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Across the Fence:  Life is a ride!  |
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
 Posted - May 09 2006 : 09:50:00 AM
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I am just overwhelmed by an array of emotions. In 2 days I have seen extreme joy, devastating sadness and pain, anger and frustration, worthlessness, loneliness and solitude, am I a friend?
It started Friday with the birth of a baby. A new life in this world, a first child and grandchild. All healthy and happy.
A late night head on collision that left 4 young people dead. Someone's brother killed, a best friend gone, too much drinking and lives ending too soon. Families devastated and over come by grief.
Saturday at dusk and the new car of 1 week is out of commission. Hit a deer, came out of no where. Didn’t even have time to brake. Just getting ahead of the game and this moves me back 10 steps. Anger, frustration, when does this get easier.
A bonus from work that is given and then taken half back. Not a full time employee even though I work 35 hours a week. Could really have used the extra money. Not appreciated and feeling worthless.
A daughter who prefers time alone than with friends. When do I worry, is she depressed or does she just prefer to be by herself.
A shoppe that I want to start but am finding every single obstacle thrown in my way. Letting down a friend. Trying to keep the faith.
Life is quite a ride! Thanks for listening, just had alot on my shoulders.
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
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blueroses
True Blue Farmgirl
1323 Posts
Debbie
in the Pandhandle of
Idaho
USA
1323 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 10:09:11 AM
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Beth,
Honey that's what we're here for. More than anything else we need to support each other. You have a huge amount of things to deal with... try to be supportive of those that need your kindness. Revel in the joy of the new life. Just keep trying to talk to your daughter and do some mom/daughter things. Maybe she just likes being alone, but keep a watch on her. Do you have comprehensive insurance on the car? I know it's a pain, but if you do it will be covered. The bonus thing is mean. Can't believe they took half back. Just keep on moving towards your dream and the shoppe. You know what you are worth. I'm saying a prayer for you to stay strong.
"You cannot find peace...by avoiding life."
Virginia Woolfe |
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DaisyFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
1646 Posts
Diane
Victoria
BC
Canada
1646 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 10:14:17 AM
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Want to trade hugs Beth?? Your life sounds like mine this past couple weeks.
Gasket goes on vehicle...can't afford to put ANOTHER repair on line of credit.
Horrific accident in front of our house that killed a young driver.
Daughter who thinks I'm a queen B because I ask her to pitch in and help around here while I get the spring seeding and chores caught up (does that ever happen..getting caught up??)
Brother who was building a secondary residence to house my mother...$4,000 into it he decides he doesn't want to do it anymore...I'm out $4,000 which I now have to try and repay...mother isn't speaking to me because I'm angry with my brother's failure to live up to his commitment when I borrowed the $$ to do it and she takes it upon herself to phone him and tell him what I said rather than let it go to just keep the peace...and it's not the first time she's burned me and I'm so done with it all.
They say what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger...I figure this past couple weeks is some kind of test...
Di
http://www.daisyfarm.blogspot.com |
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rabbithorns
True Blue Farmgirl
544 Posts
Allison
Fort Scott
KS
USA
544 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 10:43:30 AM
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| Oh, Beth, you are not alone. All these ups and downs seem so surface and then suddenly they are all very intense, up-close and personal - in our own backyard. Have faith. It's the only good advice I've ever received. Keep your faith and know you are never alone, whether that means friends, God, angels, doesn't matter. Either way, you're never alone. |
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 10:45:18 AM
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Thank you all,Allison, Debbie and Diane. It's been quite the rollercoaster ride I tell you. I have just watched those around me and it has been so full of highs and lows. It's almost as if I see snapshots of life flashing in front of me.
I have gotten over the whole bonus thing. The little I did get I had hoped to buy soap with but ended up buying a radiator, woohoo! But then my daughter took second place in an art show. gorgeous water color!Yipee! Feeling melancholy. I go to many track meets, both my 17 yr old daughter and 15 yr old son run. If you have ever watched one, sometimes in the 100 meter or 200 meter race a runner will false start. They then have to line up again and do a restart. Or if you are on a relay team and you are the anchor runner(last one) and you race and race to win and later find out that one of your teammates has DQ'd (disqualified the team for not passing the baton in the designated area.) That's how my life feels some days.
I know that I can always get a boost here. Thank you. Funny, then something will happen and change it all around and you forget what it was that had you so down.
Keeping the Faith!
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
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Edited by - celebrate2727 on May 09 2006 10:46:08 AM |
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theherblady
True Blue Farmgirl
510 Posts
Jan
Glasford
Illinois
USA
510 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 1:03:48 PM
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Oh Beth...Seems you have had a rough week...Wish I could say something to make you feel better~~Sending hugs your way~~
Jan |
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Utahfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1940 Posts
Portland
Oregon
USA
1940 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 3:45:47 PM
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Girls, it's tough while you're in it, but try to remember that in the long run, everything is as it should be. We rarely get to find out why things happen until later on, when we look back and say, "ah, that makes sense." Everything is as it should be.
