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 I need a Farmgirl Intervention!!!
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Lorie Marler
True Blue Farmgirl

265 Posts

Lorie
Guymon Ok
USA
265 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  09:42:07 AM  Show Profile
I am in desperate need of simplyfing my life.

I have an addiction to collecting old things, handmade things, aprons, linens, anything that looks old or that someone took a lot of time to make. I can't stand the idea of something being thrown away that someone spent so long making like embroidered tablecloths ect. I also have a huge abundance of kitchen gadgets that never ever get used. I can't stop myself from haunting my local thrift store and buying up all the neat stuff but my house is overrun and I am getting stressed.

I may find 1 thing I like (for instance a gorgeous oil lamp) and before I know it I have 23 (yes that is not a typo) oil lamps. I tend to go overboard and can't help myself. I have tried to remind myself to Simplify and that Mary Jane lived in a tent without all these treasures and was perfectly happy but it breaks my heart to see these wonderful things get thrown away or left in the thrift store where no one appreciates them.

I have started gathering things up that I think other Farmgilrs might love and hope to send them out as gifts or RAOK but I know I will continue buying if I don't get help.

And don't even ask about my craft stuff. I have stuff for crafts I have never ever tried yet but think might be fun to make someday. Oh and my aprons. I have snatched up every apron I have ever seen in the thrift store and don't really have many that I wear.

I am truly addicted. Please give me advice and help a crazy farmgirl let go and simplify!

http://bikerbunniesrabbitry.webs.com

Annika
True Blue Farmgirl

5602 Posts

Annika

USA
5602 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  09:52:31 AM  Show Profile
Lorie, it's so hard to admit that you need help. My house if so cluttered with "Things" that I think I need or can't bear to get rid off... I don't have any advice other than to start sending things off as RAOK gifts and try to not bring too much more home...it is a real problem and I wish I had magical words of wisdom...I hope that you find your way to peace and simplicity. Have you talked to a therapist? It really might be helpful for you.

Mean while, I'm right there with you sister...trying to find simplicity is sooooo hard.

Take care and let us know how it goes

Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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Lorie Marler
True Blue Farmgirl

265 Posts

Lorie
Guymon Ok
USA
265 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  09:53:48 AM  Show Profile
Seriously if you have any advice I really am asking for help. My husband wants to throw everything away and Easter weekend I had a small melt down and threw everything off my kitchen counter across from my stove and the toaster hit the oven door and shattered it. needless to say I am paying for my habit literally.

http://bikerbunniesrabbitry.webs.com
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Lorie Marler
True Blue Farmgirl

265 Posts

Lorie
Guymon Ok
USA
265 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  09:56:30 AM  Show Profile
Annika,

thank you so much!! I will try not to bring anything else home and My goal is to send out 1 box a week RAOK. I just need to fiqure out what farmgirl likes what. Is there a thread with peoples likes on it somewhere??

http://bikerbunniesrabbitry.webs.com
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl

5602 Posts

Annika

USA
5602 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  09:58:09 AM  Show Profile
You should start a farmgirl likes and dislikes thread =)

Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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Lorie Marler
True Blue Farmgirl

265 Posts

Lorie
Guymon Ok
USA
265 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  10:00:50 AM  Show Profile
hmm that is a great idea. Maybe I can work on that tonight. Got to get back to work. Thanks so much i feel tons better!!!

http://bikerbunniesrabbitry.webs.com
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl

