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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Cosleeping and Family Beds  |
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 24 2010 : 11:10:39 AM
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| Am I the only one that does? DD has always slept with us. She is now 2 1/2 and everybody keeps telling me she needs to start sleeping in her "big girl bed". I just don't feel ready yet. |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Jul 24 2010 : 12:02:31 PM
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I did with my first two and my youngest is still nursing once or twice a night, so he comes in the bed in the middle of the night, but he hates sleeping with us. Once he's gotten what he wants he wants to be in his crib right away. It might be because when he was a newborn I kept him next to my bed in a baby hammock that I made rather than in the bed. I guess he got used to being by himself and doesn't like anyone in his space with him LOL! The oldest was in our bed until about 18 months when we kicked him out into a toddler bed with rails because his brother was coming in a couple of months and the bed would be too crowded with two kiddos in it. Then, the second one left our bed when he was about 1 because he liked sleeping in a crib. His older brother would scream bloody murder all night if we ever put him in a crib and that's why he just stayed in our bed as an infant. He was much more attached to us. We never minded having any of them in our bed, but we didn't force them either way. Well, except for the first one. He had to go. But, he didn't hate it by the time he was 18 months. It made him sad, but he adjusted really quickly.
All that is to say, you should do what's best for your daughter. Just remember, even though you are not ready, that doesn't mean that she's not ready. It wouldn't hurt to give her the option to have her own big girl bed. It's something that feels very "grown up" for them. But then again, she might not be ready now. Just make sure the option is available for her and she will transition when she's ready.
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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Lessie Louise
True Blue Farmgirl
1406 Posts
Carol
PECULIAR
MO
USA
1406 Posts |
Posted - Jul 24 2010 : 2:11:33 PM
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When the time is right you will know. Our kids slept with us for quite a while, and even sneaked into our bed until they were 5 or 6. It it my humble opinion that we push our kids away to soon. Our babies feel our heartbeat, breathing and warmth for nine months and what is the first thing we allow to happen? Right after they are born they are wisked away, wrapped in blankets and kept in a plastic crib. I think, while they are babies, they thrive while being close. Keep it to yourself, do what is comfortable for your family, Carol
Forget buns of steel, I'd rather have buns of cinnamon!
Don't out smart your common sense!!
Farmgirl #680! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
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gypsy goat
True Blue Farmgirl
673 Posts
mary jo
michigan
673 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2010 : 06:07:34 AM
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yup they both slept with us-they turned out ok too!
farmgirl#1362 whatever you are be a good one-abe lincoln |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2010 : 06:16:39 AM
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Our little one is 16 months old and she's never slept in our bed--we thought of co-sleeping, but our little cottage only has 6 rooms, and the nursery, by design, is right next to our bedroom, so it wasn't but a skip and a jump to get to her to nurse when she was newborn. Additionally, she is and has always been an independent baby, with a mind of her own. I had these glorious visions of rocking her to sleep, holding her and watching her little, heavy eyes close...NOT a chance. She wants to fall asleep by herself--if you're touching her, she gets frustrated and won't sleep. Our second thought about sleeping in our bed was that we are both deep, deep sleepers, and a little wild, too--in a full sized bed. My husband has a tendency to kick and he really didn't want to hurt the little one...I say do what's best for your family.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2010 : 07:59:43 AM
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| I think she has started to want to try, but 10 minutes later she is yelling "Momma!" When she was born I was still in the military and nursed for over a year, so it was easier to have her in bed with us so I could feed her at night. Then my husband was deployed, and we both needed each other at night. Now that we are all living together again, I think she may be ready, but she still gets fearful of where Daddy is. |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2010 : 12:42:19 PM
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I guess I am on the other side of the spectrum. I wish I hadn't done that with my first two children because now that they are 3 & 4, it is frustrating for them to climb into my bed at night. Hubby and I have no peace or alone time. My third, I put in his bassinet right away and he prefers his own space and won't even so much as nap in my bed.
We are struggling now to get the older two children to sleep in their own rooms let alone their own beds.
