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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  Can I just get some hugs today?  |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 08:21:51 AM
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Hi girls. I am just having a bad day today. Well, it all started last night, really, when on the way home from a long, hot day at the beach with lots of family (I don't do well for long periods of time around lots of people - Im a true introvert who loves being around friends and family, but needs a time to slip away by myself to "recharge") I got on facebook to check to see if my friend had her baby yet (she was scheduled for a repeat C-section). It was a surprise as they had two boys already (they are the same age as my oldest two boys) and were hoping for a girl. Well, they DID have a girl! I was so excited! But then, something came over me in a matter of minutes and before I knew it, I was a blubbery, teary mess :( It was awful. I thought I'd already dealt with the loss of the dream of having a girl, but all of a sudden the hurt hit me like a ton of bricks. I had just spent a day at the beach watching my husband have a blast with the boys while I sat on the shore enjoying the breeze off the lake. My husband pulled me into the waves once and I cringed the whole time. I grew up with an abusive step father who would drag me out into the ocean in Florida, kicking and screaming in terror. I think he liked torturing me and once I got stung by a jellyfish down my entire leg. Needless to say, I'm not a water person. I just don't enjoy it. And sitting there in the car, crying my eyes out, I came to the realization that I don't ENJOY a lot of boyish things. I try my hardest for my boys. I play with bugs and frogs and sprinklers and stuff, but I don't necessarily enjoy it myself. I enjoy watching them enjoy themselves. So, the emotions are crashing down on me like the waves in the lake that afternoon and I'm miserable realizing that the rest of my child-raising days are going to be spent doing boy stuff ALL THE TIME. All of our family vacations are going to be centered around stuff that my husband and the boys like to do and I'm just going to have to sit back and enjoy watching them have fun and enjoy their boy-ness. I realized that there will never be a vacation where the girls go get manicures while the boys go off fishing. There will never be the chance to go to fun places that only a female could enjoy. There just won't. And that really made me terribly sad last night. Then
Then, I wake up this morning and the previous night's episode all makes sense when I realize that I've gotten a visit from my "favorite" relative, Aunt Flo. :( And now I am just edgy and irritated and the sound of my kids whining, "Mom...Moooooooooom......Moooooooooooooooom" all day is just making me want to shut myself in my room and cry for the rest of the day. Why does it suck so bad to be a girl sometimes? :(
OK...I'll quit complaining. I just need a hug or two....please? Sisters?
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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jill skane
True Blue Farmgirl
853 Posts
jill lillian
stacyville
maine
USA
853 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 08:28:02 AM
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| sending you a big hug..... hope your day goes better for you today, try and think of good thoughts |
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birdie71
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Robin
Glendale
Arizona
USA
254 Posts |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 08:39:40 AM
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I was the only girl in my family I had 3 brothers.(((HUG))) I raised 2 sons on my own. I was glad I never had a girl, Too much drama. You can still cook with your sons, I did.(((HUG))) Plus those boys will get married someday and you may have a granddaughter.(((HUG))) I'm sure you have girlfriends to do girl things with.(((HUG))) I just had my 1st pedicure/manicure at age 58 with my girlfriend who is 48, it was her first one also. Don't be sad, soon your boys will be all growen up. Thank God you were able to have children. (((HUG))). Go tell your boys you need a big group hug from them.(((HUG)))
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 08:55:00 AM
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That's the thing, Diane, I am VERY grateful that I've been able to have children. That's why I'm so frustrated with myself today. I feel very selfish even voicing my feelings, but that doesn't make the feelings go away and I don't think I'm a bad person for having them. I guess I'm just a bit lost and lonely in a way. I tried to explain to my husband last night, but he doesn't understand and he knows he doesn't understand and the only "advice" he had to offer was to tell me that it's like when he gives our boys a plate of food and they say, "but I want candy." and basically he told me that God is wanting me to be satisfied with the food He's given me. And I AM. I'm just longing for something that I had all my life that I now DON'T have anymore. I grew up with one sister and a mother and a couple deadbeat dad's who were never a great male example in my life. I never ever did boy things. I never had brothers. I never had that daddy to learn from (I have a great dad now, that my mom married, but he didn't come into my life until I was 14). And now, my mom is 12 hours away and I really DON'T have any good girlfriends close by that I relate with. My friends here are not of the "farmgirl" breed and a lot of them think I'm kinda strange with my long hair and braids and my desire for all things wholesome and old fashioned.
Anyways, I'm sorry if I came across as selfish and ungrateful, but you have to know that's not my heart and I am totally grateful, just a little sad today. I do love my boys and I will cherish every moment of being their mommy. I'm just feeling like something's missing and that nobody understands. And I will probably be just fine in a couple days when my hormones level out.
