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Family Matters:  How soon/long did it take you to get married?  |
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reddhedd
Farmgirl at Heart
6 Posts
Kate
Lawrenceville
Ga
USA
6 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 16 2010 : 5:36:11 PM
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First husband...met and got engaged the same night. I was 15, he was 17. I broke it off when I came to my senses....but married him 10 months later. After 3 months of beatings, I left.
Second husband, years later. First date was July 8th. We moved in together 7 weeks later, and married 14 months after that. We've been married for 20 years, and happiness is a way of life. I'm SOOOO lucky; my husband is amazing, and I still get a little butterfly in my stomach when I see him after an absence.
"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato." --Lewis Grizzard |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2010 : 08:48:33 AM
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I have been married 3 times. My first husband and I were best friends, even had the same birthday. I was too young and immature to handle the reality of marriage, and we had an amicable divorce. Met #2 at a bar (mistake #1), he lived with his parents (mistake #2), and never seemed to have time for his own son (why didn't I run?). Married after about a year, had a baby, and I divorced him less than 2 years later due to many things, but mainly, I couldn't stand the screaming and the fact that he would rather spend time with friends/mommy than with our own family.
I had met #3 several years prior, we began talking and found out we were both totally miserable. We talked for hours and hours every day. We separated from our spouses on the same day (my birthday, totally unplanned), and were both divorced within about 2 months of each other, and began dating. He asked me to marry him about 3 months after my divorce, and I have not regretted it for one second. We are the very best of friends and he treats me like an absolute Queen. We will be married 5 years next month, and it has been a dream.
Of course, you never REALLY know a person until you marry them, but as long as he isn't showing signs of being an abuser (I was in a relationship like that, and I could slap myself for it), and you both share the same 'life vision'...well, I'd go for it! My other suggestion would be to talk talk talk about your goals, his goals, etc. This is how I KNEW that #3 was IT for me...we told each other things that we absolutely would NOT want or deal with. :0)
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl
765 Posts
Merry
Ankeny
Iowa
USA
765 Posts |
Posted - Jul 21 2010 : 10:12:58 AM
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I had known my first husband since I was 12 yrs old, it ended in a painful divorce. My 2nd husband proposed and have me a ring 6 weeks after meeting me, it did take us 2 years to get married, he was a Marine and had orders to another embassy, but we did get married and have been newlyweds for 18 years now.
Be realistic and honest with yourself. No wishful thinking and be willing to face the truth, and all that doesn't have to be bad!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
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Jennifer Q.
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Jennifer
Irmo
SC
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Jul 23 2010 : 8:39:04 PM
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| My husband and I have been together 6 years and got married 1.5 years ago... Before we got married, his parents felt like mine! I lucked out with his parents though! Good luck! |
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phonelady
True Blue Farmgirl
323 Posts
Carla
Loveland
Colorado
323 Posts |
Posted - Jul 25 2010 : 09:21:59 AM
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If you think this might be The One. Talk about things. Marriage Counseling. What are both your views on money? Do they match [many marriages go south over money problems].
What are your views on family [is he massively co-dependent? Are you? Will you to be a team that takes on the world together or will he be putting Mommie first?
What about both of you having plans for the future? Do they match? Or even come close?
Communication and compromise. Do you treat each other with respect [you both have ideas and dreams and they're both valid].
Good luck!
Carla
It's not just life-
It's an adventure!
http://familyhistoryfindings.blogspot.com/ |
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momdrinkstea
True Blue Farmgirl
180 Posts
Elizabeth
Ozark
AL
USA
180 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2010 : 02:27:15 AM
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Met my hubby at summer camp! We were both counselors. Pre-marriage counseling, we were
asked "What do you have in common? What hobbies do you share?", etc. Well, we couldn't
find any! LOL But on how to raise kids, politics, how to spend money, lifestyle we want to live,
how to deal with aging parents, keeping pets, goals, etc. we always agree. If you have the same outlooks, dreams, and desires, it should work!
We'll be married 18 years in August.
Good luck!
6 Khaki Campbell Ducks, 10 Barred Plymouth Rocks, 10 New Hampshire Reds, 8 Mille Fleur Bearded D'Uccles, 3 Aracaunas, 3 Australorps, 1 GIANT mutt Roo, 2 border collies, asst. cats, 1 Great Hubby and 3 cute kids! |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2010 : 4:43:44 PM
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how fun to read all of your stories! boy, i've learned a lot in the short 5 years I've been married... it's hard to kick my "romantic-at-heart" views. But I know I married a man who is a great husband. I don't think we ever had that love at first sight thing going on, sometimes I wonder if we got married too soon or too young, but, all in all, I think luck had a big part to play in me finding him. We were together 2 1/2 years, engaged for 3 months before getting married, a good amount of time, I think, to really feel a person out, see if you know you can make everything work. I'd love to believe in the romantic side of things (and some of you ladies sure do have some romantic stories!), but now I believe marriage is more of a entity that works best when it's maintained... that is, opening up communication, having those important things in common, etc. But, I think in reality, everyone is different... some have made marriages work after only knowing each other for days (how lucky!)... some marriages don't make it work even after being together for years. So, I think follow your heart... counseling and knowing certain things about each other is good advice. But, hey, some people make it work just fine without it, too. Good luck!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
Edited by - prairie_princess on Aug 01 2010 4:44:59 PM |
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sunshine7
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
nikki
Northern
wyoming
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2010 : 12:09:51 PM
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HI !!
I have the FAIRYTALE marriage!!!
I met my husband and in less than two weeks we were eloping at a Bed and Breakfast, snowshoing in the Tetons for our Honeymoon and then we began a great adventure together, our marriage.
It's been a ride, we built our own house, had a baby, medical issues, and with just 5 years under under our belt. As life presents itself you will grow and know him and yourself more.
Is he the man that you want to grow with? Will you accept his annoying qualities as well as his great qualities?!!
I have blossomed more from having my husband in my life than any other adventure I have been through. He is my calm, my teacher and soul man!!!
Listen to your heart and soul, trust yourself, she knows.
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2010 : 2:18:01 PM
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met my hubby in December, married the next September, was a blind date we just clicked, spent all the time together or on the phone, our 25th anniversary is this September and I still would rather be with him than anyone else... love him so much
our greatest glory is not in never falling but in getting up every time we do (confucious) |
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Family Matters: How soon/long did it take you to get married? |
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How soon/long did it take you to get married?
