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Across the Fence:  How do you deal with loneliness?  |
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gateway girl
True Blue Farmgirl
135 Posts
Shari
Missouri
USA
135 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 03 2009 : 8:46:19 PM
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Hi, I lost my job last April due to outsourcing. I was a security guard for a very large corporation. I talked to hundreds of people everyday. Not that I really had any friends but I talked to people. Now I'm at home and the only people I talk to are my 4 grown kids ( who are all on their own )and my husband. Don't get me wrong. I love them all dearly and I couldn't ask for a better husband. I'm just lonely. I live in the woods away from the neighbors. I try to keep busy with baking fresh bread every couple days,embroidery, weaving, reading and planning my garden. I know once I can plant my garden I will be busier,I plan on canning this summer, but I miss people. I'm 48 years old and due to circumstances beyond my control with my first husband, I have no friends and really have no opportunity to make any. Is there anyone that lives remotely that can tell me how to deal with the loneliness? I'm not really depressed, just lonely. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Shari
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, it's not just about survival. Live every second to it's fullest!
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ponypower
True Blue Farmgirl
68 Posts
Lily
Caspar
Ca
USA
68 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2009 : 8:57:55 PM
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Hi Shari,
Do you have any animals for companionship? I know I rely on my animals a lot for daily companionship,...The other thing is,.is there any volunteer opportunities for you where you are? Might be worth the "trip to town" to get involved with other people of like mind with a cause close to your heart. Instant common ground and you can do some good at the same time. Oh and keep writing on the forum for you are never truly alone!
Love, Lily |
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gateway girl
True Blue Farmgirl
135 Posts
Shari
Missouri
USA
135 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2009 : 9:12:36 PM
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Lily, I don't have any animals except what God has provided for me. I have deer, coyotes, fox, turkeys, lots and lots of birds, but no family pets. My husband and I like to go on motorcycle trips for extended periods of time, (usually a month at a time) so it would be really hard to have a family pet. We plan on getting some chickens and a couple nigerian dwarf goats in 2 years when my husband retires but until then we will remain animaless. I've thought about volunteering at a grade school helping kids learn to read. I've done that before when my kids were in school but the local grade school wasn't interested. Maybe I could find an elderly person to help but I hate to be intrusive. Thanks for the suggestions. I think I'll talk to the local churches.
Shari
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, it's not just about survival. Live every second to it's fullest!
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4742 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4742 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2009 : 9:14:23 PM
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I know you feel Shari. Back six years ago, I quit a job I loved when I had my youngest son. I worked with my husband and a great group of scientists. I was so lonely and bored and it took me awhile to get over it. After I had my son, (I'm a stay at home mom still) I would put him in his stroller and we walked for an hour every day around the neighborhood. I met lots of people that way. I stayed in touch with co-workers who were also my friends. I invited them over for lunch or dinner and 6 years later still do.
If you can find some places that you can join such as park district programs, crafting groups, bicycle clubs, or volunteer at a hospital, church, meals-on-wheels, etc. that will help you get out and in touch with others. The best thing is to get out and meet with people, don't isolate yourself or depression will soon follow the loneliness. Best of luck on adjusting. We farmgirls are always here for you!
Dawn in IL |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2009 : 9:16:20 PM
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Shari- Another idea would be to volunteer at your local library or museaum. Or start a farmgirl chapter! Put a flyer up at the library and maybe you will get some responses.
Until then- log on and hang out here! That is one thing that really made my move from Montana to Idaho easier was knowing I could log on and have some fantastic friends here!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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NudeFoodFarm
True Blue Farmgirl
433 Posts
Heide
Benton City
WA
433 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2009 : 9:49:01 PM
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I agree with what everyone is saying about getting out and meeting people. They started the farm girl group here by putting flyers out at the farmers market. I am sure there are other woman in your community that are looking for a night out. We get together one night a month at someones house to talk about different topics we are interested in. There are over 130 members but usually only 20 to 30 ladies show up, all different ages in different stages in their lives. But never a dull moment!
I know how you feel because before the farm girls that was were I was at. If you aren't able to start a farm girl group then try to find a group with common interests near you.
