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Parenting & Farm Kids:  How are boys supposed to act these days? UPDATED  |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
 Posted - May 29 2010 : 07:51:19 AM
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I was at the park yesterday with my 7 year old granddaughter. She was playing with some other kids so I was sitting on a bench. There were 5 little boys, I don't know if they were brothers, but they were all pretty close in age probably 4-8. I laughed at them so much just sitting there watching them. They all wanted to be on the same thing and of course the one on didn't want to get off and the other would try everything to get him off. Even hitting, punching, pushing. And they'd look at me to see what I would do. So I was telling them to wait there turn and not hit. Their mother was talking on the phone through all this. They'd holler at her every few seconds. It was so funny.
I said all this to say that I had 2 girls. I now have 3 granddaughters. So I have not been around boys at all. But they are so totally different than girls. Those boys made my head spin. They were all over the place. Fast! And furious! But it was fun to watch them. When the mom finally got off the phone she came over and was talking to them. Like nothing bothered her at all. She was so used to all of them doing these things. She didn't holler at them or spank them. She was calm. And they were generally good boys. I had a good time watching them. But I don't think I could handle more than a few minutes with all that energy! Si I really feel for you moms with boys. You sure have your work cut out for you.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2010 : 11:18:42 AM
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LOL Kris - my mom always says "I can't watch when the boys do anything! I'm so nervous!" She had girls, and you're right, its totally different. Its a different kind of energy. Not necessarily more, just different. Glad you had fun watching them - it was a reminder for me about perspective!
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.wakeupstartlearning.blogspot.com
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - May 29 2010 : 11:30:29 AM
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I have a little boy wrapped in the cutest little girl you have ever seen. I swear my daughter is worse than 10 boys. I will trade anyone my one daughter for all the boys for a day. Good Lord, she is so full of the devil, I mean full of energy.
They give her extra work at school or let her help in the office, help with the smaller kids, and even once let her wipe all the registers in the hallway and sweep it. She just keeps going. She is happy, healthy, and bright.
I am grateful for a healthy child.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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Sourceress
True Blue Farmgirl
76 Posts
Elisabeth
Thurmont
MD
76 Posts |
Posted - May 30 2010 : 6:14:01 PM
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This is one of many, many reasons we homeschool our sons. Your little boy is not dysfunctional - the public education system is dysfunctional. The school is dysfunctional. Your little boy is perfectly normal, and just fine. Little boys were not meant to sit still at desks in classrooms, staring at a blackboard. Little boys were meant to run and climb and move and explore and try things. Aside from all the other reasons I have for homeschooling the boys, is this simple fact. Corwyn spent a month and a half in a Waldorf kindergarten, which I had high hopes for, but apparently his teacher was new, and hadn't really figured things out well yet, and anyway, to make a long story short, Corwyn was constantly in the office in trouble for basically being rowdy and rambunctious. He didn't fit into the quiet, sweet, cooperative Waldorf model of a child, and she just didn't know what to do with him. And this is my quiet, cooperative, easy-going child! I've never even tried sending his younger brother to school, because I am pretty sure I know what would happen - he'd spend the entire time cooling his heels in detention, get labeled a "bad kid", believe the label, and well, things would just spiral downward fairly rapidly. But he's *not* a bad kid. He's just a really active, hands-on kid. He doesn't sit still for more than 15 minutes at a time, and that only on a good day. So he needs to be allowed to learn in a way that respects who he is, instead of trying to make him into something he isn't.
Anyway, I forgot where I was going with this, except to say that little boys are not meant to sit and desks and be bored out of their minds. They're meant to be out in the sunshine, running and exploring and being active. When we try to force them to do something unnatural, of course they don't respond very well! From what you said, it sounds to me more like your son is bored than anything else. And shame on those teachers and administrators for trying to say there's something pathological about him when the problem is really with them and how well (or badly) they are doing their jobs.
Lis
*the Sourceress*
unschooling mama to
Corwyn (4/99)
and Galen (5/01) |
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Domestichippie
Farmgirl in Training
16 Posts
Erika
Indianapolis
In
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 11:00:35 AM
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| Sounds like a normal little boy to me:) |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 1:23:10 PM
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I'm just gonna jump in and say people need to be careful about blaming "Public Schools" as a whole for things like this. I am a public school teacher and I would NEVER send notes home like this. Please understand that even if the note comes from the teacher, the nurse or even the principal that it is from a PERSON not "PUBLIC SCHOOLS". I am sorry that so many of you have had problems with public schools but please do not make generalizations. I have had to deal with a lot of children that were YEARS behind other students because their parents thought it was a good idea to homeschool them and then didnt teach them anything. I realize though that the problem was those particular parents and not EVERYONE who homeschools. I know many people who do an AMAZING job homeschooling their kids.
