| Author |
A Farm of My Own:  Lonely on your farm?  |
|
|
LouisvilleMom
True Blue Farmgirl
246 Posts
Kathryn
Louisville
KY
USA
246 Posts |
 Posted - May 22 2010 : 5:57:45 PM
|
I don't know if I will even live out in the country without at least one neighbor within easy walking distance. I am afraid of that much time alone. Also my kids love running to their friends houses and I am worried that they will also feel isolated not being in a neighborhood. Anyone?
SAHM mom to four great boys.
http://ksfarnsworth.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2010 : 7:34:16 PM
|
It is something that you are born into, or you are busy enough to not let it bother you. My kids had no problems, but they were born into it, as I was. My daughter moved to the city several years back, and it took her a couple of years to get used to the noise and crowds, and even now she will come home for peace and quiet. I can not stand being in the city any longer than I have to, and I only go once or twice a year.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
 |
|
|
msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2010 : 7:46:37 PM
|
Kathryn,
Our house is fairly close to our neighbors, but even so, they are just a phone call away. I am lucky to have great neighbors. I know how you feel...you don't want to be isolated, but at the same time, you don't want to be too terribly close to someone else.
We have an English Mastiff and several guns, so I do not feel scared here, lol. Also, we have an electronic gate, which is in sight of my front door, so I can always see who is coming.
My girls LOVE it here. They play outside for HOURS and hours with each other. It has really strengthened their sisterly bond a LOT. The poultry and rabbits we have keep them busy, too. My girls love to dig, run, find worms and bugs, and just make believe. ALL of their friends are just dying to come out here and play. You'll end up being the envy of your son's friends! They won't be totally isolated...they have their family and it really does strengthen that bond.
Hope that helps.
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
|
|
|
LouisvilleMom
True Blue Farmgirl
246 Posts
Kathryn
Louisville
KY
USA
246 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2010 : 9:31:28 PM
|
Amanda the "not be isolated but not too close" is exactly what I have been trying to say. I love when my friends drop in and we have impromptu pot lucks. I don't want that to change but here in the suburbs on this tiny piece of property I feel out of my skin. I don't know the proper isolation to close neighbor ratio I am looking for but living on top of my neighbors is not it.
SAHM mom to four great boys.
http://ksfarnsworth.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
|
jclambert
True Blue Farmgirl
149 Posts
Judy
Stringtown
Oklahoma
USA
149 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2010 : 05:33:17 AM
|
Kathryn,
I live very much in the country and love it. You can't see another house from ours, our nearest neighbor is a mile away. Time alone isn't much of a problem since it seems like there is always someone dropping by to visit, borrow something from our shop, or to eat dinner with us. Then, there is always family that wants to come out and stay so they can fish, hunt, and ride our Kawasaki mule around the place. Most of the time, it seems like there are not enough hours in the day.
I have a friend who actually got divorced because her husband wanted to move to this area and she hated being so far away from town. I think it's what you make it. If you're friendly and welcoming you would probably have more company than you want. LOL.
Judy
"Speak your mind and ride a fast horse" |
|
|
|
Equusfriend
Farmgirl in Training
18 Posts
Deborah
Keystone Heights
FL
18 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2010 : 8:11:36 PM
|
I love to quilt. Have you ever visited a quilt shop? Lots of interesting projects within- besides quilting and the friendliest people! Maybe you'll meet some quilters (lots of them in rural areas) and share with each other in your home or theirs. My grand children are learning to quilt and they are 7,6,21/2. The satisfaction of building something useful creative and beautiful can keep you from feeling lonely. Good luck!
Change your thoughts and change the world! |
|
|
|
msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2010 : 05:54:33 AM
|
Kathryn,
I TOTALLY understand! As a matter of fact, we actually bought the house next to us in town so that we could have more space! How crazy is that?
Naturally, everyone has different comfort zones. And, before you ever buy a home, you really need to know who you're going to be next to! Lol, after all, you don't want to live next door to the fighting cock breeder with 200 roosters, or the dirt tracker that revs his engine 87 times a day. ;0) You have to remember that noise pollution codes may not even exist out here, nor many other codes...so like I say, be very careful about who you choose to live by! I paid close attention to noise levels/visual clues when I came to view the house before we purchased, though we 'sealed the deal' in 3 short days! This was due to the fact that the price for this property wass very good, and a ton of people were frothing at the bit about it.
