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 speeding ticket
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl

2313 Posts

lori
Fort Atkinson Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts

Posted - Jun 22 2009 :  1:28:33 PM  Show Profile
my daughter who just graduated got a speeding ticket this weekend- $160! I think she should lose the right to drive, but her dad doesn't think so.
I think she should also do some community service-
We haven't had to go thru this before- I think that a little harsher consquence would teach a stronger lesson.
Has anyone else have to go thru this dilema?
thanks for the insight!
xoxo-Lori

Thank GOD I'm a Country Girl!

CherryMeDarlin
True Blue Farmgirl

602 Posts

Cherry
Odenville AL
USA
602 Posts

Posted - Jun 22 2009 :  1:49:53 PM  Show Profile
I have, Lori! About a month ago, my 17 yo DD came home with her first ticket, not wearing her seat belt. The hubs and I were so angry and I wanted tangible consequences, like you. I wanted her grounded from her car and forbidden to ride with anyone other than us so I could make sure she was wearing her seat belt. It angered me so bad because that was one of the conditions of her getting her car, to follow our rules for the car, the first being wearing her seat belt. The hubs, though, he felt it was enough to make her pay for the ticket, even though he was angry, too. (The big softie!)

Then later that very same night, we got a phone call from her that she'd been in a bad accident. Her car was totaled and the accident was a result of her mistake. One of her friends in the car with her was knocked out and she actually thought she'd killed him. It was all so horrible! But it was also the best punishment. None of them were wearing their seat belts. It took her a few weeks before she was ready to drive again, but you can bet that she doesn't move that truck one inch until EVERYone is buckled up!

I think it comes down to responsibility. We've always told our DD that with freedoms come responsibilities and if she can't follow-through with the responsibilities then she's not allowed the freedoms. I'm with you on losing the right to drive. Following the traffic laws are a responsibility that come with the freedom to drive.

Stand strong, sister!

~~Cherry~~

http://cherrymedarlin.blogspot.com

"A thing is as simple or as complicated as you make it." --TT Murphy
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babysmama
True Blue Farmgirl

931 Posts

Elizabeth
Iowa
931 Posts

Posted - Jun 29 2009 :  06:45:47 AM  Show Profile
Well, I think making her pay the $160 may just teach her the lesson she needed...it's not only dangerous to speed but also expensive.
-Elizabeth
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl

5216 Posts

Sharon
Bruce Crossing Michigan
USA
5216 Posts

Posted - Jun 29 2009 :  08:00:11 AM  Show Profile
When I was in my late teens I got stopped for speeding. I could either pay $160.00 or pay $80.00 and take a Driver's Safety class and not have any points against my insurance. Since I was still on my parent's insurance I took the class and paid the lower fee. I am glad that I took the course, it was a real eye opener. I most definitely would have her pay the fine and maybe see if there are any classes she could take too. If she is on your insurance, I think you and your husband need to stress the importance of that too.

~Sharon

By His Grace, For His Glory

http://merryheartjournal.blogspot.com/
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl

1270 Posts

Diane
Blasdell N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts

Posted - Jun 30 2009 :  10:35:02 AM  Show Profile
I never started the car until everyone was buckled in. Then 16 years later my son said "Mom you lied to us" I said about what? He replyed "the car will start with out the seat belts being buckled" I said not mine and your's better not start either. A few years later he hit black ice and lost all control of the car it went end over end and only because he had on his seatbelt he walked away from the car. He did not even get a ticket as he did everything right. When he came home and I found out what happened we talked and he thanked me for making everyone buckle up his whole life. He said that is what really saved him. When I went to give him a hug & kiss goodnight I started to cry and I could not let go of him. He thought it was funny but I just couldn't stop holding him, so he tickled me until I did.
I think she should pay the fine all of it. I would also look into a class that will show movies of what can happen when you speed or don't buckle up. Remind her how much you love her. Let her know why she can't drive with friends She has already proven to you that she is not responsiable enough at this time. If you really love her show it and get tough. I would hate to have her get into an accident that she can't get out of. I have 3 friends who each lost a child to a car accident that was all their fault.
I was allowed to take driver's ed. in school. Now the kids have to pay for the privledge of taking driving ed. I believe it should be manatory that No One gets out of school with out driver's ed. My star's Gym is manatory. Driving used to be a privledge but now it's a way of life, everyone needs to be taught the right way to drive. You have no idea how painful it is to lose a child that way.

Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl

3659 Posts

Sherri
Elma WA
USA
3659 Posts

Posted - Jun 30 2009 :  11:13:22 AM  Show Profile
My oldest son has always been a challenge and a rebel. When he lived at home he would start out of the yard with his seat belt on, but who knows how long that lasted - to the end of the driveway? Anyway, he was in a wreck recently (he's 33 now) and received broken ribs and a punctured lung. The hospital told him his injuries were caused by the shoulder belt - can you believe that? I couldn't believe he was wearing a shoulder strap until I found out it was my DIL's car - it had those automatic ones that move across you when you get in. Unfortunately, what the doc and nurses told him in the hospital is not going to help get him to wear them in the future.

Farmgirl Sister #98
Visit my online store at:
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl

11381 Posts

Jenny
middle of Utah
USA
11381 Posts

Posted - Jun 30 2009 :  12:51:34 PM  Show Profile
I have three grown sons so I have been there for sure. Two of my boys got speeding or exhibition of speed (burning out) tickets in the first 6 months of getting their lisences..sigh. They were grounded from their car for a month, AND had to pay the ticket. Since they paid their own insurance..they sure noticed the pinch in that area too. It only happened once to each of them. Well, before they were grown up. I have 4 more kids coming up on driving in the next few years..one in a year!!! yikes. here we go again!

Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl

3659 Posts

Sherri
Elma WA
USA
3659 Posts

Posted - Jun 30 2009 :  12:55:11 PM  Show Profile
Driving is one of my least favorite parts of raising kids!

Farmgirl Sister #98
Visit my online store at:
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl

2313 Posts

lori
Fort Atkinson Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts

Posted - Jun 30 2009 :  2:13:38 PM  Show Profile
Well Katie is paying ALL of her ticket, her name was in the paper for the police log and we live in a small city and EVERYONE reads that part of the paper. She is very embarassed- as she should be! We have had many conversations about not wearing a seatbelt, speeding and not driving safely. She had a friend that was killed 2 years ago- she took her sisters car, was drinking, lost control and hit a tree and died- she was 15 yrs old. And we had dear friends that were killed by a drunk driver this past Febuary, a dad and his 11 yr old son. I did take her to see the car and truck that was in the accident- it was so bad! She keeps telling me she understands- but not always changing her behavior- I am ready to take the battery out of the car and let it sit!!
xoxo-Lori

Thank GOD I'm a Country Girl!
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