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Barnyard Buddies:  SO frustrated with my dog!!!  |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 10:56:42 AM
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gosh, i don't even know where to begin....
Shelley, our almost 3 year old black lab, is my first dog ever. my hubby insisted we get a dog even though i was a bit reluctant since i'd never had a dog and didn't know how i'd react. but now even he isn't so sure about her.... i wish he would have done more research on labs!
i feel she's the worst first dog i could have ever had. we had read labs get over the "puppy stage" about 2 years old... but now i've heard it might not be until 5! i don't know if i can wait that long for Shelley to calm down. it seems like she's only getting worse with the whining and begging to play 24 hours a day.
she's not a "friend", she doesn't like to just sit and be pet (unless she's extremely tired). so this irks me.... ALL she wants is to play, play, play! and it seems no matter how much you play with her, it's never enough! and it bugs the heck out of me, every time i go outside she's right there whining and begging with her toy in her mouth to play. when all i want and need to do is hang laundry or what have you. even if i've played with her well earlier that day to try and prevent her from begging me.
i've gotten to the point where i just ignore her, i don't even acknowledge her (which is what you're supposed to do anyway to prevent whining and begging) but it doesn't help. she still does it. other than this, we've trained her very well and she does what we tell her to and everyone thinks she's a great dog. though, she's a "nervous" dog and has always been that way and i worry about that too. she tends to growl at people she doesn't know and at the vet. and i don't like that - i was bitten by a dog once and have fears of her doing the same.
so i've asked my hubby to at least consider giving her away. so maybe that she'll have a better home and life than we're giving her here. we don't play with her nearly as much as we should, which isn't good for her being such an active dog. and i just don't "love" her, i don't feel a connection to her because all she does is get on my nerves and i can't enjoy her because of it. am i a bad person because of this? i also wonder if i'm a dog person at all... though i love everyone else's dogs because they will actually enjoy the attention i give them! while my own dog doesn't!
does anyone have any advice? is giving her up hopefully to a better home an acceptable option? my hubby doesn't want to because he thinks it's "mean" to have had her this long and she knows us as her pack... and i see his point. but i feel she might have a better life with someone who actually knows how to take care of and enjoy an active dog.
i don't think i'll risk getting another dog for fear the same thing could happen, though i'd love to have a dog...
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 11:07:58 AM
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Advice you want----first of all the dog has no structured wear out time. And just playing is not structured time. Long walks with you in the lead--she must walk behind you at a relaxed pace. It sounds like she runs the household with the whining and begging. You guys must be the bosses not her. Dogs who have no structure are the ones that get into trublle--digging, chewing, whining etc because they will never be healthy tired. I find that out with my own dogs if I don't walk them at least an hour a day. A Lab will need a backpack with weights to just take off the edge. I use one on my dog too.
I guess first thing first--you need to be in control--but no yelling, screaming and kicking. Watch how the mother dog treats the young that don't obey. Quickly!! Discipline first then loving. The dog won't 'love' you until you are in control. I hope this makes some sense to you. Labs can be great family dogs. MB
http://www.smallcityscenes.blogspot.com
www.strawberryhillsfarm.blogspot.com
www.day4plus.blogspot.com www.holyhouses-day4plus.blogspot.com
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!" |
Edited by - Marybeth on Aug 02 2009 11:09:23 AM |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 11:26:11 AM
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the thing i don't understand is she obeys everything else... she doesn't dig, chew, jump on things or people, sits and stays and everything else when we tell her to. we read to ignore her whining and begging and we tried it for a long time. but it hasn't seemed to help. so now when she does it, we tell her "no begging" and she will go lay down right away.
we don't walk her as often as we should. usually to wear her out we play with her vigorously by throwing her toys as long as it takes till she is dead tired. i've heard about using weights.... it probably helps alot.
i'm just so frustrated i don't even want to deal with it anymore. i feel like i'm going to have to start all over with her training. i just don't know if i'm up for it at all.... because i will be the one doing it all the time, not my hubby. and he's the one that wanted the dog in the first place! so if he's not willing to set aside time in his day to help me, i don't know if i'm up for it... as bad as it sounds, it's how i feel.
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 11:32:35 AM
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She sounds bored! This is probably the LAST piece of advice you will want to hear but I would suggest getting ANOTHER dog or even a kitten that can be her companion. Every dog I ever had that was alone was hyper! Every dog I ever had that had other dogs or other animals was always much calmer. Our three dogs will go in the yard and "wrestle" with eachother for hours!
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
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Edited by - willowtreecreek on Aug 02 2009 11:33:40 AM |
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GrammyGoose
True Blue Farmgirl
163 Posts
Sue
Liverpool
PA
USA
163 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 11:34:26 AM
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Good advice, Marybeth! Dogs are pack animals and need a leader. Right now, she thinks she is the alpha dog. That's your job, or your husband's job. Do you ever get down on the floor at her level and play with her? I had a Springer Spaniel who was very arrogant and not all that lovable until I took the time to put myself on his level, show him who was boss and earn his respect. Exercise is really important to a dog of any age, but especially a younger dog who is full of energy. Teach her to help you with chores, like picking up sticks in the yard. Dogs thrive on doing jobs and being rewarded with a kind word or a treat.
Julie, I agree that a companion could be the answer. That has certainly been a godsend for my Jack Russell Terrier. He is so much better with a buddy.