But, all in all, I wouldn't trade it for the world! My mother lives in town on 4 acres, and I have to say that is probably the minimum space I could handle at this point.
One of the worst things, to me, about being in town was that EVERY, yes, EVERY time I tried to work in my front gardens, neighbors would stop by to talk. Now, mind you, I am an expressed extravert. I love meeting and talking to people, but 'gardening time' is my meditation time and my alone time. I got to the point where I would drag out a worklight after dark and work the 10pm 'shift' in my yard! Lol. Though I consider myself blessed to have great neighbors in town, the closeness was maddening to even this extravert.
:0D
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
|
|
|
Domestichippie
Farmgirl in Training
16 Posts
Erika
Indianapolis
In
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2010 : 07:20:08 AM
|
| I've lived in the city all my life and can' stand it. When we go camping or fishing or just out of town I never want to come back. I used to think I didn't like Indiana...turns out I just don't like Indianapolis. |
|
|
|
amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2010 : 4:53:54 PM
|
I lived in the country as a child.Then as an young adult we lived in a farely good size city. I hated it!I love where we live now. We live 8 tenths of a mile from "town", our town is like four miles long and maybe three blocks wide! We have just under three acres. I would love more land, and I hate being on a mian road, but love how we are close to town and yet in the country. We can have fires, animals and people still drop in! It works for us!
Good luck!
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
|
|
|
Cozynana
True Blue Farmgirl
1123 Posts
Kem
1123 Posts |
Posted - Jun 08 2010 : 05:39:18 AM
|
| We live 10 miles out of town. Everyone works so I am very isolated. I love going out to the clothes line in my nightie. But, I have to say it is lonely sometimes. The remedy is to get in the car and go to town. There is always someone to have coffee with there. 10 miles seems to be too far out for anyone but family to drop by. I do have BBQs in the summer just so my friends will come see me. We always have a good time. |
|
|
|
chickenwrangler
Farmgirl in Training
10 Posts
Julie
Eastanollee
Ga
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2010 : 08:40:05 AM
|
I think it's a trade off. My kids can't walk to their friend's house but they can walk out to the barn and saddle up their horses anytime they feel like it. We also do a lot of things together as a family (taking care of the animals, picking wild blackberries, etc). We keep our kids connected with activities at church and sports that involve kids their age. When they were younger, we made sure to go to "story time" at the library every week. We've done ballet, tap, baton, etc (can you tell I have girls?). Now that they're older, they are more interested in basketball and other sports. We are about a 10-15 minute drive to the closest town so it's fairly easy to keep them involved in things that interest them but when we get home we have 23 acres of privacy and that's nice too.
farmlife blog at www.maytreefarm.com |
|
|
|
LouisvilleMom
True Blue Farmgirl
246 Posts
Kathryn
Louisville
KY
USA
246 Posts |
Posted - Jun 09 2010 : 10:27:04 AM
|
I just need to find that perfect mix of "in the country but not middle of nowhere". I cannot wait to get out of my HOA delgating, neighbors in your business, no room to run, tiny yard--no room for a garden suburban neighborhood.
We have lots of variables though. With a special needs child the schools are at the top of the list in considerations and many small towns just don't have the money to correctly deal with him. Here the schools are run by the county so we have a little more room to consider.
We are looking at 10 acres in WV for a vacation spot. We put in an offer but the guy didn't realize how negotiations worked and turned it down since he thought it was our top offer. We are putting in another offer soon though.
Thank you for all the input!
SAHM mom to four great boys.
http://ksfarnsworth.blogspot.com/ |
|
|
|
36paws20hooves
True Blue Farmgirl
161 Posts
Danielle
Weirsdale
Florida
USA
161 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2010 : 10:48:36 AM
|
Kathryn, I don't think you have to be born into it but it definitely has to be in your blood. I lived in a neighborhood where we would just jump the chainlink fence from our back yard to any other kids to go play. I was fine with that then but when I bought my place I knew I wanted land. I was 22 and went to a realtor that looked at me like I was crazy. Well here I am 8 years later with a FARM of my OWN. I do have neighbors, a very nice couple that are my age and then a couple that are older and not so nice (there is always one). I am the type of person when I get off on Friday I would be content on just staying here until Monday morning. The younger couple has kids and those are the only kids around but those 2 boys play with each other they no know different. Farming is a mind set, an attitude, a way of life.
