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Parenting & Farm Kids:  breastfeeding woes  |
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HeatherAnn
True Blue Farmgirl
187 Posts
Heather
Rancho Cucamonga
CA
USA
187 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 09 2009 : 5:14:00 PM
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so I dunno if this is here somewhere else, or what. But. Breastfeeding can be so hard! I breastfed my little girl till her first birthday. It was super hard like the first week, I was bleeding. It was not cool. But it got better. We had one really bad night at about 6 weeks, but we moved on.
Now, with my second, I was in the hospital a few weeks ago with kidney stones for three days. My little one is 10 weeks and when I was in the hospital I pumped. But now my milk supply has gone down and he gets so mad and so hungry that instead of nursing to get the supply back up he just cries and cries, so I give him formula for half his feedings.
and I know there is a lot of options I have to get my supply up, but I'm so extremely sad. ugh. I'm so dissapointed. I've been crying a lot. It just makes me so unbelievably sad. and then I feel so silly because he's doing fine on formula. and my husband totally doesn't get what the big deal is. I guess i feel like a failure, i dunno.
anyone else have such a terrible time? am I crazy for being so terribly upset? is it dumb to keep trying everything? should I just feed him formula and be done with it? kidney stones are easier to deal with than my milk supply going down, I'm telling you...
Heather Ann
Apartment Farmgirl
"You got to look at all the good on one side and all the bad on the other and say 'Well, alright then.'" - Aunt Eller, Oklahoma
www.plumblossomknits.etsy.com |
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kmbrown
True Blue Farmgirl
459 Posts
Misty
Waynesboro
Pennsylvania
USA
459 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2009 : 5:36:28 PM
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You should really try some Fenugreek and some Marshmallow. They will both be available at a health food store and they will really help. Also drink LOTS of water and try, try, try to not be so upset. I know it's terribly hard sometimes with infants but when your body is tired and stressed it can dry your milk right up. Try to rest when your babies rest and really....remember this to shall pass.
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2009 : 6:05:59 PM
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Aww Heather I am sorry you are feeling so sad about the whole thing.
One of my favorite sayings here recently is "do your best, and leave the rest."
I tried so hard with my first baby to nurse and it was terribly painful. By the time I got the hang of it, my milk had dried up, I was constantly in tears and just plain gave up.
With baby #2, I had plenty of milk, but by 6 weeks he had colic because nursing wasn't working like I'd hoped and I had to quit nursing him too. So they both ended up bottle fed.
I felt like such a failure and just miserable. I couldnt figure out why it was that it seemed to work out for everyone else, but not for me.
Its never dumb to try as best you can. You have to feel that you did the best you could! I am praying results will be what is best for your littl one! :)
Thankfully, no matter how things work out, or what we do, or whether breastfeeding works for us or not, our babies still love us and the most important thing, is that they know we love their little selves right back!
hugs!!
Jessie
People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
www.messiejessie2.blogspot.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2009 : 6:40:42 PM
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Oh Heather!
First of all- BIG HUGS! I know how hard that can be! That is such a hard spot to be in! I think you need to make the decision that makes you most comfortable. If you are upset giving him forumla- then I think the work to get your milk supply up is worth it.
When I felt my milk supply dwindle (Nora wasn't always the greatest at getting the most from feedings) I would have her nurse on one side exclusively for the whole feeding, and I would set my pump to maximum strength and pump on the other side while she nursed. The gave me the benefit of the let-down response that Nora triggered and since I was already sitting down for a while anyway, it worked to pump.
Also anytime she was fed a bottle from my frozen breast milk supply, I pumped for 30 minutes. I also pumped after each feeding to make sure I got everything out.
Nora also slept through the night- completely, so I would wake up overly full and sometimes with wet sheets, so I would sometimes wake up and hour or so before her and pump. It was a lot of pumping, but it really did help. She self weaned herself at about 10 months and that worked out to be just about right for us.
Next time we have a baby I am going to pump like a maniac the second my milk comes in and keep pumping until I have a good 6 months supply in the freezer- that way if anything medical comes up or just anything at all, then I will have a backup supply.
So sorry you are going through this! I can sympathize!
Oh and if you do decide to increase your milk supply and the herbs aren't quite helping enough, then talk to your doctor. They do have some medicines that can really help you. Also the La Leche League might have some more suggestions.