1333 Posts

Siobhan
Battle Creek MI
USA
1333 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  10:15:14 AM  Show Profile
I think it's a great place to start to tell yourself "no more" and start giving away. I'm getting overloaded on aprons myself, but when I see them, I grab them up. I will love to share the apron love by giving away some of the neat ones I find. There's always someone out there who is looking for those treasures and sending them out as RAOK could totally make their day. Take the oil lamps, for example. I have one. It's my first one and I just found it about 2 weeks ago. Do you know how long I was actively looking for one of those things? Probably about 4 months! LOL...they're not easy to come by around here. I think Annika has a great idea about a likes and dislikes thread. We had a thread on another forum that I used to belong to called a hugs thread and then there was a hugs list where everyone listed information about themselves (fave colors, size, favorite things, kids' ages, etc) and you could go look someone up on the list if you felt the need to send them a "hug". Maybe you could start a "RAOK personal lists" thread where anyone who wants to participate can go and list their info and when anything changes they can go back and edit their list anytime. Then maybe all of us "stuff" collectors can enjoy blessing others and be able to save the wonderful "stuff" from it's sad home at the thrift shop and give it a new home LOL!

Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09)
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clothedinscarlet
True Blue Farmgirl

1333 Posts

Siobhan
Battle Creek MI
USA
1333 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  10:18:12 AM  Show Profile
PS....I had to go look at your bunnies, Lorie. I love the white baby with the full "mustache". So cute! It must be fun to raise those soft little fluff balls!

Farmgirl Sister #1110
Siobhan - AKA Liza-Jane (my farmgirl name), wife to my best friend, Trent, and mommy to Camden (11/28/05) and Bennett (7/11/07). and Truman (7/28/09)
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gypsy goat
True Blue Farmgirl

673 Posts

mary jo
michigan
673 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  10:23:36 AM  Show Profile
i love old things too-i find it hard to believe some of the things people have no attachment to that belongs to family!!! i've had to stop going to my fav. haunts so as not to buy anymore. but i think the thread idea is really cool too-only i will have to stay away as i love aprons and old things!!!!!

whatever you are be a good one-abe lincoln
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl

1735 Posts

angela
martinsville indiana
USA
1735 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  10:23:51 AM  Show Profile
I had a similar problem a while back with things to decorate the house with. I had enough to decorate four houses with! Really! When we got close to hitting bottom due to DH losing his job I realized how much wasted money I had laying around the house. I have gifted most of those things to family and friends as christmas and b-day so they can decorate thier houses. I now ask myself 'does this have a use or a spot at my home' before I allow myself to buy anything! It works well for me. By the way, I collect roosters, antique milk bottles, and music related decorations for our house and actually have very little right now. I'm not sure what RAOK is but would be interested in finding out so maybe we could do something about some of your stuff between the two of us. I am also planning on making an apron curtian for the kitchen window with chicken or food related patterned aprons. Could you do things like that with some of your aprons? Any of your collections you could re-purpose into something you want or need around your house? Maybe use the oil lamps as porch lights for evening company? I saw a house that had them around the porch rails with four tall legs holding up a metal cone shaped cover over each one. It kept the rain out of the lamps and the legs touched the lamps to hold them steady. The covers were screwed down with wing nuts so you can bring in the lamps for winter so they don't freeze. It was really pretty and you can get citronella scented oil to drive off the bugs. Just a thought.

God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important?
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl

1949 Posts

Melanie
Boonville IN
USA
1949 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  10:30:45 AM  Show Profile  Send melanie47601 a Yahoo! Message
Oh Lori~ sending you lots of hugs! It sounds as though you may have a bit of a hoarding issue or more than a bit. I'm sorry. I really do not say that to mean any offense at all. I clean homes and have been to a couple that have seen some hoarding issues. Nothing of course what the tv series showed and I'm not at all suggesting that you are in anyway like those on the tv either. But I hear your cries for help and I really do want to help you.

First rule of thumb- If you don't love it or use it and if it does not have "serious" sentimental value, get rid of it! From one recovering packrat to another, I know this is a very hard thing to do. But it is not impossible!

Now I love your thought on re-gifting. And I know we all love to share our treasures with our fellow farmgirls, but it can also be pricey when it comes to shipping those treasures. If you are sure you want to RAOK out some of your treasures, I will most happily include you in our fun RAOK list!

But here's another suggestion as a way to share your goodies with your farmgirl sisters that will not break the bank- List your items in the barter thread and ask the farmgirl to pickup the postal charges in exchange for the treasure.