I'm so busy I don't know if I just found a rope or lost my horse! |
|
|
|
nabrown42
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Nancy
Caneyville
KY
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2010 : 12:50:52 PM
|
We live in an addition in Ft. Wayne where our neighbors are in our business, one even came over twice while our landscaper was working to "supervise" his work so it was what "they" wanted done, their kids are destroying our property, the HOA restrictions won't allow a vegetable garden if it can be seen from the street and we can't have clotheslines. You can see why we are looking forward to selling and moving to our retirement home north of Bowling Green where we can't see another house, hear blaring car radios, and can run around buck naked if we so choose. (I'm kidding about that last statement). I'll never live within sight of a neighbor again!
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
|
|
|
36paws20hooves
True Blue Farmgirl
161 Posts
Danielle
Weirsdale
Florida
USA
161 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2010 : 3:02:25 PM
|
Nancy.... I know HOA's can be a pain.... I could NEVER have someone tell me what I can or can't plant or what color to paint my house. However they can not tell you that you can not have a clothes line. Several states have passed laws that go hand in hand with with the new energy laws. I would check with you local senators office or if you have a state website (ours is myFl.com).
I'm so busy I don't know if I just found a rope or lost my horse! |
|
|
|
Sarahpauline
True Blue Farmgirl
672 Posts
sarah
Ringgold
GA
USA
672 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2010 : 7:00:14 PM
|
We live sorta near the town, as far as Im concerned, we live way too close. I could easily be a hermit. My son does activities and sees friends. I dont think kids need to have that all the time influence from peers. I agree with danielle, I just painted my front door purple and the whole time I was doing it I was thinking, TAKE THAT nosey neighbors!
Another thing that annoys me is that my neighbors have complained that I dont feed my horses hay. THey even called the authorities. I was out there cleaning the barn, and the lady (I use the term loosely) walked out and announced over the fence that she thought it was just terrible that my horses didnt get ANY hay to eat, and that if I had any questions about horse care I should talk to her sister in law who got a horse last year and now she knows all about them. If I had psychic powers I could have killed her with my contempt in that moment. I hope she felt as stupid as she sounded when I explained to her that I studied abroad and received my stable management credential through the british horse society, and have owned horses for over 30 years. Furthermore, we have one horse that is allergic to hay, therefore they receive a complete feed, sprouted barley and soaked alfalfa cubes. After they called, the authorities didnt even come out. What a busybody. Any imbecile could look and see that my horses are fat and glossy. I really detest this woman.
fat people are harder to kidnap.
www.SarahPauline.com
www.AbraxasBaroque.com
www.whimsyscents.com
www.etsy.com/shop/daltonfabrics |
Edited by - Sarahpauline on Jul 01 2010 7:06:41 PM |
|
|
|
peafarm
True Blue Farmgirl
182 Posts
Penny
South Dakota
182 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2010 : 06:19:50 AM
|
My kids played outside from sun-up to sun-down when they were small and only came in, briefly, for meals.
When we visited my sister in Minneapolis, my son quietly whispered to me -- "What do kids do in town? There's no place to explore".
They also begged to stay at home instead of going to daycare. I am quite sure I would be appalled at myself if I think about what age they did start staying home by themselves. I'm sure it was too young, but it's painful for all of us to not to be home and outside as much as possible. (In my defense, my father was less then an 1/8 of a mile a way if needed. And he did get after my son who thought the rain gusher was absolute prime time to be outside)
Today, I see both of my kids happiest when they just expended lots of time and energy outside. It has been hard finding friends who love the outdoors as much as they do. It would have been harder for them to adopt to "city" activities for the sake of friends.
