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Family Matters:  What to do...what to do...  |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 08 2010 : 6:28:46 PM
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My goodness, but Tori has gotten so bad this passed week.
Her tantrums are getting entirely out of control. I don't know if its the anticipation we all are teetering on waiting for the baby to come or if she's got cabin fever from the snow or what but holy cow!!
She's always had a temper so stomping her foot or saying no has pretty much been something she has always done. It just adds to her punishment, but anyways...
She's starting, hitting, pinching, spitting, sticking her tongue out, and anytime we tell her to get in time out, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs..not screaming anything and not a tear in her eye, just screaming.
Now is MOST DEFINITELY NOT a good time for her to START doing this sort of thing. I am pretty well on top of both the children and am working around the physical limitations, but boy oh boy, some days I'm wondering where my daughter when and who is this little monster that took her place.
Bedtimes are the most wicked, especially since there is more than just her to do the routine with. She ends up waking up my son and its almost like she find a victory in it.ugh!
Anyone else have this problem?
hugs
Jess
"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go." ~Abraham Lincoln
www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2010 : 7:15:21 PM
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Oh Jessie, I am so sorry you are going through this! I will be praying for you and that your daughter will change her attitude. Where as I don't have any children, I do know some mom's who have children like this and are going through the same thing you are. They are at there whits end and have no idea what to do next. I hope someone else will be able to help you out more than I did. :)
Hugs,
Channah
If you can dream it, and if you are willing to put forth the work and effort, you can have anything you envision. |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2010 : 7:27:53 PM
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Thanks for promising to pray, Maggie. That maybe the only thing that really will help. When I was growing up, this kind of behavior wouldn't have been tolerated in the least, but then again I don't ever remember it even crossing my mind as a kid to act this way.
I am fervently hoping that she is just acting out as the anticipation for the new babys arrival is getting closer. I really just don't know though.
Thank you again for promising to pray!!
hugs,
Jess
"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go." ~Abraham Lincoln
www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2010 : 08:54:57 AM
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My aunt had a cute for a spitting child (my cousin at age 3) She had to stand at the sink and spit for 10 minutes, by the end of that time she had no spit to spit and her mouth was sore. Little bugger never spit again and to this day at age 40, she won't spit. Just remember wo is the boss and if you don't get controlof her now just wait until she is a teenager.
Kathy |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2010 : 09:00:23 AM
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It is sounds like jealousy towards the new one, and a light smack to the behind might help more than a time out at this stage. Have you point blank asked her "WHY" she is acting this way? you might be surprised at her answer, just don't ask during a temper tantrum, but, instead way before or after.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2010 : 09:28:18 AM
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Wow! that is just awful!...I don't have children, but maybe if you could get a sitter for your little boy and spend some quality time with Tori...kind of sounds like a mixture of insecurity and jealousy? maybe?
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
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Faransgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
895 Posts
Beth
Houston
Texas
USA
895 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2010 : 6:29:26 PM
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I had one that did similar things. Unless it is emotional which i doesn't sound like it is it is insecurity and looking for attention. With my oldest I would try to do something with just her every day and when the tantrums started she got put in her room by herself until she was quiet. We did a sweep through the room to make sure there was nothing she could hurt herself with. She got over it fairly soon. I had a friend who had a daughter that would wipe poop on the walls. The doc she saw said to take all her toys leave her in there and no toys came back until she cleaned up after herself. Thank goodness mine never did that. We were just told not to give her attention for negative behaviour. Negative behaviour brought alone time and positive behaviour brought time with Mom or Dad. Something to think about.
Farmgirl Sister 572
May the force of the horse be with you. |
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knittingmom
True Blue Farmgirl
665 Posts
AnneMarie
Edmonton
Alberta
Canada
665 Posts |
Posted - Jan 09 2010 : 6:46:32 PM
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I hear you. There are lots of changes going on in your house and she's worried about maybe being a bit displaced by new baby and this is how she's communicating it. Doesn't help when the weather isn't nice either because there's the usual winter cabin fever to deal with. Do you have somebody close to you who could take her out for some little one on one time (to the indoor playground, library, just an outing). It might help.
When they're small they know they're mad about something but they don't communicate it very well.
"There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world" |
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peapicker
True Blue Farmgirl
716 Posts
texas
USA
716 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 06:21:02 AM
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Oh, Jessie I feel for you. I remember the days well. I never had that much of a problem with mine. I'm not sure if it was because I did spank (I know with the super nanny shows this is not popular anymore), and it was probably because I did instill some fear in them. It was a good kind of fear. I did not abuse, but I did immediatley take care of a problem. I remember growing up and my dad could use "that" tone of voice or "that" look and we knew it was the end of the line and we had better straighten up. Ok, so much for the to spank or not to spank. The best solution we found for an extremely stubborn child is in the food department. One of my granddaughters was a little pill when she was five years old. We tried everything (time outs, spankings, going to her room for long periods of time, etc.) Nothing worked for months. It was to the point that she was dangerous to whoever was in the house. Our solution was so simple. Everytime she really misbehaved her next meal was a peanut butter sandwich and no treats. She thought that was great at first, because she liked peanut butter, but after a couple of weeks it got real old. Its actually nutritous if there are no allergies to it. I forgot to ask how old your daughter is? They need to be old enough to comprehend. She did miss out on her sisters birthday cake and some special family dinners until she decided that was not fun anymore. This may sound harsh to some , but when you have a child out of control it can destroy the whole family after a while including them. I think its easier to correct the problem at 5 instead of 18. Just my 2 cents. Praying you can solve the problem soon.
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
Robert Brault |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jan 10 2010 : 06:41:44 AM
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Oh Jessie that is really hard!
If that was Nora I would say she is having an allergic reaction to something. Nora and I share something that is, for lack of a better term, being call Cerebral Allergies. It's where your body reacts to certain things like foods not with a normal allergic reaction but with an emotional/behavioral response- usually rage.
Have you introduced a new food lately? I could even be te same type of food (ie peanut butter) but from a different manufacturer?
My big triggers as a kid that Nora shares are food preservatives, food dye etc.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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Family Matters: What to do...what to do... |
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What to do...what to do...