Have a super-sized yardsale and mark everything with a price tag that's sure to move it out. Or consider selling on consignment.

But as for beginning your journey to a simpler, less cluttered home. Start with deciding on how you want to decorate your home. This is where I found my problem really found it's foundation to grow into a larger one. I like some many different styles and things, I just kept collecting and stashing and well you get the picture. I decided that I want to decorate my home in an antiquey country style.

When you start to de-clutter your home work in one room until it is finsihed. Start in one area and work in a circle. When your get rid of box gets full, get rid of it! Do not store it in another room to go through again later to make sure you didn't miss something. Just pitch it!

So here's a check list:
1. Decide on your decorating theme- something that you will LOVE to come home to everyday!
2. One room at a time! Do not tackle the whole house at once. This is extremely overwhelming and you will lose your will power and steam almost immeadiately.
3. Only keep the things you are going to use, have a strong emotional value or you LOVE like no other (say like your oil lamps, keep only your most favorited!)
4. Find a buddy close that can help you overcome this thriftin and collectin addiction. And if you ever need someone to talk to email me, write me, whatever. I will help you in any way that I can. I only wish I lived closer so I could be your cleaning buddy. ;)
5. Now this very possibly could be the hardest step of all. No more thriftin for awhile. Ouch! I know. Please don't hate me. Same goes for craft supplies. Use up what you have first. Everything will be ok. I promise.

And remember anytime you need to vent, feel stressed or feel the urge to thrift, I am here to help in any way that I can.

Hugs~ Melanie

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"

Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/

Swap Blog~ http://mels-swapshop.blogspot.com/
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl

1270 Posts

Diane
Blasdell N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  11:00:11 AM  Show Profile
Lorie, I also over collect things. So now I am just collecting the old jar openers. They don't take up much space and are kind of hard to find. Mailing things out can become expensive. A yard sale is a good idea, or donating things to a church rubbage sale, I have no space and my craft area needs to be cleaned out. I gave all my candy molds and everything to make candy to my sister-in-law. She really loved it. My other sister-in-law will get all my cloth material. She can sew anything so I know she will put it to good use. Giving items as gifts is also a good idea especially if someone really likes what you have..

I got rid of some things when I put a box on the chair and made myself put 3 items in it a day and I did not take any thing out. Your not alone in this, you may have convienced me to keep trying.... Good luck, I know it's hard but you can do it & so can I!

Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl

4562 Posts

Diane
Waupaca WI
USA
4562 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  11:19:50 AM  Show Profile
Well, the first thing is realizing you have a problem. The next is have a big sale. Advertise it for free on Craig's list. Make big pretty signs and put them at good intersections. Now, sorting things for the sale...Put everything that is a duplicate in one pile, start with your oil lamps. When they are all together you can easily pick one or two to keep and sell the rest. Do this with everything you have and you will be amazed at how easier it gets. The money you will make can go into organizational stuff to help you simplify your home.

Why not go out on a limb, that's where all the fruit is! "Mark Twain"
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl

5216 Posts

Sharon
Bruce Crossing Michigan
USA
5216 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  12:38:32 PM  Show Profile
I understand Lorie. I often see great items at Thrift Stores and cannot believe that someone just got rid of it. I have to ask myself:
Will I use this? Is it even a style I like? Will it just be taking up space?

The other gals have given great advice. I know that when I declutter or give stuff away it gives me peace. I agree with the other gals, giving things away will bless you (your husband :)) and the recipient and free up room. Or maybe you should consider selling items on E-bay? If people are shopping there you know that they really want what they are bidding on. Just a thought :) I will be praying for the Lord to grant you self-control and wisdom :)

~Sharon

By His Grace, For His Glory

http://merryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl

3557 Posts

Diana
Orofino ID
USA
3557 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  12:41:25 PM  Show Profile
Lorie can you post pictures? I think you have a great start for a small business. Get a camera if you don't have one and start taking pictures and selling it. If you like it someone will too. But just know that you don't need that much stuff either

Diana

Farmgirl Sister #273
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl

22941 Posts

Alee
Worland Wy
USA
22941 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  1:54:30 PM  Show Profile  Send Alee a Yahoo! Message
Oh Lorie! My heart goes out to you! I do the same thing when it comes to aprons and things with Arabian horse on them!!