Penny
www.peafarm.weebly.com |
|
|
|
naturemaiden
True Blue Farmgirl
2569 Posts
Connie - Farmgirl #673
Hoosick Falls
NY
USA
2569 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2010 : 03:22:48 AM
|
Hi girls, as i mentioned in the other forums- my husband and i are discussing a major move when he retires, or sooner i hope. my boys will be grown then (one is already 22!), but i cant stand not having privacy. The neighborhood kids literally run through our backyards at night, yelling and screaming, and when the next door neighbors come out (they use the house as a summer home), you have NO privacy. My other neighbors are fine, as they are large trees on the other side. when i started my garden this year, the neighbor to the back of us said 'i though you were growing a farm' (because it is big i suppose), point is, she is nosy.
I am the kind of girl who wants quiet and privacy. Dont get me wrong, i dont mind talking to neighbors, i think it is great, but on the other hand, if i am sitting on my back patio, i want privacy. We have an very annoying neighbor only 2 houses over, he is SO loud!! he shouts when he talks, literally. One day while i sat on my back patio, i looked up to see him holding a beer, and staring at me in between trees at the back of his yard! i immediately moved my chair. he creeps me out. One day my older son came home and said this guy threatened to kill him because he was riding his dirtbike. I told my husband that if HE didnt go talk to him (he has known him since high school), that I would. My husband knows that if i went, there would of been trouble. So he went and explained that he threatened his stepson.Well he never spoke another word to my son again.
When the 'summer' people come out, they are about 30' away, and look at me when i am on the back patio. they dont talk, but look. It would be better if they said something. I just hate it. One day one of the guys asked to use my pruners. Strange i thought, considering he is visiting.
I would like to be in the country, but not in the middle of nowhere. I would like a lot of space between me and neighbors. i will feel sad because i dont know if i'll be far from my boys when we make the move. it will be lonely without them. that's the part i will have a hard time with.
I would love to join a quilters bee, or garden, cook, share things with my neighbors, etc. but i would also enjoy the peace the country would bring.
connie
www.NatureMaiden.com -Handcrafted Bath & Body Products that I make myself- including soaps, salves, lotion bars, lip balms, natural deodorants, body sprays, hydrosols, salt scrubs, and MUCH more!
http://naturemaidenbathbodyproduct.blogspot.com/(Business Blog)
http://flowerchild-lifeinthegarden.blogspot.com/(Personal blog)
|
Edited by - naturemaiden on Sep 07 2010 03:28:35 AM |
|
|
|
Melina
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Melina
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2010 : 6:29:23 PM
|
When we first moved to the country, we were 10 miles from town and a couple of miles from the nearest neighbor. Didn't matter, because the neighbors had nothing to do with us because we weren't "from there". Also, we tore down the 10 (yes, ten!) deer stands they had built on our 36 acres when it was sitting empty for years. We found that it made sense to make friends with the other outsiders in the area. They were starving for friendship and were being shunned, too. DH found it too isolated and we moved closer to a small town where we knew a few folks. Made all the difference. We were still a couple of miles away, and we had to purposely make plans to see them, but we loved it. Our closest neighbors still had nothing to do with us, but we had friends we could get together with and visit.
Now, we are back in town, close to our kids. I find I wait until the neighbors are gone to work before I weed the garden or work the front beds. Otherwise, I get nothing done because they are so busy visiting with me. I think the thing I dislike the most is smelling my neighbor's cigarette smoke! Better smoke from a neighbor's
woodstove or burn pile than a cigarette!
The morning breeze has secrets to tell you. Do not go back to sleep.
Rumi |
|
|
|
countrygirl10
True Blue Farmgirl
50 Posts
Ellen
Lower Lake
CA
USA
50 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2010 : 2:33:02 PM
|
What an interesting topic to hear with all the lovely differences in people.
I for one love the country! I'm on a ridge, on 21 acres, living on solar and it is so quiet up here! A plane or helicopter goes over once in a blue moon or sometimes I hear a 4 wheeler from one of the neighbors but mostly it is just quiet. It is so great to hear the mourning doves cooing and the other birds chirping. The deer & wild turkeys come through and visit and we have had a couple of bears, coyotes, foxes, bobcats that have wandered through. But, if everybody loved it then I wouldn't be able to enjoy it as I do. So I appreciate the differences in people.
