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Across the Fence:  My big mouth got me into trouble : \  |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 7:28:46 PM
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I need some advice.
the other day at work, i had a co-worker speak very nastly about her manager that i was training in my job. this manager has bent over backwards for this person and i was angred by the nasty attitude that came out of no where. when i went back to training the manager, i was so aggravated that it kinda slipped out and i repeated what was said to me.
the manager confronted the girl about this and at first she denied it. now the girl is asking me about if i said something. which i did and i dont want to deny it but im not sure how to respond to her email without getting deffensive and making it more difficult to work together then its already going to be.
i know i should have kept my mouth shut, just for this reason. but inthe moment of anger i couldnt.
Karen ^_^
www.miss2missus.com |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 7:38:50 PM
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oh the part i need advice on isthe best way to respond, i kina suck with words, esp in situations like this.
Karen ^_^
www.miss2missus.com |
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rschaaf
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Renee
Wooster
Ohio
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 8:08:10 PM
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Karen, are you a superior to the girl who spoke ill of your manager-in-training? Did she tell you directly or you overhear her?
"There is beauty, there is grace, in my peaceful country place!"
See what I'm up to at: http://www.lifeonctfarm.blogspot.com |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 8:13:34 PM
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its kinda complcated the way the system works, the manager is her manager but not mine, and im not a manager to the girl either. its weird. but the girl came up to me, i was about to ask how she was, she went off on her rant then turned and left. there were atleast 3 or 4 with 10 feet of us including said manager.
i just want to let her know that yeah i slipped up without turning this into an arguement
Karen ^_^
www.miss2missus.com |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 8:17:10 PM
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My advice speak to her in person not via email. No one can truely read how you intend things through email. Plus once it's in writing it's ALWAYS in writing!
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2010 : 8:23:10 PM
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true. my only concern about not just responding to her email is that shes the type o person that will start yelling on floor nfront of customers. its not something i want to get wrapped up in. i know its my fault, but i just want to say yeah i said it can we move on.
Karen ^_^
www.miss2missus.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2010 : 03:16:44 AM
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| Suggest a private chat on a back room for sure and if possible |
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2010 : 07:48:34 AM
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Agreed. Private chat. Apologize for letting something slip out in an angry moment. Fess up. Apologize. Sweet and simple. Understanding she may go off and potentially say things that are going to hurt or make you angry. At that point, deflect and tell her that you aren't there for all of "that." After you have apologized. THe monkey is on her back. Good luck. I hate it when I have to go do damage control because of something I do or say.
Do what you love, love what you do. |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2010 : 08:03:15 AM
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I also agree with Angie. If she's asking, you say, "yes, I did. And here's why". And if she's throws a tantrum on the floor or makes a scene, you simply say, "you're being unreasonable, and I won't speak with you until you calm down." It's on her then, and it will be as well if she doesn't act "a fool" as my gran, would say.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2010 : 08:07:22 AM
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I'd just be honest with her and say, You just caught me so off guard with your comments that I was shocked and then got angry. I let slip out what you had said. Tell her you are sorry (if you are)but that she really shoudn't say things like that. I don't like lying and she was in the wrong too. But she could of just been venting to you, so I suppose an apology is in order from both of you. Then let it go.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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mscountrygirl
True Blue Farmgirl
552 Posts
Michelle
Lucedale
Mississippi
USA
552 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2010 : 08:07:59 AM
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I think all the advice given here is sound. Conflict resolution is part of what I do in the proffessional world. I think if she gets inappropriate in front of others it will show them her true nature. It isn't really your worry what her reaction will or won't be. Private is better though. I would start with something acknowledging her possible need to vent, but then be honest about how what she said made you feel. Some people need to vent, and let her know that, and that it's ok, HOWEVER she needs to learn how and when to vent appropriatly. I will be praying for you!!!
Michelle
It's all good! |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - Feb 04 2010 : 5:20:41 PM
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thanks so much guys. its been eating me up all day trying to figure out how to deal with this.
Karen ^_^
www.miss2missus.com |
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mscountrygirl
True Blue Farmgirl
552 Posts
Michelle
Lucedale
Mississippi
USA
552 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2010 : 07:27:29 AM
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Please let us know the outcome if you care too! I have been praying for you.
It's all good! |
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Faransgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
895 Posts
Beth
Houston
Texas
USA
895 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2010 : 11:40:39 AM
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I have learned in my work managing volunteers that you don't really want a private conversation if there is a problem. You need to have a semi-private conversation with her. Have someone that is in a higher position than either of you sit in on the conversation so that she can not turn around later and say you said things you didn't say. Also, you should not be defensive. She is the one that said something she shouldn't have. If she didn't want it repeated she should not have said it. She is the one that needs to own up and apologize to the manager. She is angry with you because she is wrong. I think the others are right about having a conversation but she is the one that is wrong, not you. If you back down it will look like you were lying to the manager. You will loose that persons respect. I really urge you not to do it one on one. You need "someone" there as a witness to what is said. Also, never, ever, put anything in writing. Like someone else said "once in writing it is always in writing". If she says something to you in front of others then your response should be "Excuse me let's take this into the managers (or boss or whoever) office and immediately go find the manager (whoever). If that is not possible. Walk away, do not listen to her.
Farmgirl Sister 572
May the force of the horse be with you. |
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Miss2Missus
True Blue Farmgirl
407 Posts
Karen
Asheville
NC
USA
407 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2010 : 2:32:47 PM
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thanks everyone. i wrote her back explaining that i understood why she was upset but that she could either chose to be mad or to put it behind us. i only have a month left before i move out of state so i think until then it's just gonna be a little awkward at work until then. i am glad though that her and i did kinda work it out a bit to the best that it could be instead of just ignoring it.
Karen ^_^
www.miss2missus.com |
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Across the Fence: My big mouth got me into trouble : \ |
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My big mouth got me into trouble : \
