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Across the Fence:  Moving  |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
 Posted - May 23 2006 : 08:16:02 AM
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Hi, I was wondering if any of you had ever just picked up and moved. Left family behind, a good job..........you name it, leave it behind? My sweetie and I are considering doing this. We live in northern new york...........and are considering either northeastern Washington, or northern part of Idaho or maybe even northwestern Montana...............
What do you all think? (I'm 51 and he's 65!!) Should we??????
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 09:37:20 AM
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Georgette -- if you can financially swing it I say got for it!! Life is sure nice out here. I live in Western WA (where we can lots of rain) but the areas that you are thinking of are wonderful too. Northern Idaho is fabulous! I would do lots of research on job, home prices, etc before making the final jump.
My hubby and I are still discussing moving to IL (where I was raised) because we have family there and the housing prices are so much cheaper. We talked this weekend of taking the next year to prepare and save money. I'm 54 and he's 53 so we're thinking of having a home that we can get paid off by retirement.
Keep us posted on your plans!
Visit my online shop at http://therusticcottage.etsy.com
http://www.homesteadblogger.com/therusticcottage/
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Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9092 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9092 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 10:05:47 AM
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GEORGETTE
WOW, that would be a hugh decision!. How about you think about going to one of your places of choice and stay say a month, check out the area, see how you feel being away from home and family. What are you looking for that is different from what you have now? Is your family driving you crazy, do you hate the neighbors. HA. What about jobs, do either of you plan on retirement soon? I don't think I could leave my family and friends etc, not unless it was a matter of job change, and that would have been when I was much younger and the kids would have gone with us. Now I think if I felt restless, needing a change, I would try something short tern, or say a winter or summer home, away from home. Let us know what you end up deciding.
NANCY JO |
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blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 10:09:08 AM
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Georgette,
I agree with the others. This is a great place to live IF it's what you really want. We did this for family reasons about 7 years ago, but now the reasons are no longer here and we are missing the folks back home. Just really do your research - especially about jobs and pay! Not so good in N Idaho unless you are in certain occupations. You may find that this area (Pacific NW or Inland NW) is just what you're looking for.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
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Destiny~
True Blue Farmgirl
195 Posts
Dar
west
TX
USA
195 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 10:58:20 AM
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Georgette, we did in 1991, went to Texas for a vacation and moved down one month later, from upstate NY.
It was the best thing we could have done and it was the worst thing we could have done.
The upside, the financial situation in NY is horrible-both of my siblings left there also, and we've been able to have a lifestyle here in Tx that we never would have had in NY. We rarely fight and one of the reasons is because we don't have the money issues that we would have had had we stayed in NY.
The downside, my family-except for my siblings-are still in NY. I've had to realize that I'll never go back to what I grew up with. For me, that's really hard but it also means that my relationship with my husband is that much stronger.
Be aware of cultural differences and climate differences depending on where your considering. I miss the grass, trees, water etc. I'm also Irish in a land of Tex-Mex. Its just different.
I'm not trying to influence your decision-that's only up to you to decide but I would like to give you some things to look at that we don't always think of at the time of a change like this.
Good luck in whatever you chose.
"Let us, together, sow seeds for a better harvest-a harvest for hope."
Jane Goodall, Harvest for Hope |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 11:35:57 AM
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Boy, Dar, you got that right!! The pay in northern new york is HORRIBLE!! Friends.......I really don't have any, some acquantences but no good friends, so that is not a problem. Family, I really would only be leaving my three kids.......aand yes, I am taking that into consideration. Retirement? I don't think I can every retire, but my mate has been retired for a long time, so that is not a consideration for him at least. He has children in the western part of Washington..........And we are going out to visit his kids the last part of July, beginning of August. So we plan on looking around then. We will be there three weeks. Thanks for all your advice............keep it coming!!
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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ThymeForEweFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
705 Posts
Robin
An organic farm in the forest in
Maine
USA
705 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 12:25:30 PM
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We packed up 15 years ago. We moved only two hours away though. I left a job in county government with excellent retirement, paid vacation, sick leave, excellent wage but some not-nice people who made going to work miserable. My husband left a job he enjoyed and made good money from for the job he still has today. Our lifestyle then is completely different from what it is now. I love it out here.
Our oldest daughter is 21. We live in Maine and she lived in Minnesota for two years. She drove or flew here once a year and we drove or flew out there. We got an unlimited calling plan through our phone company and we chatted online. Staying in touch was easy. It wasn't the same as knowing that I can hit the road and see her in two hours like it is now, but it wasn't terrible either.