You have been given some really EXCELLENT advice here! One thing that might make you feel better is if you knew your things were going to people who would appreciate them. What about doing a yard sale listed as "Farmgirl Vintage" or something like that so you know that only people who are interested is such things was drawn in.

*hugs* I know it will get better from here! I wish I could come out to help!

Another thing that some organizational experts do is put out three big tarps and you have to take everything out and sort it by keep, sell and throw away. Then when you go back inside you see how much room you have.

I would keep 1 or 2 of each item that you really love like the oil lamps and say no more than 7-10 aprons. Just keep what you can use or display and take the "cream of the crop" for example.

I bet you would be amazed at how many people are out there drooling over the thought of having some of your treasures! I am wishing I could come to your yard sale!! :D

Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl

861 Posts

Mary
New Braunfels TX
USA
861 Posts

Posted - Apr 19 2010 :  3:31:39 PM  Show Profile
Hi, Lorie,
You have already gotten TONS of great advice here. I used to over collect too, after my husband died. It was part of the grief process, picking up this and that things that reminded me of him- fabric, things to embroider, knic nacs. Eventually, I stopped just becuase it was costing too much. Then later, when I finished grieivng the loss, I actually used and gave away or bartered a lot of the fabrics that had piled up. While they were serving as a memorial, I could not use them!( I think you got one of them, the baseball fabric.) It may be helpful to see the itmes as symbolic, and keep a few or less of each like Alee said. Otherwise, it's like building a museaum where items are not being put to use!
Buying things can be a way of coping or maintaining control. It gets confusing when the things we collect lie close to our hearts , like Farmgirl items do. Getting rid of the things feels like getting rid of a piece of ourselves at first. But when things get out of balance, it's like we can't use or enjoy the things we have, and we have to clear out.
It's great that you could recognize that the collecting was getting out of control. Melanie's suggestion to consider a therapist is a good one, and we can all support you. The supplement 5-Htp, 50 mg at bedtime, can help raise seratonin levels in situations such as these when we feel out of control about cravings or addictions. Breaking patterns can be very hard but it is also very freeing. We have to re- focus the part of ourselves that collected, on something else, and that's where we eventually find freedom!
Pop me an email any time.
Your sister,
Mary LD

Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!)
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Bonnie Ellis
True Blue Farmgirl

2474 Posts

Bonnie
Minneapolis Minnesota
USA
2474 Posts

Posted - Apr 22 2010 :  01:14:29 AM  Show Profile
To all of you packrats out there: There is a way to keep all of your favorite stuff and have lots more space. TAKE PICTURES of all the things you love. Pretend you have to move to assisted living and measure your space. Then you can give some to friends, go to MJF Farm Fair in July and have fun watching people who will "love" your things and you know they will have a good home. It's not easy weeding through the "stuff" but with support of friends, it can be done. I've done it. I feel free to enjoy the space I have. The only problem is to really think "do I need, want, love that and where will it go". Good luck all. Bonnie

grandmother and orphan farmgirl
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staci860
True Blue Farmgirl

838 Posts

Staci
Newville PA
USA
838 Posts

Posted - Apr 22 2010 :  12:28:20 PM  Show Profile
Lorie, well, I guess you can see you are not alone.
You've taken the first and hardest step. Admitting the problem and asking for help. The ladies here have given some of the best advice I've seen.
You can do it and I know that I can , too. I have a similar problem - not to the same extent (yet) but I love craft supplies and have so many projects started or still in the box.
My husband is also upset with the stuff that I haul home or hang on to. My home is filled with sentimental items from my family - It's a bit ridiculous at times but I just can't seem to pitch anything...I'll be following this thread, praying for all of us addicts and hopefully staying motivated to go home and at least sort out a few things to pass along. RAOK has been a good release for me.

