| Author |
Family Matters:  A different take on the holidays  |
|
|
magnoliakathy
True Blue Farmgirl
453 Posts
Kathryn
Magnolia
Texas
USA
453 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 11:15:34 AM
|
How many of you are tired of trying to get his family, your family, and the extended family together for the upcoming holidays? Your married kids can't come because they have to go to their spouse's family gatherings this year. Your favorite sibling has to go to another family member's house, and so on. You are just plain tired of trying to do 2 major holidays in 30 days?
Years ago I worked rotating shift work and holidays were so hard, I got Christmas Day off every 4th year. I asked my family if we could do Thanksgiving and Christmas a week or two early so I could see every one, everyone came to my house for both. We did this for a number of years. Finally my sister volunteered to do one of the holidays but we kept it in the same time frame. One year she was sick and we moved family Christmas to January and kept it there. A couple of years later I moved family Thanksgiving to October. Now we have it spread out over 4 months less stress, every one gets to be with our family for a big celebration and then be at home on the actual day or do whatever they want
Before my son married, his fiance told me she had to spend every Christmas day at her mother's, I said fine, we do Christmas in January. She thinks it's great.
How many other farmgirls do this??
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
|
|
AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 12:03:38 PM
|
When I married I moved two hundred miles from the city. Because Thanksgiving is always a long weekend, we celebrated Christmas with presents after Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house and we were home at Christmas.
We also have the Monday after Thanksgiving here because it's the high holy day of "First Day of Buck Season", so it allows for plenty of visiting time. |
 |
|
|
CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 12:25:34 PM
|
It can be hard to plan on holidays. Now we have the problem with my daughter working alot of holidays because she is a nurse. Right now she is working Thur- Sat the overnight shift 12 hours each night. She is going to school to finish up her RN degree.
Also as with a lot families there is the 2 family bit because of divorce. So what we do is celebrate when my daughter isn't working and not really pay such close attention to whether or not it is the actual day or even the same week. Being relaxed about the actual day to celebrate makes things alot easier on everybody I think.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
|
|
|
Linda Houston
True Blue Farmgirl
538 Posts
Linda
Lake Charles
Louisiana
USA
538 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 12:55:17 PM
|
When our first daughter got married, her husband's family were very demanding of their time at holidays, so we told her not to worry about it---do what she needed and we would work around their schedule. We told her that we saw she and her family all the time (as did the other family) so we could easily share....As the in-lawsw and outlaws grew, my Mother began having us gather on the week-end before Christmas at her home and then we would walk across the field to my home for a celebration and opening of the kids gift.
This was 25 years ago, and today it is still the same. One son in South Carolina, a dauther 1 hour away and a second one about 45 minutes away---We celebrate whenever and without fuss, I find that the 2 local girls, do all the planning and get here without pressure and fuss. We also have to figure in 9 grand children and their desire.
As a family, we travel for one of the holidays to South Carolina---some years we all go and some years we don't. We have tried to be very casual about the whole thing because I cannot bear to see my grown children, try to please everyone and be stressed out and not enjoy their own celebration. Also, I do not like command performances....I would rather them follow their hearts and know that we will be here when and if they come...They ALWAYS make their way here. |
|
|
|
chaddsgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
843 Posts
Sarah
Farmgirl Sisterhood #639
MO
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 1:37:45 PM
|
You are all wonderful ladies!! Holidays can turn into such a nightmare when splitting between families. My DH and I were on a treadmill of driving an hour away for Christmas Eve day to spend with my mom and dad, then back home to attend Midnight Mass with his family and snacks and visiting afterward. Then the next day travelling 2 hours to my Grandmother's house for family gathering, then back home for Christmas with DH's family in the evening. By the time it was over I felt sick from all the dinners and exhausted from all the travelling.
In the last two years we have travelled to Grandma's for Thanksgiving, but not made the return trip for Christmas. We still go see my parents on Christmas Eve, but Christmas morning and Christmas Day are much better not having to spend 4 hours driving back and forth. We just stay put and enjoy Christmas morning at our house. Anyone who wants to come is welcome, that's where we will be.
A person is a success if they get up in the morning and get to bed at night and in between does what they want to do. Bob Dylan |
|
|
|
1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Sep 30 2009 : 5:37:02 PM
|
My husbands Parents and sometimes brothers always came to us in California, from Nebraska cause we were the only ones who had children. When they could no longer travel, we went and visited a couple of times a year til his Mom passed, and then a couple of years later his Dad moved close to us, and then finally with us til he passed. My parents would split Christmas between us 5 kids who all married and had kids of our own, all my sisters and brothers lived in Missouri except me and mine, also they would come out during the spring and fall and visit for a week or two til they no longer traveled.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
|
|
|
City Chick
True Blue Farmgirl
1402 Posts
Deb
Chattanooga
TN
USA
1402 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2009 : 04:38:01 AM
|
We do Christmas in January with my husbands family because it's such a big gathering of people. Works out well for everyone! We get to spend Christmas Eve with my family - a much smaller gathering.
It really does reduce the stress.
http://www.xanga.com/My_Pondering_Place |
|
|
|
Brenda Kay Groth
True Blue Farmgirl
100 Posts
Brenda
Manton
MIch
USA
100 Posts |
Posted - Oct 01 2009 : 07:39:05 AM
|
the older i get the more relaxed i get about the holidays..(i'm 58)...we KNOW we will see family members sometime during the time before or after so we just don't sweat it..
we make sure we have snacks available and a meal to grab if people come at a mealtime..and gifts arranged for everyone we might see..and then we just relax and enjoy and don't make any defininate plans except for my elderly mother's
bloom where you are planted |
|
|
|
emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2009 : 10:04:42 AM
|
I have told my grown kids... As long as you are not married... you are mine on Christmas morning until noon. =0)
Once you are married, and especially with grandbabies, we will either
1) plan a day other than Christmas day to get together as a family as I strongly feel little kids need christmas in their own house
2) We will come visit you!
I don't want there to be stress and worry over who has to go where when. I want my kids to feel like they can have their own special family Christmas mornings/days without the extra committment from this side of the marital union! Of course, we haven't got there yet... but its my plan and I am sticking to it!
Do what you love, love what you do. |
|
|
|
Calico Countess
Farmgirl in Training
16 Posts
Christie
Bow Island
Alberta
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - Oct 02 2009 : 8:36:31 PM
|
Some of us celebrate Thanksgiving in October anyhow, so this isn't a problem. *grins* However, having both my family and my husband's close, things can be a bit dicey for sharing the holidays. My side isn't too bad yet...my kids are younger (6 and 7), my sister doesn't yet have kids so the logistics aren't as daunting as my husband's side. He has two older sisters, both with grown kids and some of them have kids. I have told his older sister this year (and every year we have a family event) that if she can't make it, I understand as she has her own kids, grandbabies, etc. My MIL still gets rather upset though, that the whole family (and that would be nearly 30 of us) can't be together every holiday.
One thing we've done to help spread ourselves around is switch holidays, mostly Christmas. We'll spend Christmas eve with my side one year and Christmas day (dinner) with hubby's and then flip. Thanksgiving and Easter aren't too much of an issue as we always celebrate on the Sunday in my family and his usually goes with either the Monday or Good Friday.
All in all, I think it's more important that you get together, have a good time and enjoy each other's company whenever you can, not just on specific dates because the greeting card people have got us snookered into thinking you *must* celebrate these holidays with family. It's also more important to spend your time with the people you love than slaving over a hot stove and fussing over table arrangements.
"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful" ~ Mae West |
|
|
| |
Family Matters: A different take on the holidays |
|
A different take on the holidays