Robin
www.thymeforewe.com
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 12:46:55 PM
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Wow, you know what I am going through here at work. It makes me sick to my stomach. some days aren't so bad, but for the most part.....they treat me like I am invisible, they whisper around me like they are afraid I'll overhear something......just bad. Secretary for a teachers union that has lots of money, started working here in 1998 and now my salary has much more than doubled........plus, like you said, excellent benefits, paid vacation, sick leave....etc.... That is one determining factor in my wanting to move. Another is I want to have an adventure before I die..........and I now have a partner who is the best thing that has ever happened to me!! Now I know I could survive with him by my side.
Thanks for your input!!!
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 1:18:03 PM
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I'm also in upstate New York, and I've considered moving because, as so many of you have mentioned, the economy sucks. I don't know how long I can live with the knowledge that I will never rise above a subsistence lifestyle. Family needs are keeping me here for the time being, but I'm not sure what will happen when that is over.
The power of place is greater than you might realize. My husband and I moved out of state for four years, and we simply weren't able to acclimate in the new location. The weather, the architecture/urban planning, the local government...I don't know what it was. Whenever I think of moving away again, I can't help but remember how alienating it was to not be in the place I had my roots. The people all seemed hostile and foreign, even the ones we liked. We were lost without our natural landmarks: the lake to the north, river on the east, hills to the south. Even our bodies were overwhelmed by the change...my husband had terrible allergic reactions to the new pollens (he'd never had pollen allergies before) and I had to cut off my hair because the water did strange things to it.
On the other hand, this move was certainly an "adventure" that changed our lives and I'm not sorry I did it, even though it was a disaster in some important respects. I just wish I'd moved to a place I could stay in and learn to love!
I would never move again without spending at least several weeks in the potential location. Preferably, at different times of the year. If I were in your shoes, Georgette, I would start by taking some long vacations in the area you're looking at. And do think hard about your connection to the natural environment and social culture where you are. |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 1:31:39 PM
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I do believe your advice on taking long vacation to the area where we are considering is valid advice, unfortunately, I feel that the clock is ticking and long vacations aren't always possible when I work...........is for my mate as he is retired. But not me. And if we did that, it would sure use up some of the extra funds for purchasing and moving..........But please everyone keep the advice and ideas coming. I am valuing everything you all are saying.
Georgette
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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Destiny~
True Blue Farmgirl
195 Posts
Dar
west
TX
USA
195 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 1:48:56 PM
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Amie, I can relate to the difference in the natural landmarks...the stars look 'wrong' here. Does that make sense?
And yes, I still feel like a foreigner, I'm even considered a minority here, but not in NY, so I feel out of place. My one consolation is that I'm attempting to get into gardening and organics etc and hope that by doing so I will meet other people here who have the same interest and then maybe I won't feel like a fish out of water.
Georgette, as for work issues, I work in a company that makes me crazy and yes I do make pretty good money but as soon as I can get my house ready to sell and buy someplace with property-I'm leaving here. The money is not worth whatever time I have left on this planet. I don't mean to be maudlin but I just put my dog to sleep yesterday after having her for 5 short years and it's making me take stock of the passage of time.
"Let us, together, sow seeds for a better harvest-a harvest for hope."
Jane Goodall, Harvest for Hope |
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JudyBlueEyes
True Blue Farmgirl
657 Posts
Judith
Spokane
Washington
USA
657 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 2:37:45 PM
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Hi, Georgette,
Well, I have picked up and moved myself, just in October of 2004, I moved from San Diego to Spokane. San Diego is beautiful, and I had been there 27 years, 3 of my 4 siblings live there, and I had great friends, but it was just too expensive. I do secretarial work, and I made a _good_ salary, but you need at least TWO good salaries in California any more to make it.
I am lucky, because I have been moving since I was born! My father was in the Navy and we moved 7 times before he retired when I was 12 and we ended up in San Diego. Then I moved when I was 19 to the Boston area, then to Maryland and Cincinnati and back to San Diego. So I have been picking up and leaving for the first half of my life.
For this move, when I figured out I would never be able to buy a home in California (I am divorced, and we never were able to buy in the 7 years we were married), and I really couldn¡¦t even afford to pay $1,000/month rent, I looked at several places around the country. I looked at sizeable cities (with hospitals/colleges/companies where I could get a job) where I had friends or family that I would like to be around, and all of the other places (Virginia, Ohio, St. Louis, Buffalo, Atlanta) had humidity and/or harder winters than Spokane does ¡V and since I¡¦ve paid my dues with living in humid places as an adult, I chose Spokane ¡V not terrible winters and dry summers, with a good growing season. I came up to visit my friends here in the dead of winter, with a foot of snow on the ground, and more fell while I was here. We went out to open houses on Sunday and I saw lots of places under $100,000 that I would buy, so I knew I had to move here.