Otherwise you can always find us here. . .lol
best,
h
Nude Food Farm
~Grown so good,
Dressing is Optional. |
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dkelewae
True Blue Farmgirl
1310 Posts
Diana
Saint Peters
MO
USA
1310 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2009 : 07:49:23 AM
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Shari-I agree with the others, the best cure for lonliness is to get out there! Like to garden? Join a garden club. Like to do crafts? Find others who share your passion and join a group(I'm in a knitting group that meets every Tuesday evening) or start one yourself. Are you a person of faith? Join a church. And of course, there are several MO Farmgirls here, and you know how social we are!
I'm not far from St Louis, so if you'd like to meet for coffee or lunch sometime I'd be pleased to meet you :)
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #272
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city!
http://farmgirldreams.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - dkelewae on Apr 04 2009 07:51:54 AM |
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misspittypat
True Blue Farmgirl
102 Posts
lila
osceola
mo
USA
102 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2009 : 07:58:55 AM
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You are not alone -- there are great deal of people who are lonely....volunteer at a homeless shelter; take a quilt class or just go for a walk. But I do think you need a dog or cat... with/out my dogs I would have lost my mind a long time ago.
Peace
Lila |
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gateway girl
True Blue Farmgirl
135 Posts
Shari
Missouri
USA
135 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2009 : 7:50:17 PM
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Thanks everyone for your support and ideas. I appreciate all of it. Diana, I have kids that live in O'Fallon, and I'm out there a couple times a month. I would love to meet you. I'll email you personally, if that is Ok. Thanks again everyone. It's nice to know I really am not all alone.
Shari
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, it's not just about survival. Live every second to it's fullest!
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3324 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3324 Posts |
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ranchetta
True Blue Farmgirl
318 Posts
carol
Marysville
Wahington
USA
318 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2009 : 10:30:07 PM
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Hi, Shari...
Many years ago I was going through a very tough time and needed to do something other than to dwell on what was happening in my life. It was very difficult but I literally forced myself to volunteer as a crisis counselor for Volunteers of America. I received excellent training which included finding resources for individuals in all types of situations (information which I was able to pass on later to others long after my volunteer commitment was past).
I still keep in touch with one of the other volunteers that I worked with.
By giving a little I ended up with getting so much. Good luck to you.
http://curlywillowsranch.blogspot.com/
http://alteredshots.blogspot.com/ |
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dkelewae
True Blue Farmgirl
1310 Posts
Diana
Saint Peters
MO
USA
1310 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2009 : 06:01:28 AM
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Shari, I look forward to hearing from you! drop me an email and we'll arrange meeting up for coffee/lunch.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #272
St. Peters MO
Country Girl trapped in the city!
http://farmgirldreams.blogspot.com/ |
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LouisvilleMom
True Blue Farmgirl
246 Posts
Kathryn
Louisville
KY
USA
246 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2009 : 08:55:49 AM
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This is the reason we have chosen acreage in a neighborhood. I am too easily depressed and love my friends. Also having young kids who are social has swayed our decision also. Can you get a dog? Ours night as well be my 5th child. they say that a dog or cat works wonders. I know when my parents were going through an awful divorce (they have since remarried) she says that the pooches were all that got her through. I wish I still lived in MO...I would come can with you!
SAHM mom to four great boys.
http://ksfarnsworth.blogspot.com/ |
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pinkroses
True Blue Farmgirl
2350 Posts
Sheila
Virginia
USA
2350 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2009 : 09:41:58 AM
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I know what you mean
I have a hubby and a son
and mom.
I only talk to Mom
I talk to son and hubby; but most of the time it is all one sided
I have no real life friends to talk to
You know like a girlfriend
That is why I like forums like this
I belong to wwww.oldfashionedliving.com
I met this lovely lady that lives in the state of Washington.
We are pretty sure we are distant cousins.
To many things in common with our families not to be.
I have known her for years now
If you need a lady friend you can pm me.
hugs sheila .
www.ohkayteagirl2.blogspot.com
http;//www.sheilascreativetouches.blogspot.com |
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Across the Fence: How do you deal with loneliness? |
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How do you deal with loneliness?