Farmgirl hug,
Patricia
Come visit my Etsy store at www.chezPatricia.etsy.com
Farmgirls do it organically! |
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cajungal
True Blue Farmgirl
2349 Posts
Catherine Farmgirl Sister #76
Houston Area
Texas
2349 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 5:30:07 PM
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The track description is a great word picture for life. I picture myself as the one who trips and tumbles with legs sprawled out and skin scrapes and everyone in the stands is laughing!!
Hang in there!! Patricia is right.....it's tough while you're in the middle of it. I'm just coming out of a short season of these types of feelings and various problems....So, now I'm able to pass on the positive attitude....well, I didn't have one a few weeks ago.....but, I've made it!
A pastor once said to me, "It's like being Jonah in the whale. There are two ways to come out of the whale....front end / back end.....it's better to come out the front end"
Blessings
Catherine
One of the best compliments from one of my daughters: "Moma, you smell good...like dirt." |
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hennessy
Farmgirl in Training
19 Posts
Melissa
Minnesota
USA
19 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 5:31:55 PM
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Hi Beth, I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations. Sometimes, though, they are jumping off points for making change. In April I had three weeks of difficulty - the first week my best friend had her third miscarriage, the second week my aunt died, and the third week my beloved dog Zoe died. I was really struggling under the weight of all that death. However, it has led me to reexamine my life and be more proactive - I am actively seeking a roommate, planning for traveling, and looking for options for using my land in partnership with someone. If we don't have troubles, we stop appreciating the good things in life. Remember to take care of yourself through all this - we women get so used to caring for others that we neglect ourselves. And don't give up on your dreams!!
Hugs,
Melissa
If you lived in your heart, you'd be home by now. |
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 6:17:25 PM
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Thank you for all the kind words. Sometimes life seems so mysterious. Never know if the path you are on is the right path. I do know that my path is a good one. I know because I am not trying to create a path, it is being opened up and shown to me. I couldn't stop this from happening if I wanted to. Finding the farm, Maryjane and all of you have helped tremendously. When I stopped teaching, something I thought I was born to do, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Now I have found this farmgirl place that just really seems to fit.
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
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Linda Houston
True Blue Farmgirl
538 Posts
Linda
Lake Charles
Louisiana
USA
538 Posts |
Posted - May 09 2006 : 8:16:06 PM
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Beth,---Thank you for trusting us with everything that has happened this week. I am praying for you and it's gives me the oppurtunity to take risks and share when everything is on a downward spin. You have my support and many others.
Linda H. |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2006 : 06:01:28 AM
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Beth- These are big hugs coming your way and a hope that you will be able to find peace after such a terrible week.
Karin |
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TheSoapMaven
True Blue Farmgirl
691 Posts
Susan
LA
USA
691 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2006 : 06:26:15 AM
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Hugs to you dear friend...so wrapped up in my own stuff...havent been a very good friend - I am sorry for your troubles and believe it will all get better - it HAS to!!! Love ya.
Susan
Proprietress of Dahlem's Soapworks http://www.thesoapmaven.com
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2006 : 08:33:57 AM
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I can not tell you all how much your prayers have meant to me. Farmgirls are a special breed. You are always there no matter what. And do not feel that I am overwhelmed with depression. Just somedays are not so good. I know that I am truley blessed when I look at my beautiful children, wonderful husband and good friends and family. I am not worried if I fall for I have so many great farmgirls to pick me up!
Kay you should have gotten your packet by now, let me know if you don't. Gotta start writing!
Sweet Suzi- Do not worry- you have enough on your plate right now, I think you're a great friend!
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
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celebrate2727
True Blue Farmgirl
989 Posts
Beth
MJF
Farmgirl
989 Posts |
Posted - May 10 2006 : 12:32:25 PM
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An old man walked up a shore littered with thousands of starfish, beached and dying after a storm. A young man was picking them up and flinging them back into the ocean. "Why do you bother?" The old man scoffed. "You're not saving enough to make a difference." The young man picked up another starfish and sent it spinning back into the water. "Made a difference to that one, " he said.
blessings
beth
Dreaming of Friday Night Lights
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ByHzGrace
True Blue Farmgirl
348 Posts
348 Posts |
Posted - May 11 2006 : 5:26:35 PM
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Dear (((Beth)))
I have been so blessed by you.The joys you have brought into my life AND THE LIVES OF A FEW CHILDREN HERE are too numerous to count. When I had doubts you gave me a box of prayers to illuminate my world.
Sweetpea, always be aware you are loved and made my life abundant.
May you find peace!
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Across the Fence: Life is a ride! |
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Life is a ride!