I started out working a couple of temp jobs while I applied for likely positions and I got a job making a bit more than my ¡§minimum acceptable wage¡¨ and so that was nice. Then just about 6 weeks after I started work, I drove past an open house and even though I wasn¡¦t quite ready (in my plan) to look at houses, I liked the look of it and decided to stop in. Also it was for sale by owner, so I knew I wouldn¡¦t get hassled by a realtor. Well, I fell in love with the house and was able to buy it, with God¡¦s grace (God¡¦s plan is often different that my plan. Go figure!). One of the best features of my house is there is a working wood cookstove in the basement! So here I am. At Mary Jane¡¦s Farm ƒº.
The last thing I would like now is a network of friends, and I believe I have found some down here at the Farm, and I have met some people through church and community activities, so I¡¦m getting there. It is just hard after being in a community for 27 years and all the people who are part of your life, and then to have two friends who are wrapped up in their lives. And I¡¦m not complaining. I know I would be annoyed if someone expected me to drop my life for them. I am grateful for the time we do spend together. I will say that one of the women in my online book club did tell me that it would take about two years to really fit into the new community. This happened when she and her family moved, and she is a very outgoing person (I am too). So that gives me comfort. And in the meantime, I keep plugging along.
So, I am here to tell you that it _can_ be done. I am blessed to have friends who allowed me and my 3 dogs to move in with them and their 5 dogs (he is a total dog person, could you tell?) and they were very tolerant of me and my foibles. So I didn¡¦t have to try to get a temporary apartment with the dogs while I was getting established. Everyone¡¦s advice is great ¡V and your plan to visit your friend¡¦s kids in Western Washington is good. I would, however, note that Eastern Washington is a whole different kettle of fish than Western. Spokane is about 200,000 people, and very small town/rural atmosphere, although the arts are alive and well ¡V museums, symphony, theatre, art galleries ¡V but it¡¦s a very western town. So a Farm Girl would feel at home. Then there are the smaller towns in Northern Idaho which are LOVELY and close enough to commute to Spokane if you got a job here. Okay, well enough of me and my story. Good luck, and I know you¡¦ll keep us posted! Hugs, Judy
P.S. I just went back and reread your third message ¡V if you have a good salary and benefits at this time, I would say that is a huge consideration. Especially if you look at your retirement package ¡V at 51 you won¡¦t be able to duplicate what you would get by sticking out another 10 or so years with a company that you are already vested in. And Then I noticed that you said you really want to have an adventure before you die ¡V ummm, my advice then, might be to have an adventure ¡V plan on taking a month off work and go traveling somewhere you have always wanted to go. If you plan it right, you can do it without killing your budget. Maybe drive through all 48 contiguous states, visit all the state capitals, take the Trans-Canada train, I don¡¦t know what appeals to you, but then at least you have the security of your job and benefits to go back to. Or find some other kind of adventurous outlet ¡V but leaving a good job and moving across country might be a bit much, if you are really looking for an adventure. I don¡¦t know. Take care!
The Rooster crows, but the Hen lays the egg. ~ Texas Proverb |
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lvg4him
Farmgirl in Training
34 Posts
Colorado
USA
34 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2006 : 4:58:54 PM
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| While the financial side is important and definately worth considering, do consider family too. I know that my mom had the most terrible time trying to get plane tickets to get by her father's side before he passed away. It was emotional enough for her that they were going to lose him, but the trouble the airlines gave her over trying to get a ticket was awful. Thankfully, my sister who lives right next door was there and able to take over and get the flight taken care of for her. But I was so torn by not being able to be there and to help out. And when my father-in-law got cancer, and 6 years later had his heart attack, it was so nerve racking driving two days to get to his side (as we we not sure if he would live or not). My dad's health is failing and he is going blind. He would never move here and allow us to care for him. My father's mother has Alzimhers (sp?) and he lives too far away to help or to visit her. She refused to go into a nursing home, and then was refused by all the ones that they applied to (I am not sure why she didn't qualify). Anyways, all this to say, please do consider your family when deciding where to move. You don't want to move far away from family and then realize that you wished you were closer. Just my 2cents. |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2006 : 03:35:37 AM
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Thank you all so much. Keep 'em coming. I read them all!!!
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2006 : 06:34:56 AM
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okay, been thinking of all you all have told me. Has given me lots to think about. Just this morning I thought ........hmmm, I wonder if I could take a year's unpaid leave of absence from my job. That would be something to consider. My new housemate said, "Let's pay off the mortgage on this place." (I had bought it and lived there about 6 months when I met him, and I've now lived there a year and 7 motnhs....he moved in in February. He sold his house in Vermont. My children are 27, 25, and 23 (in November, the youngest will be 23) so the kids are "grown" .... sort of. My 25 year old still lives with me. And I could imagine him moving with us.......if we moved. My daughter is living with her fiance and while there is trouble there (mostly his sisters giving her grief) I think they really are a good match. I also could picture them visiting if we moved..........My youngest is a marine and will be getting out in September and living with me until he can find a job and an apartment. Jobs are pretty scarce up here in the boonies of Northern New York. So I don't know how that would go......but that's about it. I do have a full sister (not close at all to her) and an older half brother, which I absolutely adore, who is 75...........but with email we would keep in touch. My other older half sister lives in Florida.......and we email. So except for my children, I could leave here in a heartbeat. No ties really. My best friend and best support system would be going with me. Money, salary, now that's another story.