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 09:04:47 AM
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Sending hugs, Siobhan...I know that I'm a mom to a beautiful little girl, but my best friend, Julie, has two amazing sons. And when I told her that we were expecting a girl...she cringed. She said, "Oh! I'm happy for you, but gosh, a girl? They're just so hard!!!" She is one of four girls, no brothers, and a very manly daddy who was an excavator--she said he left for weeks at a time to get away from all the estrogen (though I'm pretty sure it was work :))
Anyway, I understand...I only have this little girl and I am certain that we won't have another--but I really did want a boy. Wouldn't trade Violet for anything under the sun, but, since you can't guarantee who the universe gives you in these little warm bundles, I just don't think we'll try again...so, I do feel a bit wistful now and again, getting rid of baby things, thinking, "well, no need to save them"...
I had a wonderful father who made sure that I succeeded in both "girl" things and "boy" things...we went fishing, we rode horses, we gardened together, we grilled together, and we listened to music together--jazz, mainly.
I'm a big believer in letting children be "who" they are...perhaps your boys don't know they like antiquing, because they've never been? I read all the time about appraisers and antique dealers who are men, who got up early in the morning with their moms and headed out to farm auctions and loved the experience--it turned into a lifelong occupation. Might be something to do with them, that you can put your "mark" on them, too...
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - FebruaryViolet on Jul 06 2010 09:08:53 AM |
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staci860
True Blue Farmgirl
838 Posts
Staci
Newville
PA
USA
838 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 09:19:03 AM
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Hugs and prayers are coming your way Siobhan... 
You are a wonderful person, fantastic mom, great wife and beautiful child of God. He is hugging you right now, too and yes, it's perfectly okay to feel the way you do.
Let it out, little sister.
I'm sorry to hear there aren't many FG sisters in your area  - maybe you need to put the call out, there have to be a few.
Dear Heavenly Father, please reach down and comfort Siobhan today, wrap her in your wonderful embrace, let her feel your presence and fill her with your peace. In the name of your son and our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.
Blessings, staci FG# 973
:o )
Joshua 24:15 - ...choose this day whom you will serve,...as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
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Edited by - staci860 on Jul 06 2010 09:21:09 AM |
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TeaPriestess
True Blue Farmgirl
76 Posts
Dionne
Duluth
Georgia
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 09:27:54 AM
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(((HUGS))) Liza Jane and a prayer that you are able to get some girl time soon.
"Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world."- Tien Yiheng
Yay I'm Farmgirl Sister #1690! |
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
1333 Posts
Siobhan
Battle Creek
MI
USA
1333 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 09:43:40 AM
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Thanks for the hugs everyone and Staci, for your beautiful prayer :) I feel a bit better already. Now, if only Aunt Flo would go visit someone else this week....*sighs*
Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09) |
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Ga Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2355 Posts
Karen
Meansville
Ga.
USA
2355 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:34:41 AM
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Big Hugs sent your way! Blessings,Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10
Farmgirl sister #1156
www.KKJD1.etsy.com
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Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl
2701 Posts
Marcy
Tiverton
Rhode Island
USA
2701 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:50:48 AM
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Sending you big (((((hugs)))) Hope you feel better soon. I have two boys myself, so I can relate. I wanted a girl so very bad. Not that I would trade my boys for anything, but everyone always told me that I got gypped. I love to sew, I love to make dolls and doll clothes and do crafts, such as knitting and crocheting and I love to cook and bake and do all kinds of girlie things. My boys are not interested in any of those things at all, not even the cooking or baking! So I know how you feel about being left out. Then again, I have two well behaved, full of engergy, funny, full of good, caring hearts, darling teenage boys, so I suppose I cannot complain too much.
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/ |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:56:21 AM
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My dear farmgirl friend Liza-Jane, I am so sorry you feel this way. I totally understand! I have a son and a daughter. I cherish my son, but my daughter and I have a special bond. I miss her so bad it hurts. She married and moved to SC. You are a wonderful mother, wife and friend. I so wish I lived a little closer to you. I am definately coming to Battle Creek soon. Maybe when my DH is in Alaska in August. (you like how I invite myself?) You need a big hug. I don't think it is selfish to wish you had a daughter, it does not diminish your love for your sons at all. I just understand and Aunt Flo doesn't help matters much. Big farmgirl hugs to you my friend.
Age only matters if you are wine or cheese.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922 |
Edited by - Fiddlehead Farm on Jul 06 2010 10:57:14 AM |
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beekeepersgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1423 Posts
Luanne
Cresco
PA
USA
1423 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 10:59:20 AM
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Hi Siobhan -
I know it wouldn't be the same as having a girl of your own, but have you ever considered the Big Sister program or something similar that is available in your area? You would get to spend a lot of special time with a little girl that could really use a mommy-figure in her life, and it might help fill that void for you too?
Meanwhile, here's a big hug (HUG)!
Luanne
beekeepersgirl
Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 11:01:29 AM
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Million hugs headed your way Siobhan!!!
