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Across the Fence:  new in the family and dont want to cause problems.  |
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Claude09647
True Blue Farmgirl
761 Posts
Claudia
Our Dairy Farm
Pennsylvania
USA
761 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 26 2009 : 5:51:20 PM
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ok, well this is an issue thats been bothering me a bit lately. For anyone that has read some of my posts or my blog, ya'll know my bf and i will be getting a house soon. I am so excited to get it, but heres the issue i'm having. His parents bought him the house when he was 15...(He's an only child and is SPOILED) i guess in order to help with the expenses and a his mothers brother was in need of a place to live with his family, so they agreeded he could live in the house to pay rent. Well, the bf and i are serious now and he had said something to his mom about wanting to live in the house now. To be nice she is giving the family about a year to find another place to live. BUT... heres the problem i'm having... I am the new one to the family and i feel that i will get blamed for the family having to move out. It was a joint decision between my bf, his parents and I, for us to move into the house. So, i guess it was not all my idea in the first place. I just dont want to get blamed that they have to move just because we want to live in the house. It was his in the first place... Right???
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
http://claude09647.blogspot.com/ |
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Woodswoman
True Blue Farmgirl
512 Posts
Jennifer
Altamont
NY
USA
512 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2009 : 6:16:38 PM
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Hi there-
Here is my two cents:
If the family in the house knew that it belonged to your bf, and that at some point he would probably want to live in it, I don't see the problem. When a landlord needs to terminate a lease, a year is sufficient notice. Is it realistic that the family would be able to find a place of there own? It seems like in today's real estate market, something would be available.
As far as whose decision it was, the house belongs to your bf, paid for by his parents. No one should be blaming you!
Again, I don't know all the people involved, but that would be my opinion based on the information.
Take care!
Jennifer
Farmgirl Sister #104
"Nature brings to every time and season some beauties of its own".
-Charles Dickens |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2009 : 6:41:25 PM
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Claudia,
I agree with Jennifer. It appears that it was never mentioned that it would be a permanent place for them to live. I am guessing that they have lived there for about 6 years or more? I think that one year's time is PLENTY for them to find a place. They must have known that as Roy got older he would one day want to move in permanently. Don't read into things too much. I know it's easier said than done :) I tend to do that too but I also find that I get worried over nothing because my mind runs away with things :)
It is a decision that Roy AND his mom made, no one should blame you for anything :)
I say, be excited that you and your honey will have the place soon and try not to worry about his family. Enjoy this time planning and gathering ideas for fixing up or decorating to your tastes 
~Sharon
By His Grace, For His Glory
http://merryheartjournal.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - Calicogirl on Jul 26 2009 6:41:50 PM |
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Ga Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2355 Posts
Karen
Meansville
Ga.
USA
2355 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 06:37:39 AM
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I agree with the other girls, there should be no reason for blame being made to you. Its your bfs house in the first place! One year is plenty of time to say the least. Blessings,Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10
www.KKJD1.etsy.com |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 07:15:32 AM
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My advice - find somewhere else to live! My husband and I live in the house that was left to him by his Grandmother. However her will deeded it to his parents until he turned 21 but for some reason the transfer into his name never happend. It has been a pain to say the least. I am thankful for the house and lack of rent but I am CONSTANTLY reminded that I am living in "her house". DH doesnt really help out eaither. Makes excuses etc. (By the way my husband is only child and SPOILED too!)
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 07:36:12 AM
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Could it be that Mom is giving them a year to find a new place in order to see if your relationship will hold up that much longer? Thinking that it would an easier break up if you aren't living in his house. Just something to consider. Watch out for the mother of an only son (spoiled)....I am married to one and it hasn't been easy.
kathy |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 07:41:10 AM
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It's the BF house. Not your's, So why would they blame you? Plus they must of knowen this day will come. Just be nice and I'm sure everything will work out well. If you do get married get a will that will leave the house to you.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 12:03:46 PM
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BTW - let me clarify from above that it is my MIL that reminds me I am in "her house" not my DH. Also - if we had had to pay rent there were a few years I am not sure we could have made ends me so I am thankful. Now its home and a move seems pointless but if I were able to go back and do it all again and kew everything would be okay I would have paid rent to live somewhere else!
Farmgirl Sister #17
Blog
www.willowtreecreek.wordpress.com
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 2:42:34 PM
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I agree with the other girls here. Except I think truthfully a year's notice is ridiculous! No landlord would ever have to give that much notice. The house belongs to your bf. They knew this when they moved in. So why the year to find someplace? I am a landlord myself and I can tell you that is way overboard most people get a months notice. Wonder what's up with that?
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 3:52:43 PM
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Don't borrow trouble. And try not to read too much into something that may turn out to be just fine. You'll worry yourself to death unnecessarily and the stress is just not worth it. A year is a gracious long time for someone to relocate. I don't know the background but I don't see how this could be a problem.
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
www.perfectlittlemiracle.blogspot.com
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AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2009 : 11:34:34 PM
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Claudia, this is a situation which has nothing to do with you personally. You did not create it.
The house belongs to your boyfriend only if his is the only name on the deed NOW.
I have lived through a family property situation myself.
After twenty two years of putting time and money in a house promised to my husband before we married, we found ourselves evicted and buying our first home in our fifties.
We invested in family, and it was a big mistake. Protect yourself. Your paycheck is yours until you are married. Don't spend it on the house now.
Rosemary
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Across the Fence: new in the family and dont want to cause problems. |
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new in the family and dont want to cause problems.