When I go to visit my Mom for a few days, I am just so glad to get back to the quiet of my place. I am the only one here and sometimes that gets lonely, but I have friends that visit sometimes and I go into town and visit others or go to groups or festivals. But it is always so wonderful to get back here, that I just sigh with relief.
I have had friends or family that have visited and stayed overnight and they have trouble sleeping because there are no street lamps or noises. Me I sleep like a baby! That's my 2 cents from Northern CA!
Thank you all for being here!
Ellen
|
|
|
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2010 : 3:18:13 PM
|
I'd like to live even more remote, but circumstances don't allow for that right now.
I DO get lonely, but then I live far from my family and can't drive due to shabby eyesight, so I don't get out much or get much company. Drew and I love the country and hopefully one day will have our own wee bit of land and not have to live on other people's property.
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
|
|
|
|
countrygirl10
True Blue Farmgirl
50 Posts
Ellen
Lower Lake
CA
USA
50 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2010 : 3:46:14 PM
|
Hi Annika -
I wish we were closer and could visit. I've lived away from my family and friends in the past and I know how lonely that can be.
I'd love to visit Idaho! My dream of seeing Wyoming, Montana, Idaho and the Dakota's was partially fulfilled when I won a trip to Wyoming that I took in August.
We stayed in Sheridan,the Big Horn Mtns and drove through Yellowstone and Jackson Hole and the lower eastern corner of Idaho. It was a really amazing experience and I'd like to go back again someday and visit the other states I mentioned. We'll see if I make it while I still have the energy!
I hope your dream is fulfilled in spades.
Ellen
|
|
|
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2010 : 3:50:17 PM
|
Oh Ellen, what a sweet thing to say! I'd love to live closer too. Visiting would be a delight. I'm glad that you got to see a corner of our fair state in your travels. It sounds like you had a ball!
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
|
|
|
|
Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2010 : 12:13:07 PM
|
I love living out in the country. I have to go in town about 3 days out of the week and take care of my mom and handicapp sister whom lives with her. My mom does not drive and is getting pretty ill. I wish she lived out nearer to me. I dread going into town for any thing. I LOVE WAKING UP TO THE FAR FAINT OF THE ROOSTER CROWING, AND HEARING THE BIRDS CHIRPING AND THE COWS MOOING!!! Love it! Love it! Love it! But I did grow up with it.
I can't wait to jump out of bed in the mornings and get going. My sister in law ask me one time. How come you get up so early. I told her I never miss a sun rise or a sun set! And out here in the country it is a beautiful site. Matter a fact my son was interviewing some band members for his band the other evening. They went out to my Dh barn to practice. He had never met these kids before. They told him that the stars was so bright out here.
They had'nt seen stars that bright in a long time.
He was'nt sure exactly what they meant. So they told him in the city they never get to see the stars because of all the street lights. I thought Oh how sad.
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
|
|
|
child in harmony
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Marcia
Middleboro
MA
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Oct 31 2010 : 2:20:17 PM
|
I grow up in a small town that grew fast. We lived right off the center and houses were very close together. Then we moved to 12+ acres and life is GLORIOUS! Having space and privacy and animals and the nature abound. We just had to drive further to see people and get places but soooo worth it!
I am never lonely because I am busy devoting time to my kids and my passions and our animals..)..and I invite people over to visit!
(housework comes last hahaha).
~marcia
www.harmonywoodsfarm.com
www.childinharmony.com
"Enriching,nurturing and inspiring Life with nature,animals
and the arts .. for the child and the child within" |
|
|
|
chick-chick
True Blue Farmgirl
322 Posts
Liz
New Britain
CT
USA
322 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2010 : 8:21:40 PM
|
Oh I how I wish I could move to the country. Right now I live in the city, houses kinda close together. We have a yard that you can mow in about 10 mineuts so you know that it's not too big, but I do have a garden and chickens! My kids call me the crazy chicken lady but I LOVE my chickens. However I do let them roam the yard when I am home and more than once I've had to go chase them out of the neighbors yards. So some day I would like to live on about 5 or so acres someplace warm (not to much to ask for). I told my hubby we need to make a decision soon, we are 50 and I would like to do it before I am too old to enjoy it.
Liz
In God We Trust |
|
|
| |
A Farm of My Own: Lonely on your farm? |
|
Lonely on your farm?