It hurts my feeling when the job I work REALLY hard at and love is repeatedly talked about so poorly. I will not call out individual posts but some of you really should go back and read what you wrote and consider whose feelings you may be hurting.(Im not the only public school teacher on this forum). If you have a problem with an individual teacher or a school you should take it up with them and not make blanket statements about an entire profession.
Christie, FIRST let me clarify that i am not directing my comment at you and I am so sorry you are going through this with your child. I hope you find answers and a method that works for you. I am against "drugging" kids when there are so many better alternatives out there. Good luck!
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.eggsandherbs.com
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Edited by - willowtreecreek on Jun 02 2010 8:18:35 PM |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2875 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2875 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 6:19:35 PM
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Julie
I know many fine fine people that came out of the public school system (me included!!, at least I think I turned out OK)
My neighbor is an MD & he & his wife both went to public school & could easily send their child to a prviate establishment, or homeschool(his wife has an ed degree). They sent their sweetie to our local public school. It is a decent system, not the best, but certainly not the worst. She (the wife) volunteers there several times a week, and they are very involved in her activities. Their daughter is bright, artistic, and will no doubt go far.
Their are some wonderful teachers in the public school system(I go to church with at least 10), and if I had a child, I would not hesitate to do the same.
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Jun 02 2010 : 6:29:50 PM
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Julie,
Thanks for writing and sharing your experiences with us. This was not my original post, but I did respond, and I have been following it.
My son is turning 18, and I have been around kids/ familes all these recent years as a parent and a midwife. I felt it was very important to send my son to a public school as we live in a public world. Also, because I was a single parent without child support, I often worked very long hours. I am NOT talking about anything I've read on this forum, but I can say that I have seen a lot of parents take their kids out of public school into programs which do NOT treat learning differences/ disablities, for a variety of reasons. One is denial that their child has a problem. I'm sitting on the side of the fence where my child, for whom I advocated and fought, for whom I did everything in my power to help, was damaged, hurt and left behind due to untreated learning disabilities. Had I homeschooled or put him in private school, there would not have been any programs to help him. When he finally got diagnosed at 13 yrs, 9 months, the first thing he said was " I guess I'm not stupid after all." It broke my heart that he felt that way about himself, and yet I knew he did feel that way because of how he acted. For every kid who is falsely labelled with learning issues, I have to wonder how many are not tested or diagnosed at all. Funds at school can be very short, and if the school is offering to test, I advise parents to go for it. If the kid is fine, the tests will show that, and the singling out should come to an end. I switched schools 3 times from grades 5-8, trying to get help for my son. He went to public high school, and then public continuation high school to make up lost credits. Then we moved to TX, where he got a 504 plan and has earned 100% of his credits for the first time ever, as a senior. I am so sad when I hear parents in denial of the possibilty that their children might benefit from testing and services. Schools can be right, and they can be wrong. The world is not a perfect place, but I am sad for all the kids out there who are feeling inadquate in the classroom setting, for whatever reason.
Public school teachers are under SO much pressue with budget cuts, classroom sizes, and parents working around the clock. Many of them put their own salaries into classroom supplies and needed items, while many unpaid hours are spent doing the work expected of a teacher.
Someone on this forum took a real crack at something I suggested, and it upset me that my well meant advice was turned around to insult another person. I was insulted by her comment, as well. Then again, I come from the heart and I speak my mind, which never sits well with everyone across the board. That's how it goes.
~ Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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Calico Countess
Farmgirl in Training
16 Posts
Christie
Bow Island
Alberta
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2010 : 9:46:52 PM
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Hello everyone,
Sorry about the delay but I thought I'd wait until all the results were in before I posted again.
I'd like to say as well, that I have great respect for public school teachers. I have a few friends who are teachers and was going to be one myself...until my husband swept me off my feet (but that's another story!). It seems that today, teachers are expected to act as social workers, surrogate parents, etiquette teachers, etc etc *and* teach all the children in their classroom, tailoring each lesson to each individual person.
Anyhow, the pediatrician called me today to let me know that the bloodwork results were on on my son. As it happens, he is quite low on iron, which rather surprised us all. However, after doing some minor investigating online about low iron levels and symptoms, it does explain a few things that have been going on with him. She also feels he has a sensory processing disorder, as he seems to interpret cues around him differently and she feels it contributes to his "wiggliness". This combined with the results from his intelligence tests where he scored very high, start making the picture a little more clear.
The school is going to continue with his physical exercises and fine motor skills, which we work on at home too, but I'm just so thankful that the doctor found out about his low iron. He sees our family doctor on Friday for some "iron therapy" and I've drawn up a list of foods high in iron which I will be making sure will be well incorporated into our diets. Thankfully he's not a fussy eater and loves brocolli, raisins, etc.
Thank you all for your support and kind words through this. It's nice to have a place where one can share one's troubles and hear that you're not alone out there with the struggle at hand!