I wish I had the money to come over there and we could do tons of girlie things.
Anyway, love you lots!
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
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Kerbear
True Blue Farmgirl
261 Posts
Kerry
Middle
Tennessee
USA
261 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 12:31:06 PM
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Ill be praying for you my dear friend.
~~Hugs~~
~Kerry Anne
Farmgirl Sister #975 |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2010 : 4:17:13 PM
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Siobhan, I am sending some big ole hugs yuour way too. I'm so sorry you're feeling down right now. I do hope and pray tomorrow will look much better for you.
Hugs, Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 06:00:23 AM
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I didn't think you were selfish, I am sorry I made you think that way. I just wanted to point out all you do have. I grew up with boys only because my neighborhood had more boys than girls. I know you love your family. I hope you find a way to get what you feel you need. (((BIG-HUG))) to you.
Those foolish hormones girls get stuck with are sometimes tough to get ahold of. (((HUG)))
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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violetrose
True Blue Farmgirl
960 Posts
Ruth
Epworth
GA
USA
960 Posts |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 10:51:26 AM
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Siobhan, Sending you very many hugs - great big hugs too! I wish we lived closer, I'd love to do girl things with you. Praying that you will find girlfriends that are like minded in your area.
You are a wonderful Christian wife and mom, just having a "bump" in the road right now - asking God to give you peace and contentment.
On a brighter note - how is your camper coming?
LOTS of HUGS,
Ruth
Farmgirl Sister # 1738
God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us!
St. Augustine |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 11:25:43 AM
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Hi Siobhan! How are you doing today?!?
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Just a small town country girl trying to live her dreams. :) |
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gypsy goat
True Blue Farmgirl
673 Posts
mary jo
michigan
673 Posts |
Posted - Jul 07 2010 : 1:42:41 PM
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big hug from you fellow mi farmgal-i have 2 boys myself someimes it is a little sad when they go off with dad or their buddies. i don't totally understand where you are coming from though because i never wanted a daughter because of what i experienced with my mother, kinda the opposite of your situation. oh by the way my aunt is on her way to visit me so you are not alone my sister!
farmgirl#1362 whatever you are be a good one-abe lincoln |
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2010 : 07:59:32 AM
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Hey Siobhan - thinking about you!! I always have one day each month where I am overcome with despair (literally, I'm not exaggerating) and then realize it was because the auntie was about to visit. Anyway, that aside, it may be all rocks and bugs now but as your boys grow older there will be other experiences you share with them as they develop their own interests and personalities. My son is 17 now and when he was little I just did not enjoy the blocks and trucks - but now we both love to read and love movies, and have very similar personalities so we get along really well. I read to him every night and that was something we both loved - anyway, you are such a wonderful positive person I know this will pass soon, but know that boys are really rewarding in the long run!!
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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tea_lady_tammy
True Blue Farmgirl
1485 Posts
Tammy
NE
USA
1485 Posts |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2010 : 09:46:03 AM
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Siobhan-
I am reading this a little bit late- since I have had company in form out of town etc all week. Although I am Blessed to have a son and a daughter, I can understand how you are feeling, and my heart goes out to you. I have to tell you- it was humbling to read your post.. when I think of "you" I think of that beautiful picture that you posted with the Queen Bee herself- standing there holding Truman. When I saw that I thought "wow- what a beautiful lady! (and I meant YOU!) It sounds like you are a wonderful mother, and you are most certainly entitled to your feelings and to express them openly too! I hope as you read this you are feeling content with yourself and your feelings. You sound like an amazing person- heck I wish you lived closer, so we could do farmgirl things together! There are not many "farmgirl" types here on Long Island either, except for my dear friend Teresa, whom I can share things with. Please know that you are thought of and prayed for amongst your farmgirl sisters!
Smiles,
Laurie
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2010 : 11:02:11 AM
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I grew up in a great neighborhood. One family (The Carneys) had 5 boys. There relatives (The Fugles) had 5 girls. They oftened joked they would switch the kids at birth if they had another boy/girl. They never did but I bet they had days like you did. I sure hope your feeling better today. Being a women is hard..way to many hormones playing tricks on the body.((((HUG))))
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Jul 10 2010 : 5:46:25 PM
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Siobhan,
A good friend of mine used to "borrow" my daughters occasionally. She raised her husband's son and 5 more boys of her own and just needed a "girlie" fix once in a while. I will tell you that she turned out to be the best mother-in-law ever and 2 of her DIL's took her on a trip to Italy where they had a great "girlie" time.
Do you have a Big Sister program in a near-by town? There are girls out there who could really use a grown up friend to do things with, to talk to, to ask questions. Its a great voluteer program that gives as much to the Big sister as to her little friend. There are girls out there who are being raised by a dad and don't have a mom or big sister.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: Can I just get some hugs today? |
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Can I just get some hugs today?