Just a thought... :)
hugs
Jessie
"Wonder Woman hasn't got a cape, she just turned her apron around"
Farmgirl Sister #235 |
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quiltin mama
True Blue Farmgirl
436 Posts
Heather
Crescent City
CA
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2010 : 1:11:07 PM
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Our kids have slept with us from the hospital to about 7 months. If you feel as though you still want her in your bed though, KEEP HER THERE! She's your child and you need to do what you feel is right! :)
my blog www.mountainhomequilts.blogspot.com
handmade quilts on etsy www.mountainhomequilts.etsy.com |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Jul 29 2010 : 5:11:14 PM
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My oldest slept with me/by me until she was about 14 months. My youngest was about 8 months. I honestly don't like sleeping with them as they got older, because they toss and turn and it drives me bananas. Mommy wasn't getting any sleep and Mommy started getting cross-eyed and CRANKY, so the kids went to their own rooms. Every child is different, but I would only warn you that the older they get, the more difficult it is to keep them in their rooms all night. Anyway, just my 2 cents.
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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4forMe
True Blue Farmgirl
166 Posts
Dawn
Easton
MD
166 Posts |
Posted - Jul 30 2010 : 06:34:56 AM
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All of our children were allowed in our bed as babies and slept with us if that was what they preferred. Out of 5 children, 2 are alone sleepers (meaning after babyhood, they never wanted to sleep with us) and 2 are bed sneakers (meaning they crawled into bed with us, once they thought we were asleep). My 11 year old was a bed sneaker until about age 8 and now she sleeps in the room with her younger brothers. My 6 year old son, still bed sneaks about 5 nights out of 7. The baby sleeps in a bassinet next to my bed, after he nurses I put him back in the bassinet. I sleep better that way. I don't know if he will turn out to be a bed sneaker or alone sleeper.
Do what's best for your family. I allow them to come to us whenever they need to, because I feel that it instills in them that if they need us, we will always be there to comfort them.
My alone sleepers will drag all of their stuff into our room and sleep on the floor if there is a storm, but never get into our beds. Meanwhile the bed sneakers will be curled up on our bed, during a storm. It really is a sight to behold. Some nights DH and I haven't even gone up to bed yet and this is what we find when we enter our room.
Sewing, knitting, gardening mom of 5. |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2010 : 12:03:37 PM
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We attachment parent in our home. Our newborn is in bed with us right now. Generally we took the cue from teh kids when they were ready for their own beds, usually happened just after a year old when they needed more space to wiggle around.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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star-schipp
True Blue Farmgirl
942 Posts
Starletta
Middletown
Indiana
USA
942 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2010 : 05:39:19 AM
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I think the "family bed" turns out very secure children--our youngest two (we have 7) still sometimes go to our bed at ages 11 and 8 but every child will find their own way to their own bed in their own time. You are doing the right thing.
farmgirl sister #1927 |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2010 : 9:43:55 PM
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We live in a one bedroom apartment. My daughter slept with us till a little over 3 years old, we only kicked her out cause I was expecting this new baby. She had a crib though, but she rarely ever slept in it. We only have a queen size bed, so we knew all of us (4) could not fit, we thought about buying a king so she could stay in our bed with us but we couldn't afford a king bed. So I made a huge deal out of buying her a "big girl" bed, and taking her with us to pick it out (it was only 100 dollars at Ikea! lol). It took about a week or two for her to get used to falling asleep on her own in her big girl bed but she does pretty good most the time now, she only sneaks in our bed sometimes, I'm ok with it so it's all good! lol haha I'm glad she's in her bed most the time though cause the queen does start to get a bit small with 4 of us! lol But, once in a while is ok, and if dad is working night shift (rotating work schedule) she is for sure in bed with me still (of her own accord, I don't push it or even mention it, she just sees dad's not there and initiates getting in the bed with me and her little sister! lol). I think what helped her transition is her big girl bed is still in our room she's not off by herself yet! :)
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Mrs.Coyote
Farmgirl at Heart
4 Posts
jessica
Germany
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2010 : 10:15:54 AM
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Hello :) Im new here( <- see only post #2!!! :) ) but i thought i would add my 2 cents :) I have 4 children. And baby number four is the first one we have full time coslept with...i wish i would have done this with ALL of my babes. It makes night feedings soo much easier, i get way more sleep, and there is just nothing like watching your babies sleep ( no matter what their age! )!!