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2006 : 06:36:37 AM
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My full sister and my older half brother both live in the area where I now am......forgot to say that.
Georgette
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2006 : 07:02:04 AM
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Hi Georgette, my husband & I are both 54 y/old. He can retire in 8 yrs. To me right now that seems like a LIFETIME because I so desperetly want my little farm. We will be picking up and leaving also. We live in N.J. and unless a miracle ( I do believe in them) happens we could never afford a small farm here. We thought of going to Maryland & looked around but our hearts (especially mine) are in new england. I have been going to Vermont & Mass. all my life & Vermont has always been where my heart is. It is not very far from N.J. so visiting isn't a problem BUT we wont be next door either. My feeling is this; if it is right for both of you and you find that place you feel connected to (for me its Vermont) then it's right & everything will fall into place BUT not without alot of work. But the work to me is worth it if it's the right place. Every single time I just enter Vermont something inside me changes, I can't explain it but its different. It is the place on this earth that I KNOW I'm supposed to be at. Why I havent moved there already, I don't know, timing wasnt right, who knows but there is not one ounce of doubt in my mind at all. You will KNOW IT when it's right. Go w/ your other half and check it out. It is your life also & you have a right to be happy. I am not a selfish person at all & I dont want to sound that way but I have spent my life doing what other people wanted and that WAS ok but now it's time I got ready for something that I want. it will take time but it's ok, working towards it is also a great journey. Good luck!
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2006 : 07:35:04 AM
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Hey Michele.........thank you so much. you put into words exactly what I was feeling. I also have spent my life doing for other people and trying to make everyone else happy. NOW is my time, and I finally found a guy that ............gosh.......he is just so terrific!! Words escape me!! (Ever think of moving to northern New York......I have 5.8 acres with a barn......!! Sell it to you!!) :o))) Georgette
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2006 : 7:51:25 PM
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yes as a matter of fact. We had 10 acres in Malone, by the Canadian border. Almost bought a 25 acre farm but timing was all wrong. We lost our 10 acres during a custody battle over my two step-daughters,took every cent we had but children come first and I'll never regret it. Just wasn't our time then. Where in N.Y.State are you??
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2006 : 02:59:50 AM
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Oh, my God!!! I am now 25 miles from Malone!! I sold my house in Malone in February!! Where abouts in Malone was your 10 acres? WOW!! small world.
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2006 : 06:17:43 AM
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Georgette, that is so funny. Country Reality was the name of the realtor, he had gotten sick & I dont know if hes still around or not, it was an office & his wife sold country things out of the same place. Also my brother in laws sister is married to an undertaker up there, their names are Mike & Penny Leonard, they had a house built in Constable, N.Y. but I think his office is still in Malone. The property was out about 20 minutes from town, out in the middle of nowwhere, I couldn't tell you where, it was a long time ago & we had it a short while but it was tracks of land 10 acres each and NOTHING was around but one or two farms. n fact Mikes parents had one of them. Small world!
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2006 : 07:47:25 AM
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| If you can take a year's leave of absence and count on your job being held for you, I would definitely do it. It's the perfect situation: you get your adventure, you get to stay in the new place long enough to know whether it "works" and you still have the old life waiting for you as back up if it all goes horribly wrong. If it's at all financially possible, just go! |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2006 : 11:18:29 AM
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Hey Michele, I know (well, I know of him) Mike Leondard. Where I am now is about 30 minutes from Malone, in a real rinky-dink town, but it is small and peaceful. I have really nice neighbors to. Sheriff on one side of me and a retired teacher couple across the road from me.
Amie. I looked in my contract and I CAN'T take a year's leave of absence from my job unless someone in my family or myself requires care such as an illness.......so that option is out.
I just had root canal done so am taking a pain killer and laying down for a while.....
Georgette
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2006 : 12:38:26 PM
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OOOOohhhhhh. I've had a couple of root canals in my day, Georgette. Take it easy, and I hope you're feeling much better tomorrow .
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
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dargaonfly1054
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Georgette
Nicholville
NY
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - May 25 2006 : 3:29:21 PM
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Hi Libbie, I actually don't feel to bad. Chewing is another matter. I never really realized that I chew on the right side of my mouth (I'm right handed) but it is a struggle to remember to chew on the left side!! It is definitely sore, but at least it isn't aching. Thanks for the good wishes, Georgette
"We need the tonic of wildness, to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk..." Thoreau |
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Across the Fence: Moving |
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Moving
