Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts
Posted - Mar 08 2009 : 11:42:08 AM
So Doug and I had a talk last night about me getting my horse and the plans for the future and he finally told me something that really explains a lot of the problems we have had in getting on the same page for the horse ranch dream.
Doug finally told me that he is phobic of horses. Looking from the outside in I can see how it is ignorance of how to handle horses that has lead to this reaction. Unfortunatly that doesn't make it any less scary for him!
Luckily he wants me to be happy so he is still supporting me in my dream- he just needs me to know that he won't be able to help with it at all.
I had no idea! So now I know why he has be so much less supportive than I had expected him to be and why he has thrown so many road blocks in the path.
I am glad he finally told you his fears. It does explain a lot. Isn't communication wonderful!!! Ya know, sometimes just having a horse around will show someone that horses are OK. I wonder what happened to make him feel that way? And he certainly knew when he met you that you loved horses. Good for him for being supportive. MB
I love horses and have had a horse for a few years. They are beautiful animals and very big. The last time I rode mine she threw me off. I did not have much experience and she was young. And 2 people had ridden her already, so the blanket was all messed up and the saddle loose. I should have checked all that before I got on. But she shook and that scared me and she felt my fear and started bucking. That's the scariest feeling. It was awful and or course I fell right on my back. Knocked the sense out of me and scared my daughter so bad she called 911. I sure was glad no one else was around. That was so embarrasing. I broke my pinkie on my right hand. It's so crooked, but I didn't realize it was broken.
So I have not been on a horse since and don't really want to. But I still love them and would get another small OLD gelding for the grandkids when we figure out where to put it. So I know how your hubby feels. My hubby is so afraid of horses, too.
I am glad he still wants you to go ahead and do this. He's a good guy.
Kris
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you. Maori proverb
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts
Posted - Mar 08 2009 : 12:31:49 PM
That must have been terrifying, Kristin. I am so glad you are okay.
What happened was Doug had a friend that took him horseback riding. They put him on a horse and gave no instructions on how to control the horse or how to ride. Then the friend took off on his horse and the pair were used to running together so of course Doug's horse followed. Well as the horse ran, Doug had no idea how to control his legs and so he ended up knocking his heels into the horse's sides at a gallop so the horse just kept running when all Doug wanted it to do was stop. Doug is not the type of person that likes to be out of control at all. So then at a later date (probably years later) he tried to pet a horse through some bars in a fence. The horse leaned into his scratches and ended up pinning his hand which then just made the fears worse.
Doug masks his fear with anger/indifference/distain. So now I know why his reactions have been so contradictory and just weird. I seriously could not figure out where his reactions were coming from.
So we made a deal. I can get the horse but he wants me to understand that he doesn't want to see it or be around it. One of the advantages of hiring a barn to stable her at is that she will get fed even if I am not there.
Big Revelation
Posted - Mar 08 2009 : 11:42:08 AM