But overall just remember that as long as he is getting fed either breastmilk or appropriate formula he will grow and thrive. Either decision is great as long as your baby stays healthy. The important thing is to make the decision that feels best for you and your family. *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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HeatherAnn
True Blue Farmgirl
187 Posts
Heather
Rancho Cucamonga
CA
USA
187 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2009 : 7:02:12 PM
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thanks girls! I'm looking into my options still, and I'm hopeful. It's just the worst today I think because he is not a patient sort and one of the loudest screamers I've ever heard. So I offer him the breast and sometimes he wails just as loudly as he can cause he's tired and tired of trying. So after he filled up on his bottle, I had him use me as a pacifier, which worked pretty good! and it totally doesn't help that he can sleep about 10 hours a night, even thoug he's only 10 weeks. it's a blessing, cause we get loads of sleep around here, but not good for this.
so through all my hardships of the last couple months, I've been repeating to myself, "the joy of the Lord is my strength" and it truly is. sometimes it's a struggle, but I'm able to smile some and laugh with my babies and my husband some and enjoy things. it's just hard.
Heather Ann
Apartment Farmgirl
"You got to look at all the good on one side and all the bad on the other and say 'Well, alright then.'" - Aunt Eller, Oklahoma
www.plumblossomknits.etsy.com |
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mommatracy
True Blue Farmgirl
490 Posts
Tracy
My. Olive
NC
USA
490 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2009 : 7:27:25 PM
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To: Dear Heather and and Jessie
You tried to breast feed your babies so neither one of you failed. Trying is not failing. You should be proud that you wanted to feed your babies naturally from you. Do what you can and leave the rest by the street. The fact that you honestly want to breast feed says good for you. Which is more than I could ever say in one million years. Especially about our daughter
www.cottagebythebay.blogspot.com |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2009 : 7:44:11 PM
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I had planned to BF my little one and not use formula. I happen to have PCOS and BF'd alone wouldnt cut it. I simply didnt make enough milk. I still BF for 27 months. Its not a crime to supplement. Try pumping more often and see how the supply does.
Eat oatmeal. That helps, fenugreek really helps. There are lactation boosters available in the health food store. Eat enough and drink enough...both to produce milk and pass the stone. If you use anything to help yor milk supply, they often can mess with your blood sugar. Thats why you need to eat well, besides it helps you make milk.
Hugs! |
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Bfly
Farmgirl at Heart
2 Posts
Tina
Seymour
IL
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2009 : 3:17:37 PM
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| I was able to BF both of my littleone's for their first year. I had the cracking, and bleeding.. and even had a bout with thrush. I pumped a lot. which helped with my suppy. My only other suggestion that I haven't seen mentioned is this: If he normally eats every say 2 hours.. while he's sleeping.. pump, this will mean less sleep for you, but should increase your supply. To Echo the others - what REALLY matters is that your baby is healthy and loved - and YOU too!! Gods Blessings! - T |
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HeatherAnn
True Blue Farmgirl
187 Posts
Heather
Rancho Cucamonga
CA
USA
187 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2009 : 3:22:56 PM
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things are looking more hopeful around here. little Jack has a touch of a cold and I think he doesn't like sucking hard which is why he's getting mad when i go to BF him. And he's really only bad in the afternoon, when he's sleepy. But, my supply is actually doing better. and we're getting a pump to night, so if he wants to be on the bottle while he's got his cold, then he can still have breast milk.
I'm not feeling so much like a failure though, even if I end up having to suppliment till he's weaned. Thanks girls.
Heather Ann
Apartment Farmgirl
"You got to look at all the good on one side and all the bad on the other and say 'Well, alright then.'" - Aunt Eller, Oklahoma
www.plumblossomknits.etsy.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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HeatherAnn
True Blue Farmgirl
187 Posts
Heather
Rancho Cucamonga
CA
USA
187 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2009 : 10:08:25 PM
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eeps. had a run in with the mother in law. things are always quite cordial, she's rather judgemental and quick to 'suggest' the 'best' way to do things and i am open to things and strive to always be respectful. we are good. however, she says some hurtful things every now and again. and when we saw her to night she offered some un-helpful advice and no support.
i'm so glad i posted on here. it helped my moral so that in spite of her touch of judgement I was still able to maintain composure and keep the peace. amen to peace. anyways, thanks for thinking of me Alee and for all your encouragement ladies.
Heather Ann
Apartment Farmgirl
"You got to look at all the good on one side and all the bad on the other and say 'Well, alright then.'" - Aunt Eller, Oklahoma
www.plumblossomknits.etsy.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2009 : 11:36:15 PM
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Oh Heather- I just thought of this- I know each woman develops her own technique for Breastfeeding, but I found that sometimes my milk seemed to pool in the lower ducts (the underside) of my breast so I would help Nora out at the end by lifting and adding some pressure. That seemed to help tell my body that "she drained me dry- better make more" so to speak.