Blessings, staci FG# 973
:o )

Happiness is a full clothesline...

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Lorie Marler
True Blue Farmgirl

265 Posts

Lorie
Guymon Ok
USA
265 Posts

Posted - Apr 22 2010 :  7:39:53 PM  Show Profile
Great news!! I have a box full of things I am ready to part with, I have a few things set aside for Christmas gifts to friends and I am seriously thinking of bartering or RAOK some other things. I am not getting rid of my fabrics yet since all of that is nicely stored in plastic totes or any of my embroidery patterns ect since I truly love them and am working on some. I do have a plan now.

1. I have to totally love an item and know where it will go before I will buy it.
2. I will organize my laundry room (and stashing place) I plan on decorating it with some mismatched vintage curtains in coordinating fabrics that I already have. Hang mini aprons on the wall and display some of my treasures on the large shelf that is currently my stashing spot.
3. I will go through my craft supplies and thin out things by organizing a swap box.
4. I will try to finish 1 project a week so I can get some of these things put up.

I am so glad I am not the only collector around. I did get the 6 boxes of Christmas decorations put up and my spare bedroom was clean and guest ready. Good thing I got that done since we had an unexpected guest stay over and more coming in a few weeks. Thank you so much for all your advice!! I feel more empowered and confident I can get a handle on it. I just need to nail down how I am going to decorate each room and stick to it.


http://bikerbunniesrabbitry.webs.com
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl

5216 Posts

Sharon
Bruce Crossing Michigan
USA
5216 Posts

Posted - Apr 22 2010 :  8:11:42 PM  Show Profile
Good for you Lorie!!! Feels good doesn't it? :)

~Sharon

By His Grace, For His Glory

http://merryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl

1949 Posts

Melanie
Boonville IN
USA
1949 Posts

Posted - Apr 23 2010 :  04:33:14 AM  Show Profile  Send melanie47601 a Yahoo! Message
YAY Lorie!!! You can do it!!

Hugs~ Melanie

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"

Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/

Swap Blog~ http://mels-swapshop.blogspot.com/
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl

2027 Posts

Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts

Posted - Apr 23 2010 :  05:01:48 AM  Show Profile
Good job Lori!!I got in kind of late on this thread, but it looks like you've already got some great advice and are on the right track. congrats!!!

--* FarmMilkMama *--

Farmgirl Sister #1086

Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde

www.wakeupstartlearning.blogspot.com
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl

22941 Posts

Alee
Worland Wy
USA
22941 Posts

Posted - Apr 23 2010 :  06:34:02 AM  Show Profile  Send Alee a Yahoo! Message
YAY Lorie!! That is great news!! I am so happy for you! I bet it feels awesome to see the progress you have made already!!

Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl

861 Posts

Mary
New Braunfels TX
USA
861 Posts

Posted - Apr 23 2010 :  10:41:30 AM  Show Profile
Lorie, I'm going to try to finish a project a week, too!
That's a GREAT idea, making it reasonable , not overwhelming, to get finished!
Mary LD

Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!)
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debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl

1853 Posts

deborah
nutley nj
USA
1853 Posts

Posted - Apr 23 2010 :  5:14:40 PM  Show Profile
lorie
i was just like you its a form of OCD.
then one night i was watching
a show on tv and i think its was called
Hoarding:buried alive on TLC is on again on the april 25th
google its is all about hoarding and how it ruins lifes
and after seeing how those poor people lived
i got up and literaly cleaned tossed donated recycled and gifted
it took weeks and when i starting to faulter i'd watch another episode of the show
and get moving again.. it truly scared me to think this could be me..
talk about scared clean....lol
good luck deborah

http://jerseyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
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