I hope you find a solution. You and your dog both deserve a good loving relationship that makes you both happy.
Sue
Farmgirl #656
"This is the day that God made, let us drink juice and enjoy it!" - Reece Stutts, age 3 |
Edited by - GrammyGoose on Aug 02 2009 11:37:30 AM |
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AmyEllen
True Blue Farmgirl
235 Posts
Amy
McPherson
Kansas
USA
235 Posts |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 12:58:52 PM
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good news, marybeth! i decided to try some of your advice and taught shelley to walk behind me a more on the leash rather than beside me. i was surprised to find she did very well on her first try (could be because she is more calm when it's hot outside.... but i let her have many breaks to get a drink and cool off).
today was a good training day... she has some bad one's, too. just like a kid, she wants to have it her way sometimes and i just throw my hands up in the air and give up. but today was good... she is now napping on the cold hardwood floor, a nice break for me!
we have contemplated getting her a companion... we have a cat, but he stays indoors so shelley doesn't have a companion during most of the day. i'll talk to the hubby, give him some of the input i've learned from you gals, and see what he thinks! thanks again!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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GrammyGoose
True Blue Farmgirl
163 Posts
Sue
Liverpool
PA
USA
163 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 2:38:10 PM
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Elizabeth, I think I have something figured out. Shelley found out about your plans for the rooster and she thinks she's next!
Sue
Farmgirl #656
"This is the day that God made, let us drink juice and enjoy it!" - Reece Stutts, age 3 |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 3:06:00 PM
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oh no! i hope not! no wonder she was being so good for me today.... lol
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2009 : 5:41:44 PM
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If you are both gone all day, and she is alone in the back yard by herself all the time, no wonder she is hyper and whinny and is begging for your attention, and like a child they will do what ever to get it, even if its wrong, cause they are getting your attention. First off , dogs are pack animals, they do not do well being by themselves, at the least they should have another dog to play with, I would suggest an adult from your local shelter or rescue, not a puppy or kitten, she would be too rough, and you would not be there to intervene. Also, obediance training, go to a class together, you , your hubby and the dog. labs naturaly are a very active breed, they are a hunting dog, they need a job to do, and no, it does not need to be retieving, they all all sorts of fun you can have, agility, dock dogs, search and find, etc. If none of this apeals to you, and you, your hubby and the dog are not happy, then yes, do all of you a favor, and find a good home for her.
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2009 : 12:01:18 AM
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Another thing Elizabeth, there is a difference between exercise and play. A dog can play all day and seem bone tired but still hasn't had any exercise. A Lab is a working dog and needs a job and going for a hard walk carrying a pack could be her job. And that would be her exercise and then it is play time. Two animals are a handful and yes dogs are pack animals but you, the dog and your hubby are her pack. I have 2 dogs and would rather have one so be careful about that advice. Good luck. MB
http://www.smallcityscenes.blogspot.com
www.strawberryhillsfarm.blogspot.com
www.day4plus.blogspot.com www.holyhouses-day4plus.blogspot.com
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!" |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2009 : 9:02:13 PM
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well, i did some more training today, walking shelley around the yard on her leash, teaching her to walk behind me. (i don't like taking her for walks around town because i have a fear of dogs.... and i know there are many dogs who aren't always in their yards and will come running at you. i truly have this fear because i was bit by a dog once.) i actually think she does enjoy being on the leash.
what i'll do is walk her for awhile until i feel she's doing very well. then i'll get her toy, carry it with me while she's on the leash so she calms down and will listen to me and forget that i have the toy in my hand. then i throw it and keep walking so she'll know not to pay attention to the toy and listen to my commands. then after she's done well and is calm, i'll let her off the leash and let her run to go get her toy on the other side of the yard. this wears her out fairly well. she did really well until my hubby came outside. then she got all excited and i got flustered and had to regain my "leader attitude". this took a bit, but i suppose it was good practice for her and i to run into an unexpected situation. we'll have to keep practicing so she knows to focus on me.
but i have a feeling, like you gals said, when she has to actually focus on something and has a job, she wears out better. she is passed out on the floor right now, very content, ready for bedtime!
so maybe i'm on to something, thanks to all of your support and advice! thanks again!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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prairie_princess
True Blue Farmgirl
613 Posts
Elizabeth
Carpenter
WY
USA
613 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2009 : 6:56:37 PM
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well, today i'm all about posting pictures on here (it's fun now that i've figured it out!). so i thought i'd post some pics of my "frustrating" dog.... actually, i think she's very pretty, and very photogenic!
"Only two things that money can't buy, that's true love and homegrown tomatoes."
- Guy Clark
"The man who has planted a garden feels he has done something for the good of the world."
- Charles Dudley Warner |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2009 : 7:58:37 PM
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Beautiful dog!I love her eyes--it's like she's saying "Well, I've worked hard and now I can rest! I'm so glad that you decided to work on her training, you've definitely made her happier. Oh, and the scenery is gorgeous! You're a good photographer.
cindy
"Dog is my co-pilot"
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4745 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4745 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2009 : 8:14:56 PM
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Beautiful dog, gorgeous scenery! Thanks for the pictures! Good luck on settling your pooch down!
Dawn in IL |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
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Barnyard Buddies: SO frustrated with my dog!!! |
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SO frustrated with my dog!!!