"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful" ~ Mae West |
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2010 : 05:28:49 AM
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I'm soooo glad you have some answers.
Please continue to keep us posted, or use us as a sounding board.
How great that these concerns were caught early!
I had severe anemia after an illness. I got better with fermented foods, iron rich foods, Floradix ( which might not taste good to a kid, I'm not sure) and buffalo. Buffalo has more protien and iron than beef. We need animal protien, good gut flora ( probiotics of some sort) and vitamins B and C to absorb iron. Adding a vitamin C rich food to your high iron food can help a lot. ( Black beans, add tomatoes; greens, add lemon, etc. Broccoli seems to have both nutrients already.)
Good luck!!!!
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2010 : 05:30:23 AM
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PS, Kudos to your pediatrician. My friend's son was being kicked out of Waldorf school at age 8 and their ped was not involved at all, never gave a diagnosis. Good for you, going to the ped first!
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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Calico Countess
Farmgirl in Training
16 Posts
Christie
Bow Island
Alberta
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2010 : 06:47:04 AM
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Actually, it was my family doctor who suggested going to the pediatrician first as he was did not believe my son has ADHD/ADD or anything that would require him going to the child psychologist. I wonder now if the child psychologist would have caught the iron thing (do they even test for that?) or if my son would have been prescribed a course of meds to take to treat his "behaviours". I am going to ask my family doctor though, why my son is low on iron as we do eat quite healthily and my son loves brocolli, oatmeal, raisins, etc. I'm hoping he doesn't have an ulcer or something that might be causing him to have a slow bleed somewhere.
"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful" ~ Mae West |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Sep 23 2010 : 6:23:21 PM
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Oh, I am glad you found something out. I have been thinking about your post. I've been doing a lot of reading over the summer about feminism movement of the 60's and the repercussions thereof...that is, trying to mold little boys into little girls. Boys, being the more aggressive and typically more active sex, often are labeled as 'troublesome' or 'ADHD' when this may not even be the case (as you well know).
I hope that you find out the source of his deficiency. It will be interesting to see how he feels when his levels come up! :0)
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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rschaaf
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Renee
Wooster
Ohio
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2010 : 8:01:56 PM
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My oldest nephew (he's 9) sounds alot like your son. He has alot of energy, though for him it's nervous energy. He actually eats the eraser end off his pencils! He is very intellegent and loves to read, but absolutely hates school, the regiment of school. To deal with this, he goes into his imaginary world and it's hard to know if he's in reality or his little world. He has very few friends and kids tend to think he's weird. We've figured out that if he is stressed or upset about something, he tends to retreat. But, when he's by himself, and has alot of on-on-one time, he is 100% with you and a completely different kid. He was doing really well, until he had to go back to school and things started going downhill again. I'm not sure how he's been lately, but he was trying to get sick so he didn't have to go to school. Maybe your son is bored with school or the school routine? Can you homeschool or open enroll him to another district?
By the way, I'm 32 years old and still wrap my legs around a chair...I think they are feeding yiou a line of...well you know.
It will be hard to not find a doctor that won't want to medicate him in our "pill for every ill" society.
Good Luck!
"There is beauty, there is grace, in my peaceful country place!"
See what I'm up to at: http://www.lifeonctfarm.blogspot.com |
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Mommyswanson
True Blue Farmgirl
463 Posts
Laura
Waukegan
IL
USA
463 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 4:00:21 PM
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Hi Christie
I just found this post & read all of your updates about your son. My son who is now 12 was a very "wiggly" kid & would "schlunk" in his chair, chew on his pencils & be very excitable & loud at times in class at home he was very active but very happy & had the lovely quirk of having to have his collar tags removed from his shirts because he could "feel them!" As a preschooler his teacher was very concerned & we followed up with our pediatrician who after evaluating him determined that he did have some sensory issues that made him need to wiggle more and just be more aware & sensitive to his environment, we also found out that he had a higher than average IQ & was gifted. Luckily we were able to place him in an accelerated school. The wiggles are still there when he's excited or nervous. He still needs to be challenged at school but at 12 years old he is a straight B & A student, has friends & is well liked by his teachers. Most of the boys in his accelerated program act just like him!!! When he was younger we did enroll him in swimming & tae kwon do to help him have a place to hang out with other boys & expel some of that energy & tire him out & it really helped. As I type this he is taking a homework break & wrestling with his sister in the middle of the floor! I hope that this school year goes better. We were very lucky that our son has had very understanding teachers who know that this behavior is very normal for boys & particularly gifted ones. Good Luck!!
Laura
"That which does not kill us makes us strong!" "I cast all my cares upon you Lord." |
Edited by - Mommyswanson on Oct 19 2010 4:02:45 PM |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: How are boys supposed to act these days? UPDATED |
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How are boys supposed to act these days? UPDATED