Homeschooling,sling-wearing, breastfeeding, farmdreaming Mommy to 4!! |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2010 : 12:36:44 PM
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Jessica I really don't see any other way of staying sane the first year, with out co-sleeping, I mean, I admire people who can actually wake themselves up enough to walk to another room pick a baby out of a bed feed, and walk back to their own bed and go back to sleep! lol I would be a zombie nightmare if I had to do that! lol hahaha It's the only way to survive in my opinion. lol hahaha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl
2707 Posts
Beverley
atlanta
Michigan
USA
2707 Posts |
Posted - Aug 27 2010 : 11:00:17 PM
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If you look at the animal kingdom we are the only ones that are told to have our young sleep in their own beds. Why? I ask.. Kids are so much more self confident when they sleep with their parents until they choose to sleep in their own bed. Like one other person said you will know when is the right time!!! until then tell anyone that tells you different to buzz off!!! hehehehehe
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett Beverley with an extra E...
http://bevsdoggies.googlepages.com/ |
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Lovely Rita Milk Maid
Farmgirl at Heart
4 Posts
RoseRita
Chicago
IL
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2010 : 5:27:16 PM
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It's not a problem till it's a problem for you.
So many "traditional" families co-sleep and never mention it. You'd be surprised. They just don't use the term "co-sleep", they just say (if they admit anything) "our kid just won't get out of the damn bed!" Meanwhile, their "kid" is like 7 or 14. Lol.
Cowgirls, Gypsys & Wildwomen, Welcome Here. |
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MTNSunshine
True Blue Farmgirl
111 Posts
Sunny
Tollhouse
CA
USA
111 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2010 : 11:12:49 PM
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We have a family bed, our son @ 5 decided on his own to start sleeping in his own bed. Our daughter @ almost 5 is still here and "thinking" about sleeping on her own but not totally ready. I love having them next to me!
Farm Chick #914 |
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2010 : 03:37:38 AM
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I don't see anything wrong with it. Out of my 5, some did and some didn't sleep with husband and I. My son, the youngest, was the hardest to get to sleep in his own bed consistently. He would still sneak into our room up until he was about 6 or 7. For a tired our momma it sure does make a difference to not have to get up in the middle of the night. :)
The only problem I can see is the parents who let their children stay in their bed/bedroom way beyond what is normal. My sister in law does this(I am too embarrassed to even tell you all how old my niece and nephew are.) They do have their own beds in the same room, but from what I am hearing my brother sleeps on the couch in the living room and the 2 kids sleep with their mom in the bedroom. Just too weird if you ask me!
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
"If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down. "~ Mary Pickford
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl
931 Posts
Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2010 : 4:40:10 PM
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We have co-slept with all three babies. I don't see how I could have gotten any sleep otherwise, but co-sleeping makes breastfeeding so easy!
Our two oldest sleep in their own beds in their own room, and have since they were about 2 to 3 years old. Our youngest is 2 1/2 and still sleeping with us. The way we make transition easy is to gradually move them to a toddler bed, in our room right next to our bed. First I wait until they are asleep and put them into the toddler bed. In a month or two I have them lay in their toddler bed and hold my hand while they are falling asleep. and THEN we move their bed to a seperate bedroom. It makes it easy for them. It also helps that the kids sleep in the same bedroom (ages 6 and 5) so they don't feel alone.-Elizabeth |
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Rejena
True Blue Farmgirl
149 Posts
Rejena
WY
USA
149 Posts |
Posted - Oct 10 2010 : 7:52:08 PM
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We had one bedroom when our son was born and he stayed with us (had his own bed in the room, but never chose it)until I was 4 or 5 months pregnant with his sister. Then, I couldn't stand it and Daddy and he worked out bedtime until he was cool with sleeping solo most nights. After little sister arrived the whole thing went south for a bit and Daddy moved out and all the kids were with Mommy. OUCH! But, that only lasted about 2 weeks...then, we got a KING SIZE bed and we never could tell who would be sleeping where. Its been great knowing where everyone is...knowing if someone is sick...okay...not vomit sick...that was NEVER fun!
But, now, we are on the other side of all those cozy nights and no one comes to sleep with us....Its a bit lonely in that big ol' king size now...well, that is until all the mutts find their way to our bed at night...empty bed syndrome made hubby get MORE DOGS! Ahhhhh....
In friendship,
[h4]Rejena[h4]
www.violetacresfarm.com
"Kid Run Boer Goat Farm" |
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buggysmum
True Blue Farmgirl
110 Posts
Shelly
110 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2010 : 4:20:22 PM
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You will know when it is time. Don't let anyone push you before you and your child are ready.
Shelly |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Cosleeping and Family Beds |
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Cosleeping and Family Beds
