |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2016 : 06:43:49 AM
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Hi Brianna! WELCOME!!! I don't think it's that odd that you came to Christ at this time in your life. Let's face it, most of us were brought up in Church. Most of us believe. Then life comes and we're thrust into the world and the questions come and sometimes we get caught flailing around in the storm before finally focusing on Him and standing on firm ground! And I don't know that any of us ever really figure it all out. It's a process, don't you think? The great thing is that you were "trained up in the way you should go," and now that you're older, you are "not departing" from it! AWESOME! God's promises in action, sister! God bless you!
I would love to read your blog! The Lord will move your heart when the time is right! Just keep us posted! :)
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Gathered Up: Christian farmgirls? |
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Christian farmgirls?