Sorry you MIL was unhelpful. It's always hard to deal with that and keep perspective at the same time. Plus I remember my emotions were super high alert when I was BF. I couldn't watch any crime drama TV shows without bawling my eyes out. I am glad posting here helped! *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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midwifee
Farmgirl at Heart
6 Posts
Pamela
Sevierville
TN
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2009 : 7:09:45 PM
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Breast feeding:
Not everyone can breastfeed. SOmetimes its an anatomy thing. Each woman has very different breast/nipples/ tissue. After helping women who want to breastfeed and are having terrible problems. I realized the formulas are made much better today than years back. Herbs can help, shields, pumps, bags with tubes taped to your breast to similate and supliment all are helps.
BUT remember you have a hormone battle too. You are not a failure as a mother just because you've had challenges. You have other things that need to be taken care of as well. Kidney stones are no piece of cake either.
These gals have some great ideas, the best is be good to yourself. Your making do with what you've been handed.
Your hubby thinks it no big deal, cause he probably just moves the calf to another cow. I think we call it a wet nurse. Not so popular these days.
Call a lactation consultant from your LL group or hospital Childbirth Center and bless you!!
coast to coast farmgirl is in the blood |
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mamasunshine
Farmgirl in Training
18 Posts
Stella
Humboldt County
Ca
18 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2009 : 7:27:26 PM
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I am really loving reading all these loving and supportive comments. I'm new to this forum and it is so heartening. Just to add, there is a device called a Lact-Aid that you can use to supplement your baby feedings. You put the breastmilk or formula into the bag and a tube runs down your shoulder and attaches to your breast. Really neat. That way you still get the skin to skin contact (which helps with hormones and making milk) and your nipples are still being stimulated to make more milk. I had a rough time too, I get recurrent mastitis and sometimes breastfeeding is harder than giving birth (in my experience). My son just weaned this summer at 4 and a half! Good Luck and your baby is lucky to have such a caring mama!!!
Juggling children and chickens while trying to find time to laze in the sun. |
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oldfashioned girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2391 Posts
monica
oatman
az
USA
2391 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2009 : 08:35:16 AM
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Heather, Hang in there and give your self a break! You are doing everything you can so you are by no means failing! I nursed all of mine, but with Isaiah, my first I had to put him on formula because he just wasn't getting enough. I tried everything to get my milk to come in better, including having a little bit of beer every so often because a friend told me it worked for her. Something about the hops, I think. I tried it a bit and it seemed to help some, but still not enough. I had to supplement the most part with formula! With my 2 girls, oh my gosh my cup runneth over! I would be at the market and the first peep of a baby, I would start to leak all over!
One thing that may help is to keep focused on the fact that your little one needs nourishment, whether it's from breast or bottle you are able to provide him with the best nourishment you can! Relax and enjoy the quiet cuddle time with him even if you do have to give him formula! As one of the ladies already said all of the stress doesn't help!
I also have to say that 99.99999% of guys won't get it! To most of them it will be " what's the big deal, just give him a bottle"! Just a guy thing! Don't hold it against him or try to make sense of it! grin!!!!!
Monica
farmgirls rule!
www.justducky48.etsy.com
www.justducky48.blogspot.com
www.duckystreasurechest.etsy.com |
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HeatherAnn
True Blue Farmgirl
187 Posts
Heather
Rancho Cucamonga
CA
USA
187 Posts |
Posted - Sep 26 2009 : 09:07:38 AM
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Thanks Monica!
I've come to terms with supplimenting, although we do have some completely breast fed days in here! So we're doing a lot better! And my husband totally doesn't get it. He ends up thinking that I'm so upset because formula costs so much! Please! Money is a big deal, but not THAT big! And I am enjoying my cuddle time, with or without bottles being involved. I didn't get babies at all with my first. She was the first baby I ever held. But with my second, I totally eat it up! I'm all confident that I'm doing what mommies do and I don't let family members completely take over like I did when I was very unsure of myself. I am going to have to have some more of these little bundles of joy. Someone once said they are a 'world of pain', which can be true, but sooo worth it! Nothing beats to smiles and coos of your own little baby just adoring when you touch him or her.
One thing I am reminded of right now though, are these completely wild hormones! It's tough trying to navigate life when I'm so emotional that looking at little everyday things is like looking at my life through a fun house mirror. Some things don't matter a lick and other things are just the biggest emotional rollercoasters. It's ok though, my husband tells me he married me because he knew life would enver be dull, and dull it is not!
I'm chatty right now. :) talk to ya later!
Heather Ann
Apartment Farmgirl
"You got to look at all the good on one side and all the bad on the other and say 'Well, alright then.'" - Aunt Eller, Oklahoma
www.plumblossomknits.etsy.com |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: breastfeeding woes |
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breastfeeding woes
