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Across the Fence:  Giggle for the day...rules  |
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deeredawn
True Blue Farmgirl
2306 Posts
Dawn
Cordova
TN
USA
2306 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 15 2009 : 07:25:42 AM
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Thisis from my Dad who is a true Southern man. I think this could be applied to whereever you live but I thought it was cute enough to send along!!!
> > THE
> > RULES OF RURAL OHIO
> > ARE
> > AS FOLLOWS
> >
> >
> > Listen up City Slickers
> > 1. Pull your droopy
> > pants up. You look like an idiot.
> >
> > 2. Turn your cap
> > right, your head isn't
> > crooked..
> >
> > 3. Let's get
> > this straight ; it's called a "dirt road." I
> > drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow
> > you drive, you're going to get dust on your
> > Lexus. Drive it or get
> > out of the way.
> >
> > 4. They are cattle.
> > They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to
> > you. But they smell like money to
> > us. Get over it. Don't
> > like it? I-70 goes east and west, I-71 goes north and south.
> > Pick one.
> >
> > 5. So you have a
> > $60,000 car. We're
> > impressed. We have $150,000 corn
> > pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
> >
> > 6. So every person
> > in rural Ohio waves. It's called being
> > friendly. Try to understand
> > the concept.
> >
> > 7. If that cell
> > phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in,
> > we WILL shoot it out of your
> > hand. You better hope you
> > don't have it up to your ear at the time.
> >
> > 8. Yeah, we eat
> > taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want
> > sushi &
> > caviar? It's available at
> > Jim's bait shop.
> >
> > 9. The
> > "Opener" refers to the first day of deer
> > season. It's a religious
> > holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
> >
> > 10. We open doors
> > for women. That is applied to
> > all women regardless of age.
> >
> > 11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order
> > steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2
> pounds of ham & turkey.
> >
> > 12. When we fill
> > out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables,
> > and breads. We use three spices:salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah...We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff
> > you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
> >
> >
> > 13. You bring
> > "coke" into my house,
> > it better be brown, wet
> > and served over ice.
> >
> > 14. You bring
> > "Mary Jane" into my
> > house, she better be cute, kn ow
> > how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
> >
> >
> > 15. College and
> > High School Football is as important here as the Cavs and
> > the
> > Knicks, and more fun to watch.
> >
> >
> > 16. Yeah, we have
> > golf courses.. But don't hit the
> > water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
> >
> >
> > 17. Colleges? We
> > have them all over. We have State Universities , Community
> > Colleges, and
> > Vo-techs. They come outta there
> > with an education plus a love for God and country, and they
> > still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.
> >
> >
> > 18. We have a whole
> > ton of folks in the Army, Navy,
> > Air Force, and M arines. So don't mess with
> > us. If you do, you will get
> > whipped by the best.
> >
> > 19. Turn down that
> > blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap
> > ain't
> > music,
> > anyway. We don't want to hear
> > it anymore than we want to see your
> > boxers. Refer back to #1.
> >
> >
> > 20. 4 inches
> > of
> > snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive
> > like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our
> > bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This
> > ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole
> > day without
> > croissants. The pickups with snow
> > blades will have you out the next day.
> >
> >
> > A true BUCKEYE will send this on!!!
Dawn #279
MJ's Heirloom Mavens-QMD
~I'd rather be on my farm than Emperor of the World~George Washington |
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Autumn Leaves
True Blue Farmgirl
463 Posts
Jennifer
Northern
California
USA
463 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2009 : 08:53:34 AM
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Very cute Dawn...I got this as an email not too long ago except like you said it was titled differently. I believe they were "Redneck Rules". The men in my family are proud to belong to this group and advertise it whenever they can :)
Warm Wishes
Jennifer
Never let yesterday use up too much of today - Will Rogers
http://jenscountrylife.blogspot.com |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2009 : 09:26:09 AM
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My baby brother sent me this e-mail a year or so ago, from Missouri, I liked it them, and still like it now.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2009 : 09:36:09 AM
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Dawn-
I LOVE this! Made me smile the whole time I was reading- I will share it with my family! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22942 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22942 Posts |
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magnoliakathy
True Blue Farmgirl
453 Posts
Kathryn
Magnolia
Texas
USA
453 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2009 : 4:21:58 PM
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I will be printing this and taking it to work tomorrow to share with my friends. I know we will all be picking our favorite on and laughing. BTY, I work for MISD and it is not unusual for a student to arrive late with this excuse, " My horse/cow/pig/goat/etc got out and I had to catch it and missed the bus, so my mom had to come back home and bring me to school."
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2009 : 5:23:40 PM
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I never saw it before but I really did enjoy reading it. I totally agree with it also.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2009 : 03:26:46 AM
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HA HAA
I like #12
Yes, we know it's not "real" chili but most of us think it's still mighty fine! |
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Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl
2701 Posts
Marcy
Tiverton
Rhode Island
USA
2701 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2009 : 05:58:49 AM
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I love it. Now that is a real man! Thanks for sharing this.
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/ |
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Across the Fence: Giggle for the day...rules |
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Giggle for the day...rules
